


Blood and Vengeance [Arc 1]

by HongmoonDescendant (SugarCherrySundea)



Series: Blood & Vengeance AU [1]
Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004), A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-03-05 18:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 42
Words: 107,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18834166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarCherrySundea/pseuds/HongmoonDescendant
Summary: In an alternate timeline, Violet Baudelaire sees the wickedness of Count Olaf's ways and becomes absolutely fed up, vowing to end his life to the entire audience of the "Marvelous Marriage".Now chasing the vile Count Olaf, the Baudelaires follow Olaf through a series of events, tracking him down. Violet, with her venomous tongue, brilliant inventing skills, and quick witted fighting abilities, will eventually catch up to the disgusting pedophile and murderer, ending his reign of tyranny once and for all.Acquiring allies and foes along the way, this will certainly end in bloodshed.





	1. The Baneful Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo my dudes, Arisa Bunni here, creator of the Way of Xia AU (Check that out, why don't you? https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860 it's still in the works!I try to update once a week.). I'm here to bring you a pedophile slaughtering Violet Baudelaire in a wonderful little AU which is VERY MUCH ANTI-VIOLAF. This is for all you VILE Violaf shippers out there, may you disgusting pedophile shipping losers burn in all seven layers of hell, including the Dark Realm and the In-Between, God, Grand Creator, and Divines help you. :^)
> 
> To those on the Very Frightening Discord, enjoy! This multi-chapter fanfiction is just for you and I, and I am very please to be writing it, plot holes and self-indulged murder and all.
> 
> Violet is out on a murderous rampage, and her target is none other than the disgusting, wicked, and vile Cunt Olaf. uwu
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/  
> \---
> 
> You may think you know the tale of unfortunate events that unfolded with the very unfortunate generation that came after the sugar bowl,  
> But,  
> I assure you,  
> You. Know. Nothing.
> 
> I am Arisa Bunni Artisan, and I am here to tell you a series of alternate events that unfolded in a more sinister timeline...
> 
> a tale blood and vengeance.
> 
> The Baudelaire parents, Beatrice and Bertrand, had sent off their three dear children to the shores of Briny Beach in hopes that they would safely escape the flames that would soon lick their doorstep, but, however, this would not come to be.
> 
> The Baudelaire children were wonderful, smart - prodigies, even.
> 
> The eldest was Violet Baudelaire, the inventor - a fearless girl. Whenever she put her hair up, you know the gears and levers of her mind were at work... and one day, she put her hair up... and it never came back down.
> 
> The middle sibling was Klaus Baudelaire, a well-read boy who memorized any word he saw on paper. he was able to recall these memories at the snap of a finger. his glasses made him look smart - and he was.
> 
> The youngest was little baby Sunny Baudelaire, with teeth as sharp as her wit. She was remarkably smart for her age, knowing words that a babe probably shouldn't. She could also chew through anything - even solid iron.
> 
> These children would soon know the great pain of a lost family member when the incompetent Mr. Poe arrived to them through the mist of that cloudy day on Briny Beach, as we all well know.
> 
> Thus they were sent to the vile,  
> Disgusting,  
> Wretched man known as Count Olaf.
> 
> After discovering he had a hand in their parents’ death, hitting Klaus, trying to harm sunny, and being an absolute disgusting pedophile towards violet...
> 
> Violet had finally snapped.  
> And that is when she vowed to kill Olaf herself.

                 

                Klaus trailed slowly behind his sister, carrying a backpack full of various weapons and other very frightening doo-dads. Violet stepped quickly in front of him, holding Sunny in one arm, and a large knife in her other hand, a large satchel hung off her shoulder, which held various other supplies.

                “How long have we been walking for..?” The spectacled boy asked, trying to keep up with his sisters. Violet glanced back,

“’Couple of hours, something like that. If the map Jacky gave us is right, then we’ll rest at the next motel.”

* * *

 

                The Baudelaires had recently escaped Count Olaf’s clutches a few days ago, following the _“Marvelous Marriage”_ , slipping under Mr. Poe’s nose, and getting the blessing of Jacquelyn.

 _“I’ll try to divert the search.”_ Jacquelyn had said _, “Keep them off your tail… it’s clear I won’t be able to… change your minds.”_ She had glanced heavily at Violet, who already had a fierce fire in her eyes. During the “play”, Klaus had proved the marriage to be false, but afterward, Violet had stared straight into the disgusting, wiry man’s eyes and spat (With as much venom as a fourteen year old could muster.),

                _“Vile bastard, cursed man who walks this bitch of an Earth. I will not rest until I find you dead under my foot, your blood on my hands. Wicked son-of-a-bitch, I WILL kill you MYSELF,”_ Violet shouted,

**_“Disgusting. Fucking. Pedophile.”_ **

                Mr. Poe, Justice Strauss, and the rest of the crowd gawked in surprised silence. Olaf himself had seen the look in her eye – she wasn’t messing around. She was being honest-to-God serious. That’s when the lights had been shut off, and without another word, he escaped.

                The Baudelaire siblings wasted no time in doing the same.

                Poe and Strauss were beside themselves, but Jacquelyn and Gustav already knew what was brewing.

                Jacquelyn and Gustav managed to catch up to the children in an alleyway beside the theatre,

                _“We’ll help you, Baudelaires. We’ll provide you with what you need. Just… promise us you won’t-“_

                 Violet looked emotionless at the auburn-haired woman, _“I can’t promise anything but his death.”_ Klaus had been in a daze this entire time, Sunny babbling various cheers of _“Kill!!! Kill!!!”_.

                _“We’ll be alive, but he sure as hell won’t be.”_ She had spat.

                The man and woman before them nodded. They guided them to a safe place,

                Provided them with clothing and goods,              

                As well as weapons (Of Violet’s choice.),

                And off they went.

                As nonsensical as it may have seemed, there wasn’t anyone on the face of the Earth that would stop this girl and her siblings from hunting the twisted man down.

* * *

 

                “Here we are.” Violet said, walking up to an old-looking motel. They were just on the outside of town. If their intel was correct, then Olaf was nearby, hiding out along Lousy Lane. “Let’s set up shop, rest for the evening, then we continue our search at sunrise.”

                Klaus huffed, “Is it really… ok to be doing this?”

                Sunny giggled in Violet’s arm as the elder girl slipped the knife in her hand in its sheath at her hip, “Decimate!” which meant something along the lines of _“No harm, no fowl!”_

                “Precisely.” Violet answered. She walked up to the entryway of the motel, looking back at Klaus, “If you need any help carrying that shit, I can do that.”

                Klaus straightened himself up, “No, no, I’m fine. No worries. I’m here to support you in your endeavors, no matter the circumstance.” He rambled on.

                His elder sister gave him a worried look.

                “Ok, look, I’m just worried we’re going to get into a mountain of trouble for this-“

                “We’ve discussed this, little brother. Everything is being covered up.”

                Klaus gave an exasperated sigh,

                “Right, yeah. Of course.”

                The moon hung high in the sky, and the three children entered the motel, Klaus lugging the backpack, Violet carrying her own weight.

                An elderly man at the counter looked down at them,

                “Aren’t you three a little young to be by yourselves?”

                Violet waved him off, “Our parents will be arriving, soon. They sent us ahead of time to grab the room. No worries.” Klaus raised his eyebrows at her. She was clearly prepared for this entire endeavor.

                “I see. Well, what will it be-?” The elderly man asked, and Violet cut him off,

                “Three children, two adults, one night. Whatever is available is fine.”

                The elderly man merely nodded and turned back to the wall behind him, plucking up a key,

                “Payment will be expected when those parents of yours’ arrive.” He said, handing Violet the key.

                She snatched it up, smiling, “Of course.” And immediately began to walk off. Klaus double took her for a second, then toddled after her.

                “What in the world was _that?_ ” He asked after they were out of the old man’s sight. Violet snorted, “That was me doing what was necessary. Jacky and Gustav should be here, soon. I still have the spyglass she gave us, they’ll find us easily when I shine the light from it.”

                Klaus furrowed his brows,

                “This seems all… kind’ve convenient, you know? And why are you so hell-bent on this? Do you even know how to fight-?”

                Violet cut him off,

                “Trust me, this is all going to go _swimmingly,_ little dude. We’ll catch up to him, soon.” They had already made their way through some hallways and to their room, in which Violet unlocked and swung the door open.

                The three entered it, Klaus closing the door behind them.

                “What do you mean?” He asked, throwing the pack on a bed.

                “I _mean_ that once we rest here for the night, we’ll be making our way to a man by the name of ‘Montgomery Montgomery’ tomorrow. He’s a herpetologist. Studies reptiles and whatnot. Lives on Lousy Lane, the same place Bastard Man is hiding, currently.” Violet rambled on, placing Sunny on another bed, along with the satchel.

                Klaus sat on the bed he laid the pack on,

                “Is this… Montgomery going to help us?”

                “Apparently.” Violet yawned, taking out the spyglass, fiddling with it until a light shown from the end of it, and set it at the window. “There. They should be here, soon. No worries.”

                “I’m scared, Violet.” Klaus mumbled.

                “Don’t be.” Violet said, looking back at him from the corner of her eye,

                “I’ll have a handle on this. You remember those fancy feminist quotes you read a while back?”

                Klaus blinked at her, “I… I think so?”

                “Gimmie one right now, little dude.”

                “…Behind every good woman there’s a great left hook.” He said suddenly.

                “ _There_ it is.” Violet smirked, looking out the window while crossing her arms.

                Klaus shook his head, “But how in the world are you expecting to take Olaf down? You don’t even know how-“

                “How to fight?” Violet finished, unsheathing the knife on her hip, turning to him, “Darling little brother of mine, light of my life, my wonderful little nerd,” She said, walking over to him and placing a hand on his head, Sunny laughed on the bed behind them, “I can assure you, _I know exactly what the hell I’m doing._ ”

                Klaus looked up at her, stunned. He looked from her face, to the knife, and back, “What- who-“

                “Mother said it was my responsibility to take care of you guys, yeah?” She interrupted, spinning the knife in her hand, “So I took it upon myself to get some… lessons. Something didn’t feel right. And that gut feeling was _more_ than correct.”

                Klaus raised an eyebrow, thoroughly surprised, “And when were you going to tell me all this?”

                “I didn’t think I had to so soon.” Violet shrugged.

                A knock came at the door, causing Klaus to jump, Sunny to clasp her hands over her mouth, and Violet to go into a ready stance, holding the knife steadily in her hand. She carefully approached the door, quietly, and looked through the peephole.

                Two figures stood, one with auburn hair, and another with darker hair and a beard.

                “It’s Jacquelyn and Gustav, go turn off the spyglass’s light. It’s easy to figure out, ‘specially for you.” Violet breathed. She undid the latches and locks, opening the door, the two adults slipped into the room, and she quickly closed the door, replacing said locks and such.

                “Excellent, you made it safe and sound. It was a good thing we had an associate at the counter.” Jacquelyn said, taking off her own backpack, placing it on the floor by a chair. Gustav nodded, “ We were worried you wouldn’t make it here on foot so quickly, but you proved us quite wrong.”

                Klaus stared at them, who had turned off the spyglass and set it on the nightstand by Sunny, “An _associate_?”

                “Yes, it’s why he didn’t give you trouble.” Gustav replied.

                Violet smirked, “Thanks, good to know. Hopefully that light didn’t give away our position to Cunt Olaf.”

                “Certainly not, we’ve received word he went to Montgomery’s, or nearby, at least, which is an issue within itself.” Jacquelyn replied, “If we’re not carefully, the villain could off him… but Monty is a witty man. I’m sure he won’t be much trouble.”

                Violet rolled her eyes, “Right, sure. Of course.” Sunny took the spyglass from the nightstand beside her, putting the heavy object in her lap, “Caché.” She mumbled, her small hands twisting the odd symbols around.

                “What our sister means is-“ Klaus began, “There are a lot of… secrets in that spyglass.”

                Jacquelyn nodded, “Yes. If you want the truth behind the bit that you found, along with all else, we’d be happy to tell you, since…”

                Violet sheathed her knife and crossed her arms again, “Go on.”

                “Your parents, and we as well, were part of an organization known as V.F.D.” Jacquelyn started, “But since a schism started, it’s since fallen to pieces. We’ve been trying to pick up the pieces, but to no avail. Our associates have been dropping like flies-“

                Gustav looked from Jacquelyn to the Baudelaires, “There have been many losses on both sides of the schism. It’s devolved into utter chaos.”

The Baudelaires stared at them in awe. Their parents… in a secret organization?

                Violet wasn’t as surprised as Klaus or Sunny, since her usually snooping had found herself finding odd documents within their drawers and shelves. She chose not to ask questions, fearing being punished for said snooping.

                “I’d thought as much.” The eldest Baudelaire spoke up, “Probably why my parents didn’t object to me wanting to learn how to fight.”

                “And a prodigy you ended up being, both with your inventions and your fighting skills.” Jacquelyn commented, “But we kept with your parents’ wishes with keeping you out of V.F.D.”

                “And it was probably for the best… up until now.” Gustav noted.

                “Which now begs the question,” Jacquelyn continued, “Do you-“

                “No.” Violet spat, “I want nothing to do with V.F.D. – I’d rather focus on the task at hand.”

                Klaus’s eyes were darting violently from each of the people speaking.

                “You… do realize that if you… go after Olaf… that the side he’s allied with will go after you?” Gustav asked carefully.

                Violet scoffed, “I have a nagging feeling that they won’t be much of a problem.”

                The two adults gave each other a worried look,

                “If you’re so sure.” Jacquelyn said, “But you’re still children, and-“

                “Don’t care. Gotta kill a pedophile.” Violet interrupted yet again, going to look through her satchel. Klaus fiddled with his thumbs.

                Gustav sighed, and Jacquelyn ran a hand through her hair, “I suppose there really isn’t changing your mind. Just like your mother.”

                Violet shrugged.

                “We’ll be on your side if you need us. In fact… take this.” Jacquelyn said, bending down to take out something from her pack, “A walkie-talkie, the most high-tech of its kind. If you are in need of us, don’t hesitate to call us.” The woman handed it to Violet, who took it without a second thought.

                “Thanks. We’ll keep that in mind.” The girl said, looking it over. Sunny clapped her hands together.

                “Klaus?” Gustav asked, looking at the boy.

                “…Whatever my sister does, I’m with her.” He replied, though his voice was filled with worry.

                “If… you’re so sure.” Jacquelyn said again.

                “Let’s get some rest. You’ll need it. We’ll get you a cab for Monty’s place in the morning.” Gustav announced.

                Violet nodded off to the side, and Klaus let out a tired sigh. Sunny gave a sharp-toothed grin, “Kill, kill, kill!!” She chanted happily.


	2. The Ravenous Reptiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Baudelaires are now on the move, Violet acquiring some help from a very fine dame, her friend, and a man who enjoys reptiles. Though... a certain bastard will catch up to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hi! Arisa Bunni, here. Hope you enjoy this next chapter. The Way of Xia AU updated recently: (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860) so go check that out, if you have the time. Violet is a gunslinger later in the story! uwu
> 
> Hello to my lovely friends from the Very Frightening Discord! Enjoy this next chapter! Shout outs to Ruby, Connie, and File13. Pedophile slaughtering team, assemble! <3  
> To all Violaf shippers: die in a fire, thanks. You're not welcome here. uwu
> 
>  
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                 

                Jacquelyn and Gustav had awoken before sunrise to get things ready. The Baudelaires woke up one by one, first Violet, then Klaus, then finally Sunny, who was absolutely ecstatic with the current situation.

                However, at breakfast within their little motel room, Jacquelyn threw a newspaper onto the table in front of them. “Interesting stuff. Odd how they get this out so quickly.” She walked over to her bag.

                “ _Murderous Orphans on the Lam?”_ Klaus said through some toast, picking up the newspaper. Violet scoffed. Klaus glanced at her while continuing to read, “After the performance of the _Marvelous Marriage_ last night, Count Olaf reveals himself to have done this play for wicked intentions, only for miss Vernal Baudelaire - Vernal? Vernal. What? …Anyways – to announce that she will stop at nothing to kill him herself! They were last seen attempting to give chase to Count Olaf through the side exit of the theater. Their current whereabouts are unknown-“

                Violet stopped him short,

                “And it’s going to stay that way.” She said, popping a small muffin into her mouth, “Vernal. I like that, though. What an excellent way to associate me with the season of rebirth.” Klaus rose and lowered his eyebrows, “If you want to call it that.”

                “I do, dear brother. I absolutely do.”

                Sunny giggled from her seat, holding a crisp apple she’d been gnawing on. Klaus shook his head at his sisters, “This all definitely seems really…”

                “Out of the ordinary? Sudden? Yes, I understand. But he caused our parents to burn, our lives to burn, he _hit_ you, locked Sunny up, and tried to _marry me, fully intending to touch me._ It’s abhorred. Disgusting. Disgraceful. Fucking deplorable.” As she said this, she finished her breakfast, stood up, and brushed off her dress,

                “Now, today we start the hunt.” She gave a devious smile, “And oh, _what a wonderful hunt it will be._ ”

                Klaus felt a shiver go down his spine as Sunny babbled happily at her, clapping her hands.

                “Right, yes, well – “ Jacquelyn held her walkie-talkie in hand, “The world is quiet, here.” She spoke into it carefully. They heard some static until an unfamiliar voice came into it, “Jacquelyn, hello! Do you have the children with you? Gustav just left.”

                “Yes, Monty, I have the children. Jacques will be taking them to you in his cab, no worries – wait, did you say Gustav left? Why did he leave-?” Jacquelyn’s voice suddenly fell urgent.

  
                “Well, yes, he said he had an important errand to run. I haven’t seen him since… he was supposed to help me pack for Peru today.” Monty replied, perplexed.

                Jacquelyn threw her head back in exasperation, “Sonofa _bitch_.” Her words ran together as she quickly said, “Right, of course, yes. The children will be with you, soon. Jacquelyn out.” She then fiddled with the walkie-talkie, then repeated the same phrase, but the voice that answered back wasn’t the one they were expecting.

                “Hello, Jacquelyn, dear.”

                “ _You fucking_ _piece of shit, **what**_ **_did you do with Gustav_**!?” Jacquelyn hissed at Olaf.

                “Oh, I merely took care of that little problem myself. He was a road block. So I moved him.” The voice dripped through the device like poison.

                Violet felt herself boil over, and she started to walk over quickly, but Jacquelyn held a hand up, and cut the communication for a second, “He can’t know you’re here.” Violet glared at the device with as much malice as she could muster.

                “You won’t win, bastard. You may have taken a friend, but you won’t stop the storm that’s coming your way.” Jacquelyn stated simply, before shutting off the walkie-talkie.

                “Well… this sucks.” Klaus piped up from behind them. Sunny looked at Jacquelyn with worried eyes, “Mort?”

                “Unfortunately, yes, Gustav has bitten the dust.” Violet turned to her sister. Sunny whined sadly.

                “Though it was bound to happen eventually.” Violet shrugged, “Death seems to follow us around like a shadow.”

                “Original.” Klaus smirked. Violet glared at him, “Shut it or I’ll shove you out of that chair, nerd.” He snorted.

                Jacquelyn smiled slightly at their exchange, but her face quickly fell, “Jacques is set to arrive any minute, now. Pack up your things, we’re moving out. This is where we part ways, Baudelaires, but I assure you, this won’t be the last time we see each other.”

                “Who’s Jacques?” Klaus said.

                “A friend of mine. He’ll be taking you to Montogmery’s.” Jacquelyn replied.

                Each of the children looked at each other, a silent agreement was made, and they began to move.

* * *

 

                The Baudelaires each stood in front of the exit of the motel, Jacquelyn standing close by, keeping a look out. A yellow cab suddenly drove up, stopped, and a tall man with a neatly kept mustache stepped out, “Baudelaires, I am Jacques. I know of your intentions, and though I don’t exactly… agree with them… I won’t stop you.”

                

                Violet stepped forward, Sunny in her arms, “Pleasantries. I am Violet, this is Sunny, and that’s Klaus.” Klaus waved from the back. “Let’s get this show on the road, literally.” Violet spoke, smiling at her own stupid joke. Jacquelyn nodded towards Jacques, and he nodded back. She slipped away.

                “Seriously, Vi?” Klaus said.

                “What, you don’t like puns?” Violet asked as Jacques opened the trunk of the cab, allowing them to put their bags into the cab. “No, not really. Yours’ and dad’s were the absolute worst.”

                “Well, you’re going to have to live with it. I’m still here.” Violet snipped, shutting the trunk loudly, and getting into the cab.

                “Fantastic.” Klaus said, following her.

* * *

 

                The ride was long, and Lousy Lane smelt absolutely horrible, much to the Baudelaires dismay.

                “What the hell and fuck is that _smell?_ ” Violet scrunched up her face, Klaus had already lifted his sleeve to his arm.

                “Horseradish.” Jacques said simply.

                “ _Horseradish?_ ” Violet and Klaus said in unison, confused. “But these… are clearly trees.” Klaus snipped.

                “Yes. They held special apples. Long story short, these apples were infused with the stuff to cure an ailment given from a dangerous mushroom.” Jacques rambled.

                “Well, shit. Thanks for being transparent about it.” Violet snorted, “But it does sound incredibly ridiculous.”

                “Indeed it does.” He replied.

                “Qui?” Sunny said suddenly from Klaus’s lap. He looked from her to the rear-view mirror, “What our sister means is… Who is Montgomery, exactly?”

                “Doctor Montgomery Montgomery knew your parents very well. He’s your uncle, in a way.” Jacques said back, glancing at the mirror to Klaus.

                “’In a way’. Great. Comforting.” Violet spoke up, fiddling with the edge of her dress.

                “Apologies if I’m making you uncomfortable, Baudelaires.”

                “No, we’re fine. This is just. Very odd.” Klaus said, side-eyeing his elder sister. She crossed her arms.

                “It is definitely odd, but your parents have always told us how stubborn young Violet is. Beatrice always said she held quite the grudge.” Jacques laughed at his memories.

                “You’re right, and you should say it.” Violet spoke up, lifting her chin up. Klaus furrowed his brows, “That doesn’t mean you should be _proud_ of it, Vi.”

                “Nonsense.” Violet quipped.

                “Vrai!” Sunny chirped to Violet.

* * *

 

                When they arrived at Monty’s the sky was mostly clear, the sun glittering past some pale clouds. The Baudelaires got out of the cab, gathered their bags, and waved to Jacques as he drove off.

                “Baudelaires!” They heard the familiar voice they had listened to from Jacquelyn’s walkie-talkie. They turned around to see a jovial looking man with a silly-looking mustache, teeth as white as snow.

                “Hello, how do you do?” Asked Violet, walking up to him, Sunny in her arm. Klaus followed beside her. “I am Violet, this is Sunny, and Klaus.”

                “It’s so good to finally meet you three! I was wondering when your parents were going to introduce me, but alas, the day never came… until now!” Monty spoke happily, “Coconut crème cake?” He suddenly produced a plate in front of them, containing a delicious looking slice of cake. Violet smiled politely, “No, sorry, I’m not fond of coconut-“ “I am.” Klaus interrupted, taking the plate hungrily. Violet rolled her eyes, “Our parents never spoke of you…”

                “Not ever?” Monty asked, raising an eyebrow.

                “Nope.” Klaus replied.

                “How odd. Well, it isn’t surprising. They didn’t want anything to do with V.F.D. once you lot came about. No harm, no fowl, bambini.” Monty replied, motioning them inside his home.

                “I suppose so.” Violet said, stepping through the doorway.

                “Bambini?” Klaus asked.

                Monty laughed, “It means children, Baudelaires! While you’re under my care, I will make sure you get everything you need.”

                Violet grinned, and Klaus shrugged.

* * *

 

                Uncle Monty proved to be a very jovial man indeed. He showed them around his beautiful home, made them lunch, and eventually lead them to the room which held his pride and joy –

                “The reptile room!” Monty said excitedly, “Now, this door contains all sorts of complicated locking mechanisms and such, but only my most _trusted_ advisers know to simply… open the door with this simple knob.” He said, turning the handle and opening the door.

                Violet smiled widely through the entire ordeal, Sunny clapping her hands wildly.

                As the door opened, a beautiful, glass wall-to-ceiling room was revealed, filled with reptiles and amphibians of all kinds. Klaus’s jaw dropped.

                “Holy shit.” Violet spoke up, walking into the room, staring around.

                “Snake!!!” Sunny announced, pointing around in every direction.

                Violet placed Sunny down in front of a large cage, “What’s in this one?” she spoke, touching the white fabric covering the cage.

                “Oh… that is the Incredibly Deadly Viper!” Monty exclaimed excitedly, throwing off the sheet, presenting a large, long snake, black as pitch. Sunny clapped her hands and waved up at it. The snake immediately took interest in the blonde-haired baby, jumping out of its cage, launching itself between Violet and Klaus –

                Now, I know what you’re thinking. _Where have I read or seen this before?_ Good question. I have no idea. But hey! It’s fine. She’s ok.

                The elder Baudelaires let out cries of fear, but Monty let out a hearty laugh, “Not to worry, my dear children, the name is a misnomer!”

                “So it’s not actually dangerous!?” Klaus yelped while bending down to the two on the floor.

                “Yes, this viper is actually the friendliest snake on the planet! The kindest, and the sweetest. In fact, even when I tried to feed it flies, it wouldn’t take them! It seems to like fruit more.” Monty continued.

                “Wouldn’t even harm a fly…” Violet said softly, looking down at the snake. It then looked up at her, flicking its’ tongue happily.

                Monty nodded, “Yes, yes. Anywhom, We’ll speak of your next moves, tonight. A friend of mine and yours’, Josephine, would be happy to help you. I could also supply you with some poisons if you so needed them.”

                Violet’s eyes darkened, the edges of her mouth turning up, “That would be quite splendid, thank you.”

* * *

 

                The Baudelaires were in the reptile room, relaxing happily. Monty had said he would be off to pick up some Asian food as takeout, and Violet had called to get extra pot stickers, as they were her favorite.

                “I’m guessing this eye is a symbol of V.F.D., then?” Klaus wondered aloud,  looking at some blueprints of the hedge maze nearby Monty’s house.

                “Clearly. I suppose Olaf was a member before that schism shit started.” Violet spoke up, watching Sunny feed bananas to the tortoise, the viper sitting comfortably around her.

                Klaus shrugged, “This whole organization just gives me cult vibes, to be quite honest.”

                Violet smirked, “Exactly, it’s why I said no. I’m not going to be sucked into something like that. I have a plan of my own.”

                While this was all happening, something had been creeping toward Violet, ever so slowly, eyeing her carefully hearing her words.

                Violet felt this presence, and slowly turned her head around,

                “Oh, shit, ok.” She said aloud. Klaus and Sunny looked her direction.

                A dark purple cobra with white markings had slithered up to her, bearing its’ fangs. She looked down at it, slowly offering a hand. Klaus let out a panicked noise, “Now hold on, Vi, don’t-“

                The cobra slid towards her, flicking its’ tongue onto her hand,

                Slithered up her arm,

                And onto her shoulders.

                And there it sat. The viper lazily looked at it, and Sunny clapped her hands.

                Klaus looked at his elder sister and the cobra with a bewildered look,

                “What the hell?”

                Violet laughed and placed a tender hand on the cobras head, it flicked it’s tongue onto her cheek, “ I think it likes me.” Sunny nodded, “Venimeux!” Klaus looked at Sunny, then back to the cobra, “It’s definitely venomous.”

                “Good. It’s a precious little thing, yeah?” Violet looked at it. The cobra poked at her face with it’s nose. Violet giggled, “Oh, it’s so cute, I’m going to explode, holy shit-“

                “Only you would find an extremely deadly cobra adorable.” Klaus said nervously. Sunny smiled, her sharp teeth showing, “Friend!!! Murder!!!”

                “Maybe Monty will let me keep it?” Violet wondered aloud, already plotting. Klaus double took her, “You can’t be serious?”

                “Oh, but I am.” Violet said, stroking the cobra delicately, looking at him with raised eyebrows. The cobra also looked at him, raising its’ head in triumph.

                “Good God, it’s like it knows what you’re saying.” Klaus said nervously.

  
                “ _Precisely.”_ Violet chuckled.

* * *

                Monty had returned, and they helped him with the takeout bags, “It’s quite disappointing I had to cancel my Peru trip, bambini, but it’s all worth it to help you. I’m sure you will succeed in your endeavors, Miss Violet.”

                Violet smiled softly, “Of course.” She plucked more pot stickers from the bowl in front of her. Klaus rolled his eyes, shoving more ramen into his mouth,

                “By the way, some purple cobra’s taking a liking to Violet” Klaus said through a full mouth.

                Monty raised his eyebrows, “Ah, the Laced Cobra? I wouldn’t be surprised! I’ve heard it’s quite friendly to those with big ideals.” Violet slipped a pot sticker into her mouth, eyeing the cobra now slithering toward her in question.

                “It’s… venomous, right?” Klaus asked, fact checking.

                “Oh, yes, highly venomous indeed.” Monty answered, “It feeds off of rats and other small animals.”

                “I know a rat it could eat.” Violet said hatefully, letting the cobra rest it’s head in her hand as it slid up her arm. Sunny waved at it happily, and it flicked it’s tongue in content in return.

                Monty laughed, “Oh, yes, well, let’s finish up, here, and perhaps we could go see a movie?” he said, standing up. The Baudelaires smiled at each other, “I guess?” Klaus said. “No harm, no fowl.” Violet repeated.

* * *

 

                The Baudelaires had taken to their room to get ready for their outing. Klaus eyed the cobra, still on Violet’s shoulders, “Is that thing going to be on you at all times, now?”

                Violet was in the middle of cleaning a dagger when she glanced at him, “Of course. This little sweetheart is a new friend of mine. Who knows what they could help me with.”

                Sunny cackled and Klaus shook his head.

                “Name!!” Sunny then said out loud.

                “A name? Perhaps-“ Violet started –

                Suddenly, a loud sound came from downstairs, like shattering glass. The Baudelaires immediately looked to the door before them. Violet reacted quickly, sheathing the blade she was shining, and grabbed a pistol from her bag, “Stay here.”

                “ _Stay here?_ What do you mean stay here?” Klaus asked quickly,

                “ ** _Stay. Here._** ” She repeated, the cobra nodded at him. The boy blinked at the both of them, but stayed silent.

                She soon slipped through the door silently.

* * *

 

                “Olaf, you-“ Monty said, standing around the shattered glass of his reptile room, many of them hissing and screeching. Olaf waved his hand dismissively, his troupe surrounding the man like predators, “Whatever plans you have for me and those children, you won’t be able to enact. Your time ends here, dear friend.”

                Monty looked at him with pleading eyes, “Olaf, you don’t need to do this. You’re better than this-“

                “I never was _anything_ , Montgomery.” Olaf spat unintelligently, “I know exactly what I want, and it’s to see that little girl’s blood spill from her mouth from under me.”

                Monty gasped.

                Violet had already slipped into the room, ever so silently, unlocking various cages, the Laced Cobra keeping watch for her.

                Then, the two white-faced women grabbed Monty, holding him down,

                Olaf sprung forward, wielding a jagged blade, and struck Monty in the chest.

                Blood spilled from the once love-filled man, his coughs sputtered and forced,

                “W-why… why…”

                Olaf pulled the blade from the man’s heart, “Another road block. Moved.”

                Violet clasped her hands on her mouth, and the Laced Cobra bore it’s fangs with great anger. She felt hot tears spill from her eyes.

                He didn’t deserve this.

                This passionate man. Who loves his animals. Who dedicated his life to his work. Who wanted to help she and her siblings.

                She felt fire in her veins. Her teeth tightened against each other in anger, causing a dull pain to shoot through her jaw.

                She came out of her hiding place as Monty fell, blade in one hand, pistol in another,

                “ ** _YOU. MOTHER. FUCKING. SON OF A. BITCH._** ”

                Her scream echoed through the large room, and then, the cages that she had unlocked swung open, various reptiles and amphibians shot out, going after some of the other troupe members, who scattered.

                Olaf grinned,

                “And so the little Countess shows her face.”

                Violet lifted her chin, the cobra on her shoulder raising its’ own head, and they both hissed,

                “ ** _I. Am not. Your. COUNTESS._** ”

                Violet launched herself forward, the cobra wrapping around the vile man’s neck, tightening quickly. He blocked her arm from his chest, but she was able to stab her blade into his shoulder, him forcing out an agonized cry.

                She pulled it from his shoulder, his blood splattering, as he pulled his own blade, some of the other troupe members had already scattered, but the one with hook-hands looked fearfully at the situation unfolding before him. Violet jumped backwards, the Laced Cobra jumping back to her shoulders.

                The bald-headed one had already been making his way upstairs.

                Violet took notice of this, and pointed her pistol at Olaf’s forehead, “Take that as a warning, you sick son of a _bitch_.” Her voice dripped with venom. Olaf looked at the teen with hateful eyes, clutching his shoulder.

                She ran out of the room, weaving past the hands of the white-faced women and the henchperson of indeterminate gender, racing up the stairs.

* * *

 

                Klaus and Sunny had automatically taken to hiding in the room’s closet, trying to keep quiet, hearing Violet’s shouting.

                They heard the door slam open as the bald-headed man stomped inside, scoping out the room.

                “ _THIS IS FOR THE TIME YOU CALLED ME ‘A PRETTY ONE’”_ The siblings soon heard Violet’s voice screech. They heard some tumbling, slicing of flesh, a gunshot or two, and then stomping feet.

                “Son of a BITCH he got AWAY.” Her voice came,

                “Come out of there.”

                Klaus opened the door, and the room was splattered with blood, red and fresh. His sister was covered in blood as well, the knife she held dripping.

                “What the fuck… did you just… do?” The boy cried, looking horrified.

                His elder sibling didn’t answer as she moved to the window, a car quickly pulling out from the drive, “FUCK me FUCK this FUCK, we HAD that _SON OF A BITCH-“_ Violet cried in exasperation, the cobra hissing angrily alongside her.

                Sunny growled angrily, “Mort!!! _MORT!!!_ ” she cried. Klaus double took Sunny as he stared at Violet with wide eyes.

                “Did you… what happened?” he asked slowly.

                “Monty is dead.” Violet spat, shaking with vigorous anger, “Olaf fucking killed him.”


	3. The Wicked Window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the death of their dear friend Monty, the Baudelaires make their way to a fierce and formidable woman, attempting to acquire some more help. Violet's lovely cobra is given a name, and some unforeseen events ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Arisa Bunni here. Welcome to another chapter of the B&V AU!  
> A playlist has been made for the AU:  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)  
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU, which I'll be working on again once the chapter for the mill has been released:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Some Violaf shippers have recently Kudos'd and commented on this fic, so I've had to unfortunately put the comments to modded. Violaf shippers are not welcome here, you're pedophile supporting freaks. Do Not Enter. ty uwu
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                 

                Jacquelyn wasn’t exactly _surprised_ , but she wasn’t _happy_ , either. She was quite utterly pissed, to say the least.

                “I managed to injure him, though.” Violet said into the walkie-talkie, pacing the reptile room that late night. The cobra lay on her shoulders comfortably, Klaus sat in one of the chairs in the middle of the room, laying back, staring blankly at the ceiling. Sunny sat on one of the tables with her arms crossed. Broken glass crunched underneath Violet’s shoes each time she walked, the dim light of some of the desk lamps lit the chilly room.

                They had half-ceremoniously dragged Monty’s body out to his garden and buried him in front of one of the snake-shaped bushes. Various reptiles and amphibians still sat out by the burial area, clearly mourning for their lost father.

                “How badly.” Jacquelyn’s voice snipped.

                “Shoved the knife about… halfway? Halfway into his shoulder.” Violet replied, trying to imagine the blade slicing into the pedophile’s shoulder. Klaus shuddered, “You… good God…”

                “Don’t worry about it.” She called back to her brother.

                “Halfway? Good enough. That should slow the bastard down. We’ll need to move to Josephine’s quickly. She’ll be able to supply you with some help.” Jacquelyn’s voice came through the device. Violet huffed, “Right – and let me guess, our parents knew Josephine as well?”

                “Precisely. They didn’t tell you all of this because… they didn’t want you to be involved with V.F.D.” Jacquelyn answered.

                “And why is that?”

                “Beatrice was… involved in… well, let’s just say she made some… mistakes. She didn’t want – hell,” Jacquelyn breathed, “So much for that, clearly.”

                “Clearly.” Violet said, looking to her siblings.

                “Anyways, rest there for the night. Olaf and his cronies will be heading to Josephine’s area; I’ll try to slow them down in any way that I can. I’ll be by in the morning with Jacques again. Contact me if you see or hear anything out of the ordinary.” Jacquelyn said.

                “Gotcha.”

                “…Rest well.” Jacquelyn said softly before the connection cut out.

                Violet felt herself smile slightly.

                Klaus looked at her, “What did she mean that mom was… _involved_ with something?”

                His elder sister shrugged, “She’ll probably tell us if we ask her about it, but priority number one is killing this son of a bitch.” She sighed, looking at herself, “I need to shove these clothes into the wash and shower… you should bathe, too.” She said, then quickly walking out of the room.

                “Wh- what about all this broken glass? And-“ Klaus sat up suddenly,

                “Buddy, just keep that door locked and we’ll be good. Besides, I’ve already slipped all those poisons into my room. I’ll look at which ones I want to keep in the morning. You read those books, right?”

                “Well… Yes… I did…” Klaus said slowly.

                “So you know which of those poisons are the most potent, correct?” Violet looked back to him, raising an eyebrow. Klaus blinked at her, “Yes.” He said simply.

                “Excellent.”

                Sunny then looked at Violet with bright eyes, “Name??” Looking at the cobra on Violet’s neck.

                Violet laughed,

                “I think… Vernal would be a good name.”

                The cobra nudged her cheek, clearly accepting its name.

* * *

 

                Violet lay in her bed, Vernal and Sunny snuggled up against her.  Klaus stared out the window from his own bed, trying to piece together the events of the past few days.

                It had all seemed… so unreal. His sister slowly becoming bloodthirsty, Jacquelyn revealing all of that information of their parents to them. The fact that they had to chase after a vile man who sought only death, destruction, and did only the most disgusting of deeds.

                He turned to look at his elder sister, who was sleeping soundly.

                How could she sleep so calmly at a time like this? How could she be so sure? What the hell was _happening?_

                It confused the boy all too much. Perhaps he would get answers soon.

* * *

 

                The Baudelaires were up and ready by the time Jacquelyn had arrived, along with Jacques’s cab. Each of them went to the place the Baudelaires had buried their dear friend, and for a while, they stood around it, Jacquelyn looking down angrily.

                “He didn’t hesitate, did he.” She half asked.

                “Nope.” Violet replied simply.

                Jacquelyn sneered.

                Klaus looked at the cobra on Violet’s shoulders, who was clearly very upset about Monty’s passing. The viper, who had its’ head lying on top of the burial mound, soon looked up at Sunny, who sat in Klaus’s hands. The two nodded at each other, and the viper slid off. Klaus double took as this happened, but brushed it off. Things were already wild enough.

                Jacquelyn turned suddenly,

                “it’s time to move.”

                “Right.” Violet said, emotionless.

                Klaus sighed as their things were once again piled into the cab, and off they went, to who knows where.

* * *

 

                The day was gray and cloudy as Jacques’s cab ambled up the cliffs to Josephine’s home on Lake Lachrymose. Violet had taken to staring off into the window, plotting who knows what, and Klaus fiddling with the edges of his coat. Sunny snoozed with Vernal, the two snuggled up in the middle of the elder siblings.

                “You still have those poisons, right?” Violet asked suddenly, still gazing blankly out the window.

                “Y-yeah? Why?” Klaus answered, remembering how they had gone over them and stuffed them into the backpack he had.

                “Just asking. Making sure.” Violet replied.

                Klaus felt himself shiver.

                They soon arrived at a rickety looking house, built dangerously on the edge of a cliff. Klaus raised an eyebrow,

                “That… can’t be safe.”

                “Josephine is a fierce and formidable woman. There’s a reason why she had her home built in such a dangerous place, in such a dangerous way.” Jacques glanced back, “Now, I’ll need to be going. I have some important business to attend to.

                “Right. Cool. Gotcha.” Violet said, opening the door and sliding out. Klaus pursed his lips as he grabbed Sunny (And Vernal, who had wrapped around her.), and exited the cab.

                They waved off the man, yet again, as the cab pulled away.

                Violet then turned and walked to the front door and knocked abruptly, “Aunt Josephine?” She called.

                The door cracked open, and a scared looking woman peeked out,

                “B-Baudelaires?”

                “Yes, that’s… that’s us?” Klaus said, raising an eyebrow.

                “Oh, yes, well, come in, but, please do be careful – you may trip on the doorframe and break your limbs.” She said, slowly opening the door.

                The siblings looked at each other in confusion before they entered.

* * *

 

                This woman turned out to be Aunt Josephine, and she was absolutely nuts. Apparently, after she lost her husband, Ike, to the Lachrymose Leeches, she became… more than a hypochondriac, to say the least. She even screeched when seeing Vernal.

                “This outta be fun.” Violet had said while Josephine had left the room momentarily. The woman had given them some _pleasant_ little gifts upon their arrival. Vernal hissed at the doll Violet was given.

                Sunny looked at the rattle that was gifted to her and started to gnaw on it. “Well, at least that’s good for something.” Klaus commented.

                “So much for ‘fierce and formidable.’” Violet mumbled, throwing the doll over her shoulder.

* * *

 

                “So, Josephine, Jacquelyn said you could help us.” Violet said, standing upright while placing her hands down on the table, looking into the woman’s eyes.

                Josephine had made them… cold cucumber soup to eat that afternoon. It wasn’t good, at all. Something about her not wanting to turn on the stove for fear of it “burning down the house” or some nonsense or another.

                “Y-yes, well, I’m no longer as fierce or… formidable as I used to be, unfortunately, since my husband Ike... died...” Josephine said, getting quieter near the end of her sentence, “ _Grammar_ is my greatest love, now.”

                “No shit.” Violet whispered.

                “Grammar?” Klaus raised an eyebrow.

                “Grammar!”

                Violet rolled her eyes, “Monty supplied us with poisons, you must have something you could give us.” She spat, getting right down to the point.

                “Violet, please, this shouldn’t be about what I can give you!” Josephine replied, shocked. Klaus sunk in his seat. “Absurde!” Sunny yelped, to which Josephine looked at her surprised, “Sunny, that isn’t grammatically correct.”

                “What our sister means is that you’re being thoroughly ridiculous.” Violet snapped, “We have a mission that we intend to follow through with, and you may have the means to help us… provided you want the Bastard Man dead, as well.”

                Josephine blinked at her, “Violet, you _must_ watch your language, and-“

                “Don’t care; you know what we’re here for.”

                Josephine flinched. She eyed the various weapons Violet had strapped to her person; a knife on sheathed on her arm, two pistols holstered on her hips. A cobra sat on her shoulders. Josephine decided this wasn’t a young girl to be trifled with.

                 She then got up from her seat and walked to the bookshelf on the right, sliding part of it over, revealing a safe.

                The Baudelaires watched as she did this, along with unlocking it, opening the door, and pulling out a large book.

                “This will have all the information you need.”

                She placed it in front of them.

                Klaus looked over the book.

_The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations._

                “Well, this is convenient as fuck.” Violet said, swinging open the books’ cover.

                “Please be careful with it – it’s old, and I’d hate to see anything happen to it.” Josephine said, clasping her hands together and staring at them with begging eyes. Violet rolled her eyes as Klaus nodded.

                “Now, I need to go to the market for supplies – hurricane Herman is on the way, and I mustn’t be underprepared for it.” Josephine said, hurrying off.

                “…A hurricane. Isn’t this a lake?” Klaus questioned.

                “Lake Lachrymose is a very _large_ lake, Klaus.”

                “I… see…”

                “I’ll be going, now. Please don’t turn on the stove, or the heater, or open any windows, or-“ Josephine rambled. Violet looked at her, “I’ll be going with you, then. No doubt _he’s_ planning on taking you out. Klaus, stay here with Sunny and do some reading.”

                Josephine scoffed, “I don’t need a bodyguard to simply go to the market, dear-“

                “Yes. You do.” Violet retorted, “There’s another pistol and some other knives in my satchel. Take care of yourselves.” She glanced back at her siblings. They nodded.

                “Well, alright, then. However, I’m sure nothing will happen in a market.” Josephine stated. Violet grumbled.

* * *

 

                The market had very little people in it. Many of the indoor stores were closed off, quite literally. Their windows and doors and been boarded up.

                “What’s with this shithole?” Violet said, plucking up a lime from the stall in front of her. Vernal was absolutely bored, lying across her shoulders, flicking its’ tongue at the air every so often.

                “Violet, _language,_ and it’s the off season, that’s why. Must I keep reminding you of hurricane Herman-?“ Josephine explained.

                “Gotcha.”

                Violet suddenly felt very uncomfortable, and placed the lime back, while Josephine ambled around, looking at various stalls. “Third eye’s snapped open.” Violet said to herself jokingly, shifting her eyes around. Vernal rose its’ head up, alert.

                A man with a sailor’s hat, an eye patch, and a peg-leg hobbled up to Josephine.

                “Well, surprise, surprise.” Violet said, putting her hands on her pistols, and walking briskly up to the two, now talking and laughing.

                “Violet, oh, there you are! This is Captain Sham!”

                “Nah it ain’t.” Violet said simply, looking “Sham” dead in the eyes. He merely smiled. She shivered in disgust. Josephine looked taken aback, “Violet, whatever do you mean?”

                “I don’t mean to alarm you, or the general public, but that’s Olaf.” Violet sneered. Josephine yelped at her, “ _Violet-_ “

                The teen then pulled out one of her pistols and pointed it at Olaf’s forehead in the blink of an eye, then kicking the peg-leg out from under him, causing the vile man to reveal his actual leg.

                A few gasps were heard around the market, and Josephine yelped, then going to hide behind Violet. Vernal hissed violently at the ugly man.

                “You’re slipping, fuckhead,” Violet said simply, “How’s that shoulder of yours? It’s been a couple of days.”

                Olaf growled, “You sniveling little _brat,_ I’ll fucking _break_ you-”

                “I know you’re not armed, which was a mistake on your part.” Violet kept the pistol pointed at him. She nodded her head back at Josephine, “Go back. Now. I’ll hold him off.”

                 Josephine didn’t waste any time in running off.

                Olaf then attempted to run after Josephine, to which Violet reacted by spinning around and kicking his legs out from under him.

                Olaf swore loudly as he toppled over, and the white faced women and the person of indeterminate gender quickly moved to Olaf.

                “See? Ya slipped.” Violet said. The white faced women tried to grab her, but she side stepped them, turning to sprint off in the direction of Josephine’s.

* * *

 

 _Priority number one,_ Violet thought to herself, _Make sure Josephine stays alive, and siblings are safe._

                She managed to catch up to Josephine, who had already hailed a cab. “Violet, I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you, but you didn’t have to act so violently-“

                “Yes, I did.” Violet snapped, “If I hadn’t of gotten rid of that peg leg, then you would’ve fallen for it.”

                “Perhaps I would have, but-“

                “ _But nothing.”_ Violet glared at her.

                The rest of the ride was spent in silence.

* * *

 

                Once they got to the house, hurricane Herman had already begun. The wind was heavy, threatening to blow them off the high, steep cliffs. “Cab man, stay here, we’ll be collecting some things and getting out of here.” Violet pointed to the driver. He merely nodded.

                “We’ll need to evacuate. A house like this definitely isn’t safe to stay in during a damn hurricane.” Violet said, opening the door. Josephine scoffed, “And where would we go?”

                Violet pulled out the walkie-talkie from her dress pocket and clicked it on, “Jacky.”

                Some harsh noise was heard before Jacquelyn’s voice came through,

                “Violent Violet. What’s going on?”

                “We’ve been compromised. The Bastard and his cronies are here. The house isn’t safe.” Violet replied quickly.

                “On it. Head to a restaurant back in town called the ‘Anxious Clown’. I’ll be there, soon. Stay safe. Remain vigilant.”

                Violet then shut the device off and returned it to her pocket. Josephine blinked at her, “That was Jacquelyn? Oh, I haven’t spoken to her in years-!”

                Violet walked quickly to the library where she knew her siblings were waiting, “You’ll be able to speak with her soon. Get only what’s important to you, this house definitely won’t be here when you get back.” She saw Klaus and Sunny on one of the couches, looking over the large book with great interest. “Alright, nerds, let’s get the fuck out of here.”

                Klaus glanced up at her, “Vi, you’re not going to _believe_ the stuff that’s in here! It’s…”

                “Wild as hell?” Violet suggested.

                “Something like that.” Klaus replied, getting up. He closed the book and slipped it into his backpack. Sunny looked at Violet with big eyes, “Bizarre.”

                By the time they had packed their things into the cab, the storm had become a formidable foe. “We’ll be lucky if we can even get down the damn road!” Violet yelled over the noise. Klaus quickly got into the cab with Sunny, and Violet handed them Vernal, “I don’t want you to get blown away, buddy – don’t look at me like that.” The cobra lowered its’ head sadly, “I’ll be in there in a second!”

                Another car had driven up near them, and Violet had only now just noticed it.

                “What the… fuck?”

                “What is it?” Klaus looked at her with a worried face.

                “Stay here. Don’t move. Lay low.” She said, shutting the door. Klaus suddenly felt a pang of nervousness. Vernal moved from Sunny’s lap, sliding up the door, and looked out the window.

                It hissed.

                The driver swore, “Control that snake, would you?”

                “It’s a cobra – Vernal, what do you see?” Klaus said. Vernal hissed again.

                “Shit. Shit shit shit shit _shit_.” Violet hissed, looking around and not seeing Josephine. She must have still been in the house. She ran over to the other car. Empty.

                “ _Oh for fuck’s sake-“_

                Violet then sprinted to the house, which was now already shaking against the violent winds. Thunder crashed.

                She flung open the door, “ _AUNT JOSEPHINE!?”_

 _“ **VIOLET DON’T-** “ _Josephine’s voice came, but was then suddenly muffled. Violet drew both of her pistols and walked towards the noise, shifting her eyes around quickly.

                “If you brought a knife… to a gun fight… you’re about to regret that… dirty old man…” She said slowly, walking toward the closed library door in front of her.

                A creak was heard from behind her.

                She whipped around and fired one of her pistols, causing the two white faced women to scream and duck down.

                “You two – and anyone else back there or up the steps… stay there. Or you won’t be alive to apologize.” She spat at them. The two women stayed huddled on the ground, nodding.

                “Good choice.” Violet said darkly.

                She then knocked on the door with her other pistol,

                “Open up, bitch. Your karma’s here…”

                “Oh, do come in, little Violet. Josephine is just… _dying_ to see you.” His voice came from inside. Violet sneered and kicked the door open, sliding to move her back to the inside wall. She pointed both pistols in front of her.

                Olaf held a bound Josephine before the wide window, her mouth muffled by some fabric.

                “I did in fact bring a knife to a gun fight, my sweet, but as you can see, I have the high ground.”

                Violet hissed darkly, “Don’t you _fucking_ dare call me those names you _sick fuck_.” She glared at him, “Another word like that and I’ll fucking _shoot your ass right here, **now let her go**_.”

                Olaf laughed, “If you shoot, I’ll throw her through the window. Simple.”

                Violet stood completely still, her heart pounding in her ears.

                “Allow me to strike a deal.”

                “No.”

                He chuckled again, “I’ll let her go. All you need to do is… surrender yourself to me. I’ll even let you keep those bratty siblings of yours.”

                Violet felt sick, “You’re fucking disgusting, fuck off, die.”

                This was quite the dilemma.

                His allies were right behind her, Josephine in his hands. He did indeed have the high ground.

                “Josephine? I’m sorry if I can’t save you, either.” Violet merely said. Josephine looked sorrowfully at her, but understood.

                “You did what you could… and I… did what I could.”

                Olaf raised one side of his brow, “The hell are you two on about?”

                Violet then fired off a shot towards Olaf, striking him in his other shoulder, which he reacted with a loud, violent scream.

                He kept his promise, then throwing Josephine through the window with a loud crash. She was noiseless. Olaf grabbed onto his shoulder, falling to his knees. The white faced women ran into the library towards him. Violet sprinted out towards the door, which was blocked by the bald-headed man. She reacted by side stepping him and going for the window beside it, crashing through it. She rolled onto the ground below her, shielding her face.

                Vernal hissed loudly and looked back at Klaus, who had scrambled to its’ side, looking out the window. Violet got up, staggered, and ran to the cab, swinging open the door. Vernal responded by jumping onto her shoulders.

                “ _Drive, now._ ” She called to the front. She slammed the door shut, Klaus looking at her in bewilderment.

                “Don’t tell me-“ He began.

                She picked a small piece of glass from her finger, laying her head back on the seat, “Josephine has been thrown to the leeches.”

                “L-leeches?”

                “It’s a saying.”

                Klaus felt something sink deeply into his gut, and he looked back at the swaying house, a few people running out of it.

                “What the fuck.” He said simply.

                Once again, the rest of the ride was spent in silence.

* * *

 

                “Welcome to the Anxious Clown! I’m Larry Your-Waiter.” A very nervous man had greeted them upon their arrival, and led them to the back kitchen of the restaurant.

                

                “Where’s… where is Josephine?” Larry asked, looking at the three siblings.

                “She’s, uh,” Klaus tried to find his words, “Not… here?”

                “Olaf” Sunny simply said.

                Violet remained quiet.

                “Do you have any medical supplies? I need to take care of my sister’s cuts.” Klaus looked at Larry, who was now looking more distraught than anxious. He blinked, “Right, yes, of course.”

                “Jacquelyn will be here soon, right?” The spectacled boy asked as Larry handed him a first-aid kit.

                “Yes, she will be. We will need to act fast, however. You could be found again.”

                Klaus nodded as he began to tend to his sister’s wounds. Sunny sat on the table in front of them, Vernal lying in her lap.

                “Thankfully it’s just some small cuts on your fingers and face, nothing bad.” Klaus said, surprised. She stayed silent.

                Larry went out into the dining room.

                “You’re not… blaming yourself for this… are you?” Klaus said, placing a band-aid on her finger.

                “No.”

                “Then… just… just talk to me. Please?”

                “We’re going to need more help.” Violet said simply. Klaus finished up his work and placed the kit on the table, “What do you mean?”

                “We need… we need a team of our own if we’re going to take this sick fuck down.”

                Sunny nodded. Vernal slid up to Violet and rested its’ head on her hand.

                Klaus looked at her perplexed, “And where are we going to find that?”

                “I don’t know.” Violet shrugged, looking utterly defeated.

* * *

 

                Jacquelyn arrived not long after, and the Baudelaires gave her the run down. She was close to snarling as she spoke, “We’ll need to find a place to lay low for a bit, get him off our trail. There’s a lumber mill nearby that’s been quietly fading off the map for a few years, now. You should be safe there.”

                “A wild assumption.” Violet said, her arms crossed, leaning against the wall of the dining room.

                “But it’ll have to do, for now, until we find a way to get you some help.”

                Klaus furrowed his brows, “Doesn’t this plan have some kinks in it?”

                “I’ll iron them out. People always listen to someone with a gun, Klaus.” Violet responded. Vernal poked her cheek in agreement.

                “…Right.” Klaus gave a worried look.

                “You’ve got him in both his shoulders, now. If that doesn’t slow him down, I don’t know what will.” Jacquelyn said, “I saw a truck for the lumber mill on the road into the woods. If you hop on the back of that and lay low, you’ll get there by sunrise.”

                “Good enough for me.” Violet said, standing upright. Klaus looked at Jacquelyn with some alarm, “You’re – you’re not coming with us?”

                “I need to be your eyes for this, Baudelaires. Finding some help is going to be hard.”

                 

                Klaus gave an irritated sigh.

                Violet had picked up her satchel and walked over to him, “Let’s get going, little brother.”

                He grumbled.

* * *

 

                The Baudelaires snuck out the back way of the Anxious Clown and to the truck Jacquelyn had told them about. Slipping into the back, they laid down. Violet put her finger to her lips at her siblings, who both replied with a nod.

                They heard the truck start a few minutes later, and off they went toward the rising smoke in the distance.

                Perhaps they would be able to escape Olaf for at least a little while.

* * *

 

BONUS DEAAAAL: Have some art I drew myself of this AU's Violet!

                

[My dA.](https://www.deviantart.com/arisaartisan)


	4. The Murderous Mill [1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacquelyn, needless to say, has officially joined the team! However, she'll be needing to go out and try to find some help, so the Baudelaires will have to try and find a way to lay low for a while, hiding from Olaf.  
> They come upon the Lucky Smells lumber mill, and it appears as though something very odd is going on...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arisa Bunni here, time for more B&V uwu
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU, which has been updated recently, and it's a pretty big update:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> as always, vi*laf shippers need to keep tf out. this is not where you belong. we don't support pedophiles or pedophile shippers.
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                The Baudelaires were shaken awake by some yelling.

_“Who the hell are you kids?? WHY DO YOU HAVE WEAPONS-“_

                Violet looked groggily at the source of the voice. The large man was looming over them from the side of the truck bed.

                “Chill out, my dude. We were just trying to hitch a ride.” She slurred.

                The man went on and on about something or another, but Violet couldn’t care less. She grabbed Sunny, Klaus trying to regain his consciousness completely.

                “Look, we’re on a mission, we can’t explain right now.” She yawned.

                The man was absolutely _not_ having it.

                Violet grumbled and pulled her knife out, pointing it at him. Sunny placed her hand on it, too.

                “You’re giving me a fucking headache.” She spat. A sleepy Sunny snarled. Vernal peeked out from Violet’s hair and hissed.

                The man immediately stopped complaining and raised his hands in front of him. Klaus slid off the truck bed and went over to his sister,

                “Please be careful, Vi. We’re already in enough trouble.”

                Violet rolled her eyes yet again, walking off. The man slid to the side of his truck, watching the three walk off.

                Klaus looked back at him, “Uh, don’t mind us, we’re… doing something important.” He winced. The man at the truck merely nodded slowly, his eyes wide.

                After all, this girl was strapped down with weapons, and had a _cobra_ on her.

                “Call the police and I’ll find you, dipshit.” Violet called back groggily.

* * *

 

                They wandered through the town and its burnt remains, looking around carefully.

                “Looks like another arsonist already got to this place.” Klaus said. Violet shrugged, “Fire must be a reoccurring thing in our lives.” Sunny was busy petting and playing with Vernal.

                “Fun, fun.” She commented snidely.  Klaus smirked for a second.

                They came upon a large gate with the Lucky Smells insignia on it.

                “This must be the place.” Violet said.

                “It’s probably locked.” Klaus inspected it, “Trespassers will be put to work?” He read a sign that was nailed to the gate.

                “We’re not trespassing, technically.” Violet said, Sunny nodded.

                The elder Baudelaire kicked at the left door nonchalantly, and it swung open. “Locked my ass.” She snickered.

                “Alright, I was thinking of knocking or something, but brute force works, too.” Klaus shrugged.

                The Baudelaires walked in quickly, looking around at the stacks of flattened wood. Vernal had currently settled around Sunny’s shoulders, laying its head on her’s.

                “What… what are we supposed to say?” Klaus asked, looking at his elder sister worriedly.

                “I gave it some thought on the ride here, just keep your mouth shut unless I look at you to agree.” Violet replied. Klaus gave a nervous nod.

                Violet glanced around, “Is anybody even _here?_ ” She called out. Klaus nudged her, implying this wasn’t exactly a good idea.

                Suddenly, a tall, nervous looking man approached them from behind a stack of wood, causing Klaus to jump.

                “Ah, hello! I thought you were trespassers – turns out you’re just children! I’m Charles.” He greeted, looking at them with confused eyes.

                “We’re more than just children, actually. We were sent to investigate this place. Apparently there have been some strange goings-on.” Violet immediately said, to which Klaus nodded. “Farfelu.” Sunny commented.

                Charles raised an eyebrow, “Strange goings-on? I don’t know-“

                Violet cut him off, “We have a mission, and we intend to go through with it. If you’d like to lead us to whoever owns the place at the current time, that would be splendid.”

                Klaus double took her.

                “Ah, right, yes, of course.” Charles stuttered, “This way, please.”

* * *

 

                The man led them to a warm office, and a man with silvering hair sat at a large, oak desk, smoking a rather large cigar.

                “S-Sir?” Charles said as he opened the door and entered, “There are some… people here to see you?”

                The man whipped around in his chair to look upon the Baudelaires and scoffed, “These are kids, Charles, why are you bringing me _children?”_

                Charles was about to speak when Violet waved him off,

                “We’re detectives sent to investigate this place. Name’s Violet “Violent” Baudelaire.” Violet said, placing a hand on one of her pistol holsters. Sunny poked at the knife Violet had sheathed to her arm.

                “Baudelaire…” The man said, ignoring her obvious threats, “I knew your parents.”

                “Y-you did-?” Klaus asked suddenly. Violet raised an eyebrow, “Do tell.”

                “Yeah, in fact, they’re the ones that burned down the town!”

                Klaus suddenly looked upset.

                Violet furrowed her brows,

                “That’s exactly why we’re here, old man. To clear our parents name and further investigate this place. We’ll be needing a place to stay, unless you feel so inclined as to defy our superior’s orders…” she said, tightening her grip on her pistol. Sunny glared and clutched the knife’s handle.

                Her icy stare bore through the cigar smoking man.

                He cleared his throat, Charles shuffled off to the side.

                “I don’t want any trouble, _Baudelaire,_ but I’ll let you three stay in a spare room we’ve got. Just… don’t pull anything on me.” The man said, raising his hands, glaring at Violet.

                Violet smirked, “Of course. As long as you cooperate, we won’t have to call our superiors.”

                Charles nodded, fearful.

                “What’s your name, by the way?” Klaus piped up.

                “Everyone just calls me Sir.”

                Violet almost let out a snort of laughter, but withheld it.

                “Right, gotcha.” Klaus replied.

                Sir looked from the Baudelaires to Charles, “Lead these _detectives_ to their room, why don’t you.”

                “Of course, Sir!”

* * *

 

                The room wasn’t exactly the best, but it’d do. It was stuffed with boxes, but a single, large, dusty bed was present.

                “This’ll do.” Violet said, placing Sunny onto the bed, Vernal sliding off the baby and onto the blankets. It looked displeased with the amount of dust present.

                “Vernal, don’t be picky. You chose to come with us.” Violet raised an eyebrow at her cobra. It merely flicked its tongue at her, but didn’t object.

                “What are you expecting to do here?” Klaus asked, looking at his sister, “You’ve threatened so many people already, and like… three in the last hour? What if someone calls the police-?”

                “Do you _really_ think somebody would call the fucking police in this universe?” Violet snapped at her brother.

                He fell quiet.

                She cackled, “Exactly.”

                She set her satchel down on the bed beside Sunny, Klaus slid off his backpack slowly.

                “I guess while we’re here, we should do something about Sir thinking our parents burnt down the town.” Klaus spoke up.

                “Clearly.” Violet snipped venomously.

                “A… good place to start would be the library.” Klaus spoke up.

                “There’s a library in this bitch?” Violet looked at him with a smirk. “Well, yeah, I saw a sign beside some closed doors across from Sir’s office.” Klaus replied.

                “Alright, wild. There’s a start. We can’t exactly question Sir since he seems to believe it actually happened.” Violet said, looking through her satchel.

                “We also have to find out _why_ he thinks that.” Klaus said, pulling out the book Josephine had given them from his backpack.

                “Exactly.” Violet pointed at him, eyeing the book. Sunny clapped her hands, “Sournois!”

                “Exactly, sunshine, we’ve gotta be sneaky about it.” Violet winked. The baby giggled. Vernal looked tired.

                “Don’t worry, Vern, you’ll get your chance to bite a motherfucker, I’m sure.” Violet said, patting Vernal’s head. The cobra licked at her hand.

* * *

 

                The Baudelaires unpacked their things and went back to Sir’s building, approaching the door of the library. The door to Sir’s office was currently closed.

                “Alright, let’s bust this bitch wide open.” Violet said, sliding the door aside. Sunny babbled happily in Klaus’s arms.

                Something odd was immediate to the three of them; the library was filled with the same book, from top to bottom.

                “Ok. That’s a good start.” Klaus commented.

                “A hilariously good start.” Violet said, going to one of the shelves on the back wall. Klaus set Sunny on the table in the middle of the room and slid the door shut. “Aide?” Sunny asked, watching Klaus go to the right wall of books.

                “You can help by watching the door, sweetie.” Violet said sweetly. Sunny nodded and placed her little hands on her little knees, looking at the door.

                “Why do you think nutjob has this many of the same book?” Violet asked, pulling out a couple of them and placing them on the table behind her. Klaus took out one and opened it in his arms, looking carefully at the table of contents, finding the chapter about the fire, and flipping the pages.

                “…This is why.”

                He then went over to her, displaying the marked out words after ‘The Baudelaires were unequivocally responsible’.

                “What the fuck.” Violet squinted. She then did the same as him with the books she removed, only to find the same paragraph marked out. “ _What the fuck?_ ”

                “Why do you think he did this?” Klaus asked, throwing the book onto the table angrily. Sunny turned her head slightly, “Chercher.” She chirped.

                “You’re right, Sun. There’s gotta be at least _one_ book in the motherfucker that hasn’t been marked to shit, yet.” Violet huffed, “We’ll tear the place apart ‘til we find a book that _isn’t_ marked out.” Klaus nodded.

                The two began to pull more books, search for one that wasn’t defaced.

                Until finally, Violet found one.

                “Oh shit-“ She said aloud.

                “What?”

                “We’ve struck gold, book boy.”

                “Ogh, excellent.” Klaus gave a sigh of relief.

                But before they could actually read it –

                “Intrus!!” Sunny yelped, watching the door open. Klaus felt his body go stiff, and Violet merely rolled her eyes, “We’re doing detective work, old man, don’t get pissed that we’re going through your shit-“

                “I think you’d need a search warrant for such things, children.” An older woman with a shiny cane and pointed glasses stepped into the room. Violet inspected the woman suspiciously, “I’m sure it wouldn’t matter much – Who’re you?”

                Klaus snatched up Sunny and moved closer to Violet.

                “Why, I’m Doctor Orwell, of course! I’m the lumber mill’s optometrist.” She smiled. Violet could see right through her.

                “Interesting. Didn’t think a mill would have an on-site eye doc.” The elder Baudelaire noted.

                “Well, it’s good for business. You’d be surprised at how often the workers need their… eyes checked.” Orwell said slyly.

                Klaus gulped.

                “You, boy,” Orwell said, pointing her cane at Klaus all of sudden, “How long has it been since your last eye exam, hm? Those glasses look a tad old.”

                “I-well-“ Klaus started.

                “He’s fine, no worries. It was recent. Our superiors took care of that a while back.” Violet answered for him.

                Orwell raised her eyebrows, “Your ‘superiors’? And who might those be?”

                “Strictly confidential info, _ma’am_.” Violet spat.

                “Ah, I see. Well! Sir just wanted me to welcome you to Lucky Smells – isn’t that right?” Orwell said, motioning behind her.

                Sir walked in, “Right, yes, well, I heard some shuffling and I knew somethin’ screwy was goin’ on.” The man then walked over to the unmarked book on the table, ripped out the page, and stuffed it into his jacket,

                “Yo, what the fuck, that’s detective property, now, big man.” Violet snapped at him.

                “Unless you have a search warrant, I don’t want to hear any of it.” Sir grumbled, walking back into his office.

                “Sir, sir! Your omelet is ready!” Charles said somewhere down the hall.

                Orwell slid the library door shut behind her, “What did I tell you?”

                Violet clenched her jaw. _Control yourself, Vi._

                “Well, boy, you’ll have to come see me some time, hm? Don’t want those peepers to go unchecked!” She smiled. Klaus merely stared at her. Sunny glared at her.

                Violet was nearly shaking with rage.

                Orwell then left.

* * *

 

                Violet had stormed out Of Sir’s quarters, Klaus following behind, Sunny babbling angrily in his arms.

                “V-Violet, slow down, let me catch up, Vi!” Klaus said, toddling after her.

                Violet then stopped suddenly and whipped around to her brother,

                “ _Did you fucking see that shit?_ We could have had all this shit figured out, but _no,_ he’s actually trying to hide the truth. And I think that _bitch_ of a woman is behind it all.” She spat venom.

                Klaus looked at her with worried eyes, “Father always did say to never trust optimists or… optometrists.”

                “Is that why you locked up like that?”

                “Y-yes…”

                Violet sighed, “I’m sorry, buddy. We really need to fix this, though. I imagine the workers think our parents did it, as well.”

                “But Violet, I’m scared. Orwell reminds me of Olaf, and-“

                “And that’s exactly why we need to fix this.” Violet attempted gentle words. The mere mention of the man’s name made her blood boil.

                Klaus gave an exasperated sigh.

                Violet then began to walk away, again, “There’s gotta be something around here. We could go talk to the mill workers, but I don’t feel like taking attitude from a bunch of brainwashed idiots.”

                Klaus followed behind her once again, but Sunny suddenly pointed a little finger, “Œil!”

                “A what?” Violet looked up to where her sister was pointing.

                The building in front of them had a large eye, like the one on Olaf’s ankle.

                “Well fucking shit.” Violet raised an eyebrow, “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

                Klaus walked up beside her, “I’m not going in there. You go. I’ll – I’ll watch Sunny and keep lookout for you.”

                “Buddy, for all we know, Bitchwell is prolly already in there. I’ll need backup.” Violet said, “I’ll need some more supplies, and Vernal. Come on. Let’s get back to the room.”

                “ _You’re actually going to go in there!?_ ”

                “Of course, dear little brother of mine. Plan your work, work your plan. We’ll be performing a little… break in tomorrow.” She whispered back to him.

                Klaus felt a rush of anxiety run through him, Sunny clapped her hands excitedly. He shook his head and followed Violet back to their “room”.

* * *

 

                Klaus sat on the edge of the dusty bed the following morning, Sunny gnawing at a small piece of wood she found. Violet was busy cleaning her pistols and inspecting the poisons.

                “We grabbed some really nice stuff, bud.” Violet said, nudging him with one of the bottles, “I’m surprised none of these have broken yet.” She then snorted, picking up another bottle,

                “Oh, hey, Vern, this is yours!” Violet said, showing the cobra a small jar that had the label “Laced Cobra” on it. Vernal poked it with its nose and wiggled happily. Violet giggled, “Yeah, dat you!” Sunny laughed.

                Klaus smiled slightly. _We’re still… we’re still kids._ He then looked down at his hands, his face fell.

_Why do we have to go through this?_

                Violet snapped him out of his thoughts, poking him in the shoulder with her finger, “I’m gonna go get cleaned up, I’ll let you know when I get out, then you can go, mmk? You watch our stuff, little dude.” She then smiled. Klaus tried his best fake smile and nodded.

                “Aw, come on, Klaus. We’ll be in and out of there before you know it. Take inventory of the poisons or somethin.” She placed a hand on his head.

                “Yeah, sure.”

                She then left the room, and Vernal slithered over to Sunny, resting its head in her lap. She placed a greeting hand on its head.

                Klaus sighed. He then put up their supplies, hiding them within some boxes, then flopped back down on the bed.

                He put an arm over his face.

                “I really don’t want to do this, Sunny.”

                “Clair.” Sunny replied simply.

                “I _know_ you guys want to clear mother and father’s names, I just, well, I don’t think it’s a good idea to be… well… yknow… busting into the place of a woman who has such. Similar energies to Olaf.” Klaus mumbled.

                Sunny shrugged, “Nécessaire.” Which meant “We’re doing what’s necessary, brother.”

* * *

 

                Violet was inspecting her face in the bathroom’s foggy mirror when she heard Sunny squealing in terror. Her eyes grew wide as she looked from her reflection to the door.

                “ _Shit.”_

                She pulled her hair up, threw on her boots, and dashed out of the bathroom, down the hall, and toward the storage room.

                The door was wide open, and the room was a mess. Boxes toppled over, some even spilled out of the room.

                “ _Shit, fuck,_ nonono-“

                She raced to the doorway, kicking boxes out of the way,

                “Sunny!? _KLAUS!?”_ She shouted.

                Suddenly, she heard a small noise from under a box nearby.

                “Aide!!”

                Violet flicked her view to the source of the noise, “Sunny, oh my God.” She moved some other boxes out of the way before lifting up one –

                “Violet!!!” She cried, waving her hands around. Vernal was curled up in her lap, hissing incessantly.

                “Are you two ok?” Violet said, kneeling down and hugging the two. She then quickly pulled back and sat upright, looking about the small, dusty room –

 

                “ ** _Where’s Klaus?_** ”


	5. The Murderous Mill [2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mill proved to be something of an odd circumstance, yet again another connection to their parents. After Violet discovers her parents are being blamed for the town's destruction, she vows to clear their name while they're staying there.  
> However, this proves to be a difficult quest.  
> Especially when her brother goes missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hewwo it's arisa bunni. time for more fun times yeethaw
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes:  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> beGONE vi*laf bastards. no pedos allowed. uwu
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                Sunny had shown where Klaus hid their supplies. “Smart motherfucker.” Violet had said, “Too bad he was stupid enough to get catnapped.”

                Now she, Sunny, and Vernal were strapped up and moving to the one place that Violet was _very_ sure her dear brother was being held captive:

                The building with the eye window.

                Violet held Sunny in her right arm, Vernal hung around the elder Baudelaire’s shoulders. Two knives were strapped to her arms in their sheaths, two pistols in their holsters on her hips. She stalked quickly, silently, and angrily towards the building, glaring heavily at the eye window where she knew Orwell lurked.

                “Vite.” Sunny snipped angrily, which meant something along the lines of _“We need to move quickly. Klaus could be in grave danger.”_

                Violet scoffed, “Real shit?” Sunny stuck her tongue out, and Vernal poked Violet in the cheek.

                “Right, focus, task at hand. Gotcha.” She quickly spat out.

                The door to the optometrists’ office was locked, unsurprisingly. Violet rolled her eyes, “Thought so.” She set down Sunny and drew a bobby pin from her pocket, “Good thing I thought ahead. Damn.” She muttered, fiddling with the lock.

                It took some doing, but the lock eventually gave in to the stubborn teen, and she silently opened the door, plucked up Sunny, and slid inside.

                “Can I trust you two to remain quiet..?” Violet glanced down at the cobra and the babe. Sunny crossed her little arms, “Évidemment.” Vernal nodded.

                “Good.”

                Violet inspected the waiting room, noticing a set of stairs leading upward, “Ogh, excellent.” She said, “We can trash the place, later. For now, let’s get Klaus the _fuck_ out of here.” Sunny nodded sternly.

                As they quickly ascended the steps, they heard voices –

                “I don’t know _why_ you intended on _hypnotizing_ the stupid little bookworm. He’s useless to us. The eldest one is the one I – _we_ want.” Olaf’s voice came.

                Violet gritted her teeth in anger, “ _How in the hell and **fuck** is he here already!?” _She hissed in fury, Vernal raising its’ head in anger. Sunny growled.

                “I _thought_ it would help to strike fear into that other little brat’s heart, _clearly._ ” Orwell snapped.

                “There’s no use in that – she’s like a steal trap. Little bitch is as smart as she is pretty…” The vile man’s voice came. Violet fumed, feeling sick to her stomach.

                The three entered the room, moving along the wall carefully, and Violet eyed her struggling brother. He was strapped to the eye doctor’s chair, tape covered his mouth, but he was clearly trying to let out a swear or two.

                Violet’s eyes widened as she began to move faster, trying to coordinate her feet to the best of her ability.

                However, she managed to kick at a lamp nearby. She silently swore and Sunny clasped her hands over her mouth in fright. They quickly hid behind a nearby bookshelf.

                The two wicked adults looked in the direction of the noise, “What was that noise..?” Olaf spoke.

                “Nobody, I’m sure.” Orwell spat, turning her attention back to her tray of various weapons.

                “If there’s nobody here… then what… was that noise..?” Olaf glared. He began to walk over to where the three were hiding, causing Violet to bite her lip and move along the bookcase, farther away from the pedophile’s prying eyes.

                Olaf peered around the lamp, then to the back of the bookcase…

                To find it all clear.

                He raised an eyebrow and turned back to Orwell, “I _suppose_ you were right.” He called out to nobody in particular…

                “What did I tell you? Now, where were we?” Orwell said, picking up a dagger, to which Klaus squirmed in anger, pulling at his restraints. “Now, boy, don’t struggle. There’s no use in it. Besides, you’ll get bruises. Those won’t look nice on your pale, lifeless body, I’m sure.” Orwell chuckled. Klaus glared harshly at the woman, and Olaf laughed.

                “’Tis a shame to see such a bright young lad fall like this. Killing you will be a delight, my dear boy.” Olaf laughed, leaning close to the young boy’s face, who sneered at the putrid smell of his breath.

                Violet was now hidden closer to where Klaus was being held. Far too close. Sunny was clearly _very_ upset, nearly shaking in anger. “Control yourself, Sun.” Violet hissed to her younger sister. Vernal peeked its head from their hiding place, staring down the lanky, abhorred man.

                “Sun, please,” Violet whispered to Sunny as the little babe looked at Vernal, who then turned back to them.

                The two nodded to each other.

                Things were quiet for a few moments before –

                “ ** _SUNNY- VER-“_** Violet called out.

                The two lunged from their hiding place, Sunny barreling towards Olaf, then latching onto his leg with her teeth, digging deeply into his flesh. Olaf let out a scream, looking down at the baby in great anger. Vernal had leapt onto Orwell, biting into her shoulder, causing her to screech out in pain.

                Violet raised her eyebrows. She fell from feeling fear to being impressed, watching as the two sharp-toothed beings dug their fangs into the vile villains.

                She took to this as a pleasant distraction, and leapt from the spot to her brother, who was currently surprised at seeing the scene unfold before him. She ripped the tape from his mouth and freed him from his bindings, “Violet, oh my God, what the fucking hell-“

                “Don’t mention it, buddy.” Violet replied sarcastically, pulling her guns from their holsters and backing up, “Run, get the fuck out of here, I’ll hold them off-“

                “No.”

                “ _What?”_

_“No.”_

                Klaus stared her down sternly, then taking a knife from one of her arm sheaths,

                “I’m fucking tired of running. I’m tired of it.” He spat, pointing the blade at the struggling Olaf and Orwell, “ _I’m going to fight back.”_

                Violet raised her eyebrows in surprise, “What about-“

                “He deserves to die at whatever cost. I don’t care anymore.” Klaus’s voice was thick with venom.

                Olaf glared at them as he tried to pry Sunny off of his leg. Orwell threw Vernal from her neck to the chair where Klaus once sat, and ran out in a panic. Klaus then took off after her.

                Violet ran over to Sunny, grabbed her, and spat “Release.” To which Sunny did as such. She ran off after her brother. Olaf fell to the floor in pain, blood spilling from his wound.

* * *

 

                Orwell ran into the mill, the workers doing their usual routine for the day. She looked around wildly.

                The Baudelaires ran in after her,

                “ _YOUR BULLSHIT ENDS HERE, ORWELL.”_ Klaus screamed over the noise, pointing the knife at her. Orwell sneered,

                “You won’t DARE use that on me, you meek little shit.”

                Klaus clenched his teeth, tilted his head back, and gave her a hard glare. Violet put a bloody-faced Sunny down, and pointed her pistols at the woman,

                “Vernal’s poison will soon set in, bitch. Your end is nigh. Admit it.”

                Orwell laughed, “You’re so willing to kill, just like your parents.” The elder Baudelaires felt something boil within their veins.

                By now, the workers had stopped what they were doing to survey the confrontation, utterly terrified.

                “Wow! Work _and_ a show!? This place has gotten better!” A very optimistic voice came from the back.

                “ _OUR PARENTS DIDN’T KILL ANYONE.”_ Violet screeched as Klaus drew ever closer to Orwell. The only noise they heard, now, was the loud screech of a saw nearby. Klaus glanced from Orwell to it and back.

                Orwell smirked, clutching at Vernal’s puncture wounds, “Oh, of course. What’s another crime amongst the others in this mill? _What’s another to the list?”_

                “ ** _OUR PARENTS DIDN’T START THAT FIRE-“_** Violet screeched, Klaus glaring harshly at Orwell.

                And at that moment, the workers in the mill suddenly looked very angry.

                “Where… where am I..?” A jovial looking man asked, looking around confused.

                “We… we’re free…” Said another older looking man.

                Some shouts were heard, and the group of workers started to rush out in a frenzy. Orwell glared at the children ahead of her as they crowded around them and out the door, “You little _SHIT_ you did that on _PURPOSE.”_

                Violet shrugged, “No idea what you're on about, woman.” Orwell glared down at the girl before hitting a button on the top of her cane, a sharp blade jutting out of the end, “ _This is where it ends, girl.”_

                Violet raised her eyebrows, “Nah.” She simply said. She glanced down at Sunny, who had begun to growl,

                “Sick ‘em, Sun.”

                Sunny then lunged at Orwell, biting down on the blade. Orwell gaped at the sharp-toothed child, “You’ve gotta be _fucking kidding me-“_

                Sunny then tore the blade out of the cane, tightened her jaw, and shattered it. Orwell looked on in abject fear.

                Klaus took this as an opportunity to run forward and stab Orwell in the side of her head, causing her to let out a shrill scream. He then grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and threw her into the saw blade nearby, blood splattering all over him.

                The Baudelaires quickly looked away as they heard her guttural, anguished screams.

* * *

 

                Violet and Klaus walked out of the mill, Sunny in Violet’s arms. Things were oddly quiet.

                They silently returned to Sir’s office building, which had been ransacked. Sir was nowhere to be found.

                “Ah, shit, they got here before we could.” Violet said, only half joking. Klaus rolled his eyes, “That page Sir ripped must be around here somewhere.”

                “Right.” Violet said, placing Sunny onto a chair nearby, “…Good job by the way.”

                Klaus double took her, “What?”

                “On Orwell. Thought I’d do it, but you definitely did a number on her.” His elder sister replied, smiling.

                “…I was just doing what was necessary.“ Klaus looked at her, shrugging.

                “And what was necessary got the fuckin’ job done.” She said back.

                Klaus cleared his throat.

                “ _Hello?”_ A weak voice called from somewhere within the room.

                “The hell-?” Violet said, looking toward the voice.

                “ _Baudelaires? Is that you..?”_

                “Placard” Sunny spoke up from her seat, inspecting her bloody clothes.

                Violet raised her eyebrow at the closet behind Sir’s desk. She moved quickly and opened it.

                “Charles!?”

                “Oh, thank goodness! It _is_ you! I’d taken to hiding in here while poor Sir got dragged out by those angry workers. Seems they’d been hypnotized.” The scared man said while clambering out of the closet. “Real shit?” Violet spat sarcastically. Charles nodded his head sadly, but then noticed the bloody Sunny and Klaus,

                “What in the _world_ – Dear GOD Baudelaires-!” Violet waved him off, “We didn’t kill anyone of any importance to you.”

                Charles blinked quickly, “Whatever do you-“

                “Orwell’s dead. You're welcome.” Violet bowed sarcastically. Charles swallowed hard, “I… Alright then.”

                Violet then rolled her eyes, “Anyways…”

                “Olaf.” Sunny hissed.

                “Right… him.” Violet made a vomiting motion, making her younger sister laugh.

                “I’ll go check for him. Give me one of your guns.” Klaus spat, holding a hand out, “I still have one of your knives.”

                “You don’t even know how to use it.” Violet snickered, crossing her arms.

                “I’ve read enough books and manuals about guns. Give me a pistol.” He dismissed her. He waved his fingers at her.

                “For _fuck’s_ sake, _fine._ ” The elder Baudelaire rolled her eyes and slapped a pistol into his hand. He saluted her and headed out.

                “In the mean time, let’s try to find that page.” Violet said, continuing to look around.

                “The page? To Sir’s book?” Charles piped up.

                “…Yeah?” Violet raised an eyebrow at him.

                “The unmarked one?” Charles asked again.

                Violet rolled her eyes and threw up her hands, “ _Yes!?”_

                “I managed to get it out from the fireplace before Sir could burn it!” Charles grinned, digging around in his coat pocket before producing a semi-burnt piece of paper.

                Violet squealed in delight, “Charles, you fucking genius!” She plucked it up from his fingers, reading the familiar words of the marked books, and the reassuring proof of the unmarked words after. She sighed happily, “I fucking _knew_ they didn’t do it! What an asshole, hiding shit like this just to keep this garbage mill running.” Charles nodded, a tad upset about the whole ordeal.

                “I suppose it’s time for me to move on, though. Oh, I’ll miss this place…” The man said, looking around sorrowfully.

                “Hey, we still gotta wait for some all-clear from our “superiors”, we could use your company, if you don’t mind.” Violet suggested. Charles looked at her nervously, “I don’t know…” The girl laughed sarcastically, “We’re not gonna kill you, we just need to make sure you’re safe from Bastard Man.”

                Charles wrung his hands, “That Olaf man?”

                “Yeah, he’s bad news. Trust me.” She then looked at Sunny, “You and Klaus are going to need to get cleaned up big time.” Sunny laughed. Charles merely smiled awkwardly.

                “He’s disappeared.” Klaus reentered again, “I saw a trail of blood go from the eye building to the far wall. He’s gone.”

                “Well, fucking shit. Rat went back to hide in his hole.” Violet sneered, “His shitty lackeys must’ve grabbed him and ran.” The littlest Baudelaire snarled in anger.

                “We’ll get him, I’m sure of it.” Klaus said darkly. Violet gave him a proud look, then took the walkie-talkie out of her dress pocket. She made the usual call to Jacquelyn.

* * *

 

                Jacquelyn was highly irritated that Olaf had shown up again, but then was delighted to hear that they’d injured him further, which would greatly slow him down. She even congratulated Klaus for taking care of Orwell, “I would have done it myself if Olaf hadn’t proved to be such a troublesome piece of shit, but you’ve proven to be quite the fighters.” Violet nudged Klaus happily. “Thank you, Jacquelyn.” The boy piped up.

                “Please, just call me Jacky.” The woman replied. Sunny babbled happily.

                “I’ll be by in a few days. I _may_ have found what you need.” Jacquelyn spoke up again. “Excellent. We’ll hold down the fort ‘til then.” Violet said.

                Now, the Baudelaires were resting in Sir’s room, Violet cleaning the weapons and checking on their supplies. Klaus and Sunny got cleaned up, and Charles aided in washing their clothing.

                 Klaus inspected the various poisons, “If I can get my hands on some syringes, then I could definitely use these.” The spectacled boy said, already plotting.

                “I’m sure Jacky can do that, unless where we’re going next has some good shit we can use.” Violet replied, holding her knife to the lamp light to inspect it. “Possible.” Klaus said.

                “I have a pleasant feeling about our next destination, little brother.” The elder Baudelaire said, packing up their weapons.

                “Let’s just hope that feeling of yours’ is right.” Klaus commented.


	6. An Insidious Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the brutal murder of Doctor Orwell by Klaus, the Baudelaires discover their parents saved the town rather than scorched it, thankfully.  
> However, Olaf escapes, once again. This does not bode well, but Violet will need some help in taking he and his troupe down, anyhow, so the Baudelaires will need to find some formidable allies.
> 
> For now, we see some other things unfold...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GAAAAYYYMERRRRSSS, happy pride month, and welcome to a small interlude chapter before TAA.
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes:  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Pedophile shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/
> 
> Note: Character portraits + themes for the Quagmires & Carm won't be added til they officially join the team. uwu

                 

                Olaf lay in a shabby looking old bed, absolutely distressed beyond belief, as he should be. The white-faced women tried their best to tend to his wounds, while the hook-handed man looked nervously out the window. The bald-headed man and the person of indeterminate gender sat quietly in the corner of the room.

                “ _Gah, FUCK!_ Be CAREFUL-“ The vile man shrieked as one of the women poked at his leg wounds with an alcohol-soaked cotton ball. “Our apologies, Olaf.” She replied, “We’re only trying to help.” Said her sister. He sneered, gritting his teeth.

                Just then, the door to the dark, dilapidated room swung open, revealing two tall, terrifying figures.

                Olaf glared up at the door, only to shrink in fear.

                “Olaf, pleasant to see you, again.” Said a woman with hair and no beard.

                “I didn’t think we’d see you again so soon.” Said a man with a beard and no hair.

                The white-faced women had immediately stopped their work to look up at the two figures towering over them.

                “I-W-well-“ Olaf stuttered, “I had to call _someone_ , these _children_ have proved to be very… _annoying_.” He tried to sneer, looking up at them.

                The two laughed in unison.

                “It’s deplorable how you can’t take care of three children.” The man said, “All you had to do was bring them to us, and yet again you’ve failed.” The woman raised her eyebrows.

                “I suppose one of these days your lack of skill and self-discipline will be your undoing.” The man gestured at him, “And you calling on us for ‘backup’ seems to be a sign of weakness, Olaf.” The woman finished.

                Olaf looked angrily at them, “ _That’s only because these damn kids are smarter and more bloodthirsty than I could have ever THOUGHT!”_

                The gruesome twosome looked down at him. “Now, now, Olaf,” Said the woman, “No need to act so childish.” The man replied.

                The hook-handed man continued to stare out the window, while the bald-headed man and person of indeterminate gender stole glances of the scene from the corner of their eyes.

                The white-faced women eventually continued to try and doctor the bastard’s wounds.

                “Shot in both shoulders by the young lady?” The man smiled.

                “Bitten in the leg by a baby?” The woman chuckled.

                Olaf felt shameful, "Well, actually, she stabbed me in one and-"

                “Your failures beside, we shall provide you aid to take down these children and their allies within two months time.” The woman spoke up. The man nodded, “That should give you some time to heal those ridiculous wounds of yours’.”

 _“Two months!?”_ Olaf spat.

                They looked down at him.

                “I… I s-suppose that will-that will do…” He said meekly.

                “Excellent.” Said the man, “Now, we have plans of our own that we must enact,” “Good day, _Olaf.”_ The woman said. They then turned and left the room, slamming the door shut behind them.

                The white-faced women had wrapped his leg up, and were now checking on his shoulders.

                “ _Furnaces of HELL.”_ The disgusting man spat.

* * *

 

                Two teens sat on a bench in front of a vice principal’s office. Both similar looking, though one was a boy, and another a girl. The boy seemed nervous, twiddling his fingers. The girl had a black face mask over her nose and mouth, and sat silently, staring off into the distance.

                “Isa-“ The boy started, “What do you think Vice Principal Nero wants now..?”

                The girl looked at him, rolled her eyes, and pulled down the mask slightly, “Something ridiculous, I’m sure.” She turned her head toward the door, listening to his awful violin playing,

                “As long as the red-haired she-witch doesn’t tip-tap upon us, we should be fine.” She finished.

                The boy sighed deeply, “I hope it’s about getting out of that shack-“

                “Duncan, we’re not getting out of that fucking shack. Face it.” The girl looked at him sternly.

                “Isadora-“ Duncan replied desperately.

                Isadora shook her head and pulled her face mask back up.

                Duncan looked down at his school uniform pants with pathetic eyes.

                Just then, a tall, auburn-haired women with dangerous looking heels and a leather jacket rounded the corner of the hallway, and quickly walked up to the door. She glanced over at them, and immediately went inside the office.

                The two teens raised an eyebrow at each other after she had left. They heard Nero shout, but then things quickly fell quiet.

                They watched the door carefully, and after what seemed like forever, Nero opened the door, “P-please, children, come inside.”

                Duncan and Isadora gave each other a confused look before standing up and making their way inside.

* * *

 

                “Miss J-Jacquelyn has come to tell me that she will sign the necessary papers to allow you to live in a dorm.” Nero was sweating nervously, padding at his face with a towel. Jacquelyn sat on the edge of his desk, her legs and arms crossed,

                “Yes. I was sent to make sure you two were safe and sound.” The woman replied simply.

                “…Thank you?” Duncan piped up, confused. Isadora raised an eyebrow.

                “Also, you will have some roommates. Girl-“ Nero started. Jacquelyn gave him a hard glare. He swallowed, “ _Isadora,_ you will have two other female students rooming with you soon, and _Duncan,_ you will have two other male students rooming with you as well.”

                Four other students? What did this mean?

                Well, at least they would be in a dorm instead of that shitty orphan shack.

                Whoever this woman was, she was clearly some kind of heaven-sent angel.

                “…” Isadora looked at Jacquelyn carefully. Duncan cleared his throat, “Th-thank you, Miss Jacquelyn-“

                “Please, just call me Jacky.” Jacquelyn said abruptly, “All of my closest associates do.”

                Duncan closed his mouth and merely nodded.

                Isadora looked from Jacquelyn to Nero and back.

                First, their home burning down and losing their parents and brother, then being sent to this abhorred school, and now this?

                Something odd was definitely afoot.

* * *

 

                The dorms definitely weren’t bad, but they weren’t exactly _perfect,_ either, especially for such a shitty, run-down school such as this. But, at least they were clean, devoid of crabs and fungus, and properly lighted and heated.

                For now, Isadora and Duncan had a dorm each of their own. It was deafeningly quiet for Duncan, so he’d take to going to Isadora’s whenever he could.

                “Who do you think our roommates will be?” Duncan asked his sister, who was currently sitting at her desk and scribbling away at her commonplace book.

                While she was only with her brother in a private setting, her face mask was always pulled down, “Whoever they are, I hope they stay low on my radar.” The girl said sarcastically.

                “I hope they’re not mean.” Duncan said, fiddling with the edge of his coat.

                “If anyone is mean to you, Duncan, I’ll see to it that they’re harmed.” Isadora replied. Duncan smiled.

                It was silent for a while, the only sound heard was Isadora’s pencil scratching away at the paper.

                “I miss Quigley.” Duncan said quietly.

                Isadora stopped writing for a moment,

                “I do, too.”

                She gently closed the journal,

                “Though, I have a feeling.”

                “… What do you mean?” Duncan asked, looking up at her.

                She shrugged without turning to him, “Something tells me this won’t be the only surprise we’ll be getting, just a gut feeling.”

                Duncan opened his mouth to reply, but closed it.

                “It’s getting late. You should get back to your dorm. Sleep.” Isadora noted. Duncan nodded and got up. The siblings hugged and said their goodnights before Duncan headed out.

* * *

                Jacquelyn stood outside the school's gate as Jacques rolled up in his cab. He quickly stepped out, "Jacquelyn." He nodded.

                The woman nodded back, and walked over to him, "Any word on the surviving Quagmire triplet?" She asked, getting straight to the point.

                "Absolutely, Larry said he'd scour the tunnels for the boy. He should find him, soon, if the boy hasn't made his way out, yet. I'll keep a look out for him. We'll bring him here ASAP." Jacques replied quickly. Jacquelyn nodded, "Excellent. These kids are our only hope of taking down that vile man."

                "I do feel sorry for Orwell, however." Jacques noted. Jacquelyn waved him off, "Don't be. She used her abilities for evil. She ended up helping the bastard. She made her bed, she was eventually going to end up lying in it. Dead."

                The man simply nodded.

                "Anywhom, be ready to retrieve the Baudelaires from the mill in a week's time. I'll be on lookout at this place. I saw a beau- _interesting_ person in the library. I'll be speaking with her on how this school works as of now." Jacquelyn cleared her throat.

                Jacques smiled, "Of course. Stay safe, Jacquelyn."

                Jacquelyn nodded, "I'll try my best."

 


	7. The Anomalous Academy [1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fiendish plot unfolds, while elsewhere the Baudelaires finally begin their attendance at a far from ordinary school, and meet some far from ordinary friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the first part of TAA! This'll be tons of fun. :^)c
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes:  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> vi*laf shippers shall be shot on sight, no exceptions. uwu
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/
> 
> Note: Character portraits + themes for the Quagmires & Carm won't be added til they officially join the team. uwu

                

                A week had passed before Jacquelyn showed up with Jacques and his cab again.

                The Baudelaires had spent the week planning, double checking their supplies, and talking with Charles within the now desolate and quiet mill. The police and some reporters had arrived once, but didn’t find anything thanks to Klaus’s idea of burning any remnants of Orwell’s body, as well as each of them cleaning up any blood or other bits of evidence. Charles was especially knowledgeable on cleaning out blood-stains. The Baudelaires hid out somewhere in the mill while the less-than-competent police did their search, eventually coming up dry.

                Charles had proved to be a kind and caring man, especially after hearing the Baudelaire’s tale so far. He didn’t exactly agree with their plot of ending Olaf’s life, but he could tell he wouldn’t be able to change their minds. “All pedophiles must die.” Violet simply said once, and Klaus merely silently nodded, Sunny (once again.) clapping her little hands.

                Charles was sad to see the three go, especially since he had to leave now, as well. Violet told him to be careful, and Klaus thanked him for all his help. Sunny had become weepy-eyed upon realizing that they would have to leave Charles behind.

                Now, the Baudelaires sat inside the cab on the way to their next destination, Jacquelyn riding shot-gun.

                Klaus cleared his throat in the silence,

                “Where are we going, exactly?”

                “Prufrock Preparatory School,” Jacquelyn replied, “The school itself is a nightmare, but I’m sure you’ll find ways to make it a brighter place, certainly. It’s also the perfect place to lie low, for now.”

                “…How is this place a nightmare, exactly?” Violet spat, Vernal sleeping on her shoulders. Sunny grumbled.

                “The vice principal is a massive pushover, abusive as well. The rules are horribly strict, and generally, it’s…” Jacquelyn spoke quickly,

                “An absolute dumpster fire.” Jacques finished, “My brother and… a few friends of ours went there for a while. Back then, though, it was… a tad better.”

                Jacquelyn eyed him.

                “It still wasn’t exactly amazing back then, either.” He cleared his throat.

                “Amazing. Guess we’ll have to deal with that.” Violet sneered.

                Jacquelyn chuckled, “However, I visited the place and… _spoke_ with the vice principal. He was happy to give you dorms, rather than stick you in the… ‘ _orphan’s shack’_.” She spoke, digging out the school’s brochure from her bag and handing it to the back seat.

                Klaus took it slowly, showing his sisters.

                The orphan’s shack definitely didn’t look like a fun time, but the dorms looked splendid. Surely they wouldn’t have as a hard a time as Jacquelyn and Jacques were suggesting.

                Violet shook her head quickly, then looked at the rear-view mirror, “Did you manage to find us some help? And how long are we going to have to stay in this hell hole?”

                “There are some others like you who are in the very same situation.” Jacquelyn started,

                “House burned down? Orphans?” Klaus asked.

                “Precisely.”

                Violet raised an eyebrow, “Hopefully they won’t object to our… little plan.”

                “They won’t, I’m sure.” Jacquelyn replied.

                Violet cocked her head to the side in interest and confusion. Klaus merely blinked, glancing at his sisters. Sunny was smiling, baring her teeth.

* * *

 

                They arrived at the gloomy-looking boarding school, Jacquelyn helping them get their things. She handed them some uniforms and lead them to the vice principal’s office.

                “What… happened to the principal?” Asked Klaus as he set Sunny down on the bench in front of the door.

                “I actually have no idea.” Jacquelyn replied, raising an eyebrow at the door, “Apparently he disappeared a long time ago.”

                “Not important.” Violet spoke up, Vernal poked its head out of one of her bags to survey the surrounding area, “Vern, get back in there – _Don’t look at me like that.”_ She hissed. Vernal merely flicked its tongue at her in playful defiance before slipping back into the bag. Sunny giggle at the cobra, “Serpent sournois!”

                The little babe had grown during their adventure so far, and was now nearing toddler size. She was able to walk on her own, now.

                “Wait here on the bench, I will be nearby at all times, don’t worry. I need to keep a look-out for any… unexpected visitors.” Jacquelyn said, lowering her voice on the last two words. The elder Baudelaires nodded at her, then taking a seat on the cold, hard bench. The woman then quickly walked away.

                “…Should we change into these uniforms?” Klaus asked, looking down at the scratchy, uncomfortable looking items.

                “Ffffuck nah, bud. Not until we actually _have_ to.” Violet snickered, “Besides, these shits are ugly as all fuck.” Sunny nodded, blowing raspberries at the dark maroon and gray outfits. Klaus shrugged.

                Suddenly, a short, red-haired girl in a frilly pink dress tapped up to them,

                “Hello, cakesniffers!”

                Violet immediately felt annoyed by this small girl,

                “Hi.” She said dismissively.

                The girl’s smiling face bore into Violet, “I’m Carmelita, the sweetest, most cutest, precious-est, most WONDERFUL girl in the entire school, and I’m here to give you a tour!”

                “I’m sure we can find our way around ourselves, sweetheart.” Violet’s voice gently dripped with venom. Klaus snorted.

                Carmelita stomped her little foot, letting out a sharp _tap,_ “LISTEN you _cakesniffer,_ you’re supposed to listen to me and follow my EVERY order-!”

                “You sound abundantly pleasant, miss Carma, but we’re waiting to meet with the vice principal, and I’d rather not keep the man waiting.” Violet forced a fake smile. Klaus and Sunny were both trying desperately not to laugh.

                Carmelita crossed her arms and glared down at the brown haired girl, “ _I’m_ Vice Principal Nero’s most _favorite_ student so you WILL listen to me-“

                “Most favorite student, eh?” Violet eyed her suddenly, “He tell you how cute you are and whatnot?”

                “ _Of course, you cakesniffer!”_

                Violet cringed, throwing a look at her brother, who had immediately stopped snickering to look at Carmelita in surprise.

                “You know that doesn’t sound… _right,_ right?” Violet continued.

                “What do YOU know!?” Carmelita stomped her little foot again.

                Violet stood up and walked over to Carmelita, towering over her,

                “Trust me, _I know plenty.”_ She said darkly.

                Carmelita immediately fell silent. Things were deathly quiet for a moment, save for the terrible violin playing in the background.

                She then quickly turned on her heel and clicked off.

                Violet then sat back down beside her siblings.

                “Damn.” Sunny said aloud. Klaus raised and lowered his eyebrows, “Yikes.”

                “After I get a good look of this dude, I’m going to give her the run-down.” Violet said carefully, glaring down the door, “Because this definitely does NOT sound gucci.”

                “Definitely not.” Klaus replied, crossing his arms and leaning back against the hard bench.

* * *

 

                After a while, the door opened, and a sweaty looking man holding a violin stepped outside the doorway. He looked disgusting, to say the least – his hair was wild and matted, and if you got near him, you would probably smell _some_ kind of funk.

                And that they did. Eugh.

                He nervously invited them inside upon seeing them, clearly knowing Jacquelyn was around any corner.

                He _and_ his office smelled something off, and the elder Baudelaires tried not to scrunch up their faces in disgust. Sunny did this without hesitation, however.

                “H-hello, Baudelaires, and welcome to Prufrock Prep.” He fiddled with a towel, shakily wiping his face, “I am Vice Principal Nero. I humbly welcome you to our institution. You will be rooming with some other… _orphans_ in some pleasant little dorms.” He then handed them some papers, and the same brochure Jacquelyn had given them, “Those will have all the information you need.”

                Violet looked carefully at the stapled packet, and Klaus looked carefully around the office, noticing how much of a disgraceful mess it was. Sunny was covering her nose at this point.

                “Now,” The dirty looking man said, “There is a mandatory violin performance in the auditorium every night starting immediately after dinner. If you miss it, you will be required to buy me a bag of candy and watch me eat it.” He rambled on.

                Violet bit the inside of her cheek. She reached her hand into her dress pocket.

                “Also, if you are late to class, your hands will be tied behind your back during meals and you must lean down and eat your food like a _dog_.” He gave a disturbing, devious smile, “If you are late to lunch, your cups will be taken away. If you go to the administrative building without an appointment, you will be forced to eat your meals without silverware.” He continued to give this ugly beam to the three Baudelaires.

                “And if we don’t bother to follow these rules?” Violet asked loudly. Klaus glanced at her.

                “Did you not hear what I just said, _girl?”_ Nero spat, spitting all over himself. Sunny made a vomiting motion. Klaus squinted at the man in defiance.

                “I did, and so did somebody else.” Violet smirked.

                Some loud, heeled footsteps were heard outside the door, causing Nero to wince, realizing what he’d done.

                Jacquelyn then threw the door open.

                “Evening, Nero. I thought we spoke of this the other day.” She said simply, walking over to the Baudelaires and crossing her arms. She stared the sweaty man down.

                He pursed his lips. Jacquelyn raised an eyebrow.

                “R-right, yes, Miss-Miss Jacquelyn,” He stuttered suddenly, “I apologize, these children don’t deserve such harsh rules.”

                “Precisely. I remember telling you to revise those wicked and ridiculous rules, correct?” Jacquelyn nearly spat.

                The man nodded quickly, shakily putting a hand on his desk to steady himself. Violet snorted, and Klaus smirked. Sunny was giggling.

                “I will be here. Watching. Don’t treat the students at this school like livestock, _Nero_. These children are here to make our sorry future brighter. We’re not to pull them down by their ankles to a hopeless abyss of depression and anxiety.” Jacquelyn spoke carefully, glaring at the shivering, unkempt man.

                “O-of course.” Nero said quietly.

                Jacquelyn smiled.

                She then turned to the Baudelaires, placing a comforting hand on Violet’s shoulder, “if you need me, I will be in the library.” They each nodded.

                Nero looked down at the floor, angry and defeated.

* * *

 

                After their time in “Nasty Bastard Man’s” office was done (as Violet decided to call him.), they made their way to their new dorms, half dreading meeting their new roommates. Jacquelyn had given them a handy little map of the place, in which Klaus and Violet were a tad confused of, since neither of them were exactly _good_ with directions. Also, the buildings all looked exactly the same. All gray. All slightly dilapidated on the outside.

                They found their dorms, eventually, however. They wandered inside and found their room numbers, which were right next to each other. Violet and Klaus knocked on their respective doors, but only one of them opened – Violet’s.

                A long brown-haired girl with a black face mask opened the door, a similar looking boy with shorter hair poking his head over her shoulder from behind. They were wearing some comfortable looking pajamas.

                “…” The girl’s eyes looked them over carefully. She moved to the side.

                “S-sorry, about my sister! Hi, hello! I’m Duncan Quagmire, and this is Isadora-“ Duncan introduced himself nervously, “Please, come inside, it’s nicer in the rooms, really!”

                Violet smiled gently, “Thank you.” The Baudelaires moved quickly inside and set their things by one of the large oak desks up against the wall, “I’m Violet Baudelaire, and these are my siblings, Klaus and Sunny.” She motioned to them respectively.

                The room was indeed nice, better than what the Baudelaires were used to. The dusty chandelier that graced the ceiling was dim, but allowed for enough light to read in. The curtains were thick, and drawn shut. Two large beds, two large, oak desks, and dressers with vanities sat on either side of the room. Isadora had picked the right side. It was slightly unkempt, but in a sweet way. At the end of each bed was a large storage chest.

                Isadora looked Violet up and down.

                Duncan looked nervously at Klaus, “Ahmn, anyways, hi! Welcome! This is Isadora’s dorm, mine is right next door. I promise I’m a super good roomie, Klaus.” The boy fiddled with his hands.

                Klaus smiled and nodded, suddenly feeling calmer than he’s felt in a while, “Thanks, I appreciate that.” He laughed. Duncan looked around, “Nero said I’d be rooming with two other boys, but I only see one?”

                Klaus shrugged, “Maybe they’re coming later? I don’t know.”

                Duncan looked down at the floor for a brief moment.

                Isadora finally pulled down her face mask, “You seem like a nice girl, Violet.” Her face was slightly flushed. Violet grinned sneakily, “I try to be.”

                Violet went over to her bags, while Isadora went back to her desk, sitting backwards in her chair.

                “Now, don’t be alarmed, and don’t tell anyone, but… well, I have a pet.” Violet said quickly, falling off slightly near the end of her sentence, carrying one of her bags to the left bed, unzipping it.

                “Oh, a pet? We won’t tell, honest-!” Duncan started. Isadora raised her eyebrows.

                Vernal slid out of the bag, yawned, and laid down on the bed, stretching itself out. Duncan let out a small yelp, and Isadora straightened up in her seat.

                “I-i-is that… a c-cobra!?” Duncan stuttered, clearly a tad terrified.

                “Fucking wicked.” Isadora said suddenly.

                Violet smiled, “Indeed it is. Their name is Vernal.” Isadora got up from her chair and walked over to them, “For rebirth and spring, I sense a wonderful fling.” She spoke, and sat down next to the cobra, who rose its’ head sleepily at the teen. It looked at her for a moment before flicking its’ tongue happily at her.

                “I think they like you, Isa.” Violet said, putting her hands on her hips, smirking down at the Laced Cobra. It flopped its head back down, “You must be a pretty good bitch if they like you.”

                “I try to be.” Isadora remarked, causing Violet to giggle at her.

* * *

 

                Duncan helped Klaus with his things to their room next door, and the Baudelaires eventually settled into their new home. Sunny happily snuggled into she and Violet’s bed, which was surprisingly comfy for what it was.

                “I’ll unpack the rest of my shit, tomorrow.” Violet said suddenly, remembering what she was actually here for. She went to flick the switch to the chandelier off.

                “Do so, quickly, the rules here are prickly.” Isadora spoke, placing her face mask on the bedside table before stretching.

                “I doubt we’ll have to worry about that for long. We have a friend named Jacquelyn. She scares the shit out of Nero; She’ll be staying around.” Violet smirked. She flipped the switch, and the room went dark.

                “Jacquelyn?” Isadora asked, turning on the dim lamp on her bedside table and sliding into her own bed.

                “Yep.” Violet replied. Isadora blinked, “Does she tote glocks and have auburn locks?”

                “…Yeah, actually. You meet her, before?” Violet asked, hopping into her own bed, causing Sunny to be launched up slightly. The little toddler giggled.

                “Yes, actually. She’s the one who helped us get out of the orphan’s shack.” Isadora replied.

                Violet raised her eyebrows, “Incredible. She told us you had a similar situation to us.”

                Isadora furrowed her brows, “Whatever do you mean?”

                “House burned down, parents inside it.” Violet spoke nonchalantly.

                Isadora fell quiet for a moment, "We also lost our brother, Quigley." Violet paused, then simply said, "I'm sorry."

                "It's... fine." Isadora replied, "Though I find it odd how we're in such a... similar situation.

                “It is super weird, I know. I’ll talk to you more about it tomorrow, babe.” Violet said, lying down.

                Isadora felt herself blush fiercely and the sudden pet name, laying down quickly.

                They both were silent for a while.

                “Hey, what’s with the face mask by the way, if you don’t mind asking?” Violet piped up.

                “Personal aesthetic choice.” Isadora replied.

                “Exquisite.” Sunny replied tiredly, Vernal resting at the small girl’s head. The two teens laughed quietly.

                “Goodnight, Miss Baudelaire.” Isadora joked.

                “Goodnight, Miss Quagmire.” Violet joked back.


	8. The Anomalous Academy [2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Baudelaires start their first day at Prufrock Prep with their newest allies and friends, the Quagmires. What sort of trouble can they get in, now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to continue the mayhem !
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> vi*laf shippers shall be shot on sight, no exceptions. uwu
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/
> 
> Note: Character portraits + themes for the Quagmires & Carm won't be added til they officially join the team. uwu

                

                “Morning, ya’ll.” Klaus yawned as he and Duncan were let in by Isadora the next morning. Violet waved at the two as they entered, currently trying to pull a small uniform sweater over an objecting Sunny. Vernal watched them with a bored air.

                “So what classes do you have?” Duncan asked the Baudelaires.

                “Well, I have a class with Isadora, and Vi has a class with Duncan. I didn’t see anything on the schedules about Sunny, so I’m assuming we’ll be leaving her here..?” Klaus rattled off, looking at his sister.

                Violet squinted at him, “I’m not going to leave either of you alone after what happened at the mill. You’ll be taking her with you, Klaus.”

                “At… the mill?” Duncan questioned.

                “Understandable. There’s no preschool here, or anything, so it’ll have to do.” Klaus shrugged. Sunny huffed, irritated.

                “…The mill?” Isadora parroted her brother.

                “Right, the mill. Before we came here, we were at a place called Lucky Smells lumber mill. Klaus got kidnapped when I left him alone, so needless to say, I’m not doing that kind of shit again.” Violet spat.

                “But Olaf isn’t here, and I’m pretty sure we can all defend ourselves at this point, Vi.” Klaus said, “Especially with what Sunny did.”

                Violet scoffed, “I’m not taking any chances-“

                “You’ll have to when the time comes, sis.” Klaus furrowed his brows.

                She fell silent.

                The two triplets had been watching the siblings argue back and forth like a tennis match.

                Isadora blinked, “And… what did Sunny do?”

                “Tell you what, we’ll tell you everything you need to know during lunch. How’s about that?” Violet commented.

                “Good enough for me.” Duncan said.

                “Now come on, we need to get going. I want to see what this hell hole is all about.” Violet rolled her eyes, “Seeya, Vern.” The cobra flicked its tail at her.

* * *

                 Their classes were possibly the most boring thing they’d ever have to deal with in their entire lives.

                Duncan and Violet were stuck in the same class as Carmelita Spats with a teacher who droned on and on about nothing helpful at all: anecdotes about his own life. Mr. Remora was his name, and he started the class by announcing Violet’s presence,

                “I’d like to welcome our newest orphan to the class,” He said in a monotone voice. Everyone in the classroom turned back to Violet, who raised a somewhat threatening eyebrow at them. Some of the students’ faces fell frightened and turned back, while others merely blinked at her in surprise before turning away. Duncan chuckled softly at the student’s reactions.

                Carmelita sat behind Violet, and saw the student’s reactions. Something was definitely off with the girl in front of her, and she was going to find out _what_. She kicked at Violet’s chair after Mr. Remora began to tell a tale about some socks he lost. Violet gripped her pencil. Duncan merely cleared his throat as if to say,

_Don’t let her bug you._

                Oh, she wouldn’t let Carmelita _bug_ her at all. In fact, Violet was going to make sure that she wouldn’t do it ever again. Granted, she didn’t want to interrupt the “class”, so it would have to wait.

                A couple of other students kept stealing glances at the bored-eyed Violet, who was currently laying her head on her hand, and doodling on a scrap piece of paper.

                Isadora and Klaus had Mrs. Bass, an odd woman who only made them measure various objects and write down their measurements.

                She introduced Klaus in the same way Mr. Remora introduced Violet, to which Klaus gave a bored look to the glances of the other students in the class. Sunny sat on a stack of books in the back, gnawing on the edge of one of them. Klaus merely waved a half-dismissive hand at them, leaning back in his chair.

 _“And I thought the masked-orphan was weird…”_ Muttered one student. Isadora rolled her eyes.

                Sunny bore her teeth, giving a mocking smile to the students. Many of the students were shocked at the sharp-toothed toddler, and quickly turned away. Klaus and Isadora both smirked.

* * *

                 “You think if the other students are afraid of us, we’ll be left alone?” Violet wondered, only _slightly_ kidding. Isadora pulled down her mask slightly and laughed, “I mean, they already fear me, so why not?”

                Violet blinked at her, “Ok, queen.” She laughed. Isadora stuck out her tongue at her, then pulling the mask back up.

                They were walking down the hallway towards the cafeteria, students stealing various looks at the bunch, most of them of which were a mixture of confusion and fear.

                Klaus rolled his eyes, “I don’t think putting fear into the hearts of the other students is our endgame goal, here, guys.” Sunny nodded in his arms, “Kill!” Klaus slapped a hand over Sunny’s mouth.

                Duncan double-took Sunny, and looked at Klaus, “Wh-what exactly is going on with you guys, by the way?”

                “Certain details can only be told in private, so during lunch we’ll just give you the too long, didn’t read version.” Violet said quietly, adjusting her satchel. Isadora raised her eyebrows.

                “...Whatever you say.” Duncan said nervously.

                The cafeteria was the same as every other area in the school - dull, gray, dreary, boring - the list could go on.

                “I’ll warn you,” Duncan said, “The food here is sub-par, but at least it’s edible.” Violet shrugged, “I’m hungry enough that I’ll eat anything.”

                “And... the apples taste like horseradish.” Duncan noted. Isadora nodded. Violet raised an eyebrow at him.

                They entered the lunch line, but a sudden Carmelita then cut directly in front of Violet.

                The elder Baudelaire looked disdainfully down at the red head, “And what are you doing, little red?”

                “Nobody said you could cut-” Klaus began. Carmelita cut him off,

                “I’m not a _cakesniffer_ so I get to go before everyone else!” She chirped, “Isn’t that right, lunch man?” She looked directly at the man serving the cafeteria food.

                The Baudelaires then looked before them, to which they saw a familiar face.

                “Oh, Larry!” Violet smiled, “I see you’ve made it here.” Klaus looked at the man confused, “What’re you doing here?”

                Carmelita glared at them, “It’s no surprise that some stupid orphans would be friends with a stinky lunch man-”

                “He’s not… _stinky_ at all, little red.” Violet snorted at her.

                “Well, hello, yes! I’m Larry, Your-Waiter. I’ve been doing some work of my own. I’m sure you’ll be filled in on it later. Now - mac’n’cheese?” Larry offered. Violet smiled, “Of course, Larry.” Klaus smiled, “Thank you, Larry. Good luck on whatever it is you’re helping with.”

                Carmelita huffed.

                The group got their food and walked around the red head, who promptly stepped out to the front of them, “Now you _listen_ to me, you _cakesniffing orphans!_ ” She raised her voice. The cafeteria became quiet,

                “Wuh oh.” Duncan muttered.

                “I’m not going to be IGNORED and BELITTLED by a bunch of STUPID ORPHANS who live in a SHACK!” She fumed. She then smiled,

                “ _CAKESNIFFING ORPHANS IN THE ORPHAN SHACK!”_ Carmelita began to chant, to which the rest of the cafeteria started to join. Isadora glared heavily at Carmelita, and Klaus rolled his eyes in exasperation.

                As this happened, Violet slowly stepped up to Carmelita, and loomed over her, staring down at her,

                “Carmelita Spats.” Violet said loudly, causing some of the chanting to stop, “We don’t inhabit a shack at all, my dear little sweetheart, in fact, we had a guardian sign the necessary papers to enter the dorms!” She gave a sickening grin to the girl, who had slowly stopped chanting upon Violet’s speaking.

                “I don’t think many people here take kindly to your… behavior.” Violet continued.

                She then leaned down face-to-face with the scared looking girl, the cafeteria was dead quiet. Someone dropped a piece of silverware. “ _Wuh oh.”_ Isadora softly said from behind her mask, her eyes glittering giddily.

                “Miss Spats,” Violet squinted, her eyes boring into Carmelita’s, who was now nearly shivering, “ _You have no_ **_fucking_ ** _idea what you’re up against.”_

                The cafeteria then had a collective, silent response of “Oh… shit…”.

                “ _Damn, ok!”_ A voice came, causing some agreeable laughter.

                Carmelita slowly stepped back, her face nearly expressionless and harshly flushed, looking up at a darkly smiling Violet. She then turned on her heel and stormed out of the cafeteria. Violet straightened herself, turned to the others,

                “Anyways, let’s have a chat. I’ll speak with little red another time”

                Isadora lowered her mask, blushing furiously, mouth hanging open. Sunny started clapping and giggling. “Violet!” Klaus laughed out loud. Duncan snorted.

                The rest of the cafeteria continued on with their conversations, mostly about whatever the _fuck_ just happened.

                There might be a new Queen of the school, it seemed.

                And she was definitely one to fear.

* * *

                 The rest of lunch was mostly Violet and Klaus re-telling their story so far, leaving out the more _murderous_ parts for later, and whatever of what was sketchy was whispered.

                Isadora and Duncan were suddenly on-board for whatever the hell this was. It was wild. Crazy, even. Isadora loved it. Duncan suddenly had a lot to write about.

                “So you said Jacquelyn is in the library, right?” Duncan asked, currently scribbling away in his commonplace book.

                “Yepperoo.” Violet answered, “Which reminds me, we should _probably_ go see her.”

                “Definitely. We’ll need to tell her that you guys want to help us.” Klaus said, poking at his green beans.

                “I’m a bit nervous about… doing this but… clearly it’s for a good cause, right?” Duncan whispered. Isadora nodded quickly, looking to Violet.

                “A _very_ good cause _.”_ Violet grinned, stabbing her fork into the hard meatloaf on her tray.

* * *

                 The group “finished” their food and made their way to the library. Violet swung open the doors and they all entered, looking around the dusty-looking, dimly lit library.

                “Jacky?” Violet called out, to which a small voice called out, “Hello? Oh, hold on, hold on-!”

                “That’s definitely not Jacquelyn.” Klaus mumbled. Violet bit the inside of her cheek.

                Then, a woman with dark hair tied into a tight bun on her head, thick horn-rimmed glasses, and a pencil skirt appeared from behind a bookcase with a stack of books in her hands. She looked like a pleasant woman, and walked quickly over to one of the tables, dropping the books onto it.

                “Jacquelyn told me you’d be coming sooner or later - I’m Olivia, the librarian.” She said, greeting the children, “I’m here to help you.”

                “Where _is_ Jacquelyn, by the way?” Violet asked carefully.

                “Oh! She went to go find someone in the V.F.D.’s tunnels.” She said nonchalantly.

                Klaus raised his eyebrows, “Right, the ones we read about in the book, Sunny!” He looked down at Sunny, nodded up at him, “V.F.D.!”

                “Oh, yeah, the book! You’ve gotta let me see the book you mentioned later, Klaus.” Duncan spoke up. “Oh, absolutely.” Klaus agreed.

                “Right… the cult thing. Forgot about that. Almost.” Violet cleared her throat, “Anyways, when will she be back?”

                “Soon, I do hope. She’s a splendid lady.” Olivia giggled. Violet raised her eyebrows, “Well alrighty.”

                Olivia covered her mouth slightly, trying to contain herself, sitting down at the desk. She motioned them over, “Please, sit! We got a lot to talk about.”

                The children exchanged surprised looks, going over to sit down.

* * *

                 “So… you’re going to help Jacquelyn _train_ us?” Klaus asked, leaning over in his seat.

                “Yes, of course! there’s a lot of empty land around here - perfect for practicing with weapons.” Olivia replied, “You can even choose what weapon you’d feel most comfortable with. Jacquelyn left some more supplies with me-”

                “Hopefully the Quagmires _also_ get some new outfits. They’ll need them.” Violet interrupted. Olivia nodded, “Of course! What’s a hardy group of vigilantes without some coordinated outfits, yes?”

                Isadora nodded vigorously. Duncan looked from Olivia, to his sister, and back, “I guess..?”

                Olivia gave a jovial grin, “Excellent. Let’s get those for you, and we’ll begin your training as soon as Jacquelyn comes back. Don’t try to cause too much havoc, now, miss Violet. Jacquelyn’s told me about that.”

                Violet snorted.

                “She’s right, you know.” Klaus pointed an accusatory finger at his elder sister. She glared at him, and the others laughed.

* * *

                Olivia had lead them to her office room in the back of the library, which was filled with various succulents and other cute little plants, “It’s a hobby of mine - sorry for the mess!” She said, embarrassed. Violet brushed her off, saying it was nice seeing such a lively room among the dead, gray dullness that was the school itself.

                Jacquelyn had left some duffel bags filled with various clothing, to which the group gladly dug through.

                Isadora was glad to find some more face masks, and a nice, pale colored pair of jeans. She tore some holes in them for the sake of aesthetic.

                Duncan found a nice, loose hoodie, and a comfortable looking scarf.

                “It suits you, Duncan.” Klaus complimented the boy. Duncan replied by laughing softly and turning away, a soft blush gracing his face.

                “Quit bein’ gay ‘n’ focus, you two.” Violet joked. The two boys double took her. “Sh-shut up, what-” Duncan stuttered. Isadora laughed.

                They continued to dig through the bags, finding other various frightening accessories and the like.

                Klaus later looked at Olivia while the others were still looking through the various clothing and accessories, “Olivia, could I ask you something?”

                Olivia looked up from some of her files, “Of course, Klaus! What is it?”

                “Do you think you could ask Jacquelyn to find something that… holds poisons?” Klaus asked carefully, “Like… uh, a syringe or something..?”

                Olivia smiled, “I’ll speak with Jacquelyn when she returns. She may find something for you. Have you taken an interest in toxins?” Olivia wondered.

                Klaus nodded, “Yes, actually, I read up on some poisons… a while back. We actually have some in our arsenal.”

                “Oh, excellent! I know a few things about those myself - I might be able to help you on that.” Olivia smiled deviously. Klaus returned a grin.

                “Ey, let’s get back to our dorms and get you guys to try on those new outfits, yeah?” Violet stood at the head of the library, her hands on her hips.

                “Fuck yeah.” Isadora simply said, holding a pile of goods in her arms.

                “...Let’s… put it all in a bag or two.” Klaus commented, “We don’t want to drop anything… or scare anyone.” Isadora shrugged and began to stuff her chosen things into an empty bag, Duncan doing the same.

                Violet scoffed, “Isn’t that what we’re trying to do? _Scare_ people? It’s _fun._ ”

                Olivia raised an eyebrow at the chaotic girl, “The only people you should be scaring are _pedophiles_ , sweetheart.”

                Violet gave an exasperated sigh, “Yeah, I know, but… it’s _incredibly_ fun to scare people regardless, y’know?” Isadora nodded violently in agreement. She had a moderate part of the student body afraid of her already, though she’d only been here for a short time.

                Klaus held out a steady hand, “Violet… no.”

                “Yes.”

                “ _...No.”_

 _“_ **_Y e s.”_ **

                Klaus threw his hands up and walked past her, Sunny toddling off after him, “D’accord!” Which meant something along the lines of “ _No worries, I agree with you, sister. He’s just a killjoy.”_

                The spectacled boy tossed his head back in irritation.

                Violet smirked, “Well I’m happy _someone_ other than Isa agrees with me.” Isadora walked over to Violet and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, jokingly. Violet grasped onto her hand in return, giggling maniacally. Duncan was running after Klaus with a duffel bag on his shoulder.

                Olivia smiled softly as the rest of the children made their way out of the library.

* * *

 

                Jacquelyn had returned later that afternoon, absolutely exhausted. She and Olivia were now sitting in Olivia’s office, talking over some tea the librarian brewed.

                “I managed to find the boy,” Jacquelyn spoke, “He was frightened at first, but after I managed to explain the situation, he seemed to settle down somewhat. Larry will be bringing him in some time this week - I’ll try to work the cafeteria line. Keep an eye on things.”

                Olivia sighed, “Oh, darling, no, don’t do that! Let Larry work the line, that kind of work is beneath you-!” She cleared her throat, “Not to say that Larry’s work is-”

                Jacquelyn waved her off,

                “I understand, but I’m worried about the children…”

                She leaned in closely,

                “I’ve gotten some intel - apparently Olaf has contacted… the Gruesome Twosome.”

                Olivia raised an eyebrow, “The… Gruesome Twosome?”

                “Yes,” Jacquelyn hissed, “They’re two of the most vile firestarters in the field. V.F.D. has been split into two - and I think both sides are trying to go after this group of children.”

                “...Aren’t you part of V.F.D.?” Olivia asked carefully.

                Jacquelyn opened her mouth to say something, but closed it. She thought for a moment.

                She turned her teacup this way. And then that way.

                “...I think I’m having second thoughts.” She said finally.

                Olivia tapped her nails on the table, “Perhaps it’s for the best.”

                Jacquelyn nodded,

                “Yes. Perhaps.”


	9. The Anomalous Academy [3]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the Baudelaires and Quagmires try to settle into the school. Some odd things are uncovered, as well as some other surprising things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isadora and Duncan have officially joined the group! They'll be added to the chapter starter lineup next chapter. uwu
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                “Hey, Isa,” Duncan said to his sister as they exited the school to the dorm grounds, “Where have Mischief and Mayhem been?”

                The Baudelaires looked at the two triplets in confusion.

                “... Mischief and Mayhem?” Klaus asked Duncan.

                “Oh, yeah! Isadora has a couple of pet crows that she found on campus not long ago. They love her to bits. She named them as such.” Duncan explained. Isadora nodded, pulling down her face mask,

                “I suppose now is as good a time as ever to introduce you to my children.” She said. She then walk ahead of them and turned around. The rest of the group stopped.

                Isadora then held out her arms, and gave out a whistle that went from a low to high octave.

                Violet cocked her head, raising an eyebrow.

                Soon, they heard the fluttering of wings, and two dark, fluffy crows landed on her wrists.

                Klaus grinned, “That’s incredible!” Violet looked at both of the crows and crossed her arms,

                “Impressive.”

                Isadora smiled, “Meet your new family members, I’m sure they’ll help in your endeavors.” The two crows squawked a greeting.

                “Corbeaux!” Sunny waved up at the two crows, who cocked their heads at the little toddler. one of them squawked, then nodding its head. Sunny giggled.

                “I’ve trained them quite well, they’ll give Olaf hell.” Isadora cackled. Violet grinned deviously, “Oh, I’m sure.”

* * *

 

                The hazy sun was setting upon the dreary school as the Baudelaires and Quagmires laughed and talked in Violet, Sunny, and Isadora’s dorm.  Isadora and Duncan had changed into their new outfits, Isadora admiring her new face mask in her vanity mirror. Duncan lifted his new coat’s hoodie,

                “These are super comfy. I wonder where Jacquelyn gets all this stuff?”

                 

                “Probably Hot Topic or something.” Violet commented sarcastically. She was currently lying on her bed, feeding Vernal some bits of meatloaf from her lunch earlier. Mischief and Mayhem had perched themselves on the edge of the bed, cocking their heads at the cobra. Vernal flicked its tail at the two birds. They seemed to tolerate each other’s existence. Somewhat.

                “I wouldn’t be surprised.” Klaus said, looking through the _Secret Organizations_ book, “Hey, Duncan, do you have your commonplace book?”

                “Yep, always.” Duncan replied, walking over to the boy, “Why?”

                “You might want to take some notes - it might help us in the long run. I still haven’t gone through the entire book, but I do remember some interesting stuff about the spyglass-”

                Violet’s head shot up, “ _Oh shit,”_ she said looking to Klaus, “Do you still have that bit? I mean, I have the spyglass from Jacky, but-”

                “Well of _course_ I do, here, let me get it.” Klaus said, getting up from Isadora’s desk as Duncan watched him,

                “Hold on, a spyglass piece? And you _have_ one?”

                Klaus nodded back at him, “Yeah, we found it in the burnt remains of our home. I’ll be right back.” He then slipped outside of the room to go to he and Duncan’s. Violet reached for her bag, pulling out the spyglass Jacquelyn had given her, “Tada~. I’m guessing it was Gustav’s. Poor dude-”

                Isadora pulled down her face mask, cutting her off, “We found a piece, too.”

                “You… _you what?”_ Violet was now getting up, Vernal cocked its head at Isadora. “Tu quoi?” Sunny parroted her sister.

                “It’s in my drawer, here, hold on.” The poet said, opening said drawer and fishing out a piece of a spyglass.

                “Well, shit.” Violet said quietly. Isadora nodded.

                “Found it-!” They heard Klaus say as he reentered the room, holding up the Baudelaire piece.

                Isadora blinked at their piece, and then down at the Quagmire piece.

                She walked towards Klaus and held it up to the piece he was holding.

                Klaus did the same, and they connected the two pieces, which fit together perfectly.

_Click._

                “Fuckdamn, what a wonder.” Violet said suddenly. Sunny let out a little noise of pure excitement. Duncan stood beside the desk, mouth wide open,

                “Holy fuck.”

* * *

 

                “We grabbed some dinner from the cafeteria.” Duncan said as he and Klaus came back into the girl’s room, carrying some paper bags. “It’s still not much, but it’s food.” Klaus commented.

                “As long as it’s sustenance I don’t giveth a damn.” Violet joked, now looking at the two spyglasses in front of her. She sat on her bed cross-legged, Vernal laying on her shoulders. Isadora lay across the bed horizontally,

                “So… _both_ of our parents were in a cult.” She said, staring up at the ceiling.

                The moon was slowly rising outside, and they’d spent a lot of time looking through the book, Duncan taking notes and Klaus committing it to memory.

                “Aunt Jo, too.” Violet commented, “And Uncle Monty.”

                “And… Olaf.” Duncan said, placing down his two bags on a desk. Klaus set his two beside those.

                Violet made an audible vomiting noise, “ _Don’t say his name_.” Sunny stuck out her tongue in disgust.

                Duncan sighed, “Right, Bastard Man.” The little toddler then nodded, crossing her little arms.

                “What the hell was V.F.D. even _for?_ ” Klaus asked, sitting on the chest at the end of Violet’s bed.

                “Something, something, ‘Greater Good’ something.” Violet sneered, “I’m sure we can ask Jacquelyn some _questions_ some time soon.” Isadora made a noise of agreement.

                “For now, though,” Violet then scooched off of her bed, and walked over to Duncan, “We need to focus on the glorious task at hand.”

                “Oh, yeah, that.” Duncan cleared his throat.

                Violet smirked, placing a firm hand on his shoulder, “And that is _certainly_ for the ‘Greater Good’.” She snidely remarked.

                “It’s not going to be that hard.” Klaus said, “We’ve got some help, the asshole is a complete chode, and killing someone who deserves it really doesn’t feel that bad, once you get right down to it.”

                “Wait what-” Duncan asked, looking at him.

                Violet leaned her weight on Duncan, placing a hand on her hip, “Oh, right! Klaus slaughtered Orwell.” She grinned.

                “ _You WHAT-?”_ Duncan hissed. Isadora shot up and stared directly at Klaus, “Holy shit.”

                “I didn’t have a choice! It was _her_ or _us,_ AND she was working with Olaf. So… I stabbed her in the head! Threw her into a saw blade. Simple as that.” Klaus explained.

                “Nice.” Isadora simply said.

                Duncan opened his mouth, then closed it again, then looked at Violet, who was now giggling maniacally.

                “This is fucking nuts.” He finally said.

                “What’s nuts is having your life threatened. Either you defend yourself, or you run like a coward.” Violet commented, gently bumping her head into his. Duncan merely stepped away from her, causing Violet to straighten herself halfway.

                Duncan looked at her, then to Klaus, then back to her.

                “I mean… you… you _did_ stab him… and shoot him?” He said. Violet nodded quickly, smiling.

                “And he’s _still_ coming after you guys?” He continued.

                “Precisely.” Violet said with a flourish of her hand. Klaus rolled his eyes, “He definitely has some sort of beef with us.”

                Duncan blinked, “I-I guess?”

                “However, I _do_ wish you could have told us about Orwell, sooner.” Isadora remarked, “I would’ve _loved_ to see that happen.”

                Duncan double took his sister.

                “Oh, don’t look at me like that.” Isadora rolled her eyes, throwing herself back down on the bed.

* * *

 

                “Yknow what?” Violet said the next morning, pulling on her boots, “Fuck school.” Sunny then slid off she and Violet’s bed, fiddling with her skull barrette.

                Isadora nodded, putting on one of her new face masks.

                “Fuck all this bullshit.” She continued, “I’m not putting on that damn uniform - I don’t know if you’ve _noticed._ ” She decided to slip a small knife into her dress pocket. “Fuck!” Sunny responded in triumph. Violet smiled proudly at her little sister.

                Isadora pointed at her new torn jeans.

                “ _Exactly,_ sweetie.” Violet replied, “What are they gonna do to us? Tell us to go change? Do any of those stupid ass punishments? I rule this school, now.”

                Klaus and Duncan walked in, also not wearing their uniforms. They clearly opted to wear their own, more comfortable clothes as well.

                Violet looked at them and crossed her arms, “ _My city, now.”_

                “Your city, now.” Klaus replied without missing a beat, “Now, when do you think Jacquelyn will be back? We need to start preparing.”

                Violet shrugged, “Whenever the hell she gets back, I guess. We could bug Olivia about it, but I don’t want to bother the poor woman.”

                Mischief and Mayhem squawked at Isadora, who then patted their heads with her hands, as if to say “I’ll be back, soon.”

                “We should probably get to class.” Duncan piped up, looking at the dusty clock on the wall. Violet rolled her eyes, “Don’t be so nervous, buddy boy. Just do the Murder Walk and you’ll be fine. Have a resting bitch face.”

                “...M-murder walk?” The boy looked worriedly at the elder Baudelaire. Klaus gave an exasperated sigh.

                “Exactly!” Violet squeaked, “Walk with your shoulders back, have them squared out, quick steps, have a resting bitch face. Feel the confidence. Or at least… fake it ‘til ya make it.”

                Sunny demonstrated by playfully walking as such, with a grumpy look on her face.

                Duncan blinked at the two Baudelaire girls.

                “Just try it, my dude. you’ll get that shit on point sooner than you know it.” She advised, “We’ve got quite a task on our hands - you might as well be prepared to scare the living shit out of people with only the _look_ on your face.”

                Duncan looked at Klaus, who merely shrugged at the worried boy, “She has a point.” Duncan let out a small groan of contempt from his closed mouth.

                Isadora then grabbed her bag and walked to the doorway, looking back. She then nodded her head toward the exit.

                “Let’s ollie outtie, lads.” Violet agreed.

                The group then walked out of the dorm room, _most_ of them prepared to take on the school.

* * *

 

                As the group walked the hallway that morning, there seemed to be a delicate aura of menace around them, to which the other students responded by quickly moving out of their way.

                Some students gave worried glances while others watched the group from the corner of their eyes. Others were smarter - they completely avoided eye contact.

                “You know, Violet, you’ve really gained some respect after you put Carmelita in her place.” Klaus noted. Violet smirked, “It’s really not _too_ hard to scare the shit out of a second-rate school bully.”

                Isadora gave a soft nod.

                “After all, being a ‘bully’ is small-time, pathetic shit.” Violet snorted, “Which reminds me, I’m going to need to talk to little red - I’m afraid there’s something she… isn’t quite aware of.”

                Duncan looked at her with arched eyebrows, “What do you mean?”

                “I _mean_ that a certain _sweaty, rule toting asshat_ might be going down the wrong road. “ Violet spat, ”And if he’s not _careful,_ I’m going to _run. Him. Over.”_

                Isadora’s eyes sparkled at her.

                “Répugnante.” Sunny helpfully said. Klaus gave a noise of agreement.

                Eventually, the five had to part ways, Violet, Sunny, and Duncan going to Mr. Remora’s, and Klaus and Isadora going to Mrs. Bass’s.

                Semi-not surprisingly, the two instructors didn’t say a thing about their attire. The other students cleared the way as they went to their seats. Sunny resumed her normal seat in the back of Mr. Remora’s room, gnawing away on the unused books.

                Classes went on as per usual - boring, mundane, stupid.

                A break in Mr. Remora’s class came eventually, as he had to do some last-minute grading. This lead to some “silent” studying (Which, as you can guess, was not silent at all.).

                This would give Violet the opportunity to speak to Carmelita, whom she glanced at while on the way to her seat at the beginning of class.

                The small girl was looking particularly glum. Uncharacteristically, she was also quite quiet and still (Much to Mr. Remora’s pleasant surprise.). Violet turned around to Carmelita, who merely glanced up at her,

                “What-what do _you_ want… cakesniffer…” She muttered.

                Violet sighed, feeling sorry for the girl, “Listen, little red,”

                The red headed girl’s grip tightened on her pencil.

                “...Carmelita.” Violet began again, “I need to talk to you about something.”

                Silence.

                “I need to talk to you about something before…. before it gets out of hand.”

                Carmelita breathed forcefully out of her nose.

                Violet placed a gentle hand on her desk,

                “Look, I’m worried about you and… Vice Principal Nero.”

                Carmelita’s head snapped up, her eyes said fear, but the rest of her face was stone -

                “What are you going on about?”

                Violet arched her eyebrows and squinted slightly,

                “I can tell that something is going on. Something is going on, and I don’t fucking like it.”

                The girl looked away slightly, still stone-faced. Her hand trembled.

                “I don’t like it, I can feel that something is going on, and I can see it, too.” Violet continued,

                “And… I want to help you.”

                Carmelita stayed silent, not looking at the elder Baudelaire. Isadora was looking at the two girls out of the corner of her eye.

                “You don’t need to be worried about being alone in this any more, I get how you feel, I’m going to help you get out of thi-”

                The girl then slammed her hands on her desk as she shot up, cutting Violet off,

                “ **_I DON’T NEED YOUR H-HELP!”_ **She half shouted.

                The rest of the classroom fell silent, looking in their direction. Carmelita’s face went white as she stormed out of the room.

                Violet felt something drop deep within her stomach. Isadora turned to her, her eyes filled with worry.

                Sunny hopped off her book stack and toddled over to her elder sister.

                “Something is definitely fucking wrong.” Violet whispered.


	10. The Anomalous Academy [4]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life's pretty good so far. And here comes a special boy !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess whoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i mean it's obvious but ykno whatever
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                Violet stepped swiftly out of the classroom after Carmelita left, Isadora and Sunny following in tow. Isadora plucked up Sunny, catching up to Violet, pulling down her mask slightly,

                “Violet,” She said softly, “We don’t even know where she went-”

                “Yes we do.” Violet answered simply.

                Isadora followed Violet to the one place they met Carmelita the first time they both had arrived -

                Vice Principal Nero’s office.

                “Listen.” Violet said, quietly stepping over to the door. It was mostly silent, except for two voices. The two teens placed their ears near the door.

                “My darling girl,” Nero’s voice came, “Don’t listen to that brat’s horrible words - you’re a perfect little angel, capable of _so many_ things!”

                Violet clenched her jaw. Isadora glanced nervously at her.

                Carmelita’s voice was small and weak, Violet could barely make out any of the words.

                “Now, _now,_ my dear girl, come here. I know how to make all those awful words escape that little mind of yours…”

                Violet’s temper immediately shot through the roof as she then slammed her fist on the door, causing Isadora to jump slightly,

                “ **_OPEN UP._ **” She shouted in fury. She clutched the knife in her pocket, Isadora looked wildly from the door to Violet and back several times before the door swung open.

                Nero sneered down angrily at the two teens, “What do _YOU_ two imbeciles want? Haven’t I given you troublemakers _enough_ free passes?”

                Violet glared up at Nero, looking fiercely into his eyes, “We need Carmelita to help us finish with our group project. We’re presenting soon.” Isadora quickly caught on and silently nodded. Carmelita watch quietly from the inside of his office.

                Nero rolled his eyes, “Yes… of course…” He waved over Carmelita, who quickly slid out the door and behind Violet and Isadora, “Do _not_ interrupt a meeting between me and my student again, or you _will_ face consequences - _I don’t care_ **_who_ ** _your guardian is._ ”

                Violet turned up the corner of her lip, squinting harshly, “ Of course. Wouldn’t _dream_ of doing that, again.” With that, he slammed the door shut.

                Violet turned to Carmelita, who looked small and meek. She fiddled with the edge of her dress.

                “Carmelita,” Violet said sternly, “I’m not letting this happen to you again.” Isadora looked carefully at the short red head.

                The girl merely stood silently, not looking up at them.

                “And if it does happen again - _I’m going to raise hell._ ” Violet continued. Isadora pulled down her mask slightly and whispered into Vi’s ear. She huffed,

                “You’re right, Isa. We’ll need to take care of this bastard.”

                Carmelita’s head shot up, looking worriedly at the two.

                “It’s kind’ve our job, little red.” Violet spoke as Isadora fixed her mask, “We hunt down pedophiles, we kill them.”

                “...Hunt down… pedophiles?” Carmelita asked carefully.

                “Yep.” The elder Baudelaire answered simply, “Now, walk with us, talk with us. We might have a good deal for you.”

* * *

 

                “ _You did THAT to him? AND YOU KILLED HER?”_

                Carmelita was looking wildly at both Violet and Klaus. Klaus nodded simply and Violet grinned darkly.

                The group had opted to bail on lunch and perhaps the rest of the day to explain everything to Miss Spats, who was now clearly on board. They had all gathered in Violet, Sunny, and Isadora’s dorm room once again.

                “I don’t care what this is, I’m in. I’m tired of feeling trapped. I’m fucking tired of being alone. I want out and I want to come with you guys.” Carmelita spoke quickly with wild eyes, shaking her fists up and down by her sides.

                The group each looked at each other and her.

                Violet crossed her arms,

                “Welcome to the Murder Cru, little red.” she said, “We’ll let Olivia know asap, Jacquelyn should be back soon, apparently.”

                Klaus cleared his throat, “Until then, try to keep this on the down-low. We can’t have anyone else knowing we’re a group of murderous kids.”

                “A group of murderous, _pedophile slaughtering_ kids.” Violet noted helpfully, smiling. Klaus gave an annoyed sigh, “ _Yeah_ , almost forgot about that part.”

* * *

 

                Klaus and Duncan made their way to the library later that afternoon to meet with Olivia about their new recruit, among other things.

                Olivia poured them some tea and set out some cookies for them in her office, and they sat among her many succulents in the dim, dusty light,

                “I always knew something was wrong.” The librarian commented, “But that bastard had everything so well hidden I just thought I was being silly.”

                “Well, the gut feeling you had was correct.” Klaus replied, dipping a shortbread cookie into his tea, “Carmelita is definitely being groomed by Nero, there’s no doubt about that.”

                Duncan slammed his fist down onto the desk, causing the teacups and the like to clatter violently. Olivia and Klaus looked to him with surprise. The usually quiet boy looked deeply upset,

                “I fucking hate it. How we didn’t notice it. Isadora and I both agreed something was up but we didn’t-”

                Klaus placed a gentle hand onto his fist, “It’s ok. It’s fine. It’s not… It’s not your fault.”

                Duncan looked up at Klaus, raising an eyebrow. Klaus then glanced at Olivia,

                “Sometimes these things are hard to read.”

                Olivia nodded solemnly.

                “...Right.” Duncan looked down at Klaus’s hand. He unfurled his fist and held onto it, “We’ll fix this. We’ll make it better.” Klaus nodded, smiling.

                It was silent for a few minutes before Olivia remembered,

                “Ah, Jacquelyn contacted me a little bit ago - she said she’ll be back tomorrow.” She said brightly.

                Klaus and Duncan looked up to Olivia, then to each other, and smiled.

                “Finally!” Klaus grinned, “Now we can start getting our shit together.” Duncan gave a single, triumphant nod.

* * *

 

                The faint lamp cast a gentle glow across the girl’s dorm room. Violet lay awake, Sunny and Vernal snoozing peacefully beside her.

                “...Isa?” She gently called out.

                There was a few seconds of silence before a tired voice called out,

                “Hmmnn.. yeah?”

                “...Good, you’re awake.” Violet responded.

                “...Whatisit?”

                Violet thought for a moment.

                “...Jacquelyn and Larry were apparently trying to find someone… do you think they found them?” She asked.

                “Maybe.” Isadora tiredly called out.

                The two girls lay in silence for a few minutes.

                A knock then came at the door.

                Isadora sat straight up as Violet grabbed a knife from her bedside table, shot out of bed, and slowly approached the door,

                “It’s a little late for a visit.” Violet said, leaning against the door.

                “I… I know but… I needed to see you.” A small voice came.

                Violet raised her eyebrows and opened the door a crack,

                “Little red?”

                “...Hi.” Carmelita came weakly.

                “...You alright?” Violet replied, lowering the knife.

                “...No. I’m not.” The girl returned, “I… I didn’t feel safe by myself..?”

                Violet looked sorrowfully on the girl.

                “Who is it?” Isadora’s voice came from behind her. Violet took Carmelita’s hand and lead her inside, “It’s Carm, she’s having some trouble.”

                Isadora squinted through the dimness, “Ah, alright.” she said gently.

                Carmelita looked around the room as Violet shut and locked the door, “Could I… uh… stay here for the night..?” She asked carefully.

                “Sure, I don’t care.” Violet replied, walking over to her bedside table and replacing the knife.

                Carmelita smiled gently as she walked over to Violet, who looked at Sunny, “I’m surprised that didn’t wake the little gremlin.” Isadora laughed.

                Carmelita looked between the two beds, “I’m ok with sleeping on the floor or-”

                “Let me help.” Isadora spoke up, slipping out of her bed to gather some unused pillows, and then pulling some blankets from the end chest.

                Violet helped the poet lay them out of the floor between the two beds, making a makeshift bed for the red head to sleep on.

                “...Hopefully that’ll do.” Violet said, looking at their handiwork. Isadora nodded and tiredly clambered back into her own bed.

                Carmelita looked between them, and then to the bed.

                “...Thank you.” She said quietly. Violet nodded, then slipping back into her own bed,

                “Let me know if you need anything else, little red.”

                Carmelita nodded, crawling into the makeshift nest, “Good night.”

                “G’night.” Violet replied.

* * *

 

                The day went on as per usual, except this day was far different from many others.

                Or, it would be for now, at least.

                Class went on as per usual, but Violet, Isadora, and Carmelita opted to quietly giggling and talking together about various plans and weapons, Violet suggesting a bat with nails. Sunny sat on Violet’s desk, kicking her little feet, listening to the group’s endless whisperings, nodding along all the while.

                The bell rang for lunch, and the members of the Cru immediately made their way to the library, knowing full and well Jacquelyn would be there by now.

                The library’s doors had a worn looking closed sign hung on the door handle, though they quickly slipped inside, hoping nobody else was watching.

                “Oh, you’re all here! Wonderful!” Olivia’s voice came as she shot up from her seat at a table, “Jacquelyn is in my office. She’s been trying to explain everything to the poor boy she found…”

                “...Boy?” Violet asked, raising her eyebrows in suspicion.

                “Yes - Quagmires… you might… want to see him the most.” Olivia replied, looking to Duncan and Isadora. The two triplets faces dropped.

                Olivia lead them all to the back of the library, to her office. They heard some voices before Olivia gave a soft, quick couple of knocks. The voices stopped.

                The door opened a crack, and Jacquelyn peeked through.

                “Sweetheart, they’re here.” Olivia whispered.

                Jacquelyn gave a gentle nod before opening the door all the way, letting the others in.

                As the rest of the Cru entered the room, Duncan and Isadora looked to the ragged looking boy sitting in the chair before them.

                “...Q-Quigley..?”

                “I- _Isadora! Duncan!_ ”

                The triplets then fell into a pile of hugs and tears onto the floor. Olivia smiled, nearly crying, holding gently onto Jaquelyn, who’s eyes looked happily on the reunited siblings.

                “Well, shit.” Violet nudged Klaus, “Guess he wasn’t dead after all.” The spectacled boy smirked, “I guess not.” Carmelita crossed arms, “Who the heck is that?” she whispered.

                The trio sat there for a while before they were able to contain themselves. They each rose, Isadora turning to the Baudelaires and Carmelita,

                “This is Quigley Quagmire… our brother.”

                Quigley looked at the group before him and smiled, “Hey, nice to meet you all. I’m sure as hell glad I’m not dead-” His eyes settled on Violet.

                The two stared at each other for a moment.

                “H-hey…” Violet said, her voice cracking. Klaus double took her - she wasn’t one to do that. Quigley cleared his throat, “You… you must be Violet?”

                “Yeah, I’m she.”

                “Good to know. I’d be extremely happy to help.” He finished.

                Klaus looked from Quigley to Violet, and Isadora raised an eyebrow.

                “Chambre.” Sunny teased, which meant something along the lines of _“Get a room!”_ Carmelita nodded, “I didn’t sign up to this for ooey gooey shit!”

                Violet and Quigley looked at her accusingly and she merely cackled.

                “Well, then.” Jacquelyn interrupted, “I suppose now is good a time as any to begin our conquest.”

                “Damn straight.” Violet said as Jacquelyn went toward a pile of duffle bags and packs full of supplies.

                “Which is something I’m not.” Klaus joked. Duncan blushed, “Quit that!”

                “What?”

                “ _You know what!”_

                Carmelita grinned, “Klaus and Duncan sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-”

                “ _No more of that I swear-”_ Duncan cut her off. Violet and Quigley laughed out loud, to which Carmelita then looked to them.

                Violet’s face fell and pointed to her, “Don’t you dare, little red.”

                “Oh, what of it?” Carmelita teased, “Watcha gonna do about it?”

                “They call me _Violent Violet_ for a reason.” She squinted, smirking.

                Isadora blinked, “Hush, now, little red. Unless you want to lose your head.”

                Carmelita laughed.

* * *

 

                After digging through more of the supplies, Carmelita and Quigley found their own outfits. Jacquelyn and Olivia moved the rest of the supplies into the library, and the other teens poked through the array of weapons. Carmelita and Quigley went to the bathrooms nearby to change.

                “Oh, hell yea!” Klaus said, holding up a pack of syringes, “This is _exactly_ what I needed! Thank you, Jacquelyn!” The woman nodded and turned to Duncan, who was admiring a long blade,

                “Like that, don’t you?”

                “It’s… it’s cool…” The boy said, looking at his reflection in the shining metal.

                “Olivia knows how to handle a blade like that. She’s excellent with throwing knives as well.” Jacquelyn said. Olivia giggled, “Oh, you flatter me…” The auburn haired woman winked at the librarian.

                Sunny stuck her tongue out in disgust, and Isadora laughed.

                “Tomorrow we will begin training and planning.” Jacquelyn announced, “Don’t worry about your classes. I’ll take care of that nonsense. Besides… they’re practically useless any how.”

                “Real shit?” Violet asked sarcastically, “We came here for a reason.” She then turned around, looking to Isadora, who was currently inspecting some chains, “When little red and cutie come back, we should head to the dorms, get him settled in.”

                “... _Cutie?”_ Isadora questioned, smirking.

                Violet cleared her throat, crossing her arms,

                “Freudian slip.”

                “Sure.”

                “Shut up.”

                Duncan laughed, Klaus snorted.

                “We’ll be heading out to some field behind the school. I’ve got a little base set up there.” Jacquelyn continued, “There is where we’ll train. Try to keep a small weapon on you at all times. A storm is coming.”

                Each of them nodded as the doors swung open,

                “ _Hello, cakesniffers!”_ Carmelita sing-songed, stepping in and showing off her new outfit. Violet smiled, “Cute. But it’s missing something.”

                “What’s that supposed to mean?” Carmelita asked as Violet walked over to her. The elder Baudelaire pulled a little barrette from her pocket and carefully clipped it in her hair,

                “There.”

                “...Is that a knife barrette..?” Klaus blinked.

                “Yep. I found it with the other junk. _I_ was going to keep it, but I figured it suited Carm a little more. I don’t really wear those anyhow. ‘More of a ribbon kinda girl.” Violet replied as a red-faced Carmelita touched her new hair ornament.

                

                “Th-thanks…” She squeaked.

                “No biggie, little red. Now, where’s doofus mcgee.”

                Carmelita looked behind her as Quigley finally walked into the library, “You’re _late.”_

                “Got lost for a minute, sorry about that, stinky.” He replied.

                “ _Hey!”_ Carmelita snapped, “I am _not stinky-”_

                “I mean it in the most loving way possible, friendo.” Quigley interrupted, smiling.

                

                Violet stared at Quigley, her hand flying to cover her hot face. _Oh no he’s even CUTER now._ She thought. Carmelita looked between the two of them, “Earth to Violet? Helllooooooo..?” The red head waved a hand in front of Violet’s face, who then blinked,

                “Ah, right, yeah, shit,” She cleared her throat, “Now that-”

                “Can’t hear you behind your hand, hun.” Isadora joked. Violet glared at her and slowly lowered her hand,

                “As I was _saying,_ now that we’re all here, let’s get back to the dorms. Fuck school, we’ve got shit to do.”

                “Mmmk mom.” Duncan snipped, and he and Klaus started to walk out of the library.

                “Since when was I _mom_?” Violet raised an eyebrow.

                “Since now.”

                “What.”

                “Murder mom!”

                “If I’m mom, then you’re grounded.”

                “Now that’s just rude.”

                “Bite me.”

                “Not hungry.”

                Violet glared at Duncan. Isadora had grabbed Carmelita’s hand and started down the hallway outside. “He can do this all day, V.” Quigley noted, smiling.

                “ _Violet called you cutie!”_ Carmelita yelled back, who was then yanked away.

                Quigley’s face went pink. Violet snarled, “ _carmELITA-”_


	11. The Anomalous Academy [5]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A storm's definitely brewing.... watch out, you funky lil murder kids....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter for TAA! :^)
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

 

                The Cru sat at their quaint little table the next morning, chatting away and laughing. Duncan was complaining about Quigley’s snoring, who objected to this, and said _Klaus_ was the one snoring, not him. Klaus then objected to _that,_ saying he hasn’t snored in his entire life. Sunny glared at him,

                “Mensonge.” The little toddler spat, which meant something along the lines of “ _I beg to differ.”_

                “Then beg.” Klaus quipped. Sunny stuck her tongue out, causing others at the table to laugh.

                Violet stood up from her seat and went to the front of the table - 

                “Today’s the day, losers.” She stated, placing her hands on the table and leaning down, “Today’s the day we start sharpening our blades and honing our minds.”

                “You have _such_ a way with words.” Isadora poked fun at her.

                “Thanks. ‘Preciate it.” Violet side eyed her with a smirk, “We’ve got a lot of work to do, and so little time to do it, I’m sure. It’s only a matter of time until Bastard Man comes ‘round here, and besides, we’ve got another bastard to worry about, now.”

                Carmelita fiddled with her thumbs.

                “But, he’ll be easy to take care of. Piece of cake. Just a matter of when.” Violet continued reassuringly. Carmelita looked up at her.

                “We’ll be heading to the library after we’re done here. Olivia will take us out to the fields. Jacquelyn should be waiting there for us.” Klaus said from his seat. His elder sister nodded, “Righty-roo, my little dude. So, if we’re all set..?”

                Everyone agreed and began to move out.

                “Sick, let’s get this party started.” Violet said, concluding their little meeting.

* * *

 

                They made their way to the library, where Olivia was waiting for them, already wearing her team attire, to which Violet raised an eyebrow at,

                “What are you, some kinda hot ninja?”

                

                Olivia giggled from behind the dark face mask she wore, “Stealth is my specialty, Miss Violet. I suppose it is a little silly… but you can’t fight crime unless you look gorgeous.”

                Isadora, clearly enjoying the face mask solidarity, nodded triumphantly. Violet shrugged, “Well when she’s right, she’s right.”

                “Let’s _go_ already! I want to learn how to kill a man with just my two bare hands!” Carmelita giggled, curling her hands into fists and grinning. Duncan looked worriedly at her as Violet laughed, “I like your vim and vigor, little red.”

                Olivia showed them out a back doorway of the library, they piled into the cab, and off they went.

                Violet rode shotgun with Sunny in her lap. Carmelita sat on the center console, leaning on Violet’s seat. The Quagmires and Klaus sat squished together in the back, Duncan and Klaus blushing and trying not to make eye contact. Isadora and Quigley kept pinching each other in the arms, much to Duncan’s dismay. Olivia hummed along to the radio, and eventually Violet started shouting the lyrics to one song, to which others joined in, Sunny clapping her hands and giggling.

                They eventually made it to their destination - an area in the Hinterlands where a rather big, lone tree grew. A large canvas tent stood near the tree, and a few practice dummies and targets were set up. A large folding table with multiple chairs stood near the tent as well. A couple of motorcycles stood on the other side of the tree, one a metallic brown color, and another a sleek black.

                Violet got out with Sunny first. She set the toddler down and stared at the large tree, which was currently flowering with soft white blossoms. Some had already fallen off and onto the ground below.

                Sunny ran over to the canvas tent and peaked in, “Jacquelyn!” She said happily.

                Carmelita climbed out as the others squeezed out of the back seat. Olivia slid out of the driver’s seat. Doors slammed shut, and Jacquelyn walked out of the tent, plucking up Sunny,

                “Welcome, warriors, to the… _Murder Cru Camp_.” She said jokingly.

                “The tree is gorgeous.” Violet said, walking towards it slowly. Jacquelyn nodded, “It is beautiful, isn’t it? I have no idea where it came from or how long it’s been here, but I decided this might be a good place to use as a base, for now.”

                Violet set a gentle hand on the tree’s trunk, looking up at the petals above her.

                The wind gently shook at the tree, blowing a few more flowers from the branches.

                One settled on her head.

                By now, some of the others had walked into the tent, but Quigley and Klaus made their way over to Violet, who was still looking up into the tree.

                “...Vi?” Klaus asked his elder sister.

                “...What.” She asked absentmindedly. 

                Quigley looked from the flower on her head, to her solemn looking face,

                “Watcha thinkin’ about?”

                Violet stayed silent for a few seconds before finally saying,

                “Don’t you think it’s… weird?”

                Klaus raised an eyebrow, “...What’s weird?”

                Violet kept her gaze on the tree’s floral branches,

                “How this tree, despite being in such a barren, awful place.... a place devoid of any life, of anyone to help it… flourished here?”

                The two boys were silent.

                “Flourished here. Of all places.” Violet continued.

                Quigley slowly took the flower from her head, “Well, I guess you could say, it’s like…” He took her hand, and the girl looked at him perplexed. He gently placed the bloom in her hand,

                “It’s kinda… like us. In a way?”

                Violet blinked at him, but then started to giggle, closed her hand on the flower, and slapped him in the arm with her free hand, “You’re such a fucking idiot, I love you.” Quigley blushed harshly but smiled at her.

                Klaus rolled his eyes, “As much as I love this heartfelt moment, we need to start training.” he gave a smile.

                “Right - right, yeah, let’s go.” Violet said through her laughs.

* * *

 

                The following weeks were spent training, honing, and perfecting their skills. Jacquelyn and Olivia proved to be excellent teachers, though Olivia was the more tender one of the two, while Jacquelyn was… the one who used tough love (AKA, “Long days, get your shit together. I love you all, but there’s a man out there who’s got a lot more vile things than death on his mind, and I’m sure you don’t want that. _Keep it up, don’t stop until you DROP._ ). 

                Violet appreciated both of them greatly.

                She managed to ask Jacquelyn some questions about V.F.D., to which the woman replied with various bits of information. Any questions about her being in the cult were replied with a resounding, “I’ve left it, quite honestly, though they don’t know that. I can use their bullshit to our advantage.”

                “...Bullshit?” Klaus asked.

                “Yes. The tunnels, the spyglasses, my associates who still blindly follow their stupid ideals-”

                “Like Larry?” Duncan piped up.

                “Yes, like Larry,” Jacquelyn replied sadly, “But, I’m hoping to get him the hell out of there before it’s too late.” She furrowed her brows, “Being in V.F.D. gets you nothing but trouble - and costs you your life.”

                She was right. Others had already perished because of their involvement with V.F.D., unfortunately. The Baudelaires and Quagmires were all too familiar with this fact.

                They supposed this was another thing to add to their list - 

                - Shutting down V.F.D.

                Though, that would have to wait… for now.

                For now, the task at hand was taking down a particularly awful, vile bastard.

                The teens were very quick learners - prodigies even. The two women were quite impressed.

                One day, they were practicing knife throwing - a personal favorite of Olivia’s.

                “Now,” Olivia said happily, “This is a particularly hard lesson, today, so take your time. Knife throwing can be a tad hard to the uninitiated - “

                Violet took one look at the knife in her hand. She had experience with knives, clearly. While the others practiced their shots, Violet stared down the target far from her,

                Took aim,

                And threw it with a flick of her wrist - 

_THOCK_

                Olivia stopped in the middle of her sentence and blinked at Violet, then to the knife that had hit the dead-center of the target. Klaus merely smirked and continued to attempt his throws.

                Quigley grinned wildly at her, “Holy SHIT, babe! How the hell did you do _that!?”_

                “What, like it’s hard?” Violet grinned, raising an eyebrow. Carmelita gave an irritated raspberry, “No fair! Violet - teach me to do that!”

                “Practice makes perfect, little red.” Violet called to her, “Maybe knives aren’t your thing.”

                “Then what is!?” Carmelita huffed, putting her hands on her hips.

                Duncan shrugged, “Maybe bludgeoning weapons.” Carmelita raised her eyebrow in interest at this.

                Through these weeks, Klaus learned how to fill and use his poison-filled syringes with ease. He also took an interest in something Jacquelyn found peculiar - poison darts. Violet was already close to perfect with her pistols and knives, and Isadora found her own talents with chain whips, along with teaching her crows some new, murderous tricks as well.

                Duncan was excellent with a blade, and Quigley happened to be pretty good with various daggers and knives himself. Olivia taught the two boys everything she knew. Violet opted to give Quigley some private lessons on their off hours, which usually ended in flirting, Klaus and Duncan yelling at them about how they’re “going to vomit”, and Carmelita screaming “ _EUUGGHH!_ ”.

                Sunny was frighteningly fast and agile on all fours, along with her teeth, which could definitely rip out a person’s jugular in mere seconds. This impressed the two women but also _slightly_ terrified them (They didn’t expect a feral toddler, but hey - anything worked.). Carmelita was pretty apt about blunt-force trauma and… having a general craving for blood (“Carm, slow down, you’re gonna actually hurt one of us.” Said a worried Quigley while they were doing paired training one day.).

                Needless to say, things were going swimmingly.

                Though, Jacquelyn received information that Olaf was going to receive his help from the Gruesome Twosome sooner than they had originally planned. This _did_ cause a pang of worry to shoot through the two women, but they then remembered that they had a group of very capable death dealers.

                Whatever he was planning… he had another thing coming.

* * *

 

                “ _Wake up, samurai. We’ve got a pedo to burn._ ”

                Violet gently slapped Duncan awake in his bed. The boy snorted awake to see the eldest Baudelaire standing over him,

                “Thanks for the wake up call, _mom._ ” he grumbled, rubbing his eyes. Isadora kicked at Quigley, who was lying in a nest of blankets and pillows on the floor nearby. He shouted and sat upright, “Agh, _fuck,_ I can’t believe you’ve _done_ this-”

                “One: Yes, I’m your mom. But, two: We’re going to be late,” She looked over to an irritated Quigley, who sleepily blinked up at her, “Babe, Isadora’s being a giant _BITCH._ ”

                “Cool. Keep doin’ you, babe.” Violet said to Isadora, who nodded happily. Quigley gave an exasperated groan and flopped back down, to which Isadora raised a shoe to step on him -

                “DO NOT. STEP. ON ME-” Quigley replied with a shout, “I’M _GOOOO_ ING!”

                “GOOOO _FAAAAS_ TER.” Violet called through laughter.

                Klaus was in the middle of packing his things into his bag while the chaos was happening, occasionally looking back, a gentle smile on his face.

                “Morveuse?” Sunny asked, looking around the boy’s room.

                “Little red’s prob at the library if she’s not here.” Violet replied, “She does that sometimes.”

                “Rarely, though. She probably brought another cake, again.” Klaus snorted.

                “Oh shit, _cake.”_ Quigley said, digging through his clothes drawers, “Now _that’s_ something to wake up to, motherfucker.”

                “True.” Violet replied.

                It took a few minutes, but eventually everyone was ready to head to the library, as per usual.

                By this time, Violet had truly become the queen bee of the school. Students would immediately move out of the group’s way upon seeing Violet at the front. 

                She’d received multiple confession letters and had been asked out on more than a few occasions, all to which she “kindly” turned down, 

                “I’m taken, sorry, sweetie.” 

                Eventually, that nonsense stopped altogether when she decided that actions are better than words.

                “Quigley.” Violet said to the boy one day, “From now on, when we walk through the halls, hold my hand.”

                Quigley choked on his water, gasped, sputtered, and finally said, “ _W-what!?”_

                “Hold my hand, dumbass.”

                Klaus grinned, “Unprotected hand-holding? _Dear GOD!”_ He teased. Duncan laughed.

                Now, they walked through the hallway, Violet’s hand in Quigleys. 

                “Golly, what a power couple.” Duncan snorted. Klaus put his arm around Duncan and they laughed.

                “Shut it, bitch boy.” Violet called back at her brother, who made a teasing “Oooooh!” noise, causing Isadora and Duncan to laugh.

                When they made it to the library, Olivia greeted them excitedly, again, as per usual, but this time, 

                Something was different.

                “Oh, there you all are! Ready to get going?” The librarian asked. Violet and Quigley looked past her, trying to find a certain red headed girl,

                “Where’s Carm?” Duncan asked.

                “Ah, right! Carmelita left a note on my office door. I came in this morning and found it.” Olivia replied.

_A note?_

                Carmelita wasn’t the type to… leave notes.

                “A… note…” Violet said slowly.

                “Yes! It said she’d be a little late, which isn’t a problem at all!” Olivia said.

                “Could I see it?” Klaus asked. Olivia blinked at him, “I suppose so, but I don’t see why.”

                “I just think it’s a tad out of the ordinary for her to do so, that’s all.” The spectacled boy replied quickly. Olivia shrugged and lead him back to her office, to where she got the letter and handed it to him.

                “Thank you, Olivia.” He said, taking the note and looking at it carefully. Olivia then walked back to the group,

                “Well, ready to get going? I’ll come back here and wait for Carmelita, no worries.”

                “Sure, I guess.” Violet replied. Klaus walked quickly over to her, “Violet, there’s something odd about this letter, but I can’t tell… her handwriting is… all over the place.”

                “Her handwriting’s always been like that, bud.” Violet replied, “Come on, we gotta get goin’.”

                “...Right.” He said reluctantly.

                While the usual noisy ride to their base was a tad quieter with Carmelita’s absence, Klaus was busy studying the odd note.

                There was definitely something off about it.

* * *

 

                Violet blocked Quigley’s knife with a loud _CLANG_ as it met her two pistols. She then pushed the blade away from her with the pistols, sliding backward with the force. Quigley slid out two other knives from their sheaths as she began to shoot at him - yet he blocked each shot with his blades.

                Klaus was carefully examining Carmelita’s letter,

                “Violet?”

                The eldest Baudelaire cackled as Quigley threw a knife at her and she blocked it yet again, it rickashaying off one pistol and stabbing itself into the ground nearby. Quigley grinned, clearly planning something.

                “Violet!?” Klaus called again, watching the two teens currently engaged in an obviously _very_ heated training session.

                “You’re going to have to try a little harder than that, _pretty boy~”_ Violet teased the Quagmire boy. He laughed loudly, “I wouldn’t feel too high and mighty if I were you, _princess_.” Violet giggled maniacally and bit her lip.

                “ **_VIOLET!_ **” Klaus yelled finally, sick of their flirting.

                Violet then stepped quickly backwards and turned towards her brother, catching her breath.

                She blew some loose hair out of her face before finally speaking,

                “Yes, _darling_ little brother of mine?”

                “I _really_ think you need to take a closer look at Carmelita’s letter.” The spectacled boy replied, his eyebrows arched woefully.

                Violet blinked at him slowly, before calling back to Quigley,

                “Take five, babe.”

                Quigley saluted them before walking over to the makeshift cooler filled with water bottles. Violet then walked over to Klaus, “I _told_ you, little red’s handwriting has always been shit - we all know this.”

                Klaus glared at her, “No, I _mean_ there are letters here that _shouldn’t_ be capitalized at all - “

                “Your point?”

                The boy gave his elder sister a thoroughly irritated sigh, “- And there are dashes where there _shouldn’t_ be dashes.” He spoke quickly, “ _Look-”_

                

                Violet squinted at the letter in suspicion. This was definitely Carmelita’s - the awful handwriting, the sickeningly sweet stationary - but something was… definitely off. Quigley walked back over to them, resting an arm on Violet’s shoulder.

                “...Well get to work, four-eyes.” She spat.

                Klaus rolled his eyes and began to circle the capitalized letters and dashes,

                “She’s clearly trying to tell us something, and due to how messy the handwriting is, this may have been… quick… and forced.” He finished slowly, circling the last letter.

                

                “...Forced?” Violet hissed. Quigley looked worriedly from Violet to the letter.

                She didn’t like where this was going.

                “Clearly, Violet.” Klaus replied, looking up at her with furrowed brows.

                “Then start listing out those _letters and dashes_ , sweetie.” Violet scoffed. Klaus glared at her, “I’m GETTING there, shit-”

                The boy started to slowly write out each letter and dash…

                Until the grey letters of Klaus’s pencil spelled out something particularly spine-chilling.

                

**_HELP-NEROS-OFFICE_ **

                “Shit”

                Quigley spoke first, standing up straight beside Violet, who was now white as a sheet.

                Klaus looked up nervously at his sister,

                “...Violet…”

                The girl quickly turned on her heel and stormed towards the tent, and burst inside. Jacquelyn was currently cleaning out some pistols and shotguns when she noticed the teen,

                “Violet, what’s the problem?”

                The eldest Baudelaire ignored her, grabbed some nails, and spotted a bat. The cogs in her mind were turning fast and hard.

                She slammed the bat down onto one of the work tables and grabbed a hammer. Jacquelyn quickly got up and walked over to the girl, who was quickly banging the nails into the large bat this way and that.

                Jacquelyn watched carefully as Violet then reached into her dress pocket for another spare hair ribbon, tied it around the handle of the bat, turned around quickly, and stormed out.

                “ _Violet-”_ Jacquelyn called to her, leaving the tent with her.

                There was no calling out to her at all, in fact. Violet nabbed her satchel and walked briskly over to the pitch black motorcycle, stuffing the bat into the bag. She quickly got onto the cycle, sliding the helmet on, and kicked it into gear.

                “VIOLET, HOLD ON-” Klaus shouted at her over the noise.

                At this point, Jacquelyn had stopped and surveyed her other students - 

                Quigley merely stood with his arms crossed, Isadora at his side, her crows perched on her head and shoulder. their eyes were solemn and dark.

                Klaus clutched Carmelita’s letter in his hand desperately, watching his sister speed off on the motorcycle in a cloud of dust, heading toward Prufrock.

                “...Shit.” The woman sighed, placing her head in her hands.

* * *

 

                She didn’t have time to think.

                She didn’t have time to stop.

                She didn’t care. At all.

                There wasn’t a single second to lose.

                Every second she counted could be another second that a certain disgusting, slimy, untalented bastard could be laying a hand on that poor girl - 

                And she wasn’t going to have any of it.

                At all.

                Violet sped across the barren lands of the Hinterlands, Prufrock coming quickly into view. The closer she drew, the hotter she felt her temper burn, and the darker her thoughts got about how she’d end this man’s life.

 

_Fucking hell, I’m a fucking idiot._

 

                Pressing as hard as she could on the gas, she had reached well over 150 mph on the damned thing-

 

_Why did I let this shit slip right under my fucking nose?_

 

                She eventually reached the grounds of the school,

                Parked behind one of the tombstone-shaped dorm buildings,

                Hung the helmet on one of the handles,

                And ran quickly to the doors.

 

_Son of a BITCH I’m a fucking STUPID PIECE OF SHIT-_

 

                She dashed through the hallways, shoving through crowds of noisy students - it was a between period, it seemed.

 

_Oh God oh GOD oh GOD OH GOD-_

 

                Violet found herself at the vice principals’ door, and heard something that made fear speed through her spine - that made her stomach plummet to the depths of hell itself - 

                Carmelita’s panicked cries. Nero’s voice came through, splitting into Violet’s mind like an arrow.

 

                “STOP. STRUGGLING. YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE A SCENE, GIRL.”

 

                Carmelita’s cries were muffled by several crashes.

                She was clearly trying to defend herself. Jacquelyn and Olivia and taught them how to defend themselves even without weapons - 

                But it wouldn’t last long.

                Violet clenched her teeth and reeled back, sending a heavy kick to the door, causing it to fly open, and the glass on it to shatter.

                She rushed in, seeing Carmelita on the floor surrounded by trashed books, shattered glass, and other various broken odds and ends. The office was a complete mess.

                The eldest Baudelaire grabbed Carmelita’s wrist and threw her behind her, pointing the bat at a highly enraged, partly bloody-headed Nero,

 

                “ **Don’t. Fucking.** **_Touch. HER.”_ **

 

                Violet hissed with protective venom, Carmelita looking wildly from Violet, to the bat, and back.

                Nero’s wide eyes suddenly grew dark and he grinned deviously,

                “...Miss Baudelaire. Pleasant to see you.”

                Violet bore her teeth at him, gripping tighter onto Carmelita’s wrist.

                “It is _quite_ rude to interrupt a meeting between a vice principal and his student - clearly you must know this… yes?”

                Violet gave him a heavy glare, “ **DO. NOT. FUCKING. TOUCH.** **_HER._ **”

                Nero merely chuckled, glancing at the bat,

                “Oh, darling girl, you wouldn’t use that on me. You wouldn’t want to get… suspended would you?”

                Carmelita’s face was hot with tears.

                “Though… I’m sure you could make up for such an… interruption…” The vile vice principal droned, his sweaty face gleaming in the faint sunlight from the dusty window.

                Violet suddenly felt a familiar sickness to her stomach.

                Carmelita stopped cold.

                Her face turned blank.

                She felt her blood boil.

                “... Violet.”

                “...”

                “Give me... Give me the. Bat.”

                “...What-”

                Carmelita ripped herself free of Violet’s grasp, snatched the bat from Violet’s hand, and lunged towards Nero, who's face was suddenly plastered with surprise and fear-

 

_THWACK_

 

_THUNK_

 

_THWNK_

 

_FWUMP_

 

_THMP_

 

_THCK_

 

                With each hit to Nero’s head, he screamed. The nails dug into his skull. Blood splattered across the desk. The floor. The mountains of papers in the room. The useless papers.

 

_THRCK_

 

_GLCK_

 

_THGLCK_

 

                Violet watched blankly as Carmelita reduced Nero’s head to a pile of flesh, bone, and blood.

                Merely the meat of a former pedophile.

 

                “Carm…” She said.

 

                The red head then brought her shoe down onto the pile, stomping on it angrily.

 

                “Carm… you-” Violet said again.

 

                Carmelita finally stopped, breathing heavily, looking at the bloody mass beneath her foot.

 

                “Carmelita.”

 

                The girl looked up at Violet, who looked upon her with an impressed yet fearful look - 

                “...He won’t… He’s not going to hurt anyone any more.”

                Violet nodded, walking over to her. She grabbed the girl into a tight hug.

                “I guess the bat is yours?” Violet asked dryly.

                Carmelita looked down at the bloodied, nail-filled bat.

 

                “...Yeah. Sure is.”


	12. An Imperious Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now it's time for all to truly begin. Before that, however... let's see what's brewing in other corners of this wild world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for another interlude after five whole chapters of TAA. uwu
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                   

                “...No, listen, he’s _gone_ _…_ Yes. Disappeared. Don’t worry, I- ... _we’ll_ be sending someone to take your place. Soon. Maybe. Depends. Those three can fend for themselves, yes? Good. Excellent. Just get here ASAP. And don’t… no ankles. No recruiting. Don’t… JUST- We need to move out. End of story. Over.”

                Jacquelyn spoke quickly into her walkie talkie as the kids sat around their base. Klaus and Duncan were trying to clean up a _very_ bloody Carmelita. Violet sat on one of the chairs nearby, her arms crossed, staring off into the dusty horizon. Quigley stood behind, leaning down with his arms wrapped around her neck lovingly.

                “He tried to do _wHAT to you?”_ Duncan asked, disgusted. He dunked a bloody rag into a bucket of water.

                Carmelita shrugged.

                “So you… killed him?” Klaus asked softly, wiping down Carmelita’s arm.

                “Yeah. Why.” She asked simply.

                “...Nothing. Just asking.”

                Duncan placed a gentle hand on Carmelita’s shoulder, “...Are you going to be alright?"

                The girl suddenly gave him a devious grin,

                “ _I will be, now._ ”

                Duncan blinked.

                Quigley snorted, “Clearly! You bashed the bastard’s head in!” He poked at Violet’s cheek playfully, “Congrats on your first kill, Carm!”

                Carmelita cackled, slapping her hands quickly on her knees. Klaus sighed heavily through his nose.

                Isadora silently fed her two crows some bits of mystery meat from the cafeteria, occasionally glancing at the dissociating Violet.

                Quigley noticed Isadora peeking at the girl in his arms, so he leaned his head down to her ear,

                “Hey.”

                “Hey.” She replied, monotone.

                “Are you doin’ alright, babe?” He asked softly.

                A light blush dusted her cheeks as she tried to fight a smile, “I’ll be fine.”

                He pinched at her cheek playfully and she giggled, gently slapping his hand away.

                Sunny looked in their direction and made an audible gagging noise, causing a few of the others to laugh.

                Jacquelyn walked over to the large foldable table nearby,

                “Well, everyone.” she spoke, placing the walkie talkie down, “It looks like we’ll have to move out in a few days.. Olivia is currently taking care of Nero’s body and office.”

                The children looked at her, some perplexed, others blank.

                “We’ll make sure it looks like he… _disappeared_.”

                “...Who were you talking to?” Quigley spoke up from Violet’s side.

                Jacquelyn looked to the boy,

                “A… _friend_ from V.F.D. … I’ll have to explain everything to her, later.”

                Violet gave a scoff, “Sounds suspicious.”

                “Indeed it does.” Jacquelyn replied.

* * *

 

                Within a particularly tall building, at the very, very top, lived a couple within a multitude of dark rooms filled with useless objects and overly expensive things that were hardly, or never even used, at all.

                In one of the plethora of dark rooms was a long, dark wood dining table, and at the head of said table, was a blonde-haired woman. On the other end of the long table stood two gruesome-looking individuals. 

                Two candles were the only things that lit this dark room, and whatever light they gave off created an eerie look on these figures’ faces.

                The blonde-haired woman gently poured tea from a white, porcelain pot into a cup of the same look, “I apologize for the bitterness of the tea…” She began,

                “If it had _sugar_ from a _certain bowl…_ than perhaps it wouldn’t be so… _distasteful._ ”

                She set the teapot down with some irritation,

                “Which reminds me - you told me you had the location of the sugar bowl…”

                She brought the cup to her lips,

                “ _Where is it?”_

                A Man With A Beard and No Hair smiled gently, “Now, now, Mrs. Squalor,” he began.

                “In order for us to provide _you_ with information… You must provide _us_ with some aid.” A Woman With Hair and No Beard finished.

                The blonde-haired woman scoffed, but could see she had no other option but to comply,

                “Go on.”

                The Man nodded, “A certain group of children have been causing us some trouble.”

                “These children may be related to a certain grudge you’ve held onto.” The Woman said.

                The blonde-haired woman squinted at the two, “Out with it, then.”

                The Man and The Woman looked between each other before The Man spoke,

                “The Baudelaires.”

                The blonde-haired woman immediately felt a surge of rage engulf her, though managing to mask it (Not entirely, for she was still shaking slightly.), she spoke as carefully as she could,

                “The children… still live! Wonderful! Excellent! I’d love to… pay them a little... visit!”

                The Gruesome Twosome smiled at her.

                “Most excellent, Mrs. Squalor, though they may be on their way here.” The Woman informed her.

                “You'll be working with someone dear to you from your past.” The Man continued.

                “He’ll be on his way here in a few days time.” The Woman finished.

                The blonde-haired woman thought for a moment before a particularly devious grin crossed her face,

                “Splendid. You have supplied him with help, I presume?”

                The Man nodded his head once, “Precisely.”

                The Woman then looked darkly at her, “However, I must inform you to remain vigilant, Mrs. Squalor… These children are not to be trifled with.”

                The blonde-haired woman grinned and flourished her hand,

                “No worries, darling. I’ll be sure to take care of that… _little problem._ We’ll finish what _they_ started.”

* * *

 

                Jacques stepped quickly through the dark tunnels that fellow volunteers from years past had made so long ago. He was to retrieve the Snicket cab as quickly as possible.

                As he was deep in contemplative thought, he ran directly into another, causing them both to raise their fists - 

                “Jacques!” Larry spoke happily, lowering his fists, “Has Kit replied?”

                Jacques cleared his throat embarrassingly, fixing himself, “Yes, I’m actually on my way to retrieve her, now.”

                Larry nodded.

                “Isn’t it odd how Nero just... disappeared like that?” Jacques continued, raising an eyebrow. Larry merely nodded his head, “Oh, yes, _very_ odd!”

                “Usually associates don’t up and abandon their posts unless it’s dire.” Jacques said.

                Larry couldn’t tell whether the man was trying to pull information from him, or if he was just this… stupid? Was that the word he was looking for?

                Ignorant?

                It didn’t matter. He had to get back to Prufrock - there was a _small_ issue that had to be dealt with.

                “Precisely, well, we better get a move on, then.” Larry said quickly.

                Jacques blinked at him, but only nodded, “Right. Be seeing you, friend.”

                Larry nodded once, and they parted ways.

                Larry had a sneaking feeling that Jacques knew the children might have been the reason Nero had… “disappeared”, but decided not to entertain the notion with him.

                It was better to try and keep this as wrapped up as possible.

* * *

 

                “Alright,” Jacquelyn said, observing the now nearly clean Vice Principal’s Office, “All that’s left is to get rid of those… photos on the wall.” The woman gestured to the many framed pictures Nero had of himself on the wall, disgusted.

                Olivia nodded, “It’s probably better that he’s not… _around_ any more.”

                “Definitely so. If he was trying to groom Miss Spats, I’d hate to hear what _else_ he’d been doing.” Jacquelyn growled.

                Olivia began to take down the dusty picture frames when there was a quick knock at the door, causing both of the womans’ heads to snap to its direction.

                “Is anyone in?” Followed by a few harsh coughs. Jacquelyn threw her head back in exasperation.

                Mr. Poe.

                “Oh _for fuck’s sake-”_ The woman hissed. Olivia walked quickly over to her, “I’ll take care of it,” She whispered,

                “In a second!” Olivia called, then motioned to her love to hide somewhere.

                The man on the other side of the door heard some shuffling before the door opened slightly, revealing the spectacled woman,

                “Yes, hello, do you need something?” She asked sweetly.

                “Well, yes, I heard there was an issue with the Vice Principal going missing - long dissertation short, I’m here to retrieve the Baudelaire children.” Mr. Poe said quickly, “Who are you, exactly?”

                Olivia clenched her jaw for a moment before replying, “I’m the librarian. Here, I can go and get the children while you wait in the library!” Jacquelyn hid in the corner of the room to the right of the door, her arms crossed. She blew a piece of hair out of her face, agitated.

                “Wouldn’t it be better for me to wait here-?” Mr. Poe started, but Olivia stopped him short,

                “The office is still being cleaned at the moment, and I don’t think you’d like to wait on such an uncomfortable bench. Just follow the signs and I’ll be with you shortly.”

                Mr. Poe could tell there was no reasoning with the woman, so he merely nodded, and went on his way, coughing and hacking all the while.

                Olivia closed the door swiftly and heaved a sigh of relief,

                Though this relief was temporary,

                “What are we going to do about him?”

                Jacquelyn furrowed her brows as she walked out from the corner,

                “We’re going to take care of the man.”

                Olivia looked at her with a hint of surprise, though she knew what the woman meant.

                “I suppose that would do. He’s just going to be a hindrance if anything.”

                “That’s the entire point, love.” Jacquelyn replied.

* * *

 

                Mr. Poe observed the library as he entered - it was relatively dim and dusty, and didn’t exactly have a very _welcoming_ feel to it.

                He opted to standing near a desk covered in various papers and books, some of which were still open.

                He noticed a book nearby as he glanced down, to which he read the title _“Toxicology and You”_. Peeking out from the closed book were some neatly scribbled notes.

                “Now what kind of child would be so interested in _poisons?”_ Mr. Poe wondered aloud, staring down at the oddity.

                He shook his head and glanced around the room, at the tall shelves of books, at the messy desks, the dusty lamps - 

                Until the lights suddenly cut out.

                This shocked the man for a moment, before he let out a sigh, “Oh, bother. I knew this place was no good for the children… What am I supposed to do… wait here in the dark?” He complained, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness.

                It didn’t help that it was also very, very quiet.

                The slipping sun was the only thing lighting the dark, quiet library, to which that didn’t do much, due to the dustiness of the windows.

                The man started to feel a little uneasy.

                And when he felt uneasy, he started to cough more often.

                “It’s possibly… all this… dust!” Mr. Poe tried to reason with himself as he began to hack.

                The loud _clack_ of an opening door came from the back of the library.

                He stopped cold.

                “...Hello?”

                No answer.

                “Is… anyone there..?”

                Mr. Poe coughed into his stained kerchief twice more before he began to slowly, shakily move toward the noise.

                Some clattering was heard from behind him, causing him to whip around.

                Nothing there.

                Nothing there?

                He heard another door from the back of the library again, causing him to turn back around.

                “Oh, please, I have quite the shaky heart, don’t…” Mr. Poe began as he continued walking toward the noise.

                The farther back to the library he traveled, the lower the sun got, and as he slipped behind the last bookcase to see-

                The sun slipped below the horizon.

_SNAP_

_THNK_

                Olivia quietly stepped out from behind the bookcase dragging the body of a particularly irritating man by the shirt collar, whose head was now on in a way that… wasn’t quite right.

                She drug him over to her office door as it opened. Jacquelyn flicked on the office’s light and looked down at the man,

                “Well that was less a mess than I thought it would be.”

                Olivia smiled sweetly, “You underestimate me, love.”

                Jacquelyn nodded to her, then sighed down at the lifeless body, “Useless. I knew one of these days, either that cough or a firestarter would get to him... but it seems as though it was just us.”

                “Doing what’s necessary.” Olivia tagged on.

                “...Doing what’s necessary.” Jacquelyn agreed.

                They then worked to dispose of another body.

* * *

 

                The next day, the kids sat at their usual table, giggling and talking among each other.

                In fact, the entire cafeteria was a lot louder than usual, due to the Vice Principal suddenly going missing, and, apparently, a new Vice Principal was coming soon to take his place.

                Larry had returned to his post at the lunch line, and watched carefully as always.

                Duncan had been worrying since it happened,

                “W-what if someone figures out it was Carm?” He whispered harshly. Isadora waved him off as Violet snorted, “Don’t worry about it, bud. Do you _really_ think they’d suspect a little girl like _Carmelita_ to do something so vile?”

                “I wouldn’t say it was vile - she was simply doing her job.” Klaus noted. Violet pointed at her brother in agreement. Carmelita grinned, nodding furiously.

                Duncan sighed, “But don’t you think people are suspicious of us? We’re never really in class, and-”

                “And _nothing,_ Dunkaroo,” Violet cut him off, (Klaus giggled, “Dunkaroo? I like that.”) “They just think we’re delinquent kids. Birds of a feather flock together - all that nonsense.” Isadora nodded toward her.

                “Besides, people seem to _fear_ us, anyhow.” Klaus spoke up, “It’s like this - we can do whatever we want, and they won't bother. It’s a bad view of it, really, but, well-”

                Violet cut him off,

                “You can’t just do this shit for clout, Klaus.”

                “ _Clout Klaus…_ ” Isadora muttered from behind her face mask, to which Quigley giggled wildly.

                “ _C l o u t ?_ ” Klaus said slowly, staring at Violet with both eyebrows raised, the most offended and confused look that a preteen boy could muster.

                “Yes, _clout_ , you dumb motherfucker,” Violet spat humorously, “ _Being famous or having influence._ ”

                Klaus looked from his sister, to the Quagmires and Carmelita currently giggling uncontrollably, and back, “What the fuck are you _on_ about..?”

                “Don’t worry about it.” Violet said, trying not to grin.

                “Doesn’t matter what she’s on about or whatever the hell this conversation turned into,” Quigley said, trying to control himself, “What matters is now we don’t have to worry about seeing other kids suffer through his stupid rules!”

                “Something like that.” Violet replied.

* * *

 

                Olivia stood outside the Vice Principal’s office as she heard the voices of two women chat back and forth. This went on for a few more minutes before the door opened and Jacquelyn stepped out, “Thank you, again, I’ll get back to you on that.”

                She closed the door as Olivia looked at her. Jacquelyn motioned to her, and they began to make their way back to the library,

                “Kit will stay here for the time being -  she’ll look after the school.” Olivia gave the woman a look, “Don’t worry - I told her not to push the ‘agenda’ - And no, I haven’t… _fully_ informed her of what we’ve been doing. All she knows is that the children are going after Olaf.”

                “So… you didn’t tell her that-” Olivia started.

                “No. I think it’s better to have them believe that he disappeared.” Jacquelyn whispered in reply. Olivia merely nodded.

                “That aside, Larry has given me some… disturbing news.” Jacquelyn continued. Olivia looked worriedly at the woman.

                “Olaf is going to be making his way to 667 Dark Avenue.” She said simply, “Which means this will be a tad harder to deal with.”

                “...Why is that?” Olivia questioned nervously.

                “Because,” Jacquelyn cleared her throat, “There’s a certain woman who lives there, who’s lost something, and has gone completely _feral_ because of it.”

                Olivia blinked at her.

                “An associate of mine… stole it from her a long time ago.” Jacquelyn said, “She happened to be the Baudelaire mother.”

                Olivia grimaced, “ _Ooooh,_ that’s not…”

                “It’s sticky, yes. Definitely sticky. But… I’m sure we can work around it.” Jacquelyn said confidently, “If we can get there before he does, then we can get the jump on him.”

                “I’m guessing we’ll need disguises?” Olivia spoke carefully.

                “Yes, indeed we will.” Jacquelyn said as they made it to the library door, “If we can fool the poor woman, we can end this.”

                “...What if we can’t?” Olivia questioned, her eyebrows arched.

                “Backup plans are a wonder, sweetheart.” Jacquelyn replied, “Now let’s get the ball rolling.”

                Olivia nodded as they entered the library.

* * *

 

                The moonlight barely pierced the grimy windows of the dastardly man’s temporary abode. The only thing lighting the dilapidated room was a single lamp, its base partially broken.

                Olaf, clearly drunk, sauntered around the room triumphantly, 

                “My _dearest_ associates.” He slurred, “I am happy to inform you that a majority of my wounds have healed up quite well - little bitch couldn’t kill me if she _tried.”_

                “R-right, boss! You’re impenetrable! Made of titanium!” The hook-handed man said nervously.

                Olaf gave a wicked grin, “And, even better, the Twosome Gruesome have - are going to send in some wonderful new additions to the troupe!” The man went on, stumbling slightly.

                “Maybe you should lie down for a moment.” The person of indeterminate gender volunteered.

                The disgusting Count scoffed, “Bullshite, stupid - tonight, we celebrate my greatness! Drinks are on me..! Well, not really, but you get the point-!”

                The white faced women cackled in agreement, the bald man whooping.

                Count Olaf slumped into a chair, holding out a glass filled to the brim with dark wine, “We’ll be going to a darling associate’s of mine’s home in a few… days I think. Yes, few days… time. Exactly.” He slurred on, “And, if all goes according to plan, that fortune will be back in my hands before you can say ‘Dead Baudelaire Parents!’” He laughed, and the white faced women howled in laughter along with the vile man.

                Olaf stopped for a moment to think,

                “And perhaps… if I’m feeling up to it… I’ll spare the pretty little eldest as well.”

                The hook-handed man and the person of indeterminate gender shifted uncomfortably in their seats while exchanging worried glances between each other.

                Olaf then stood up and made a flourish with the filled glass, dumping some wine onto the already dirty, stained floor, "Aaaand perhaps once I acquire the fortune... we can have a  _huge,_ _expensive_ stage play with our newest troupe members... in my honor!"

                The white faced women and the bald man both cheered in agreement.

                “Anyways, I’m going to pass out, now. Be ready to. Go in a few days. Or something. I don’t care.” Olaf continued before crashing onto the already broken bed horizontally, passing out in his own filth.

                “ _This was a mistake._ ” The hook-handed man muttered to himself. 


	13. The Erroneous Elevator [1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cru finally "graduate" from the academy and move on to the first location of their operation - 667 Dark Avenue. An icy queen reigns over this very 'IN' penthouse.
> 
> Something is definitely fishy about this woman, and this place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Esmé seems pretty cool 🤔
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                The hazy sun shone through the dusty windows of the library that afternoon. Jacquelyn had called the kids in for a pivotal meeting - it was time to take their next steps.

                Klaus had noticed he left his toxicology book out on a table, along with his notes, and started to panic, but Violet told him that Olivia kept the library doors locked tight while they were out.

                Besides, if anyone _did_ see it, they wouldn’t even know who it was or what it was for, (“Your handwriting looks like the confused scrawlings of a dumbass, so they probably couldn’t even _read_ it in the first place, bud.”) so she told him to not worry about it.

                Jacquelyn and Olivia had been packing things up, and when the kids arrived, Jacquelyn told them to take a seat - because they’ll definitely need to be sitting.

                “Why?” Duncan questioned nervously.

                “Olaf is on the move-” Jacquelyn started,

                “ _What, when, where, and why-”_ Violet snarled, curling her hand into a single, tight fist, her knuckles turning white. Quigley placed a gentle hand on her leg.

                “-He has received some help from the Gruesome Twosome, two of the strongest firestarters on one side of the schism, and will be heading to 667 Dark Avenue to meet up with an old associate of his, mine, and your parents’.” Jacquelyn continued quickly.

                “The… _Gruesome Twosome?”_

                “Of our parents AND his?”

                “ _What the hell?_ ”

                Some scattered questions were said as Jacquelyn  placed her hands on her hips,

                “Yes, yes, and exactly. Her name is… Esmé Squalor.”

                Violet raised an eyebrow,

                “She sounds like a bitch.”

                “You could say that.” Jacquelyn said simply.

                “Epic. Let’s get a move on, then. I wanna kick this dude’s motherfuckin’ ass.” Quigley huffed. Isadora’s eyes were dark as she nodded quietly. Carmelita was nearly shaking in her seat with excitement.

                “Not so fast!” They heard Olivia’s voice come from the back of the library. She was walking over to them with a couple of duffle bags, “You’ll need disguises if you want to get the jump on him!”

                Jacquelyn smiled and nodded, “Precisely. Also, we’ll need to see how much muscle those two gave him - then we can plan accordingly.”

                Violet rolled her eyes, “Great. Love planning. Love not being able to take care of this right away.” she spat bitterly.

                Jacquelyn cleared her throat, “Would you rather die by his hands because of lack of planning, or would you rather dwindle his numbers and slaughter him?”

                The kids looked between each other.

                “As I thought.” Jacquelyn commented snidely. Olivia placed the duffle bags onto the table they surrounded,

                “You’ll need to make yourselves unrecognizable. So, I had Larry supply us with some items that are opposite to what you’re used to wearing!”

                Isadora squinted at the bags, then to her.

                “I know, I know - but it’s only for a little while! I’m sure once it’s all said and done, everything will be just peachy.” Olivia said sweetly.

                Carmelita peaked into one of the duffle bags and let out a loud squeal, causing Duncan to lean away from her with wide eyes, “Hello?” he commented. Quigley snorted.

                “ _These are SO_ **_CUTE_ ** _.”_ Carmelita shrieked, causing Violet to flinch back slightly, squeezing one eye shut and bringing her hand to her ear.

                “Cute? _Cute?_ Oh, _no-”_ Isadora suddenly spoke out, pulling down her face mask.

                Violet shook her head at Carmelita before turning to Isadora, “Listen, it’s just for a bit. We just need to see who Captain Jackass has dragged along with him.”

                Isadora merely replaced her face mask, glaring.

                “Don’t look at me like that, sweetie. Gotta do what we gotta do.” Violet snipped, crossing her arms and leaning back into her chair.

                “If you’re all done - go get packed up. You’ll be taking the tunnels with Olivia, and I’ll be going ahead as a lookout.” Jacquelyn instructed, “Rolling up in the Snicket cab isn’t exactly the _best_ idea.”

                “True.” Violet agreed.

                “Then we outtie.” Quigley said, then picking up Violet bridal style, who playfully objected to this.

                “Can you two _PLEASE_ get a room?” Klaus said in agony, getting up. Duncan grabbed his hand and pulled him along. Sunny let out an annoyed huff as she slipped off the table she was sitting on.

                “Vivi and Quiggle, sittin’ in a tree~” Carmelita began to chant as she got up. Isadora chuckled as she pushed Carmelita forward.

                “Do _not_ start that - I _swear_ I WILL _SKIN YOU ALIVE.”_ Violet shouted from Quigley’s arms, peaking over his shoulder and pointing back at Carmelita, who laughed loudly.

                Olivia smiled at the group, picking up the bags. Jacquelyn went back into the office to pack things up.

                The librarian’s smile faltered.

_What had these children gotten themselves into..._

* * *

 

                “Smells like shit.” Violet commented plainly as they walked through the tunnels to 667 Dark Avenue. Vernal was happy to finally be able to freely sit on her shoulders, again, and was lapping at the air with their tongue.

                “Yeah - you’ll get used to it.” Quigley said, “These tunnels apparently go everywhere in the relative area. If we follow the signs, we should be able to get to Esmé’s pretty soon.”

                “I’m guessing we’ll be changing into our disguises down here?” Duncan asked, wringing his hands.

                Olivia looked back for a moment, “Yes! Don’t worry about us getting lost - they seem to have made it quite simple to make your way around…” She said, but then faltered slightly, “Oh… I really hope we don’t run into any volunteers _or_ firestarters down here…”

                “Me neither.” Duncan piped up.

                Klaus looked at Duncan with worried eyes, “Are you alright?”

                “Y-yeah! I’m just… I just have the jitters… a little bit. I guess?” Duncan replied, trying to force a smile.

                Klaus took the boy’s hand in both of his, “You’ll be ok. We’re going to be ok.”

                Duncan smiled gently.

                “I’m here.” Klaus whispered.

                They walked for a few more minutes, turning this way and that, following the signs (And Quigley’s instincts.) to the best of their ability, before they came to a ladder with a sign marked _667 Dark Avenue_. Violet said something about the odd convenience of it all, to which Olivia agreed.

                The kids changed into their disguises, and upon seeing each other, laughed like hell. It was definitely the opposite of what they were used to wearing - a bright contrast in color and aesthetic - They definitely wouldn’t be recognized… they hoped.

                

                Isadora _tried_ an attempt at a sort of… pastel grunge twist. Violet made fun of Klaus for a good few minutes. Sunny kept trying to pull at the large curls in her hair while Quigley tried to keep her from doing so.

                “Nice eyepatch, babe.” Violet noted to Quigley, slipping Vernal into her purse, who was letting out irritated hisses. She tried to apologize to the cobra, explaining that they couldn’t be seen. They eventually slinked into the purse in defeat.

                Quigley laughed, “Well Duncan has a face mask like Isa - you tryna look tough, lil bro?”

                Duncan huffed from beside Klaus, who was trying to adjust his glasses, “You’re only older than me by a few minutes - and _no_ I’m _not!_ Now stop making fun of each other.”

                Carmelita skipped around them, “You all look so _very_ cute - but... _I_ am the _cutest!!”_ she said, pulling at her hat and twirling a strand of the long wig she wore.

                Violet smiled, “I dunno… you may have some others beating you out.”

                “This wig itches.” Klaus said simply, “Why did I have to go and look like I’m ready to go to town on a piano?”

                Violet burst out laughing, “You look like a dumbass!”

                “I do _not_ look like a _dumbass-”_

                Duncan placed a hand on Klaus’s shoulder,

                “You kinda do, babe.”

                Klaus looked bewildered at Duncan,

                “ _Don’t take her side - what!?”_

                This squabbling went on for a few more minutes before the walkie talkie Olivia had crackled to life. Jacquelyn informed them that the plan was now on the move - Olaf would arrive the next day.

                And it was probably best if the Baudelaires avoided him for now.

                Violet snarled at this suggestion, but didn’t want their plan to go to hell.

                The kids climbed up the ladder, discreetly making their way outside. Olivia did the same, told them good luck, and that she and Jacquelyn would be their eyes. She then gave Isadora and Carmelita their own walkie talkies.

                “Don’t lose these.” The spectacled woman said, “Good luck.”

                After she left, they moved to the front of the very, _very_ tall building. Violet looked up quietly, blankly.

                “Well, let’s go. We know our story. Try not to fuck it up, guys.” Quigley said.

                “Implying I ever fuck anything up.” Violet said suddenly.

                “Are you guys talking about me? You better not be talking about me.” Carmelita babbled as they walked up to the front doors.

                “No I was thinking more of like. Duncan.” Quigley answered.

                “Shut _uuuuup_.” Duncan whined at his brother. Violet snorted as they went inside.

                The lobby was… oddly dark. Dozens of candles were lit throughout, and even went up the staircase. It was very quiet, and not a soul was there, save for the doorman.

                “...Is the power out?” Klaus asked, looking around, perplexed.

                “No, actually! Mrs. Squalor says that dark is ‘IN’ and light is ‘OUT’.” A familiar voice came from the lobby’s desk, causing the kids to whip around.

                “Hello! I’m the doorman of this building. Can I help you?” Larry asked.

                The kid’s eyes widened as some of them looked at each other in surprise. Violet cleared her throat,

                “Yes, I am Lilac. These are my associates. We were sent ahead of a certain person to make sure that Mrs. Squalor is ready for him?” She made her voice a little higher, and far sweeter than what she was used to. This made Klaus snort softly. She threw him a glare.

                “Ah, Mr. Gunter will be arriving soon, I presume? Excellent! Mrs. Squalor will be happy to welcome you. I apologize, but the elevator is out… permanently it seems. You will have to take the stairs. Please pace yourselves.” Larry motioned from the elevator to the stairs with a truly apologetic look on this face.

                Violet’s eye twitched. _Fucking incredible._

                “Thank you _very_ much, good sir. Have a pleasant day~!”

                The rest of the group were trying not to laugh at her, Quigley especially.

                As they made their way up the stairs, more and more candles were seen. They took a pause for the cause at every instance of a new floor. “ _Lilac?_ Really, Vi? That’s just another _flower._ Are you _trying_ to get us caught?” Klaus whispered to her once. Violet glared at him, “Like you have a better fake name?”

                “I’ll call myself Nick, then.” Klaus rose his eyebrows, faking a british accent.

                “...What’s with the accent.” Violet squinted at him.

                “For funsies.” He said in the same accent.

                “Holy shit, dude.”

                They continued to climb up the plethora of stairs.

                Duncan complained several times, Quigley recommended climbing up the elevator shaft twice, Sunny was eventually put into the backpack he had on his back, and Isadora contemplated giving up a few times, absolutely annoyed.

                They eventually got up all the steps nearly thirty or so minutes later, Duncan letting out a soft wail and collapsing onto his hands and knees. Carmelita skipped past the rest of the tired crew,

                “Why’re you guys such babies?” She said energetically, “I thought Jacky trained you guys better?”

                Violet raised an annoyed eyebrow at the girl,

                “The hell?”

                The short girl merely grinned.

                After they took a few minutes to regain their energy, the kids decided to figure out the rest of their fake names.

                Carmelita decided on Rose, Isadora and Duncan settled on Mona and Felix respectively. Quigley chose Chava. Violet asked Sunny what she wanted her’s to be, to which the toddler replied, “Don’t care.”

                “Let’s go with Solitude, then.”

                “Solitude.” Klaus said simply, looking at her with a weary face.

                “Ideas?” Violet asked mockingly.

                “Oh fuck off.” Klaus whispered. Quigley cackled.

                “Alright, let’s just get this shitshow on the road.” Violet said quietly.

                The group went up to the large doors, Violet ringing a small buzzer beside them.

                There was a minute or so of silence before a tall, slim man with a cleanly groomed mustache and a white suit opened the door. He looked like a very friendly man, but seemed a tad nervous.

                “Oh! Hello! Who are you all, might I ask?” The man said, looking at the pastel mess before him.

                “We are some of Mr. Gunter’s associates, sent ahead to make sure everything was ready for his arrival.” Violet explained, “We apologize for _our_ sudden arrival - we’re merely following orders!”

                The man cleared his throat, “Ah, right, well, please, come in! Please!” He said, motioning them inside, “I am Jerome Squalor, Esmé Squalor’s husband. I am… so sorry about the stairs, I sure you’re incredibly tired.”

                The kids all made their way inside, Sunny still sitting in Quigley’s backpack, holding onto his shoulders, “Bothersome.” She said simply, which possibly meant, “ _You have no Earthly idea.”_

                “Yes, again, I am _so_ sorry, if I had known you were coming, I would have met with you in the lobby! Goodness-” Jerome explained, closing the doors behind them.

                He was cut off by a shrill voice from beyond the foyer,

                “ _Jerooooome_ darling? Who is at the door? Did Gunter come early? Oh _do_ tell me he came early-”

                A woman with golden blonde hair and piercing eyes walked through another set of doors, wearing a bustling pastel outfit. She clapped her hands together before stepping quickly over to them,

                

                “Oh, you must be some of Gunter’s little helpers! I see you are knowledgeable of what’s ‘IN’ as well! Pastels are all the rage right now, right, darling?” The woman asked Jerome, who quickly nodded.

                “I am Esmé Gigi Geniveve Squalor, the city’s _sixth_ most important financial advisor, but you, my little darlings, may just call me Esmé.” She spoke quickly, smiling at the group of kids.

                Violet tried not to turn her face up in disgust as she spoke, “Pleasant to meet you, Esmé! I am Lilac, and these are my dear friends and associates, Nick, Soli, Mona, Chava, Felix, and Rose. Mr. Gunter will be arriving tomorrow, along with the rest of our associates.”

                Esmé grinned deviously, “Excellent! Quite pleasant indeed! Oh, Jerome, that sugar bowl is as good as _mine!_ ” Jerome made an anxious noise.

                Klaus blinked in confusion, and Violet took this opportunity to pull information.

                They had read about the infamous sugar bowl in _the book,_ and clearly, this item was of utmost importance.

                “Oh, yes, the sugar bowl! We _must_ go over the plan once Gunter arrives, yes? However - my memory can be a tad fuzzy from now and then… why must you find this precious thing?” Violet asked sweetly.

                Esmé laughed, “Oh, right, you are just little darlings - the bowl was before your time - it was _mine_ you see. Come, come with me, let’s get you some refreshments and I’ll tell you a little tale-”

                She was interrupted by a newspaper that was flung before her feet - 

**_Dark is OUT, light is IN!_ **

                Esmé shrieked, “ _OH MY GOD!_ Turn the lights on! TURN ALL THE LIGHTS ON! Cut down the trees out front-!”

                Isadora’s eyes turned from already dark to even darker, deeply annoyed by the vapid woman’s aura. Duncan shuffled worriedly behind Klaus as Quigley started to quietly giggle, trying not to outright cackle.

                Violet felt the corner of her eye twitch. _This is going to destroy me._

* * *

 

                “ _So_ sorry for that, darlings. You see, it’s so _very_ important to stay ‘IN’, you see, being an important figure in today’s society.” Esmé gabbed, leading them into the living area of her penthouse.

                At least they didn’t have to deal with a plethora of candles anymore.

                “It’s quite alright, we understand fully.” Klaus spoke up.

                Esmé laughed, “Of course! Now, come on then, I’ll tell you all about my precious sugar bowl, yes?”

                They sat in the living room (She offered them something called ‘parsley soda’, which tasted absolutely disgusting. Once again, it was an ‘IN’ item.)  while the woman went on and on about how she got the sugar bowl, and how much she loved it, describing it in _great_ detail - 

                But never told them what was _in_ the bowl.

                Eventually, she got to the part where she… lost it.

                Or - how it was _stolen_ from her.

                “Then, that _bitch BEATRICE-”_ Esmé began venomously, “ _STOLE IT FROM ME-”_

                The Baudelaire’s eyes widened in surprise. 

                Their… _mother?_

                Their mother _stole_ the sugar bowl from Esmé?

                “Why would she do that?” Violet blurted out, without thinking. She immediately covered her mouth. Klaus swallowed.

                “Because she _hated_ my _GUTS.”_ Esmé shook furiously, “The sugar bowl was _vitally important_ to the organization and she **_stole_ ** **it from me.** ”

                “Do you really think she… hated you that much?” Klaus asked carefully, remembering to keep up his accent.

                Esmé merely looked at the boy in a rage. Klaus looked at her eyes - 

                There was a mixture of hatred and sadness in them.

                “I see.” He said simply.

                Esmé then threw up both of her hands, “ _But-!_ It’s all coming together in my favor, now… she recently perished in a fire!” The woman said giddily.

                The Baudelaires suddenly felt a jolt of anger rush through them.

_Keep it under control._

                “Now, then,” Esmé said, clearing her throat, “Once Gunter arrives, we’ll be discussing his little game plan. In order for me to receive the sugar bowl, I must help him get rid of some particularly unruly children - awful little things, the lot.”

                The kids looked at her.

                “Oh, you though, you’re all _darling,_ pardon me.” Esmé said sweetly.

                Violet merely nodded, a well of twisted, confused emotions knotted up in her stomach.

                “Let me show you to your quarters, darlings, come along, then!” The woman said, standing up and smoothing out her dress.

* * *

 

                The kids were lead to a fairly large room with three large beds, a varying, expensive looking furniture and odds and ends. Isadora stood beside the closed door to keep an ear out.

                Klaus sunk into the sofa, staring down at his lap.

                “Well that was a ride and a half.” Quigley said, pulling his eyepatch up, “ _Ogh,_ light’s bright for this eye - shit-”

                Duncan pulled Sunny from Quigley’s pack and placed her on the sofa beside Klaus, “Are… are you guys ok..?” The boy said, pulling down his face mask.

                “No.” Violet answered,

                “We’re not ok, Duncan. We’re not half ok, we’re not even 1/27th ok.” She spat, walking over to one of the beds and sitting down abruptly. Vernal slid slightly out of her purse and rested a worried head on her arm.

                The rest of the kids were silent.

                “Your mom had to have done it for a good reason, though.” Quigley went and sat beside her, placing a comforting hand on her leg, “Esmé is _clearly_ someone to… not be trusted.”

                “What if she used to be, though?” Klaus asked suddenly, “What was the reason that mother had to take the bowl from her? Clearly, there are some things that the book can’t answer for us.”

                Carmelita fiddled with her wig, “Maybe if we try’n pull more information out of her we can figure that out or somethin’?”

                Violet threw her head back in anguish, “I didn’t expect this to be so _complicated!_ I just wanted to slaughter a disgusting fucking pedo-piece-of- _shit-”_

                “And we’ll get there.” Quigley noted, “We’re so close - The second we’ve taken out his troupe members and his back is turned, we’ll slit his throat.”

                Violet rolled her eyes, sneering, “Motherfucker is slippery as hell. For all _we_ know, Esmé could be onto us.”

                This caused fear to shoot through Duncan, “D-don’t say that!” He whispered fiercely.

                There was another void of silence for a few minutes.

                “...I don’t think what mother did matters much, honestly.” Violet snipped, “Besides, it’s petty, and we have a job to do. At whatever cost.”

                The others either silently nodded or made an agreeing noise.

                At whatever cost.

                Klaus felt something sink into the pit of his stomach -

_But what if there was more to this… than just that?_

* * *

 

                For the next two hours the group spoke about various game plans. It would all depend on how many people Olaf would bring, what weapons they had (If they had any at all.), if these people were trained and built for fighting, and dozens of other points.

                The one issue they had was an escape. The elevator was clearly a no go, unless they wanted to create a risky way to fall down the shaft - all seven of them - and land safely, assuming there was a way out at the bottom. The windows were also a bad idea (Once again, a safe landing, _but_ there was a definite way out.). There were a lot of risks to be taken with this entire ordeal, but they were willing to take them, no matter the circumstance.

                Jerome came to them after those two hours, leading them to the ‘main’ dining room for dinner.

                There was a plethora of food out on the table, though they were all ‘IN’ dishes (Thankfully, though, some of them were actually pleasing to the taste, unlike the salmon water or the baked apple soup.).

                Most of the meal was spent with Esmé going on and on about her work, various ‘IN’ events and items (Something about an ‘IN’ auction being in a few days, one of which she would be hosting.), and Carmelita commenting happily all along the way, much to Violet and Isadora’s annoyance. The two girls whispered to each other or communicated by eye while the woman went on and on, Carmelita distracting Esmé whenever she could.

                Klaus and Duncan related heavily to Jerome’s anxious air, and they occasionally exchanged worried glances.

                When the dinner was over, the kids returned to their room.

                “We need to make a run down of all the rooms in this place.” Violet said when the others gathered in front of her, “Quigley, you can memorize the layout, yeah?”

                Quigley nodded, “Piece of cake, babe.”

                “Excellent. Duncan, can you take notes on the room’s contents, and the members once they arrive?”

                Duncan smiled and nodded.

                “Epic. Klaus, take inventory, and when they all get here, count up the number of cronies. Isadora, keep a close eye to see if they slink off somewhere to hide.”

                Klaus shot her a thumbs up, getting up to look at their weapon stash, and Isadora saluted her.

                “I’ll be dreaming up some plans in my sleep tonight, and we’ll need to wake up early tomorrow. Five O’clock on the dot, he’ll probably arrive late. Carm, can you do me a favor?”

                Carmelita grinned up at her, nodding furiously.

                “You’re excellent at distractions. Keep blondie and fuckface busy with whatever buttery nonsense you can, whenever you need to. Got that?”

                “Hell yeah.” Carmelita said excitedly.

                Violet slowly took in a deep breath, and then let it out,

                “Let’s get some sleep after a productive hour, ya’ll. Tomorrow… it’s game time.”

                “ _Hell_ yeah!” Quigley let out, high-fiving Carmelita.


	14. The Erroneous Elevator [2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cru thinks they have their shit together, but somethin's fucky..........

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's go time, baybeeeeee.
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                Five O’clock, on the dot, as Violet had said.

                Everyone was up and moving in the room early that morning, Violet got ahold of Jacquelyn and Olivia via her walkie talkie, and gave them the run down on their plan. Jacquelyn commended them on their quick thinking, and said she and Olivia would be on the lookout for Olaf’s arrival.

                “Try your hardest to not break character. That’s always the most difficult part of being undercover.” Jacquelyn coached through the device, “We’ll let you know right away when he has arrived. Olivia is scouting the lobby, I’m on the rooftops. Stay safe. Good luck.”

                “Thanks, Jacky.” Violet said before the line cut out.

                Around her the others were bustling about, trying to get ready for the day to come. Klaus was filling up his syringes and lining the inside of his sweater with darts. Isadora opened the window and called for her crows, attaching her chains to her belt under her jacket. Duncan strapped his blade to his back, Quigley putting he and his brother’s commonplace books into his backpack, as well as some knives, as well as strapping some knives to his own sides.

                Carmelita strapped her bat to her back, and watched as Violet strapped herself with two pistols, four knives, and slid Vernal into the purse she wore. The cobra decided it was best to accept its fate at this point.

                “I’m sure this won’t be too hard.” Carmelita said, looking around and the armed and ready cru.

                “One can only hope. The bastard’s a big joke.” Isadora rhymed from behind her mask.

                “Exactly, we should be perfectly fine. All we need to do is stay on task, stay focused and be ready to fall onto the backup plan if needed.” Violet said sternly.

                “Backup plan?” Duncan asked.

                “Run like hell. Live to fight another day.” Violet remarked plainly.

                Duncan blinked, and Klaus shrugged, “Makes sense to me, sis.”

                “Let’s move. Hopefully Esmé isn’t awake just yet, but the woman’s unpredictable, so who the hell knows.” Violet said as they all gathered at the door,

                “And remember. Stay calm. Stay cool. Don’t be a dumbass.”

                They all nodded. Violet opened the door, and off they went.

* * *

 

                Violet, Carmelita, and Isadora each had walkie talkies, so they decided to split up. Violet and Quigley (With Sunny in his backpack. “Sunny, leave my knives alone - _Sunny-”_ ) went to the center area, Carmelita and Duncan went leftmost, and Isadora and Klaus went rightmost.

                Carmelita skipped down the hallway with Duncan following behind, trying to keep up with her.

                “How can you be so… _energetic_ this early in the morning?” Duncan said tiredly. Carmelita giggled,

                “When you’re excited about murder, it’s easy to be awake!”

                “R-right…”

                Suddenly, one of the doors opened, causing Duncan to nearly jump out of his skin.

                “Oh, hello Mr. Squalor! It’s nice to see you. You slept well, I assume?” Carmelita began.

                Jerome had nearly jumped out of his skin as well, but settled down once he noticed it was only two of the children that had arrived yesterday,

                “Oh-! Yes, well, mostly. Rose and… Felix, was it?” Jerome said carefully.

                “Indeed, Mr. Squalor! We decided to go exploring for a bit, if you don’t mind? This is such a _big_ place.” Carmelita continued. Jerome nodded, “Oh, yes, the penthouse is very large indeed.”

                The man stopped to think for a moment, Duncan stepping to Carmelita’s side.

                “Why are children like yourselves… helping them?” Jerome asked, “There are far better things to be doing than this… if you don’t mind me saying.”

                Duncan cleared his throat, “Well, you see, we’re training. For a mission.” He tried. He squinted his eyes shut. Carmelita rolled her eyes harshly,

                “We can’t disclose a lot of information, but you can _surely_ trust us, Mr. Squalor. We’ll take care of everything, _don’t worry.”_ The red head said, grinning sweetly.

                Jerome swallowed, a smidge anxious, “I… see… well, uhm, do enjoy exploring. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call for me.”

                “Of course, sir.” Duncan squeaked.

                Jerome then quickly walked past them, down the hall.

                As soon as he was out of sight, Carmelita slugged Duncan in the arm, “The _fuck_ was that, D!?” She whispered harshly.

                He rubbed his arm gingerly, arching his brows, “Look - I _panicked_ a little, ok? I’m not good at this kind of stuff…”

                “Well _GIT GUD_ before I _make you_.” The girl hissed at him. He merely groaned as they continued walking.

                Back with Violet, Quigley, and Sunny, they came upon the living room, where Esmé was already up, reading the Daily Punctilio.

                “Oh. Wonderful. Great.” Violet hissed under her breath. Quigley rolled his eyes, “If you don’t want to bother with her just yet, then don’t. We have bigger things to worry about. Besides, I just need to see each of the rooms for a moment to get a good layout of the place.”

                Violet nodded, “At least we know she’s awake. Let’s keep moving.” 

                Sunny agreed softly.

                For the next few minutes, the three went from hallway to hallway, peeking into room after room, Quigley scribbling in his commonplace book, and making mental notes and images of the penthouse’s layout.

                When they opened another door, they were surprised by Jerome, who was busily making coffee.

                “Oh! Hello there! Did you need something?” He asked, after getting over his heart nearly jumping out of his throat.

                “Apologies, Jerome, we were just looking for the kitchen - looks like we finally found it, Chava.” Violet said, pulling a silently objecting Quigley in,

                “Soli was complaining about being hungry, so we decided it was best to get an early morning snack, hm?” She continued, looking back to Sunny, who nodded along.

                “Ah, that’s perfectly fine, Lilac. I do find it a tad odd that you have a toddler with you, though.” Jerome said.

                Quigley blinked, “She’s an orphan. We found her.”

                Violet nearly slapped her forehead with her hand.

                “Goodness, I’m so sorry… hopefully she’s found a good home with you children. Though, it must be hard for a group of children to take care of a toddler.” The man said sympathetically.

                Violet bit the inside of her cheek, “We manage, no worries.” Quigley nodded quickly.

                “However,” Violet began,

                Clearly, Jerome was not part of Olaf’s plan,

                “We must have a little discussion with you. Can you keep a good secret, Jerome?”

                Jerome gulped at her,

                “I… suppose?”

                “Excellent.” Violet smiled, “Here’s the deal.”

* * *

 

                Klaus and Isadora wandered down their own corridors, Isadora stepping quickly, but carefully. She had placed her crows in the foyer, silently watching from the ceiling.

                “So… what’s the plan?” Klaus asked the girl ahead of him softly.

                She looked ahead, then behind them, then to him, and pulled her face mask down,

                “The others eye theirs, the two will call the first, the first will call the rest, and all will be in motion.” Isadora said without missing a beat. Klaus blinked at her for a second before making a sort of “Ooooh.” noise.

                The girl replaced her face mask and continued ahead of him.

                “So… what is it we’re doing?”

                Isadora looked back at him with an annoyed glare.

                “Wh- I’m sorry, ok?” Klaus stuttered.

                She pulled down her face mask, again, slightly,

                “Watching for the arrival. Counting the area.” She said vaguely, then replacing the mask.

                He was a smart boy. He’d figure it out.

                And he did. Took him a minute, but he did.

 _Watch for Olaf’s arrival, figure out how many rooms there are, see if any of them can help us._ Klaus thought.

_Cool. Ok. We got this._

                He swallowed.

_I think._

* * *

 

                Jacquelyn sat out on one of the ledges of the building, eyeing the street carefully with her spyglass. The sun was rising quickly, and the morning streets were bustling with vehicles and people of all kinds - which would make it hard for an untrained eye to spot what they’re looking for.

                Thankfully, this eye was _very_ well trained.

                The woman clicked on her walkie talkie,

                “Librarian.” She spoke.

                The device crackled,

                “Spy.” Olivia spoke back.

                “How’s the ground looking?” Jacquelyn asked, still eyeing the streets.

                “Boring. Not any sight of him, yet.”

                “Anyone else?”

                “Not anyone suspicious, so far - _wait-”_ Olivia suddenly went silent for a minute, causing Jacquelyn to look down to the entrance.

                A group of people got out of a gray van - 

                The troupe members.

                “Alert- ALERT WAITER.” Jacquelyn said quickly, nearly shouting.

                Olivia’s line cut out, and she saw the other woman slide into the front doors.

                Inside, Olivia ran over to a now scared looking Larry,

                “Abandon your post - they will recognize you - the troupe members are here.” She said as he scrambled.

                “That means Olaf and the rest of his new group will be here, soon! We need to let the children know right away-” Larry cried.

                “Exactly.” Olivia said, “ I’ll be hiding here, you get back to the tunnels, I’ll let them know.”

                Larry nodded, and slipped off. Olivia quickly climbed up a supporting column of the stairs, sliding into a nook of the wall, and turned on the walkie talkie.

* * *

 

                Violet had just finished explaining the situation to Jerome, who was following along in shock and awe, when the walkie talkie in her dress pocket crackled to life,

                “ _VIOLENT.”_

                This caused Jerome to jump as Violet snatched the device and switched it on,

                “They’re here, I’m guessing?”

                “Yes - the troupe members. The others are on the way, I’m sure.”

                “All of them?”

                There was a pause,

                “Yes, all of the original troupe members.”

                “ _Shit.”_ Violet hissed, “Noted. Plan needs to be put into action. Prepare all escape routes on your side.”

                “Roger.” Olivia said before cutting out.

                “Fuck.” Sunny said simply from Quigley’s back.

                Jerome watched as Violet quickly fiddled with the walkie talkie, 

                “Cru.” She said urgently, “Plan is in motion, secure all escape routes on your sides, weapons at the ready. Original troupe is here, the others sure to follow. Be on alert. Code orange.”

                There was a couple of “Roger”s from the device before Violet spoke again,

                “Be ready to kill. Do not hold back. Over.”

                The teen then looked to Jerome, who was now white as a sheet,

                “Should I hide?”

                Violet and Quigley looked from him to each other and back.

                “Yeah.” Quigley said dryly.

* * *

 

                The troupe walked through the front doors to find an empty lobby.

                “No doorman?” One of the white faced women said. “Abhorred service.” Continued the other.

                “That’s less we’ll have to worry about.” The bald man said, taking his new place behind the counter, “Hand me the disguise.”

                The hook handed man looked around the lobby with an anxious feeling, the person of indeterminate gender lugging in two large bags, another bag on their back.

                “I suppose we should make our way up.” One of the white faced women spoke again. “Agreed, though it will be such a pain.” Said the other.

                “It’ll be worth it. Mrs. Squalor is waiting - we don’t want to keep her!” The bald man said quickly. The white faced women nodded and began the upward climb.

                The hook handed man kept looking around the room when he noticed a figure hiding in the nook of the wall.

                His eyes widened for a moment before the figure glanced at him, held a finger to her lips, and slipped further inward.

                “What’re you lookin’ at?” The bald man suddenly asked, causing him to jump.

                “Just! All the stairs! There are… a _lot_ of stairs.” The hook handed man spoke, smiling nervously.

                “Good thing we aren’t climbin’ them, then.” He replied.

                The hook handed man nodded quickly.

_They’re here already._

* * *

 

                “There are 12 saferooms, three of which are good for window escapes, four of which we can definitely hideout in, the others are tricky.” Klaus said quickly into the walkie talkie.

                “The rest of the rooms that _aren't_ 'saferooms'?” Violet asked.

                “Isadora broke the doorknobs on them as we went. that should buy us time and save us from playing hide-and-seek with them. Jerome’s hiding in one of the rooms with a broken knob. He should be safe.”

                “Excellent. Come back to the middle.” Violet spoke.

                Each of the groups had staked out the penthouse the remainder of that morning, and as they thought, Olaf was arriving fashionably late.

                “I’ve memorized the layout. Simple stuff - seems like it’s all in one weird eye shape - the straightaways will give us some good time to trap them, but we could get trapped ourselves.” Quigley said. Violet nodded.

                “I’m glad to report that none of the rooms have hidden weapons, and Carmelita has collected some pretty nice knives and cleavers from the kitchens.” Duncan spoke.

                “Epic. Come back to the middle.” Violet said, then cutting the communication of her walkie talkie. She shoved it back into her pocket.

                “Oh shit, more knives.” Quigley said happily, “Now _this_ is _epic._ ” Violet snorted at him.

                She, Quigley, and Sunny stood just outside the living room, where Esmé still sat. The doors were closed by this point.

                Carmelita came skipping up to them, to which Violet greeted her,

                “You’ll need to distract Esmé and those white faced women. Have fun.”

                Carmelita gave a thumbs up before slipping into the living room.

                Duncan watched as the red head enter the room, “Where are the others?”

                Violet looked past Quigley, “Bookworm and Crow, there you are.”

                “Funny. Great. Now, we need to make sure we don’t seem too suspicious.” Klaus said as he and Isadora walked up to them.

                “Just act natural. Not that hard.” Violet said, shrugging. Klaus blinked.

                “...Do your best.” She said, staring at him with a bored expression.

                They listened as Carmelita worked her magic inside, occasionally exchanging soft jokes and giggles, when the doorbell suddenly went off.

                “I’ve got it - chill _out_ holy shit-” Violet said as the others scattered to other parts of the foyer.

                Violet took a deep breath before opening the doors before her, and there stood the two white faced women. Sunny let out a low growl.

                “What a darling little dear, who might you be?” Asked one of them. “I don’t recall that we’d be receiving any _young_ help.” The other noted.

                “The Two sent us as a precaution.” Violet said sweetly, “These are my associates. We’ll be _happy_ to assist you!”

                “Quite darling indeed!” The second complimented. “Send them our regards.” The first smiled.

                “Of course!” Violet spoke as they moved inside, “Mrs. Squalor is currently speaking with one of my associates inside, she will be with you shortly.”

                Quigley gave a quick knock on the door, and a moment later, the doors swung open,

                “Rose, darling, you are _such_ a little peach! Now, if I wasn’t already happy as a clam, I would have adopted you _right_ away.” Esmé gabbed as she waltzed out with a grinning Carmelita. The woman then went to the two troupe members and greeted them.

                Quigley gave a nod to Carmelita, who nodded back.

                Isadora made some hand motions from behind Esmé while the white faced women were distracted, and Violet winked at her.

                “-And where _is_ Jerome? Usually he’s the one to do door greetings, I’m so sorry, darlings.” Esmé said in the middle of her rambling, looking about.

                “He went out to have a bite to eat,” Carmelita spoke up, “He didn’t want to get in the way.”

                Esmé pouted, “Oh, bother. Well, no matter! His loss. One less thing to worry about, I think.” She flashed her trademark smile before leading the white-faced women into the living room, to which Quigley closed the doors.

                “Kill them?” Sunny spoke up.

                “Not yet.” Violet said softly, “Quigley, stay with me, we’re gonna go listen at the stairs. Klaus, Duncan, stand in front of the left and right entrances. Carm, keep watch on the doors.

                There were some agreeing motions before they moved to their positions.

* * *

 

                Olivia watched as the other troupe members moved to their positions, and spoke softly into the walkie talkie,

                “Spy. Bald headed one is at the desk. Hooks and indeterminate stand on either side of the entrance. Hook has spotted me, but seems to be trustworthy. Hasn’t said anything about me as of yet.”

                Jacquelyn hissed, but then spoke quickly, “Don’t move,”

                She looked down at the streets,

                “I don’t see anything as of yet.”

                “Stay alert.” Olivia whispered.

                “Roger.”

                Jacquelyn continued to scan the streets below her. A familiar taxi cruised lazily down the road before the building. She rolled her eyes.

                Two large, black cars and a junky looking cruiser rolled up.

                The woman’s breathing stopped for a second as she clicked on her walkie talkie and brought it to her face,

                 _“The Demon has arrived.”_

                She heard a collection of harsh whispers from the device as she stared at the exiting bodies.


	15. The Erroneous Elevator [3]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOW IS THE TIME TO PANIC.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REALLY THO
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                 _“The Demon has arrived.”_

                Jacquelyn’s voice echoed through Olivia, Violet, Isadora, and Carmelita’s walkie talkies, to which Violet responded by immediately grabbing it, and Olivia’s voice hissed over it,

                “How many? _How many?”_

                Violet glared at the device.

                “...22.”

                “ _FUCK. Fuck. Fuuuuck.”_ Violet swore violently, “It begins now. Ready your weapons. Carm, barricade that door. Klaus, Duncan, no time to be crybaby pussies.”

                “ _Hey!”_

                “Shut it. Olivia, Jacky, be ready to provide backup. Game time people. _Get. Fucking._ **_Moving._ **”

                Violet then shut off the device and shoved it into her pocket, pulling a pistol and a knife from her person.

                She and Quigley listened intently before Violet flicked her hand back at Quigley, and they quickly reentered the penthouse, leaving the entrance doors open, and motioned for the others to get to their places.

                Isadora whistled softly to Mischief and Mayhem, who came flapping down and settled on her shoulders as Carmelita finished up silently barricading the door. Isadora, Klaus, and Duncan moved down the right hallway. Violet, Quigley, Sunny, and Carmelita went to the left.

                They each slipped into their own room, rechecking the doors with broken knobs.

                The foyer was deathly silent.

* * *

 

                Jacquelyn was silently making her way up the side of the building, and Olivia watched as the group of people followed Olaf up the stairs. She counted each one as they passed her, a feeling of dread creeping up the back of her neck. the figures wore dark maroon suits with odd fox-like masks bearing red markings. They were silent.

                

                These weren’t just normal goons.

                These were definitely people sent by the Gruesome Twosome.

                And they meant business.

_These people were trained killers._

**_And they were sent to kill these children._ **

                Olivia’s heart shot up into her throat, fear cutting through her body like she had fallen into a pit of spikes.

                Twenty two.

                There were indeed twenty two of these people, their dark suits resembling that of dried blood, the eyes of their masks seemed to be dripping of it.

                The spectacled woman silently clicked on her walkie talkie, and whispered the information to Violet.

                Back outside, Jacquelyn shimmied carefully past windows, dread clawing deeply into her with every movement upwards.

                She had a very grim feeling about this.

                Inside, the kids each waited in their own room, hiding,

                Watching,

                Waiting.

                Violet’s walkie talkie crackled to life,

                “V-Violet… who's down there..?” Carmelita’s voice came through the device.

                Violet sighed and took it into her hand.

                “Who's coming?” The girl whispered.

                Violet bit the inside of her cheek before clicking on the channel - 

                “These people… they have… these dark red suits and some masks.”

                “ _Masks?”_

                “I don’t think they’re…”

                Violet stuttered for a moment,

                “They’re professionals, Carm.”

                The other end was silent. Violet could feel the girl’s worry.

                “They’re assassins. Probably trained by the Twosome.”

                It was silent again. For a while.

                “...I don’t want to die, Violet.”

                Violet’s face fell into a vexed look,

                “You won’t. We won’t. It’s not going to fucking happen.”

                “...Ok.”

* * *

 

                After what seemed like an eternity, Olaf came upon the top of the stairs, only to be greeted by wide open doors.

                He ceased his incessant talking, pulled at his tie, and raised one side of his brow,

                “ _Well_ , then. I suppose she couldn’t be bothered to come greet us.” He said gruffly as they walked through the threshold and into the desolate foyer, surveying the barricaded door before him.

                “Or… someone is already here.” He said slowly.

                The group of suits looked quickly around before a dozen of them drew either a pistol or a long switchblade, and began to move.

                Two others moved the barricade away from the living room doors, Olaf opening them, finding Esmé and the white faced women deep in conversation about _something_ stupid, he was sure.

                The disgusting man cleared his throat, causing Esmé and the women to look to him,

                “Ah, _darling!_ There you are-! Oh…” Esmé began, standing up and then faltering, “I see you haven’t read what’s… ‘IN’ as of late…” The woman said, looking disgusted at his pinstripe suit.

                Olaf glared at her, taking off his sunglasses,

                “Listen, flame, I don’t quite care what’s ‘IN’ as of now, because we have a _teensie_ problem on our hands.”

                Esmé blinked at him,

                “Whatever do you mean, darling?”

                Olaf let out an exasperated noise, throwing his hands out towards the vapid woman,

                “ _Those little_ **_shitheels_ ** _have invaded the penthouse already!!”_

                Esmé let out a gasp, along with the white faced women,

                “That _can’t_ be true, darling! The only children that have been here have been the little darlings that came to…” She quickly fell off,

                “Ah.”

                Olaf rolled his eyes at her, “‘ _Ah’_ indeed to blonde _bimbo,_ and they barricaded the door - to which you didn’t even _NOTICE_ I’m _sure.”_

                Esmé gave an offended gasp, “DARLING, how _dare_ you! I-”

                He glared at her, and she huffed,

                “FINE! Let those stupid suits of yours take care of them. Once it’s all done and finished, _I can finally have the location of the sugar bowl!”_

                The man groaned, “Right, yes, the _sugar bowl.”_ He said through clenched teeth,

                “Whatever. They’re already on the move. You two.” Olaf said, pointing between the white faced women, who looked at him nervously,

                “I’ve taught you better. Quit being bumbling idiots for _two_ seconds.”

                They nodded sadly.

                Esmé walked over to Olaf and placed her arms around his neck, “Darling _dearest_ , I _do_ apologize deeply for being such a _fool._ Could you ever… forgive me?”

                Olaf grinned devilishly, “Oh, I suppose I _could_ forgive you, bug. It would be cruel _not_ to.” He placed an arm around her waist, “I wouldn’t want to lose another pet over something so _petty.”_

                The woman nodded, smiling deviously, “Soon, those little BaudeBRATS will be DEAD-”

                “Save for the oldest one. I need her for the fortune, among other things.” Olaf noted.

                Esmé sneered, “Right. Whatever. They’ll be DEAD and I _will_ **_HAVE MY SUGAR BOWL!_** ”

                “Right. The bowl. How could I forget.”

* * *

 

                Klaus sat silently in one of the closets of his room, clutching onto a syringe carefully, peeking out of the crack in the door.

                There soon was some banging outside, to which he assumed were the suits trying to break into the various rooms with broken knobs.

                Then, the door to his was opened,

                And his breath hitched, holding it carefully in.

                In walked one of the suits, their stature straight, their movements confident, sure, and almost robotic in nature.

                They weren’t normal. There was definitely something… not correct about them.

                He felt his jaw tighten as his teeth clenched together in fear.

_Just wait for them to turn their back. When they’re close enough. Slip out. Stab into the neck._

                Klaus looked to the skin-tight wrap around their head - 

_If it’s not… armored…_

                The suit moved around, scanning the room, not touching a thing, and Klaus stood inside the closet, watching. Waiting.

                Waiting what felt like an eternity.

* * *

 

                Duncan’s hand shakily gripped his blade as he heard the door open, and he shrunk himself even more behind the arm chair he’d positioned himself to. He dared himself to peek around the corner, and saw the suit with their back turned, staring into a closet.

* * *

 

                Carmelita chewed on the inside of her cheek as the suit entered her room, her grip around her bat’s handle tightened. She slid quickly behind a shelf.

                The suit looked around the room, void of emotion, an aura of menace.

                She felt herself threatening to start shivering in fear, but she forced herself to remain calm.

                She couldn’t afford to lose, now.

* * *

 

                Quigley and Sunny hid in the closet of their room, Sunny standing on the floor, peeking out of the crack in the door.

                “You see anything, Sun?” Quigley whispered.

                The door opened.

                Quigley swallowed, and took out both of his knives, Sunny letting out a soft gasp, then covering her mouth.

                The suit’s head shot towards their hiding place.

* * *

 

                Isadora sat on one of the couches, her crows hopping around her in playful interest as she looked at her nails.

                Some banging came from outside, and she rolled her eyes. The crows quickly became alert, and flew over to hide by the doorway.

                She quickly got up, pulling out her chains, and watched the door as the handle turned.

* * *

 

                Violet had climbed onto one of the high bookshelves in her room, squatting down, peering down at the door. Vernal poked their head out of the purse.

                The banging came, and she scooted back farther, hopefully out of view.

                The door was carefully opened, and in walked one of the suits.

                They moved mechanically to each part of the room, scanning, inspecting, listening.

                Violet carefully counted the seconds, raising her pistol, carefully, quietly. Vernal’s tongue flicked silently.

_They’re trained killers._

                She aimed for the head.

_One mistake and it’s all over._

                The suit stopped,

                And in a matter of seconds,

                Violet shot, the suit pulled their own pistol and shot towards her.

                The bullet sped through the suit’s head, blood splattered against the wall, and they collapsed.

                Violet’s hand shakily lowered, and she looked to her side, her breathing ragged. Vernal hissed violently, looking at her in discomfort.

                The bullet had grazed her shoulder, cutting into the fabric of her sleeve, and splitting open the skin and flesh.

                She groaned, grabbing her bloody shoulder, and looking at the blood on her white glove,

                “Fucking great.”

_At least the clown is dead._

                She carefully jumped down from her hiding spot, wincing at the pain in her shoulder, and ran over to the still open door. No doubt they had heard the gunshot.

                She had to move. Quickly.

* * *

 

                As Violet ran down the corridor, then came the chain of events:

                The suit in Klaus’s room moved close enough to his hiding spot, with their back fortunately turned. He leapt out, stabbing the syringe into the suit’s neck. Their body spasmed, and then noiselessly, fell to the floor, lifeless.

                Duncan ran from his hiding place, weaving through the furniture in the room, swiping his blade, cutting through the flesh, the bone, through the neck of the suit, beheading them.

                Carmelita saw the suit come towards her, and like lightning, she swung herself in a circle, her bat in both hands, with great force, landing a heavy blow to the incoming suit around the corner of the shelf.

                Sunny ran out from the closet, Quigley now in a panic, and the suit cocked their head in confusion at the feral toddler, who sped around an arm chair, then lunged at them, sinking her teeth into their jugular. Quigley stared for a second, shrugged, and then took his knives, running out to finish the job.

                As the door swung open to Isadora’s room, Mischief and Mayhem barraged the entering suit, and Isadora walked over to the panicked figure, swinging her heavy chains around. They wrapped around the suit’s neck, and she gave a hard pull, strangling the figure.

                As each of these suits fell, the cru member ran out, and toward the foyer.

                From inside the living room, Olaf, Esmé, and the white faced women heard the gunshot.

                Olaf snarled, “BLOCK THE STAIRS, ALL OF YOU. KILL THE OTHERS. GET THE GIRL.”

                The remaining masked suits quickly moved to the stairs.

                Violet ran through the corridors, clicking on her walkie talkie,

                “CODE RED, ESCAPE PLAN GROUND FLOOR IS A GO. I’LL FIGURE IT OUT. OVER.” She shouted. Vernal slipped back into the purse, realizing the weight of the situation.

                Jacquelyn had reached the top, and peered into the window she was beside.

                The living room.

                “I’ll take my chances.” She spoke, then taking one of her pistols and shooting the window several times, causing the people inside to shriek, and kicked her way inside.

                “ _Jacquelyn-”_ Esmé hissed in anger at the auburn haired woman entering. Jacquelyn nodded her head, holding her pistols out in front of her, moving quickly around them,

                “Esmé. Olaf. Not armed. Not smart. We got what we came for, though. Pleasantries.”

                The woman said, before quickly exiting the room. Olaf snarled and tried to chase after the woman in a fit of rage, but Esmé grabbed his arms,

                “ _Darling, no,”_

                He simply tossed her a glare.

                As Jacquelyn exited, the kids ran into the foyer,

                “The stairs, down, go, _now,”_ Jacquelyn yelled to Violet and Carmelita, who nodded.

                “We’ll hold them off.”

                Violet rushed out, Carmelita following closely behind, only to be met by the other suits, who pointed at them with armed pistols and knives.

                “ _Shit.”_ Violet breathed, stopping in her tracks, Carmelita bumping into her.

                The eldest Baudelaire looked quickly between all the suits, who weren’t firing at all for some reason.

_Think._

                Carmelita hid behind Violet, gripping her bat.

_THINK, DAMNIT._

                Violet looked at the bannister of the stairs.

                It was smooth enough to be slid down.

 _...That could work_.

                “Run back in.” She said to Carmelita, who’s eyes widened in anger and shock,

                “ _What!?”_

                “Get the FUCK back in there. **NOW**.”

                Carmelita merely ran back in, and Violet immediately jumped onto the railing, and began to shoot as she slid down.

                Blood splattered against the walls as the suits fell lifelessly, one by one, in a flash.

                Back on the top floor, in front of the living room, Esmé, Olaf, and the white faced women stared down the rest of the kids and Jacquelyn. 

                “Splendid to see you, Jacquelyn, darling.” Esmé grinned, her eyes darkened. She released Olaf’s arms.

                “Trapped… like mice in a cage.” Olaf laughed, walking towards the group. Jacquelyn raised her pistols to the man,

                “I swear to _everything_ I _will_ shoot you-” The woman hissed,

                “Now, now,” He began, looking past her,

                He stopped, his brow furrowing at the now four extra kids,

                “Who the hell are they?”

                Jacquelyn sneered, “None of your business, _clown,”_

                “Let me guess, more orphans? Another fortune? Getting help, are you?” Olaf droned on.

                “Shut the _fuck_ up, _DAMN,”_ Carmelita came from behind Jacquelyn, to which Olaf shook his head in surprise, looking down at the small girl wielding a large, blood-stained, nail-filled bat,

                “Violet’s gone, and we should get going, too.”

                With that, the other kids immediately took off for the stairs, and Carmelita followed. Jacquelyn shot one of her pistols off as a distraction, the four villains cowering for a second as she ran off.

                Violet continued to slide for a few more seconds before forcing herself to jump off at one of the floors, slamming into the wall and swearing loudly.

                She crumpled to the ground, bruised, her shoulder bloodied.

                “Son. Of a. _Bitch._ ” She breathed harshly, attempting to sit up. Vernal slid out of the purse slightly, dizzy, and shook their small head.

                Not far up, the cru ran down the stairs, Quigley running at full speed, with Sunny in his backpack.

                Olivia had come out of her hiding place, the hook handed man and the person of indeterminate gender ran outside, leaving her to just deal with the bald-headed man, who had taken out his own pistol.

                When Quigley finally got down to Violet, he fell to his knees and cradled her in his arms, Sunny looking over his shoulder, nearly crying, her face a bloody mess.

                Really, most of them were a bloody mess.

                “Oh, God, Vi, baby, are you ok? _Shit-”_ He spoke quickly, seeing the gash on her shoulder,

                “We need to…. go...” Violet gasped, wincing. Vernal hissed, deeply upset.

                “She’s right. I’ll carry her. We need to move. We’ve seen what we’ve needed to see.” Jacquelyn said.

                The cru quickly began to move downward.

                On the ground floor, Olivia was able to hold off the bald man quite well. Beaten and battered, he fled out the entrance. She looked up, seeing the rushing cru, and swore softly.

                Suddenly, her walkie talkie crackled to life, and a male’s voice came through,

                 _“The world is quiet here.”_

* * *

 

                Olaf and Esmé were in a fit of rage, the white faced women sitting on one of the arm chairs in the living room close together, nervously watching the two pace around.

                “We’re going to need more of those Kitsune.” Olaf grumbled, pulling off his gloves and throwing them to the floor.

                “They’re called _The Kitsune,_ darling, and we’re going to need _SO MANY FUCKING MORE_ than whatever pitiful numbers _they_ sent you today!” Esmé growled, “You plan like a fucking CHILD-”

                “ _HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEY HAD MORE ‘SANTA’S LITTLE HELPERS’ YOU BITCH-”_ Olaf roared, causing Esmé to let out an angry scream.

* * *

 

                The cru had made it outside the building, and gathered in the alleyway. Jacquelyn had sat Violet up against the wall, and Quigley dug out some first aid supplies. The auburn haired woman began to work on the eldest Baudelair’s shoulder. Quigley held onto Violet’s hand.

                Olivia had told the person on the walkie talkie to hold for a moment, and when there was a lull in the chaos, she fiddled with the device again,

                “Jacques?” She asked.

                “Olivia. Are they ok?”

                “Y-yes, well, mostly. Violet is… she’s hurt. Jacquelyn may have some cuts from the glass.”

                “I’ll be there in a moment with the cab. Stay where you are.”

                The communication cut out.

                Violet gasped every time Jacquelyn dabbed the gash with the alcohol soaked cloth,

                “L-listen… we need to… we need to find - _fuck_ \- we need to find some place remote. Where he…. he can’t fucking find us, _FUCK-”_

                “Exactly. We need to figure out what the hell we’re going to do, and we need to get our hands on that sugar bowl before Esmé does. It’s the connection between us and V.F.D.” Klaus rambled,

                “We need to find out what the hell is _in_ that thing that’s so important that it started all of this bullshit.”

                Jacquelyn paused for a moment.

                “The Village of Fowl Devotees.” She spoke carefully.

                The cru looked at her in silent confusion.

                “The who fucking what now?” Quigley asked, perplexed.

                “Just as I said. Olivia, I heard you speaking to Jacques. He’s still alive. Good. We’ll get in the Snicket cab and get there as quickly as possible.” Jacquelyn said quickly, taking some gauze and wrapping it around Violet’s now clean shoulder, “The bleeding has mostly stopped - just don’t put a lot of stress on it. Quigley, help her.”

                Quigley saluted the woman and looked to Violet, who let out a long, heavy sigh,

                “Well _this_ was a fucking mess.”

                Isadora pulled down her face mask, her crows perched on some trash cans nearby,

                “But we’re alive.”

                Violet looked up at her, and smirked.

                “.... _We’re alive._ ”

                “And we’re alive to fight another day.” Duncan spoke.

                The rest of the cru silently agreed.


	16. The Vengeful Village [1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vi's been bashed up real good, and now the kids are a bit uneasy.  
> Their next step is to find another place to lie low, try to figure things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't be that hard, yeah? :^)
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                Violet had passed out from the pain - and just being plain tired - a little while after the conversation. Jacquelyn said she hadn’t broken any bones, but the bruises she had will definitely take some time to heal, as well as the gash on her upper arm from the bullet that grazed her. Quigley was relieved to hear her _bones_ were ok, but the bruises and the gash on the other hand - he wasn’t too happy about that.

                Quigley, Isadora, Klaus and Carmelita were each rightfully pissed off that “Those _BASTARDS”_ (Carmelita yelled.) had hurt Violet.

                However, Quigley was possibly the… _most_ angry out of all of them.

                “Push that anger into a thirst for justice.” Olivia had said while Quigley was cleaning his knives resentfully.

                Jacques soon arrived in the trusty Snicket cab, and the group snuck out of the alleyway, Jacquelyn carrying an unconscious Violet. The kids piled into the cab, Jacquelyn and Olivia went back into the tunnels.

                The kids were either bloody or dirty, either way, they were a mess.

                Physically _and_ emotionally.

                Klaus sat up front with Sunny in his lap, Duncan sitting on the console between the front seats. Violet sat between Quigley and Isadora, her head resting on Quigley’s shoulder. Carmelita sat by Isadora.

                They silently pulled away.

* * *

 

                The ride was mostly silent. Quigley stared at Violet’s solemn face while she slept, checked her arm, and glanced out the window on occasion. Carmelita would hum broadway tunes. Vernal, Mischief and Mayhem would flitter and slither around the cab, trying to entertain the kids. Klaus fell asleep twice, Sunny had already conked out, and was resting peacefully.

                Isadora gazed tiredly out the window, into the endless expanse of the Hinterlands.

                “...She looks so cute when she’s sleeping…” Quigley muttered without thinking. Isadora snorted. Carmelita’s humming turned into a teasing hum,

                “Give the gal a smooch, won’t ya, funny boy?” She then said, grinning from ear to ear. Quigley turned bright pink and narrowed his eyes at her,

                “I won’t take advantage of her while she’s _sleeping,_ Carm.”

                Carmelita gave a sarcastic scoff, “Why, that wasn’t what I meant at all, Quiggle!”

                Klaus felt himself bob awake, turning his head slightly,

                “That’s my sister, guys.” He slurred tiredly. Duncan snickered.

                “Yeah? So what?” Quigley mocked.

                “That’s _my sister.”_ The spectacled boy repeated in earnest. Isadora was silently giggling.

                “She’s hot, dude.” Quigley egged him on.

                “ _Ooooh my-”_ Klaus said, exasperated,

                “Knooock it _ooooff.”_

                “He’s not gonna stop, hon.” Duncan nudged him. Klaus sighed heavily, throwing his head back onto the head rest.

                Isadora pulled her face mask down,

                “To change the subject, where exactly are we headed?”

                Jacques was smiling at the teen’ exchange, for it reminded him of he and his own friends during their heydays, “A small, very remote village deep within the Hinterlands. There, we should be able to lie low for a few days so that you can devise a plan of action.”

                Klaus blinked the sleep out of his eyes, “Sounds good to me.”

                Carmelita looked down at her bloody clothes, “I hope we can clean up when we get there. I feel Big Nasty right now.”

                “You shall. The ladies and I will try to… ‘explain’ the situation to the best of our ability to the council.” Jacques replied.

                “The council?” Carmelita asked, cocking an eyebrow.

                “Also, why is it called the… _Village of Fowl Devotees?_ They a cult or somethin’?” Quigley said, holding Violet close, who was starting to stir.

                Jacques pursed his lips for a second, glancing at the rear-view mirror,

                “The Council of Elders. They run the place. And… I’ll be plain with you - yes. They follow the Elder’s rules out of… fear, to put it simply.”

                “The _fuck?”_ Quigley spat.

                “Oh, this’ll be _fun.”_ Carmelita grinned darkly.

                “...We need to lie low, children. You’ll need to hide your more… enthralling items.” Jacques cleared his throat.

                Klaus rolled his eyes, and Quigley grumbled.

                “They do have many crows, however. They hold them in high regard.” Jacques noted.

                Isadora raised her eyebrows,

                “Crows?”

                “Dozens of them.”

                The poet slowly replaced her face mask, already dreaming up a plan. Duncan slowly looked back at his sister, a knowing, yet worried look on his face.

                “Are you thinking what I think you’re thinking?” Carmelita looked at Isadora, smiling wildly.

                Isadora merely looked blankly at the red head, but her eyes were sparkling mischievously.

                “Oh God, oh fuck…” Duncan whined.

                “... _Queen.”_ Carmelita whispered.

                “Hrnm… you called?” Violet said tiredly.

                Isadora’s eyes widened, and Quigley’s hand flew to Violet’s cheek, caressing it.

                “ _OH THANK GOD,”_ Klaus turned around to the back seat, staring at his half-awake sister.

                “Hey can I get some uhhh…” Violet spoke groggily, staring at Quigley’s face, “... Pain pills in this bitch? A hoe is… like… big hurty.” She giggled slightly,

                “AH-ah, fuck ok that hurt.” She winced.

                Quigley laughed softly at her, “Don’t worry, we’ll get to the town and we’ll get everyone fixed up - especially you. Are you feeling alright, babe?”

                Violet blinked harshly, “Augh, fuck… I think… so? My arm hurts like a _bitch,_ though.” She shifted slightly, then gasping,

                “MMMMmmmk, side hurts, too. _Siiiide hurts, too.”_

                “I’m not surprised - you slammed straight into that wall pretty good.” Quigley said, arching his eyebrows in worry.

                “No kidding.” Violet breathed harshly, trying to find some comfort.

                “No worries, everyone, we’re nearly there.” Jacques said jovially.

                “Also you two need to stop flirting or I’m going to vomit.” Klaus said, turning back to the front.

                He then took a few seconds before saying,

                “Good to have you back, sis.”

                Violet laughed slightly and smiled,

                “Gonna take a lot more than that to kill _me_.”

* * *

 

                “Yiiiikes this place is a shithole.” Quigley hissed, staring just past the entrance to a very small, dusty, old-looking “town”. Violet clung to him, trying to stand upright.

                The others piled out of the car and Olivia and Jacquelyn arrived on their motorcycles. “Stay here, we’ll go and meet with the Elders.” Jacques said, “Jacquelyn… don’t… threaten them, please.”

                The woman rolled her eyes as she walked toward the entrance, Olivia following beside her,

                “I wouldn’t worry too much. All we need to do is rest here for a few days, nothing drastic.”

                Isadora nodded silently, and Carmelita gave her a knowing look.

                The red head then stuck a pouty lip,

                “These _poor_ villagers, though! Having to follow every order and rule from some stinky old people.”

                Jacques looked back at her, pointing a finger,

                “Miss Spats, don’t you dare.”

                She gave a little huff and stomped her foot. She hadn’t had a father figure in quite a while, so she’d grown to like Jacques. They all had.

                “ _Mooooom,_ I wanna help these poor people but _DAD’s_ not letting me!” Carmelita whined mockingly.

                Both Jacquelyn and Olivia looked back to reply, and Jacques smirked. The other kids laughed.

                Violet yelped, clutching her side, “Ffffff _uck.”_ She gasped and Quigley turned to her, Klaus running over to her. “Here,” Klaus said, gently holding up Violet’s other arm on his shoulder, “Lemmie help. You guys go ahead, we’ll wait here.” Violet gave a thankful whine and winced.

                The three adults nodded and entered the village.

                “ _Love_ playing the waiting game. Again.” Duncan sassed.

                “I have a feeling we won’t be doing that for long.” Carmelita said slyly, glancing at Isadora, who had already spotted some crows. Mischief and Mayhem squawked wildly from her shoulders.

* * *

 

                Around thirty minutes passed (They tried to clean off most of the blood to look… presentable, and removed their wigs and makeup.) before the kids were lead into what looked like a shabby-looking courtroom, where the townspeople sat in the rows of chairs. Three elderly looking individuals sat on high at the front of the room, sporting stuffed crows on their hats.

                Isadora didn’t take kindly to this, and her two crows stared judgingly at them.

                “We have looked over your need to stay with us, and will let you do so on one condition.” Said a rickety looking woman with small spectacles.

                “You will need to follow every rule, and do every chore for the village.” Said a wrinkly looking man.

                “If you refuse to do so, we have the right to burn you at the stake!” Said a pasty looking woman, who looked particularly excited about this outcome.

                Violet raised an eyebrow, but kept her mouth shut. Carmelita squinted at them.

                “Uh… ok?” Duncan replied. Quigley decided it best to stay silent. Klaus cleared his throat.

                Carmelita rolled her eyes.

                “Excellent. You’ll be staying with Hector.” The wrinkly looking man said.

                The townspeople looked around.

                “...Hector?” The rickety looking woman called abruptly.

                The kids looked at each other, perplexed.

                “ _HECTOR.”_ The pasty looking woman shouted, her voice pierced the air, making Isadora wince, irritated.

                A very, _very_ anxious looking man at the back of the courtroom stood up, taking off his hat with shaky hands,

                “Ah, s-sorry! I’m- Hello! I’m H-Hector! Uh-”

                He looked like he was about to faint.

                “Court is dismissed.” The rickety looking woman spat. The townspeople immediately began to disperse.

                Violet looked to Isadora, who’s eyes were… unpleasant to say the least.

                If looks could kill.

                “Isa… you good?” Violet asked as they began to move off the raised floor they all had crowded onto.

                The poet merely placed a hand on Mischief, who cawed angrily.

                The wrinkly looking man’s eyes brightened suddenly,

                “Oh, I see you have crows of your own, little miss!” He said cheerfully.

                Isadora merely stood silently.

                “A child of culture. Splendid!”

                Klaus raised an eyebrow,

                “We… better get going…”

                Duncan nodded, “Before she tries to kill them.” He whispered to Klaus. The spectacled boy nodded to him.

                Hector greeted them, nearly fainting twice upon seeing traces of what looked like to be blood, “It’s… jelly. We had lunch. Some of us are messy eaters.” Klaus said, to which Sunny agreed, “Vrai!!”

                Hector merely nodded, then looked to Violet, and his face turned from fear to worry,

                “Oh, goodness, are you alright? You look… really hurt-!”

                Violet sighed heavily, “I’m gonna need some medical assistance, dude. If you don’t mind.”

                “N-no! Not at all, uh, please! I’ll lead you to my house. It’s not… _too_ far.”

                Quigley’s face fell into annoyance.

* * *

 

                It took a good few minutes to get to Hector’s house, but it was far enough away that they could safely speak about whatever and do whatever they needed to do.

                Violet decided to, yet again, fill in another ally to their cause. Hector.

                While he listened (And nearly fainted several times, much to Violet and Quigley’s annoyance.), he and Klaus helped patch her up, Hector teaching Klaus a few fast first-aid remedies. Jacques, Jacquelyn, and Olivia hid the cab and motorcycles behind Hector’s huge barn. Duncan and Isadora unloaded the cab, carrying their supplies to the barn (Apparently, machines and mechanical devices were forbidden.). Carmelita and Sunny swung open the doors and gawked at a particularly amazing sight,

                “ _WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS!”_ Carmelita said, throwing her hands in the air excitedly. Hector and Klaus finished up with Violet, and the man perked up,

                “Oh, that’s the Self-Sustaining Hot Air Balloon, or the SSHAB for short.” Hector said excitedly, “I got the idea for it quite a while ago, while I was training. Unfortunately, I got placed here… and I haven’t…”

                Violet cut him off,

                “Had the nads to leave?”

                Hector sighed sadly, nodding.

                Violet stood up, her arm now in a sling, and placed a free hand on her hip,

                “Well, bud, _today’s the day that changes.”_

                Hector gulped.

                The teen then walked over to the barn, and grinned.

                “Hell of a contraption you’ve got here, buddy boy.”

                “Oh, th-thank you! It has all the necessities needed to last for _years_ of living - up in the sky!” The man stuttered excitedly, walking quickly over to it, “However… I can’t get it to get up and running… The wires might be fried?”

                Violet raised an eyebrow, “Fried? D’you have solid twelve gauge wires?”

                Hector cleared his throat.

                “I’ll take that as an ‘I don’t know’, let me look at this bitch.” She said, walking up the steps, Klaus following quickly in tow.

                The teen squatted down and pulled out the motor, her eyes flicking around. She then ripped a wire out, causing Hector to flinch.

                “Oopsie daisie, there’s you’re hot lil conductivity problem - these are stranded _fourteen,_ you done fucked up a bit.” Violet joked, looking at the wire carefully.

                “Can… can you fix it..?” Hector asked nervously, feeling silly.

                “My sister can fix anything.” Klaus said simply. Violet smiled up at her younger brother.

                A few minutes passed before Violet had finished her work, Klaus aiding her as her missing hand. She looked at her work, cocking her head to the side,

                “Gimmie a wrench, nerd.” She said to Klaus. Hector pulled a wrench from a toolbox nearby and handed it to Klaus, who passed it off to Violet’s free hand.

                She then looked at the motor, to the wrench, and back.

                The feral teen then gave the motor a hefty _THWACK._

                The motor then sputtered to life, causing Hector and Klaus to break into proud smiles.

                “I told you she could fix it.” Klaus laughed. Violet smirked.

                “Oh, thank you _so_ much, Violet! You’ve already done so much for me.” Hector said gleefully.

                “Welcome. Now, you know what we’re about. We just need your cooperation. And we need to get back into our normal clothes, guys. I feel like a mess.” Violet spoke sternly.

                Hector nodded, slightly terrified.

                “Awww…” Carmelita whined, “I liked my hat…”

                “You can keep the hat. And everything else. I don’t care what you do with your life, as long as you don’t die on me. Don’t do that.” Violet said softly to the short red head,

                “Don’t ever do that.”

                Carmelita scoffed,

                “Me!? _Die?”_ She then let out a raspberry, “Like _any_ of us are capable of being killed, Vi. We’re fuckin’ _invincible.”_

                Klaus raised an eyebrow.

                “Don’t get to cocky, little red. You know the rules.” Violet gave her a stern look.

* * *

 

                The sun was setting low when a huge cloud of crows came towards their direction, causing the group to stop in their tracks, gazing up at the sky.

                “Oh, the flock is migrating to the tree!” Hector said happily.

                “You say that like it’s a normal thing.” Duncan said.

                “Oh, it is! Every evening they come to sleep in the tree, then in the morning they return to the village. It’s a wonderful sight, really.” Hector explained.

                Isadora and Violet watched the dark birds in wonder as they reached the bare tree nearby Hector’s house, settling on the dead branches. Mischief and Mayhem flapped their wings in excitement.

                The poet then walked briskly up to the tree, and looked up at all the crows.

                Her own two began to squawk happily, Isadora’s eyes glittering. Several other crows called back in reply.

                The girl held up a hand, to which one of the crows then flew down and settled on her outreached finger.

                “Birds of a feather. Flock together.” She said simply. The crow cried back in reply, causing all of the other crows to call to her, more fluttering over to her, sitting on her head, others hopping happily around her.

                The others looked on in flabbergasted awe. Jacquelyn stared at Isadora, then looked to Olivia, who merely shrugged.

                “I think Isadora found more pets.” Duncan said softly.

                “Great.” Quigley grumbled, “You’re taking care of all of those, Isa!” He called to his sister.

                Isadora simply looked back to him, pulled down her facemask, a grim smile covered her face,

                “Oh, I’ll be sure to take care of something else, as well.”

                Violet grinned. Sunny giggled, waving up at all the crows in the tree. Carmelita cackled, clapping her hands together.

                The others looked at her nervously.


	17. The Vengeful Village [2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cru take a pause for the cause and try to figure things out, and Jacquelyn returns with some news...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone say "We Love A Sneaky Lesbian".
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                The cru woke up early the next morning, Jacquelyn took off on her motorcycle, leaving Olivia and Jacques to head into the village to do a stakeout (For some reason they saw it fit to wear western attire. For. Some reason.). The kids stayed with Hector, awaiting their first list of chores, eating breakfast, now clean and in their normal clothes once again.

                “So like,” Quigley said, laying on the porch, his legs up on the wall, “What’s Jacky doin’? More importantly… what’re _we_ doin’?”

                “Our best.” Replied Carmelita with a mouthful of eggs. Klaus snorted.

                “She went to go get an update on some info, apparently.” Violet replied, “And _we_ are waiting for her to return, and to figure out what the hell we’re going to do.”

                “Idea.” Klaus said suddenly, “Since the Gruesome Twosome are the ones supplying Bastard Man with those creepy ass suited guys, we’ll probably need to take care of them, first and foremost.”

                Hector poked his head out the doorway,

                “Th-the Gruesome… T-Twosome..?” He stuttered anxiously.

                Violet looked at him,

                “Yes. Them. Those two. You know about ‘em?”

                Hector simply nodded, shivering.

                “Spill.”

                The man nearly fainted again, causing Klaus to jump up and steady him, and Violet to throw her head back, rolling her eyes in aggravation.

                She then got up, nearly kicking her chair over, and the others watched as she walked up to Hector, who was currently being held up by her younger brother - 

                And slapped Hector.

                Not hard, but not too lightly, either.

                Klaus shook his head at her, feeling a little stricken himself.

                The others fell silent, Carmelita and Quigley then starting to snicker.

                Hector simply shook his head in shock, then looked down at the teen.

                “I severely apologize, but I think that was a long time coming.” Violet said, a tad shameful.

                “Violet, was that really necessary?” Klaus asked, looking hurt at his sister.

                Hector glanced at him, “No, she’s right, I… I think I needed that.”

                “Again. Sorry.” Violet said apologetically.

                Klaus sighed, letting go of Hector.

                “I’ll tell you everything I know. Or… that I remember.” Hector said simply.

* * *

 

                Apparently, Hector was trained alongside some of the other adults the cru knew, including the Snickets, and a man named Lemony Snicket, who died mysteriously. The Gruesome Twosome were the ringleaders of the firestarters, for sure, and had been training some of their own members. He spoke, the cru asked questions. This went on for quite a while.

                “Do you have a tattoo, then?” Duncan asked.

                “The eye. On your ankle.” Quigley continued.

                Before he could answer, Jacquelyn showed up in the doorway of the house,

                “I have some… news.”

                “Ayyy, Jacky!” Quigley said, throwing his arms in the air in greeting.

                Violet blew a stray hair out of her face, and Duncan grumbled,

                “Love it when you bring back… _‘news’.”_ He said.

                Isadora sent a messenger crow to Jacques and Olivia in the village. Once they returned, the cru gathered around in Hector’s living room.

                “So, what’s the news, Jac?” Violet asked plainly. Jacques blinked at her.

                “Well, first of all, we know who those suited fools are, now.” Jacquelyn said.

                “Tell me a story, mumsie.” Violet spoke.

                “Apparently, they’re called _The Kitsune._ They’re ruthless killers. Nonautonomous. They follow the every order of the Gruesome Twosome, without question.” Jacquelyn explained grimly.

                “So… they’re like.. brainwashed.” Carmelita commented.

                “...Yes. Sadly. They’ve been… ‘trained’ to become…” Jacquelyn tried to find her words carefully.

                “Brainless, heartless robots.” Violet said finally, “Monsters.”

                Jacquelyn pursed her lips and looked down at the floor.

                “...Due to the darkness of their history, killing them just puts them out of their misery.” Isadora spoke suddenly.

                Klaus cleared his throat, “What if we could… snap them out of it?”

                There was some silence as Hector, Jacques, and Jacquelyn looked at him sadly.

                “They’re… they’re too far gone, Klaus.” Jacques replied, his voice mourning.

                There was another bout of silence.

                Jacquelyn breathed deeply before speaking again,

                “Another thing,”

                They all looked at her again,

                “We’ve found the location of the sugar bowl.”

                Klaus’s eyes widened and Violet squinted, her face contorting into agitated anger,

                “Where is it.” She asked.

                “A place called Heimlich Hospital. Apparently in one of their storage rooms. The hospital is half-finished, so it shouldn’t be _too_ hard to locate.” Jacquelyn informed them.

                “... First we get that bowl, then we hunt down the Twosome, finally, we finish off Fuckface.” Violet said sternly. Quigley and Isadora nodded. Klaus opened his mouth to speak, then shut it again.

                “Inside?” Sunny asked carefully, which meant, _“Whatever is in that bowl, we need to keep out of Esmé’s hands.”_

                “Sunny says we need to keep the sugar bowl out of Esmé’s hands.” Klaus translated.

                “Exactly.” Jacquelyn replied earnestly, “She may use it for wicked ideals - “

                Jacques nodded, “We on the noble side of the schism have been trying to keep the sugar bowl out of her hands for quite a while, now.”

                Jacquelyn’s breath hitched as she threw a look in his direction. Violet bit the inside of her cheek, and Klaus raised an eyebrow.

                “Jacques,” Jacquelyn spoke, “I think it’s time we talked about you and… V.F.D.”

                Jacques merely gave her a look.

                “Children, do you mind?” Olivia said carefully.

                The kids looked between each other, some shrugged.

                “Of course.” Violet said, standing up.

                They filed out as Hector shut the door carefully behind them.

* * *

 

                “Ok, good thing is, we know what we’ve gotta do, now.” Klaus said earnestly. “Bad thing is, you’re still injured.”

                “Aaaactually,” Violet sing-songed, “The way Hector treated me, it should all heal up in time for me to throw myself around again.” 

                Quigley gave her a worried look,

                “Look, I don’t want you to exasperate yourself.”

                “Bullshit.” Violet laughed. Isadora blinked at her.

                “Don’t look at me like that, honey. I know what I’m about.” The elder Baudelaire replied. Sunny made an objecting noise, to which Violet replied with an annoyed grumble.

                “I’ll rest when everything has been dealt with.” Violet said grimly, walking off to the barn.

                A crow flew over to Isadora suddenly, holding a scroll of paper. The poet plucked the scroll from it’s talons and unfurled it, showcasing a hefty list of chores.

                “Well, fuck me, it’s like living at Bastard Man’s place all over again.” Klaus said snidely. Isadora threw a worried glance his way.

                “Abhorred.” Sunny stated, which meant, _“You don’t wanna know.”_

                Isadora gave the toddler a look of _“The less I know, the better, perhaps.”_

                The feral little child agreed.

                “Listen, as much as I love this silly little exchange, we need to work this shit out while the adults work their shit out.” Violet called from the doorway of the barn, “We’ll just communicate via looks while working on whatever the hell it is these lazy fucks want us to do, mmk, gays?”

                Duncan and Klaus gave each other a look, and Carmelita gave an objecting groan. Isadora gave a silent look to the crow, who nodded once, and then took off.

                Violet double took Isadora for a moment, then walked over to her, slowly,

                “...You… You have an idea… Don’t you, sweetheart?”

                Isadora smiled slyly from behind her face mask, her eyes glittering darkly.

                “Tell mama what’s poppin’, fowlfeathers.”

* * *

 

                The cru walked into the village with their cleaning supplies.

                “So what you’re telling me,” Violet had said before they left, “Is that you’re gonna unleash your new buddies and cause some chaos?”

                Isadora had nodded excitedly.

                “For funsies?”

                Isadora then merely shrugged.

                “For another reason.”

                The poet pointed toward Hector’s house.

                “...Ooooh, you need Mister Nervous Man for this plan.”

                She nodded at the inventive gunslinger.

                “...Well then. Alright.”

                The cru were now observing their surroundings as they worked, giving each other looks, causing the townspeople to feel a tad uncomfortable with their presence as they went on with their daily lives.

                The crows observed the townspeople carefully, watched the exits, and occasionally fluttered over to Isadora to chitter at her.

 _“So you’re just thinking of walking up to the Gruesome Twosome and going, ‘HeEeEeEy!’ and shooting them in the face?”_ Klaus stared at Violet as he wiped down a window.

                She snorted, “ _Clearly not, dumbshit. It’ll take some good planning, and possibly more of our own firepower.”_ Then throwing a broom to the ground, dumping some dust into a trash bag.

 _“And where the fuck are you expecting to find more firepower?”_ Duncan looked between the two elder Baudelaires, dunking a dirty rag into a washbucket.

 _“The way we’ve been going? We’ll easily find some more people.”_ Violet hummed.

                “How the fuck are you guys even understanding each other with just… _looks.”_ Carmelita piped up.

                “When you live with Isadora long enough, you learn it. You’ll pick up on it real quick if you focus, just wait.” Quigley said.

                “ _Something like that, little red brat.”_ Isadora looked at Carmelita from the corner of her eye. Carmelita merely looked at her, perplexed.

                “You might want to learn sooner rather than later, because who knows when you’ll need to read a face, sweetie.” Violet said sternly, but lovingly.

                “Whaaaatever, _mom.”_ Carmelita mocked, to which Violet threw a dirty rag in the red head’s direction. She laughed, sticking out her tongue.

* * *

 

                “I hope the stew is good - Sunny helped me make it. She’s quite the cook!” Hector said later that evening as he placed a large pot in the middle of the dining table.

                It was oddly quiet, as Jacques was sitting with his fingers clasped together in his lap, looking down, deep in thought.

                “...What’d you say to him?” Quigley looked up at Jacquelyn.

                “It’s not just what _I_ said,” Jacquelyn said softly, “Hector supplied his knowledge and opinion as well.”

                Violet glanced over at Jacques.

                “Needless to say… He’ll be coming along for the ride.” Jacquelyn finished.

                “Fuck V.F.D.” Sunny said plainly.

                “Yes, that.” Jacquelyn replied, Olivia holding the spy’s hand tenderly.

                “Anyways, here’s a hot idea.” Quigley said, “Violet, tell ‘em the plan, baby.”

                Violet smirked,

                “It may not be the most _fleshed out_ plan, but at least it’s _something.”_ She said, putting out a hand and throwing it around in a so-so motion.

                “I’m listening.” Jacquelyn looked to her direction.

                “We track down the bowl, find more firepower, then hunt down the Gruesome Twosome and kill them. Cunt Olaf is the last one on our list.” Violet explained.

                Jacquelyn thought for a moment,

                Sat up straighter in her seat,

                Then raised her eyebrows,

                “Baudelaire, you have a good plan, and I just might know where to get those extra hands of yours.”

                Violet blinked quickly before raising her own eyebrows in surprise, “On God?”

                Jacquelyn smiled, and Quigley laughed out loud in triumph,

                “Ok, Jacky come _through_ with the _connections_.” The cartographer shouted. Violet laughed and slapped him playfully on the arm. Klaus groaned, “Shut up, what are you even-”

                “He’s valid, leave stinky boy alone, booked worm.” Carmelita joked.

                “Stinky? Oh, so I’m stinky?” Quigley asked, acting, “You don’t KNOW, you don’t KNOW, ME,-”

                “Oh, so you’re stinky? So you’re stinky and smelly?” Violet cackled.

                This went on for a good few minutes, leading into several comedic bits and a few of them in howling laughter. Jacquelyn looked tiredly at the group, Olivia grinning happily. Hector had never had such happiness in his home in a long while.

                Jacques was quietly contemplating, stewing on the decisions he had made over the course of his life.

                It was time for a change.

                And it was time for him to tell the Baudelaires something.


	18. The Vengeful Village [3]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids couldn't run for long.
> 
> Another day, another fight for their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO LIKES ACTION!?
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                Two days passed as the children began to make preparations to move again, this time to Heimlich Hospital. Larry provided them with more supplies and provisions, Jacques decided to join them, and Isadora finalized her plans with Hector, who was nervous about going through with it, but not too much so, since Violet slapped some sense into him.

                Quite literally.

                The kids were lounging around the living room, generally just making noises at each other or making up more nonsensical comedic bits when another crow flew through the window and landed on Isadora’s head, who was sitting on a couch, scribbling in her commonplace book.

                “Ooooh, shiiiiit, a crooooww.” Quigley said, sliding out of the armchair he was slouching in.

                Isadora rolled her eyes and offered a finger perch to the bird, which hopped down and offered another scroll of paper.

                “Oh, epic, more bullshit chores.” Quigley then spat dryly.

                Violet looked at the healing scar on her arm, “At least I’ve got both my fully functioning arms ‘n’ hands back,” She stretched her arm in a circle, nearly hitting Klaus in the head playfully, “And a rad scar.”

                Klaus rolled his eyes.

                “It’s like, ‘I lived, bitch.’” She said, pointing at the scar and cackling. Quigley laughed with her and Duncan merely raised and lowered his eyebrows.

                “1-800-I-LIVED-BITCH.” Carmelita giggled maniacally.

                There was a burst of laughter and Isadora crumpled up the chore list, throwing it to the side.

                “Welp,” Violet then stood up, “We better get moving. Don’t wanna disappoint the old coots.”

                Duncan groaned and Quigley let out a long, loud raspberry.

                Jacquelyn’s voice came from outside the house,

                “ **EVERYONE. OUT HERE. NOW.** ”

                Which… did not bode well.

                The kids looked between each other in shock before quickly getting up and rushing outside, Hector following them to stand on the porch.

                Jacquelyn stood with her arms crossed, a vexed look on her face, Olivia pacing around just behind her, and Jacques trying to reason with the worried woman. The kids rushed over to her as Hector nervously looked on.

                “What-?” Violet began.

                “He’s here.” Jacquelyn spat venomously.

                Violet’s eyes darkened, her jaw clenched tightly,

                “ **_FOR FUCK’S SAKE-_ **”

                Isadora grabbed onto Violet’s arm, and the two girls stared at each other. The poet nodded to her.

                Violet took in a deep breath,

                “Plan goes active now. Leave it to us.” The eldest Baudelaire looked back at Jacquelyn, who raised her eyebrows. Olivia stopped pacing, and Jacques stared at her.

                “Jacquelyn, you stay here, just in case. Hector, go with Isadora. Jacques and Olivia, go into the village first, try to create a diversion. You’ve got those… cowboy? Disguises.” Violet ordered.

                “Roger.” Jacques replied.

                “Why the fuck is he here.” Violet spat simply.

                “I have no idea. He could have figured out where we went, or he and Esmé are trying to track down the sugar bowl. I… don’t know.” Jacquelyn replied quickly.

                Quigley and Klaus groaned.

                “Strap up, it’s _slaughterin’_ time!” Carmelita cheered. Duncan made a nervous noise.

                “Little red’s right. Do or die time.” Violet agreed darkly.

* * *

 

                Upon entering the village, Jacques and Olivia saw the townspeople crowding around a disguised Olaf and Esmé - A sleazy detective and horny cop respectively.

                Jacques glared.

                “...It appears as though they’ve already got them wrapped around their fingers.” Olivia said, upset.

                “Not for long.” Jacques said, walking over to the crowd.

                “Excuse me,” The Snicket said, using a deep, southern accent, “Do you need somethin’?”

                “Oh, it’s the sheriff! Hello! We’ve just been informed that some murderers are here in our dear little town - can you believe that!?” Said a townsperson.

                “Murderers? Why, goodn’ess me, if there were sum murderes, I’d a known it by now, you reckon as much, deputy?” Jacques droned on, looking to Olivia. She stepped up beside him, then saying in an equally thick accent,

                “I sure do agree, sheriff. 'Sides, only murder here's a bunch a crows.”

                Olaf glared at them, immediately knowing who one of them was.

                “... _Snicket…”_ The repulsive man spat under his breath. He snapped his fingers, and several of The Kitsune walked out from the shadows of buildings, causing the townspeople to panic. Esmé couldn’t help but hiss at Jacques.

                “Now, looky here, sheriff… I’ve got everythin’ right under control, _ya dig?”_ Olaf spoke sassily.

                Jacques grinned, “I’m sure you do, partner, now, come on down with me to the ol saloon, and we’ll talk real close like - figure this out right together, eh?”

                “ _Gladly._ ” Olaf sneered.

                Jacques and Olaf walked to the abandoned saloon as Olivia approached Esmé -

                “Tell me miss, you got a permit to be steppin’ inna our quant lil town?”

                The blonde glared wickedly at the spectacled woman,

                “Oh, I do thinks so, madame.”

                Just then, several loud shattering noises were heard, followed by a boy’s voice screaming,

                “ **_SCATTER!_ **”

                A cloud of crows flew fiercely over the heads of the townspeople, causing them to shriek and run into the buildings. The Kitsune merely stared at the small cloud and walked to surround the large bird fountain at the center of town, taking out shotguns.

                Olivia pulled out her throwing knives causing Esmé to screech and pull out her police baton.

                The Council of Elders ran out from their courthouse to see the chaos unfolding,

                “ _DO NOT HARM THOSE CROWS, YOU FIENDS!”_ Screamed the wrinkly looking man.

                The Kitsune ignored him, still pointing their shotguns at the wildly flying crows.

                Quigley jumped down from the top of a low building, Duncan came out from behind a stack of wood. Carmelita and Klaus came running toward the center, Sunny racing closely behind them.

                Violet and Isadora walked briskly through the entrance from just behind the runners.

                They all held their weapons,

                Violet stopped short as Isadora continued to walk to the Elders, who stood in front of the fountain, trying to reason with The Kitsune.

                Hector slid out from behind a post and ran over to Isadora.

                “ _Elders!_ ” He called.

                The pasty looking woman paused her shrill complaining to look to Hector,

                “YOU did this, you idiot! YOU let in al these little BRATS and they brought a bunch of HOOLIGANS into our town! YOU HAVE BROKEN SO MANY RULES, _ALL OF YOU!_ ”

                “I-” Hector began. Isadora glared at the Elders, slowly pulling down her face mask.

                “Perhaps if you weren’t such a PUSHOVER, our town would be as safe as it always was!” The rickety looking woman scolded him.

                “Now,-” Hector attempted.

                “ _NOW_ look what you’ve done-!” The wrinkly looking man began,

                Hector felt a surge of deep frustration enter him, wash over him, and - 

**_THWAHNCK_ **

                Isadora stood in shock as Hector had reeled back and socked the wrinkly looking man in the face, knocking him into the dried-up fountain, out cold.

                The other two Elders looked on in horror. The Kitsune members nearby suddenly moved their shotguns toward Isadora and Hector, taking aim.

                “Run.” Isadora said simply.

                Hector looked at his bloodied fist, then to Isadora, nodded, and took off running.

                The poet then stepped backward slightly, raising her arms. She let out a loud, long, single noted whistle, then speaking slowly,

_“Something is afoul / It’s sure to make you howl.”_

                A huge cloud of crows darkened the skies above them, causing the Elders to stare in silent terror.

_“Your fellowship is a blight / I see your end in sight.”_

                Violet looked up at the crows and smiled, drawing her pistols,

                “And so it begins.”

                Isadora took a bow, and the crows dove.

                The shrieks of the Elders and The Kitsune were heard as several scattered gunshots went off.

* * *

[Click for the song.](https://youtu.be/0HQ55qf5gdA)

                Several more Kitsune arrived on the scene, running into the town brandishing long blades. Violet looked back.

 

 _Time and time again, it seems_  
                 _We've reached the point where all our dreams_  
                 _Are crumbling all around us_  
                 _Every outcome unjust_

 

                Klaus plucked up Sunny and ran past the now bloody, meaty fountain, ducking into the courthouse doors. He grabbed a poison dart from the inside of his jacket, looked out from behind one of the large doors, and gazed carefully on the chaos and carnage.

 

 _Every step it seems has led_  
                 _Us further from our goal instead_  
                 _Our triumphs haven't mattered_  
                 _We're drifting ever backward_

 

                Duncan pulled his own blade from the sheath on this back, motioned toward Quigley, who pulled out two long knives. They each stepped carefully toward Violet.

 

 _And we're running out of time_  
                 _Nowhere near the finish line_  
                 _And it's growing ever clear_  
                 _That a reckoning is near_  
                 _And we'll have to make a choice_

 

                Carmelita cackled, raising her bat mockingly at the oncoming Kitsune. Duncan glanced worriedly at the scene.

                Violet turned towards The Kitsune, their steps now slowed to a sort of predatory-like movement - foxes hunting their prey.

 

 _Is this path right?_  
                 _Or is it made of lies?_  
                 _We're looking in ourselves_  
                 _And trusting in the light_  
                 _A miracle is all we need_  
                 _But there isn't one in sight_

 

                Violet slowly raised her pistols in front of her, Duncan and Quigley sneaking carefully closer, Carmelita twirling her bat around in her hand.

                Isadora looked on at what was left of the bodies of the Elders and the other Kitsune.

                She then turned her head slowly, looking back at the others, then raised her arm slowly, signaling with her hand. The crows called in a frenzy.

 

 _Each and every passing day_  
                 _Our world's in further disarray_  
                 _Confidence descending_  
                 _Where's our happy ending?_

 

                Suddenly, one of The Kitsune lunged toward Violet, Quigley acting quickly, throwing a blade at their foot.

                The blade stabbed into their ankle, causing them to fall face down, their blade thrown from their hand, stabbing into the dusty ground before the eldest Baudelaire. She took this chance to shoot them in the head.

 

 _On the path, but still, we strayed_  
                 _Our aspirations quickly fade_  
                 _Desperation's risin'_  
                 _On hopeless bleak horizons_

 

                The other Kitsune took this as an advance, and immediately began to move in on them.

                Isadora flick her hand behind her, and a group of crows from the large cloud flew upward, charging to their next destination.

 

 _Every life is on the line_  
                 _Can't wait here for a sign_  
                 _And just like the blood that's shed_  
                 _Every cancer's sure to spread_  
                 _And the time to act is short_

 

                Carmelita swung wildly at an oncoming Kitsune, bashing them in the side of their head, sending them staggering.

                Duncan sidestepped one, swung around to their back, using his blade to slice at their shoulder, cutting their arm from their body.

                Their blood splattered onto the dirt.

 

 _We know inside_  
                 _We're born to do what's right_  
                 _Desire to preserve life_  
                 _Is powering the light_  
                 _We're praying for a miracle_  
                 _But for now, we'll stand and fight_

 

                The small murder of crows sped forward and dove down to the other Kitsune, pecking violently. 

                Violet let off several shots, quickly sidestepping other Kitsune.

                These few were slowed down by her shots or overtaken by a few crows.

                Back in the courthouse, Klaus watched as a mangled Kitsune rose from the fountain and attempted to make their way to Isadora.

                They shambled slowly over to her like a zombie, dragging a bone-exposed leg. Sunny covered her eyes.

                Klaus bit his lip and quickly threw his dart their direction, which hit them directly in their back.

                The Kitsune member seized up, twitched, and then finally dropped dead.

                “...Shit.” He said simply. Isadora looked forward, noticed the fallen body in front of her, and nodded in Klaus’s direction.

                Back in the abandoned saloon, Jacques and Olaf had taken to fighting quite ruthlessly,

                And unfortunately, Jacques had taken quite the beating. The man stumbled backwards as Olaf kicked him against the wall, pointing a harpoon gun at his chest.

                Olaf had come armed.

                Outside, Olivia was triumphing over Esmé, who was currently trying to avoid all the swipes of the librarian’s knives.

                The kids were currently weaving in and out of the last of The Kitsune, Isadora looking around frantically for an escape route.

 

 _Every plan falls apart_  
                 _All of it pointless_  
                 _Nothing gained, all in vain_  
                 _Going down_

 

                Olaf gave a sick grin before socking Jacques in the face, causing the man to slide down the wall.

  
  
                 _Under siege, sinking fast_  
                 _Crumbling quickly_

 

                The vile man quickly aimed the harpoon gun at Jacques’s chest.

  
  
                 _Fear and shame, endless pain_  
                 _Floundering_

 

                Isadora flicked her hand again, and the rest of the crows raced towards the remaining Kitsune.

                Violet ducked out of the way of the oncoming murder, and they dug their beaks into The Kitsune before her. She looked on with empty eyes.

                The poet saw an empty fire engine and dashed towards it.

                Klaus took this as an opportunity to grab Sunny and quickly follow after her.

 

 _Vile_ _  
_                  _Abominations all around us_

 

                Duncan fell to the ground on his knees, plunging his blade into the chest of a Kitsune member, tears in his eyes.

 

 _Thriving_ _  
_                  _Destroying every hope for justice_

 

                Quigley saw red. He continuously stabbed at a still standing Kitsune, relentless. A small group of crows pecked at them as well.

 

 _Still, we pray_ _  
_ _Soon, one day_

 

                The last Kitsune fell before Carmelita’s feet.

 

 _Our faith will be revived_ _  
_                  _We'll wake to see the light_

 

                Isadora came rushing over, yanking down her face mask,

                “ _GET TO THE FIRE ENGINE, NOW._ ” She breathed harshly. Olivia ran past her, grabbing her hand.

                Violet looked around wildly, then past the entrance of the town - 

                More of them were coming.

 **“** **_GO!!_ ** **”**

 

 _And a miracle_  
                 _Yeah, a miracle_  
                 _Is waiting there_  
                _I swear it showed up out of thin air_

 

                The kids and Olivia rushed to the fire engine, piled on it, Klaus sitting in the driver’s seat. He slammed down on the gas, Sunny taking control of the wheel.

 

 _A miracle_ _  
_                  _Right in front of our eyes_

 

                The fire engine sped through the entrance, bulldozing some of The Kitsune in the way, taking off towards Hector’s house.

* * *

 

                Violet slammed open the door quickly, rushing in,

                “JACQUELYN-” She yelled.

                The auburn haired woman ran up to the teen,

                “More blood, fantastic - You-” She began, seeing the cru file quickly through the door,

                She performed a quick headcount in her head,

                “...Where is Jacques?”

                There was silence.

                Olivia gasped, and sniffed,

                “I don’t… I don’t-” The woman began.

                Jacquelyn arched her eyebrows and slowly walked over to Olivia.

                “I think… I think he’s…”

                “He didn’t make it.” Isadora spoke simply.

                Olivia burst into tears as Jacquelyn took the librarian in her arms, her face in a blank pain.

                The others stood quietly. Violet swallowed hard.

                “...We need to get out of here. They’re coming. We’ll assess the damages once we’re far enough away.” The eldest Baudelaire spoke quickly.

                Quigley nodded, and Carmelita stared at the sobbing librarian.

                “You didn’t know him for long.”

                “She didn’t.” Jacquelyn spoke,

                “But that’s the impact he had on people. Even if you didn’t know him for long… you knew he was a kind and…”

                She paused.

                “...Noble person.”

                Duncan clenched his jaw.

                Violet cleared her throat, “Let’s get to the cab. Grab our shit. We’ll have time to mourn, later. Our lives are on the line.”

                “Where’s Hector?” Klaus said suddenly.

                “He’ll be fine.” Isadora said simply, “We need to get the hell out of here.”

                Everyone exchanged some looks before moving quickly.


	19. An Incautious Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something far more foul is afoot.
> 
> No, not, fowl. Like. Bad. Not like Isadora's crows.
> 
> Something horrible.
> 
> Well, Isadora's crows are pretty bad, too, but in a good way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what a bummer, amiright gaymers?  
> hah  
> h
> 
> this is a lil bit of a shorter interlude, but i'll make up for it with an... excellent THH. uwu
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

   

                “I… I can’t do this anymore.” The hook handed man said softly.

                The person of indeterminate gender simply looked at him.

                The two of them stood near the back of one of the run-down buildings in the village. The silence that was brought after the destructive chaos was almost deafening.

                Not a crow in sight.

                Not a townsperson seen.

                Only the pedophile's cronies, both alive and dead.

                Two very injured Kitsune dragged a body bag past the building, Esmé sitting among the picked corpses that lay around and in the crow fountain. She seemed unfazed by this, her leg crossed over another carefully, her hands folded over a knee.

                The woman was covered in blood.

                And was not fazed.

                Olaf strutted out,

                “My dearest friends, Jacques Snicket has finally fallen! And to my hands, no less!” He laughed heinously, and the white faced women smiled nervously. The bald man laughed along with him.

                The wicked man stopped short, fully surveying his surroundings,

                “...What’s with all the bodies-”

                “The girl with the mouth mask controls the birds, now.” One of the white faced women spoke, “All the others came out without a scratch.” The other said.

                He felt a surge of fear rush through him,

                “I…”

                “Darling.” Esmé called from the pile of bodies.

                “Yes, my pet?” Olaf attempted a smile, walking over to her.

                “The sugar bowl.” She said blankly.

                “Right, yes, sugar bowl.” He muttered, “Apparently it’s at a pleasant little hospital just down the way. Funny thing - there are also files on the Snickets and other V.F.D. members in a library it houses. Convenient!” He laughed, then clearing his throat, trying to avoid looking at the carnage that she sat among.

                Esmé slowly stood up,

                “Jacques is dead, we find the rest of them, we slaughter them. The bowl is mine, and soon, everything else will be, too.”

                Olaf blinked at her,

                “You do know the fortune and the girl are  _ mine,  _ correct?”

                “You can have your filthy money. I have enough money all on my own,  _ darling _ .”

                Olaf forced another smile, “Of course, my pet, of course!”

                She pushed past him, whispering something under her breath, over and over again.

                “What do you mean you can’t do this anymore.” The person of indeterminate gender asked blandly.

                The hook handed man swallowed,

                “Have you heard the  _ things _ the… that Olaf has been saying?”

                They nodded.

                “It’s not right. All of this isn’t right.” The hook handed man whispered harshly.

                The person of indeterminate gender blinked, “So you’re saying you want to defect.”

                The hook handed man pursed his lips and stared at them. They took in a deep breath from their nose, and forced it from their mouth.

                “I just wanted to act. Put on shows.” They said finally, “Not track down a bunch of kids and  _ kill _ them.”

                “And I don’t want… I don’t want what  _ he  _ wants.” The hook handed man pointed sternly in the villain's general direction.

                “...Fernald.” The person of indeterminate gender began, “Where would we even go.”

                They heard some shuffling, and jumped upward, looking in the noise’s direction,

                “I could help with that.” Hector said meekly.

* * *

 

                A determined looking man quickly walked through the tunnels, a suitcase in hand, and a few newspapers tucked under his arm.

_                 Baudelaire Mansion Burnt Down! _

_                 Baudelaire Orphans Safely in the Care of Resident Actor! _

_                 Murderous Orphans on the Lam! _

_                 Herpetologist Found Dead and Buried in His Own Home! _

_                 Massive Hurricane Wreaks Havoc! _

_                 Mysterious Death at Lumbermill Causes its Closure! _

_                 Vice Principal Gone Missing! _

_                 Masked Murderers in the City!? _

                Each of these newspapers entailed something about the Baudelaire Orphans - and how these deaths and mysteries were connected to them.

                He didn’t believe it.

                Another group of three orphans - triplets - apparently joined in after  _ their  _ mansion was burned to the ground, and a rogue child who abandoned her studies and Prufrock.

                He needed answers.

                He was  _ going _ to get them.

                He  _ needed _ to find them.

* * *

 

                “Well that was a fucking shitfest.” Quigley said aloud.

                They had shoved everything they could remember into the cab, plus maybe more. Jacquelyn drove the cab while Olivia rode behind on her motorcycle. Isadora’s new massive murder of crows followed them in tow, being lead by Mischief and Mayhem.

                “And we’re a mess -  _ again.”  _ Duncan complained. Klaus was silent. Sunny looked up at him,

                “Doing ok?”

                He blinked, “Today was my birthday.”

                Isadora looked at the back of the front seat, worried.

                “Oh… fuck…” Violet whispered.

                Klaus shook himself out of his dissociative state, “I-it’s not your fault, Vi, it’s not anyone’s fault. I didn’t even remember until now, and-”

                “We need to do  _ something  _ for you, my dude.” Quigley commented. Duncan nodded to Klaus, “Yeah, definitely since we just came out of that fight without a scratch!”

                “I’m sure that’ll strike some fear into the bastard.” Violet grinned deviously. Carmelita nodded furiously, “You don’t even  _ KNOW  _ how  _ satisfying  _ it was to see those crows DESTROY those Kitsune people. Pecking their eyes out and ripping their flesh and-”

                “ _ Carmelita.”  _ Isadora said from behind her mask.

                The red head stopped,

                “What?”

                The poet nodded toward the driver’s seat.

                “...Oh.”

                There was some silence.

                “Jacquelyn?” Duncan looked over to the driver.

                Her face was pale and blank, but there was an underlying blanket of pure rage.

                “...I’m… We’re sorry.” He continued, his voice cracking.

                She swallowed.

                “I’m sure it was… bound to happen.”

                Violet gritted her teeth, “A life for a life, I’m sure they’ll fucking understand.” She snarled.

                “We need to be more careful of Olaf himself. He’s unpredictable. However, those Kitsune are robotic - we can guess their movements.” Jacquelyn changed the subject.

                “Sounds easy enough. Just like fodder. A tiny distraction, easy to slaughter.” Isadora spoke, looking out the window.

                “Though, be prepared for anything. You never know what they’ll do.” Jacquelyn warned.

                Carmelita snorted.

                “Watch each other’s backs.” The woman stated sternly.

* * *

 

                The sun began to hang low in the sky as a plethora of questions and theories plagued the minds of a plethora of people within this expanse of misery and fate.

                The darkness of these thoughts were nothing new to some people, but to others they were entirely new.

                What some of the things that some of these people had seen or will see have been and will be entirely new to them.

                How these people so choose to deal with these predicaments and thoughts is up to them,

                And some of them will be making some. Mistakes.

                Or they already have.

                Or they will be making those mistakes in the near future, perhaps.

                The unfortunate thing about this story is that nothing always goes as planned, as has been seen so far. Maybe the right people aren’t there in time. Maybe someone waited too long. Or maybe they were impatient.

                Excuse the rambling.

                This tends to happen when there is a space in between and all that is happening is currently moving in motion with very little details to note without exposing a certain point in time.

                Like a death, or a kidnapping, or a new friend, an old friend, a dear friend, a fright, a fall, or-

                Maybe.

                A maybe.

                Such is fate.

                Be careful out there.

* * *

 

                “ **_WHERE ARE HOOKY AND HENCHPERSON?_ ** ” Olaf bellowed, slamming open the doors to the abandoned saloon. The white faced women and the bald headed man were sitting at the bar, attempting to play a card game.

                Esmé slid past him,

                “Your losing ‘faithful’ henchpeople,  _ darling. _ ” She teased, swaying her hips tauntingly.

                Olaf sneered at her, “I detest you, woman. Besides, I felt their doubts early on!” He flourished his hand dramatically.

                “Good riddance.” One of the women said, “Rightfully so.” Said the other.

                “They started to slow us down, anyhow.” The bald headed man commented.

                “ _ Exactly!”  _ Olaf laughed, “Exactly.”

                There was a gap of unnerving silence.

                “We’re leaving.” Esmé stated, “Grab your other  _ cronies  _ and let’s get the sugar bowl.”

                “I’m sure that Godforsaken hospital will be there in the morning, darling.” Olaf rolled his eyes, spitting.

                The blonde turned to him, a fierce look in her eye,

                “ _ They’re after the bowl, too.  _ **_Get. Moving._ ** ”

                Olaf felt a shiver run down his spine.

                “How do you know?” The bald man asked innocently.

                Esmé merely looked at him. Daggers.

                “Understood.”

                “Let’s go, idiots.” She spat venomously.


	20. The Hellish Hospital [1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most frightening chapter of their lives has begun.  
> Will they survive it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY SO THIS WAS THE MOST FUN BOOK AND ALSO THE W O R S T TO WRITE SO FAR YOU'LL SEE WHY TY HHHHH DOGFHDSG
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                “I’m bored.”

                “We’re all bored.”

                Quigley squinted at Isadora.

                “We there, yet?”

                Jacquelyn sighed at the boy,

                “No, not as of yet…” The woman trailed off.

                She noticed a road-side store,

 _The Last Chance General Store_.

                “We’ll stop here for a bit. Stretch our legs. How does that sound?”

                There were some grunts, a cheery “Ok!” from Carmelita, followed by Violet blowing a strand of hair from her face. Duncan shook Klaus awake,

                “Huh.”

                “Wake up, hon. We’re making a pit-stop.” Duncan nudged him again.

                Klaus blinked the sleep out of his eyes and watched as the others got out of the cab, stretching. Sunny and Vernal yawned, causing Klaus to start. The cobra must have slid into the toddler’s lap while they were sleeping.

                Violet threw open the passenger side door and leaned down toward her brother, hand on hip,

                “Wakey, wakey, time for a brakey!” She chimed humorously. Klaus stared at her.

                “How are you… like this after what’s happened.”

                She blew some air through pursed lips and stood straight up as he slowly got out,

                “Like I said, a life for a life, and that life will soon be _our’s._ ” She grinned. Sunny hopped down with Vernal wrapped around her shoulders, “Correct.”

                “It’s official - she’s going crazy.” Duncan said as he got out of the cab.

                “Implying she wasn’t already nuts,” Isadora began.

                “ _Liiiike_ the rest of us!” Quigley said happily, going to Violet’s side. The girl giggled at him.

                Klaus blinked,

                “Fantastic. Can’t wait to lose my sanity, next.” He sighed. Duncan placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. The spectacled boy looked at him. They exchanged a silent look of reassurance and affection before Klaus smiled softly and placed a small kiss on Duncan’s head.

                Carmelita made audible gagging noises as Sunny merely walked past the two couples, rolling her eyes.

                Olivia rode up on her motorcycle, stopped, and took off her helmet, sighing heavily.

                Jacquelyn looked toward the slanted, run-down looking building, then turned to the cru, noticing the librarian’s solemn face.

                The chattering teens suddenly fell quiet as they saw Jacquelyn walk over to Olivia. The two women began to whisper softly, Jacquelyn trying to comfort her.

                “I’m assuming we should just. Wait?” Klaus asked quietly. Violet shrugged.

                Jacquelyn glanced back, placed a chaste kiss on Olivia’s lips, then turned to them,

                “I’ll distract the store owner, take whatever we need. Olivia will be lookout.” She said in a low voice.

                Quigley gave her a thumbs up before they all turned to the store, Jacquelyn quickly walking ahead.

                Isadora stopped to look back at Olivia, an empathetic look in her eyes.

                “Don’t worry, sweety. I’ll be fine.”

                Isadora slowly nodded, her eyebrows arched. She then continued on.

                Olivia gave another heavy sigh, resting her arms on the handlebars, leaning forward. Mischief and Mayhem settled on her bike, and one cawed at her. She gave a smile small.

                Violet was stepping just behind Jacquelyn when she noticed a rack of newspapers just outside the entry door. She stopped to look at them, Klaus and Duncan doing the same.

                The others went on inside.

                “ _Murderous Orphans Last Seen In VFD_ \- epic, they know we’re still ‘on the lam’.” Violet complained, crossing her arms. Klaus picked up the newspaper and turned the pages, coming across pictures with purposefully blurred images of bodies.

                “Oh. Ok.” Klaus cleared his throat.

                Duncan made a small noise of worry.

                “Well, at least they’re honest.” Violet shrugged, then walking into the store.

                “W-wait-! _What if we’re recognized!_ ” Duncan whispered harshly before the door closed behind the stubborn girl.

                “I’m sure we’ll be fine.” Klaus said, then placing the newspaper down nervously.

                Inside, Jacquelyn went up to the counter, the store owner turning around in surprise,

                “Oh! Goodness me, customers! We rarely have customers - what can I do you for?”

                Jacquelyn smiled, “Oh, just a rest. Need some small talk. I’ve been driving for a while, now, trying to get back to the city.”

                The store owner chuckled, “Where you comin’ from?”

                “The carnival, actually.”

                “Oh?”

                The two continued to chat as the cru slid around the store, plucking up various items.

                Carmelita skipped around the snacks and sweets, picking up some things and putting them down, unwrapping a lollipop and sticking it into her mouth, poking at some keychains, and weaving her hands through some beaded door dividers.

                Isadora looked at a stack of journals, some pens, occasionally stealing a glance at the counter.

                Klaus and Duncan stuck together, looking at the odd little knick-knacks the store had, whispering and giggling about them.

                Violet and Quigley walked down the aisles, she stuffing food and drinks into his backpack quietly, Quigley making small, stupid noises to make her giggle, “ _Knock it off, stinky, we’re gonna get caught!”._

                Sunny and Vernal toddled around, looking for things to bite on.

                Back outside, a van with flowery designs and an odd, red stain on the front side drove up. Olivia’s head snapped up. She squinted.

                On the van, the letters ‘ _VFD’_ were placed neatly on the door that suddenly slid open.

                Several people filed out of the van, some chattering, others singing a particularly annoying song.

                A song that grated on the ears.

                Let’s not subject ourselves to that.

                Olivia blinked, sitting up straight, and Isadora’s two crows hopped around her to get a better view of the odd humans, turning their heads this way and that.

                She took out her walkie talkie,

                Jacquelyn was busy chatting away with the store owner as the cru finished up their business, quietly gathering near the front.

                “Spy.”

                “Oh! One moment, I need to take this,” She smiled and pulled the device from her pocket, clicking on the channel, “Librarian.”

                “There are some people from a van - it has the letters VFD on the side. They’re… singing? Some of them are-” Olivia’s hushed voice came.

                Jacquelyn’s eyes glinted with irritation.

                “Roger, moving out.”

                “Going so soon?”

                The store owner looked a little hurt, actually. He seemed to enjoy the conversation he was having with her. Jacquelyn nodded, “I apologize, but I’m needed back in the city. Nice talking with you!”

                Outside, another car pulled up.

                A distinctly dirty, run-down looking car.

                Olivia swore.

                “Spy. Bastard Man.”

                Jacquelyn stopped dead in her tracks, then clenching her teeth,

                “Kids. Run.”

                “Run?” Klaus asked, fearful.

                “To the cab.” Jacquelyn eyed them. Violet saluted her, then dashing out the door. The others wasted no time in following her, Carmelita grabbing Sunny, who didn’t object _this_ time.

                The store owner looked on in confusion.

                They dashed over to the cab, hiding behind it, out of view of those exiting the van and the car.

                A few of the people from the van spoke for a moment, and two went inside the store, the others went back into the van.

                Olaf got out of the car, yelling something about chips and a visor.

                Violet felt her muscles tighten in anger. Isadora placed a quiet hand on her back.

                Olaf turned to look at the other vehicles in curiosity, rolling his eyes at the van, ignoring the cab and the motorcycle.

                Klaus supposed that once he saw the garish van, he’d seen enough.

                The vile bastard went inside.

                “...We need that van.” Violet said. Jacquelyn and Olivia looked at her like her head had fallen off.

                “ _Huh?”_ Klaus questioned her.

                “...Yeah I agree with her.” Carmelita spoke up suddenly, “I don’t know, I just think we’d be better off with it.”

                “How the _fuck_ are we going to steal a van?” Duncan hissed.

                “We’re not going to _steal_ it, jackass, we’re going to… infiltrate it? Is that the right word?” Violet nudged Klaus. He stared at her in surprise.

                “They were singing about fighting diseases - clearly they’re going to the hospital.” Quigley snarked.

                “...Fucking, _fine,_ ok, sure.” Duncan squeezed his eyes shut in frustration.

                Jacquelyn sighed deeply, “I’ll sweet-talk them, convince them to hitch the cab to the back of their van.”

                “Lemmie come with you! I’m _super_ good at sweet-talking, since I _am_ the most _sweetest_ girl in the whole wide world.” Carmelita said, grinning. Olivia smiled at her. Jacquelyn raised an eyebrow.

                Klaus didn’t have the heart to correct her. She was having too much fun.

                “God speed, little baby.” Violet said to the red head.

                Jacquelyn and Carmelita carefully made their way to the van, and the door slid open once again.

                A red-headed bearded man looked at them, “Well hey there, sisters! You here to join the Volunteers Fighting Disea-” He began.

                He and Carmelita stared at each other for a moment.

                “... _Little cousin?_ ”

                “ _Cousin Bran!?_ ”

                Jacquelyn’s eyes grew wide in confusion and surprise, and she looked back and forth between the two.

                “... _What?”_

                Carmelita smiled wildly, “Look, there’s no time to explain right now, Bran, we need your help!”

                “What d’you need, Carm?”

                “See that cab? We need to to hitch it to your van. We’re on a mission to kill a pedophile and also find some other stuff.” Carmelita rambled quickly.

                Brandon’s eyes darkened at the word “pedophile”, “Of course. Guys, help me out, will ya? My cousin needs our aid!”

                Jacquelyn cleared her throat, “We’re in a bit of a… tense situation at the moment. Our enemies are here, and I’d rather them not see us.”

                Brandon merely nodded.

                It took some serious finessing, but with the right distractions and some quick movements, everything was hitched up and ready to go. Carmelita decided to right with Brandon. Violet watched as she hopped into the passenger seat, Brandon at the wheel.

                Her trust was verily shot right now, but if he was related to _Carmelita_ … it was fine.

                The rest of the cru piled into the cab, and Olivia hopped back onto her bike.

                Mischief and Mayhem took flight, cawing very loudly together. A dark cloud on the horizon began to move closer.

                “Princess, we’re ready to move out.” Jacquelyn said into her walkie-talkie.

                “Okiedokie!” Carmelita’s voice sing-songed back.

                The van started up, and pulled out quickly, Olivia revving her cycle.

                Olaf’s head snapped around to the exit at the sudden motorcycle noise. He glared heavily, racing to the door and looking out.

                A cab hitched to a large van and - of course - a motorcycle were taking off down the road toward their next destination.

                Esmé got out of the car and slammed the door as he hurried over to it,

                “What the _hell,_ was that _THEM!?”_ He roared. She sneered at him,

                “You damned to hell fucking _idiot,_ of COURSE that was THEM!” She shrieked at him, “Get in the fucking car and _drive.”_

                Olaf rolled his eyes, “Of course, _pet.”_ He spat, sliding around to the driver’s side.

* * *

 

                Carmelita didn’t mind the awful song the others were singing, for she was far too busy catching up with Brandon, who was delightfully listening to her adventure so far. He wasn’t the least bit surprised with the blood stains on her clothing.

                “So, Violet is the one leading the charge?” He asked.

                “Yeah! She’s super badass and pretty and said she’d protect me no matter what!” Carmelita babbled happily.

                Brandon smiled.

                “I’ll be happy to help you out, little cousin!”

                “Great! ...By the way… how’s Uncle doing..?” Carmelita faltered.

                Brandon cleared his throat,

                “Well, I had a little _talk_ with him.”

                “Didja?”

                “In a way. Let’s say he’s… where he belongs.”

                “...What’s that mean, Bran?”

                The man glanced at her,

                “I’ll tell you later, how’s that?”

                Carmelita huffed. He gave her the “Guardian Look”.

                “ _Fine._ But you gotta tell me the moment we have the time!” Carmelita said defiantly.

                “Fine by me, little cuz.”

                The walkie-talkie in Carmelita’s pocket crackled, and she plucked it out.

                “Princess. Tell him to step on it. We’re being followed - far behind.” Jacquelyn’s voice came.

                Brandon made an affirmative noise, and slammed his foot onto the gas pedal. Carmelita cackled wildly.

                Back in the cab, the cru suddenly felt a jolt,

                “ _gaaAAS GAAAS GAAAAAS,_ **_I’M GONNA STEP ON THE GAS_ ** _,”_ Quigley sang loudly, causing Violet to start cackling as Klaus and Duncan yelled loudly at the sudden great increase in speed. There was a roar of laughter between Quigley, Violet, and Sunny among the other boy’s screams. Isadora chuckled at the chaos. Jacquelyn merely placed her device down and rubbed her temples.

                Olivia glanced backwards, then sped ahead to match the speed of the van, riding alongside it.

                The amount of dust the vehicles kicked up clouded up behind them, certainly making it hard for anyone following to keep sight of them.

                “If we’re fast enough, we’ll be able to make it there by the time the sun has set.” Violet said once the noise settled. Klaus swallowed hard, still trying to recover, “Yeah, s-something like that.”

                “Don’t be a couple of losers.” Quigley grinned at them. Duncan and Klaus made exasperated noises.

                “Sugar bowl?” Sunny asked, her little arms crossed. 

                Violet looked to the driver’s seat, “Sunny’s asking why this thing is so important, anyhow.”

                Jacquelyn sighed,

                “I know about as much as you do. I don’t understand Esmé’s obsession with it, I have no idea what’s in it, all I know is… both sides really want the thing.”

                “Then we need to get it first.” Violet spoke sternly, “That way it’s not in the hands of a _cult_.”

                “What are we, then?” Duncan questioned.

                “Vigilantes.” Violet answered without a second thought.

                “So… not _Volunteers_ but… vigilantes?” Klaus asked.

                Violet shrugged.

                “We’re simply looking to… destroy a vile man capable of things that are disgusting and evil.” Isadora helped, pulling down her mask slightly.

                “ _Yeaaaah~.”_ Violet said, looking at Isadora happily.

                “What about… Orwell.” Duncan asked.

                “She was helping Olaf, and I didn’t have a choice. We had to survive.” Klaus said quickly.

                He felt himself sink. Duncan blinked at him.

                “Don’t feel bad.” Isadora stated, “Sometimes you just need to do what you have to.”

                “Besides, like you said, she _was_ helping Olaf.” Quigley said matter-of-factly.

                Klaus set his head back on the seat, looking up at the roof of the cab.

                “I don’t think morals and ethics come into play when you’re trying to escape a pedophile and a murderous woman.” Duncan attempted.

                “But now we’re… chasing him.” Klaus said.

                “And he’s still chasing _us.”_ Violet snapped, “It’s either us or _him,_ little brother.”

                Klaus clenched his jaw.

* * *

 

                The sun had slipped below the horizon as the van pulled up to Heimlich Hospital. The plethora of singing Disease members filed out of the van, holding balloons, and moved to the entrance of the hospital.

                The cru got out of the cab, stretching, silent, save for some yawns and groans. Carmelita hopped out of the van and spun about.

                She stopped, staring at the odd red stain on the front side.

                “Hey, Bran?”

                “Yea, little cuz?” Brandon responded, closing the doors of the van.

                “What’s this red stuff?”

                Brandon cleared his throat,

                “Bad paint job - never did clean it up. ‘Meant to!” He replied.

                Carmelita blinked at him.

                “Gotcha!”

_He’ll tell me later._

                The others walked over to them,

                “Hey, Brandon, right? What’s with this… VFD shit?” Violet asked. Brandon smiled,

                “Well, the Volunteers Fighting Disease do just that - we fight disease with smiles and songs!”

                “...You fight disease with medicines and medical aid, actually.” Klaus argued.

                Brandon shrugged, “Well, sometimes smiles can go a long way.”

                Violet squinted,

                “Are you in any way in affiliation with the Volunteer Fire Department? Need a sugar bowl, maybe?”

                Brandon raised an eyebrow,

                “The what?”

                His eyes looked confused. Violet didn’t doubt it.

                “The only time he’s heard about a sugar bowl is through me, Vi.” Carmelita stated, “I filled him in, no worries.”

                “...Hopefully with no biases.” Violet grumbled at her, knowingly.

                “Uh, _duuuh,_ of course not, ‘cause I know you’d _clobber_ me.” Carmelita droned on.

                “Jack _aaayyyy_ , what’s the plan?” Quigley called, throwing an arm around Violet.

                Jacquelyn crossed her arms, “Brandon and Carmelita - you two will go and look for the sugar bowl in all of the storage rooms - Brandon knows this place, right?”

                “I sure do, sister!” He said happily.

                “We’ll find that stupid thing, no biggie.” Carmelita said triumphantly.

                “Excellent. I’ll be out here with Olivia - we’ll be your eyes, as per usual. Violet, the rest of you will need to search the library of records. We need to find out any information about VFD that wasn’t in that book - there are definitely things even _I_ don’t know.” Jacquelyn said.

                Violet nodded, “Alright. Epic.”

                Olivia nodded, “We’ll meet at the ground floor of the unfinished half of the hospital - sound good?”

                “Sounds great!” Brandon said.

                “Alright people, let’s move out, bastard man and witch bitch will be here soon, and I don’t want to deal with them right now.” Quigley said. Violet hummed in agreement.

* * *

 

                Brandon led them inside the hospital, which was dim and gray, which didn’t surprise them.

                “Oh, Brandon! There you are! OH-!” A woman at the reception counter began, but was startled by the cru members who had… blood stains on them.

                “Don’t worry about them, Babs, they’re with me.” Brandon smiled.

                “The- the uh, the-” Babs stuttered.

                “All part of our routine - it’s a work in progress.” Violet offered. The woman nodded, smiling nervously. She looked like she was going to faint.

                She reached for a brown paper bag and began to breath in and out of it quickly.

                They stared at her.

                “Uh…” Klaus said.

                “- _Anyways!_ Nice to meet you, Babs, we’ve gotta go, though. Patients waiting on smiles - I’m sure you understand. Good night!” Quigley said quickly.

                Babs just… nodded, and watched them as they went down the hallway.

                As soon as they were out of sight, they stopped, and huddled.

                “Alright, gaymers, listen - you know the drill. Carm, Bran - work fast, but don’t skimp-” Violet began, but Sunny made a noise.

                “Whatissit, sunshine?” Violet asked, looking down at the toddler.

                She pointed at Brandon and Carmelita, “With them.” Vernal flicked their tongue.

                “...If you wanna go with them and look for the porcelain pain-in-my-ass, sure, go ahead. The more eyes we have for the thing, the better.” Violet shrugged.

                “We’ll look after her, don’t worry.” Brandon remarked.

                “Oh, she can look after herself pretty well. She bit out a dude’s jugular, once.” Carmelita recalled. Brandon blinked at her,

                “Well, then.”

                “I _know,_ right!?”

                Isadora coughed. Quigley smiled wide, nodding.

                “ _AaAaAaAnyways,_ eyes on the prize, y'all. Get going. 'Rest of you - with me.” Violet continued.

                There were some nods, and Quigley tried to put his hand in as a team break, but was left hanging. He made a noise of disappointment as they all moved off, Duncan patting his back.


	21. The Hellish Hospital [2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter how hard you train, how hard you try, you're never truly prepared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO HELL!!!! WELCOME TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                While the Spats and Sunny went off to inspect the storage rooms, the elder Baudelaires and Quagmires went to dig up some dirt on V.F.D.

                “Where is this library, anyways?” Quigley asked as they weaved around medical supplies and medical professionals, getting odd looks.

                “We’re following the signs - if you’ve been paying any attention.” Klaus said.

                “Sarcasm noted.” Quigley breathed.

                The intercom scratched to life, and they heard something about various sections of the hospital closing off for the night, including the Library of Records.

                “Fuck,” Violet swore, “We need to move faster.”

                As they picked up their pace, they nearly ran into a towering figure before them. Duncan reached out his arms, stopping them from entering a head-on collision.

                “Why, hello! What are you young people doing here?” The man asked, squinting through his spectacles.

                Isadora blinked at the man.

                Klaus wet his lips,

                “We’re looking for the Library of Records.”

                The man sighed, “Ooh, I’m sorry, children, but I’m afraid I just locked up for the night.”

                Violet swore under her breath.

                Isadora raised her eyebrows. She turned to Violet, nudging her slightly. The girls gave each other a knowing look.

                “You look after the library?” Duncan asked.

                “Why, yes I do! Why do you ask?” The man questioned.

                “We… uh…” Klaus tried. Violet pinched her brothers arm, (“ _Ow,_ what!?”)

                “We were sent to help out, but I suppose we came to late today? I hope we haven’t disappointed you...”

                The man laughed, “Oh, no! I wasn’t expecting any help, actually, but I’d be _happy_ to hire you lot! I’m not upset at all. Here, come with me, let’s go someplace where we can talk. I’m Hal, by the way!”

                The teens exchanged glances before following Hal back down the hallway.

* * *

 

                “Where _is_ this stupid thing?” Carmelita wondered desperately.

                They had been through only two storage rooms, Sunny being able to bite the locks to let them in.

                “We’ve only been in two storage rooms so far, Carm. Be patient.” Brandon reassured the girl. She let out a huff as she dug through more junk in the cluttered room.

                “Did you make that bat yourself?” Brandon asked, wondering about the nailed bat strapped to her back.

                “Oh,” Carmelita turned to him, grabbing the handle form over her shoulder, “Nah, Vivi made it for me! It’s a... long story. I've been getting pretty good with it, though!”

                Brandon’s eyes glittered,

                “I’m proud of you, cuz!”

                Carmelita smiled wide, “Thanks a ton!!”

                Sunny and Vernal were busy climbing some of the metal shelves in the room, inspecting the contents closely, “Pay ‘ttention.” The toddler said suddenly. Vernal hissed in agreement.

                “We’re just taking a _break.”_ Carmelita whined. Sunny turned to the red head, a little hand on her waist.

                Carmelita let out a raspberry.

                “Be nice, you two. Besides, Sunny is right.” Brandon mediated.

                Carmelita rolled her eyes and continued to sift through the junk.

* * *

 

                The teens and Hal had made their way to the ground floor of the unfinished side of the hospital, and Hal excused himself to go and make dinner.

                Once he had left, Violet let out a groan,

                “Why are we wasting time like this!? That vile fuck could be _here_ already, and we’re stuck _playing nice_ with this-”

                “ _Very nice_ man - Vi, please, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Duncan said softly.

                Her face burned red, and she crossed her arms.

                “ _Waaauuaww_ , is the lil feral babby gettin’ all _mayud_ _?”_ Quigley teased, wrapping his arms around her. Violet’s anger quickly melted into flushed embarrassment.

                “I’m going to lose my dinner and Hal _just_ left to go make it.” Klaus said plainly. Duncan laughed, leaning into him. Isadora smiled behind her mask.

                They then sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

                “...What do you guys wanna do after it all.” Duncan spoke up.

                “What?” Violet asked simply.

                Duncan sighed, “Well, we’re going to… finish what was started eventually.” He looked between the others,

                “What are you guys going to do?”

                Quigley blinked.

                “Well,” Violet breathed, “I just… I want to find a place to hide for a while. Just. Lay around and do nothing.”

                Quigley smiled at her, “That sounds pretty good.”

                “When the battle is over and the dust finally clears,” Isadora said from behind her mask, “Then we can lick our wounds and dry our tears.”

                Duncan smiled at his sister. Violet held onto Isadora’s hand, squeezing it gently.

* * *

 

                The chicken soup Hal had made was warm and soothing. It was perfect in the midst of the teen’s chaotic lives.

                “So, where are you parents?” Hal asked in the midst of their conversation.

                Their smiles suddenly fell, and the silence was cold.

                “...They’re…” Klaus began.

                “Dead.” Violet finished.

                Quigley pulled at his sleeves and Duncan pulled his hood down over his eyes.

                Isadora took in a deep breath.

                Hal looked deeply hurt,

                “Oh, children, I’m so sorry…”

                Violet swallowed hard,

                “It’s alright. We’re… surviving.”

                Hal nodded sympathetically.

                Some time passed before the man finally fell asleep up against the wall. Violet and Isadora began to conduct the plan they silently agreed on.

                Violet drew another spare ribbon from her skirt pocket, grabbing some washers quietly nearby, and began to string them onto said ribbon.

                Isadora quietly pickpocketed the ring of keys from Hal’s coat pocket, grabbing the fake keyring from Violet, and using it to replace said keys.

                “That should do it.” Quigley whispered, “This is a shitty thing to do, but we’ve gotta do it.”

                “Like every other thing we’ve done so far.” Klaus knitted his eyebrows together in worry.

                “Whatever it takes to survive.” Isadora looked back at him.

                All the boy could do is nod.

                “Let’s yeet out, nerds. We’ve got shit to do.” Violet said as she stood up. The group quickly and silently moved across the dusty ground.

* * *

 

                Brandon, Carmelita, Sunny, and Vernal each made their way to yet another storage room, Sunny once again biting the knob enough to break the lock.

                “Sore…” The small girl complained, rubbing her jaw. Vernal flicked their tongue on her cheek, and she patted their head in return.

                “Don’t worry, Sunshine, I’m sure we’ll get what we need, soon.” Carmelita tried to reassure her, “Now, let’s see what we’ve got-”

                They heard the shattering of glass just down the hall.

                “What the _fuck?”_ Brandon swore, and they quickly went into the room, peeking out the doorway.

                With each crash, the hallway became dimmer, and the intercom scratched to life once again… this time with a more sinister sounding voice.

                “Good evening, Heimlich Hospital! Nurse Gigi here - the ravenous, murderous orphans have found their way here, so there will be routine room checks. Worry not, though, I’m sure they’re not after just _anyone_. We hope. Good night!”

                Carmelita started to shake.

                “I’m guessing those are our enemies?” Brandon whispered.

                “He’s here.” Sunny said suddenly, pulling on Brandon’s pant leg.

                As the hallway got darker, he came into view, wearing a trashy doctor’s disguise, dirty coat and all, smashing the lights above him, stalking down the hallway.

                The Spats and the biters quickly slipped into the storage room, quietly shutting the door.

                “Sunny, you and I need to… to hide. He’ll recognize us, he won’t know who you are, Bran, if he comes in here.” Carmelita stammered nervously.

                “No problem, I’ve got you. Remain calm.” Brandon reassured her. She only nodded. Brandon then found a good pile of junk for the girls (And Vernal) to hide in, then continuing to do the search.

                There was a harsh knock at the door,

                “ _Inspection!”_

                Brandon jumped, but plastered a smile on his face, heading to the door.

                He opened it, revealing Count Olaf.

                “Oh. This is just a storage room. Again.” Olaf looked past Brandon,

                “...What are _you_ smiling about, freak?”

                Brandon laughed, “Well, brother, there’s always something to smile about, especially if you’re fighting diseases with ‘em!”

                Olaf rolled his eyes, “You’re one of _those_ people aren’t you? Scurrying around the hospital singing those _annoying_ little _songs.”_ He turned, continuing down the hallway, “ _Like that will be of any help to these rotting corpses.”_

                Brandon’s smile fell as he closed the door,

                “That ain’t no brother of mine.” He glowered.

                “No kidding.” Sunny said, popping up from the junk pile. Carmelita slowly slowly stood up, shivering still.

                Brandon’s face fell into worry, rushing over to tenderly hold her arms, “Are you alright, Carm?”

                She swallowed.

                “Carmelita.”

                “I’m fine.” She lied.

                He looked at her.

                “We need to keep moving. Keep looking.” Carmelita said stubbornly, “We need to avoid him.”

                Brandon and Sunny watched as she frantically looked about the metal shelves.

* * *

 

                The teens quickly walked through the halls, keeping a close eye out for Olaf or Esmé.

                “I told you, _I TOLD you-”_ Violet growled, speeding ahead of them, tightly holding the keys.

                “Vi, it’s gonna be chill, don’t worry. We’re prepared. If we meet them, we’ll slaughter them! Simple stuff.” Quigley tried.

                Violet glanced back at him with fiery anger.

                “...Right.” His voice cracked.

                “Jacquelyn said he’s capable of things that we wouldn’t be prepared for - so we need to prepare for anything.” Klaus reminded them,

                “Keep your weapons at the ready. Don’t stop moving.”

                Isadora made a noise of agreement.

                They soon came upon the door to the Library of Records, and Violet brought up the keys,

                Which there were a dozen of.

                “Oh. Fucking grand.” She spat, beginning the trial of keys.

                Somewhere down the hall, there came a clanging of metal against concrete. Isadora’s eyes widened.

                “...What’s that noise..?” Duncan whispered.

                “It’s probably nothing.” Klaus let out, trying to stay calm, “Violet-”

                “ _I’m going-”_ She hissed.

_Clank._

                “Thank GOD.” Violet praised. They they slipped into the door, closed it, and locked it tightly shut again.

                The clanging drew louder and closer still.

                “Something wicked this way comes.” Isadora said.

                “Exactly. We need to work fast.” Klaus said.

                They all turned, and saw that the Library was actually rows upon rows of tall, wide file cabinets.

                “...What the shit?” Klaus’s face fell into disappointment.

                “Well, that’s new.” Duncan commented.

                Violet shook her head, “Whatever, Klaus, I’m guessing shit’s organized here by letter. Obvious start is ‘V’ for ‘V.F.D.’”

                Klaus nodded, “I’ll look for that.” and took off.

                “Then ‘S’ for ‘Snicket’ or ‘Sugar Bowl’.”

                Duncan nodded to her, moving past them.

                “‘Q’ for ‘Quagmire’.”

                Isadora shrugged.

                “And ‘B’ for Baudelaire.”

                Quigley glanced at the door, “I’ll hide behind the closest cabinet to the door, watch it for us. It looks like there are other doors in here, too, but I dunno if they’re all locked as well.”

                “We just need to be careful. Quick and careful.” Violet breathed before turning to go and find the ‘B’ cabinet. Quigley nodded.

                He slipped behind a nearby cabinet and stared at the door, hearing the clanging get closer.

* * *

 

                “There’s no doubt they’re trying to find us.” Carmelita said shakily.

                “Library of Records.” Sunny stated simply.

                “...We need to find what we need and _get out of here_.” The red head whispered.

                Brandon rested a hand on a shelf nearby and turned to her,

                “Carmelita, it’s going to be _ok.”_

                The girl squeezed her eyes shut,

                “I know what people like _him_ can do to Violet. And Isadora. And… and _me.”_

                Brandon’s breathing stopped briefly.

                “... _What do you mean?”_

                Carmelita opened her eyes, throwing her head back in anguish, trying to stop tears - 

                “I killed…”

                “Carm,”

                “I _killed_ some… I _had_ to. Someone…” She choked out, staring at him.

                “Did… did something happen at Prufrock?” Brandon asked slowly.

                She clenched her jaw, and slammed her fist down on the shelf behind her, causing some things to clatter, and other things to fall.

                Brandon went over to hold her. She kept slamming her fist onto the shelf.

                “Carmelita, listen, it’s ok - you don’t have to tell me what happened, it’s fine.”

                There was an eventual distinct sound of clattering porcelain.

                Brandon moved his head in the direction of the noise.

                “Carm?”

                She began to settle down, “Wh...what.”

                “Do you hear that.”

                She stared at him, placing her fist down one last time.

                “No, keep doing that, I think it’s here.”

                “...What?”

                “The sugar bowl.”

                Carmelita’s eyes widened. She turned and began to drum on the shelf, and the clattering continued.

                Brandon scrambled to listen to the noise, lifting up other items, pulling away others, and finally, lifting a piece of cloth - 

                There it was.

                “... _Holy shit.”_

                Carmelita blinked. She then rushed over to the bowl and plucked it up,

                “...I’ll tell you about what Nero did later, the _fucking bastard_ , but for now, we have what the bitchy witch lady wants.”

                Brandon looked at her nervously.

                “ _And she’s not gonna get it.”_ She cackled.

* * *

 

                Violet looked through the ‘B’ file, coming up empty. She growled.

                “Hey, is there something in here that can play films?” Duncan called out.

                “I mean, there should be, if some of the files in this bitch _are_ films.” Violet called back.

                “I’ll go and look. Besides, I’m not finding anything here, anyways.” Klaus shouted.

                Isadora made another noise of agreement. “ _Coming up dry here as well.”_

                “Whatever you found, D, it better be worth it.” Violet said in annoyance.

                “Trust me, it is.”

                “Found something!” Klaus called.

                The teens gathered at the film projector the boy had found, and Klaus took the film from Duncan, placing it into the projector.

                “Snicket… top secret?” Klaus squinted his eyes in the dim light, and the device came to life.

                Jacque Snicket came into light, and a voice from behind the camera spoke.

                Jacques’s mouth moved slowly, and the teens all looked at each other.

                “...There’s a survivor of the Baudelaire fire?” Isadora whispered.

                Violet and Klaus looked at each other.

_That can’t be true._

_This can’t be real._

                In the deafening silence, save for the noises coming from the projector, the teens stared at each other, a mix of emotions running through them.

                “ **_GUYS-_ **” Quigley’s panicked voice came.

                “I’m all about movies - _Now whO_ **_WANTS POPCORN!?_ ** _”_

                The other teen’s heads snapped towards the sudden voice just in front of them.

                There stood Esmé, dressed in the furs of various slaughtered animals, grinning dangerously.

                Klaus flicked off the device, and the teens stood, staring at the feral woman in silent terror.

                “ _Run.”_ Violet whispered,

                And they scattered, running every direction, pulling their weapons from their person.

                Esmé growled, stepping forward, her knife heel getting stuck in the floor. As the teens ran, she angrily pulled her foot from the concrete,

                “We need to get the _fuck_ out of here.” Klaus stammered, Violet running with him.

                “We can _kill_ the bitch!” Violet hissed as they hid behind a cabinet. She cocked her gun.

                Klaus looked from her to the woman currently eyeing them from a cabinet far down the rows. Isadora snuck somewhere nearby. The Quagmire boys were looking at the various exit doors.

                “N-no.” Klaus said, his voice cracking.

                “ _Now is not the time to have morals, you little SHIT!”_ Violet hissed angrily. They began to move to another cabinet, and Esmé followed from down the line, watching them like a lion to prey.

                “This isn’t about _morals,_ Violet,” Klaus tried to explain,

                “We need that film.”

                “ _We already know what’s on it, fuckshit, why the hell would we need it?”_

                “We can’t let Esmé and Olaf find out that one of our parents might still be alive.”

                Violet blinked at him in response.

                “Fine.”

                They began to slowly move back in the direction of the projector,

                Violet keeping her gun aimed in Esmé’s direction.

                They peered around the cabinet they came to, only for Esmé to do the same.

                She grinned, pointing at them with one sharp nail.

                Klaus’s breath hitched in his throat.

                Then, they heard the loud, banging sound of falling cabinets.

                “ _MOVE!”_ Duncan’s terrified voice came.

                “ **_I’M FILING YOU UNDER ‘S’ FOR   S M A S H E D   F L A T !!_ **” The feral woman screamed over the noise. The elder Baudelaires fled from the falling cabinets.

                “You need to get the fuck out of here, I’m the fastest.” Violet spoke quickly.

                “No.”

                “Don’t _fucking_ argue with me.” She said before taking off. Klaus let out an angry groan before taking out one of his poison darts and hiding behind another cabinet.

                Violet slid behind another cabinet nearby, glaring at him.

                He ignored her.

                He took aim at the woman,

                And threw.

_Twang._

                Klaus swore violently under his breath.

                Esmé whirled around, noticing the dart stuck into the cabinet beside her,

                “... _Oh,_ this is _RICH.”_ She cackled. Duncan arched his eyebrows as he moved to one of the exit doors, and Isadora slid along the wall nearby.

                The feral woman glanced at the main doors behind, then violently pulling down a cabinet, blocking them.

                Klaus grit his teeth.

                “ _SsshhIT.”_ Violet hissed, absolutely pissed.

                “Peek-a-boo~ I SEE _YOUUU!_ ” Esmé giggled, not at all sane, then knocking over another row of cabinets.

                Her foot got caught in the floor again, causing her to howl in anger,

                “ _FUCK,_ these _SHOES!”_

                Klaus snickered.

                Violet had found the projector, and was busy trying to reel back the film, watching in a panic as Esmé tore the Library apart.

                “The door’s blocked! _There’s no way out!”_ Esmé grinned deviously, “But you don’t have to _hide_ from me, lovelies! _Maybe we can help each other~!”_ She faked sweetly.

                Violet rolled her eyes, then seeing Duncan motion toward her down the way, Isadora staring at her with fearful eyes.

                “Yooouu see, I’m _looking_ for something!” Esmé began,

                “Small… _Round…”_

                Violet looked down at the film,

                Clearly that wasn’t it.

                She was looking for the sugar bowl.

                But… if she wanted to think they had it in their possession…

                The woman shoved over another row of cabinets.

                “... _Full of secrets…”_ Esmé continued.

                Klaus swallowed.

                “Jacques Snicket thought he could _hide_ it from me…”

                Another row of cabinets went down.

                “But now… he’s _dead.”_

                Violet swore at the device in an attempt to get it to go faster. Somehow.

                Duncan and Isadora were standing by a mail chute some bit a ways from her, and she gave them a desperate look.

                Quigley slid up next to them as Violet began to motion them to go.

                Duncan gave her a _pleading_ look.

                Esmé stepped slowly, then coming to a complete stop, scraping her knife heels on the floor,

                “ **_A N D   I   W A N T    I T ! !_ **”

                Then beginning to shove over row upon row of cabinets.

                The film finally finished reeling back up, Violet snatched it up and shoved it into the holder, rolling her eyes in anger. Klaus sped over to the others, she did as well.

                “Fucking _finally,_ what the HELL were you THINKING?” Quigley snapped at her. Violet hissed, “Klaus thought it’d be a bad idea for them to know. Now GO, we can’t keep wasting any fucking time-”

                Isadora and Duncan had already opened the door and slid into the chute. Klaus grumbled at her, “Look, it’ll be a good thing later, just _trust_ me.”

                “...Sure whatever, _go.”_ Violet sneered at him. He let out a huff before sliding into the chute. Quigley climbed in after him.

                As he was about to slide down, Violet handed him the film,

                And Esmé pushed over the row of cabinets in front of the chute.

                “Oh. Fuck.” Quigley said simply.

                Violet’s eyes grew wide before moving out of the way, nearly being crushed. The two then began to scramble to try to remove the cabinet so Violet could get into the chute’s opening.

                “Fffuck, _FUCK-_ Listen, it’s no use. I’ll just,” She glanced back at the advancing Esmé, “I’ll find another way.”

                “No, _no,”_ Quigley begged her.

                “ _GO.”_ Violet yelled. He looked at the film and to her.

                “ _I KNEW YOU HAD IT!”_ Esmé hissed, dashing towards them. Violet quickly moved out of the way as the terrifying woman tried to squeeze herself through the small gap with little success. Quigley leaned out of the way of her sharp, grasping hand.

                Violet ran quickly to hide behind another cabinet, trying to keep her hands steady on her pistol.

                “ _YOU’RE ALL ALONE, VIOLET.”_

                She heard the woman scream. She swallowed hard, then peering around the cabinet, seeing a glimpse of her blonde hair.

                She aimed and let off a nervous shot.

                It whizzed past her.

                “... _How does it feel?”_ Esmé mocked, not fazed by the gunshot.

                Violet swore desperately and moved to another cabinet,

_Don’t be nervous. Stop. Stop it. Focus. **FOCUS.** _

                She slid to yet another one, trying to look for an exit door,

                And low and behold,

                There stood one, at the far end of the room.

_Must be the doors Isadora was sliding around… though they might be locked._

                She moved out a tad to see-

                And a sharp heel came flying towards her head,

                Quickly ducking,

_SHING._

                “ _God…”_ Violet begged out loud. She got back up, running toward the row of exit doors,

_One of them has to be unlocked. ONE of them, at **LEAST.** _

                She turned to see Esmé not far off, running close by. She attempted to fire off another shot.

                Missed.

                Esmé cackled,

                “YOUR AIM A LITTLE OFF, DARLING? I MAKE YOU THAT NERVOUS?”

                Violet felt her breath burn in her throat. She then watched as Esmé began quickly shoving over more rows of cabinets in an attempt to stop or crush the girl.

                Violet dashed quickly, the cabinets behind her falling one by one, nearly clipping her from behind.

                She finally came to the door as Esmé screamed from behind her,

                “ _GIVE IT TO ME!! I’LL LET YOU GO, I_ **_PROMISE!_ **”

_SHWING._

                The second sharp heel stabbed into the door as Violet moved quickly away from her, dropping her pistol in a panic, and running to the other doors, yanking at the knobs, praying furiously.

                “You’re a _terrible_ actress, you _bitch._ ” Violet swore at her, yanking on the last door.

                “Come to _mother…”_ Esmé called sweetly, stalking towards her, kicking the pistol to the side with a bare foot.

                Violet finally yanked the door open, and she gave a sigh of relief.

                Only to find herself face to face with a certain vile, disgusting man.

                She stood frozen in fear.

                Esmé worked quickly, grabbing her tightly.

                “ _Hello, hello, hello!”_

                He grinned at her, yanking the knives from her sheaths and throwing them to the side,

                “Didn’t she have another pistol?” He asked.

                Esmé shrugged, “I guess not.”

                “Eh, well.” He gave a disgusting grin,

                “Come with me, my dear little pet. There’s much for us to _talk_ about.” Then grabbing her, causing her to cry out in a mix of agony and deep anger.

                “Isn’t it _wonderful_ when we work together?” Esmé added, then pushing over another row of cabinets.

                They made their way out of the doorway, Violet wailing and kicking, Olaf laughing, and Esmé slamming the door behind her as she cackled.

                Quigley looked on in fear, tears welling up in his eyes.

                The rest of the cru was _not_ going to like this.


	22. The Hellish Hospital [3]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The light at the end of the tunnel is a lot farther than you'd think.
> 
>  
> 
> But you'll get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
> im ok
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                Klaus paced nervously on the dusty floor. Hal was nowhere to be seen. It was dark. Duncan was panicking, nearly crying. Quigley was sobbing, curled up in a ball on the ground. Isadora was trying her best to comfort him.

                “Call her. On the walkie talkie.” Klaus looked to Isadora.

                She pulled down her face mask,

                “Are you fucking insane? We’ll just get Olaf. He’ll somehow figure out where we are.”

                “Then call Jacquelyn and Olivia.”

                Isadora ground her teeth, getting out her walkie talkie,

                “Spy. Librarian. Urgent.”

                No answer.

                “...Well, I guess we know why they didn’t inform us that they were here!” Duncan cried out in anguish.

                “Son of a BITCH.” Klaus swore angrily.

                Things were falling apart. Fast.

                “Call Carm. She _has_ to be ok.”

                Isadora nodded, fiddling with the device.

                “Princess.”

                There was some crackling noise before an excited voice came,

                “YOU GUYS AREN’T GOING TO BELIEVE THIS SHIT-”

                “Carm, listen, this is urgent.”

                “WE FOUND THE FUCKING SUGAR BOWL.”

                They all stopped short.

                “...The… you _what?”_

 _“WE FOUND IT BITCHEEEES!!”_ Carmelita yelled.

                “Quiet.” Sunny’s voice interrupted.

                Klaus rubbed his face. Duncan blinked.

                “That’s. Excellent news, actually, but we have something _bigger_ on our hands at the moment, Carmelita.” Isadora said.

                “...Yeah?”

                “...Violet has been captured by Count Olaf.”

                There was deafening silence on the other end.

                Isadora breathed in and out deeply before saying,

                “Meet us back at the ground floor.”

                “Ok.”

                The line clicked out.

                “...She’s mad.” Quigley spoke suddenly between shuttered sobs, “You could hear it in - she’s fucking _pissed.”_

                “You got that just from an ‘ _ok_ ’?” Duncan asked him, still emotionally distressed as all hell.

                Quigley buried his head back into his knees. Isadora wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

                Klaus looked at his anxious friends.

                He’d never felt more hopeless in his life.

                Or terrified, either.

* * *

 

                “That was easier than I thought!” Olaf smiled, tightening the belts on Violet’s arms behind her back.

                “Shut the FUCK UP, _FUCKING PEDOPHILE PIECE OF_ **_SHIT-_ **” Violet screeched.

                Esmé growled at her, “Could you _please_ put something on this little brat’s mouth?”

                Olaf rolled his eyes, going to a nearby shelf, grabbing some medical tape.

                “And it was _easy_ because _I_ did all the WORK, you damned _fool_.” Esmé spat at him as he ripped some tape off the roll, slapping it onto a crying, screaming Violet.

                “They’re more terrified of you than they are of me, for some reason, though now I think I’ve made my point - there now, my little toy, you’re prettier when you’re _quiet.”_ Olaf smiled down at her, patting her cheek.

                She let out a muffled scream, staring him down with all the hatred she could muster. Her heart felt like it was going to burst from her chest.

                He slapped her.

                Esmé looked away, “Must you treat her that way, darling? She’s a child, a _lady_.”

                “She’s been _naughty_. _Deserves_ it.” He gave a sickening grin. Esmé stared at him.

                Violet squeezed her eyes shut.

                “We need to find the other little shits and kill them.” Olaf sneered, “Where are those Kitsune people?”

                Esmé rolled her eyes, “Don’t touch the girl - I’m getting baldy to look after her, you’re coming with me, we need to find the fucking bowl. They have it.”

                Olaf shook in anger, “I _finally_ have what I came for, and you’re worried about that _fucking sugar bowl-”_

                The blonde stepped closer to him, a decimating stare on her face, leaning into his face,

                “The entire reason we’re in this _fucking_ situation is because of that _fucking_ bowl, and so help me I WILL have it back in mY DAMNED HANDS, EVEN IF IT MEANS STEPPING ON EVERYONE AND ANYTHING TO GET IT BACK, **INCLUDING YOU.** ”

                Olaf gulped.

                “Now, with me. BALDY.” Esmé shouted.

                The bald headed man opened the door, peeking his head in.

                “Watch the girl. Don’t touch her or you’ll end up like hooky - handless. I'll even do it to you _myself._ ”

                He simply nodded and slid into the room. Esmé proceeded to walk out of the room, Olaf reluctantly following her.

                He turned back to a hopeless looking Violet, who looked at him with fear-filled eyes.

                “I’ll be back soon, my little pet. Don’t you worry.”

                She scooted backwards into the corner of the room as the door closed behind him, looking up at the bald man.

                “I’m not going to do anything to you. I wouldn't want to anger Mrs. Squalor.” He spoke, smiling.

                She quickly looked away.

* * *

 

                Jacquelyn and Olivia were currently tied back to back, surrounded by a few Kitsune.

                “...How did this happen?” Jacquelyn asked angrily. Olivia shrugged.

                “You _know_ those children are in grave danger now. They’re not ready to do this on their own like this - Olivia are you even listening to me!?” She continued.

                Olivia looked silently to the box where their weapons were kept.

                “...They’ve stepped their game up. Caught us off guard. We need to get better, we need to - _Olivia.”_

                “Hush.” The librarian stated plainly.

                Esmé walked into the room, “You’re needed. Go.”

                The Kitsune nodded, then left.

                Esmé walked over to the two women.

                “Jacquelyn, _daaarling,_ SO good to see you again.” She forced a sickeningly sweet smile down to the auburn haired woman.

                She sneered.

                “Oh, don’t be so cruel, darling. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you, yes? How long has it been?”

                The blonde knelt down beside them,

                “And who’s this? You find a new girlfriend?” She nodded towards Olivia, who remained quiet.

                “You find someone else to replace me? Though, who _can_ replace me. Honestly.” She laughed, “I didn’t know you were into geeky hags.”

                “ _Shut it.”_ Jacquelyn snapped, “You know _exactly_ why we ended it, you crazy _bitch.”_

                “Oh, darling, I’m hurt!” Esmé placed a hand on her chest, jutting out a pouty lip.

                “What did you do to the children.” Jacquelyn glared.

                “One rat has been trapped, the others are still on the loose.” She smiled, “The shitty little mouthy one Olaf _likes_ so much.” Her face fell.

                Jacquelyn jolted against her restraints.

                Olivia felt a hard jolt of fear run through her.

_Violet… no…!_

                “Don’t worry about it - Olaf isn’t alone with her. I wouldn’t allow it. I still have _somewhat_ of a heart.” Esmé whispered to them.

                “Whore.” Jacquelyn spit at her feet.

                Esmé merely smiled, “You’re in no place to call names, darling, seeing as how you’re in a bit of a _bind_ at the moment.” She then got up and turned to leave,

                “Enjoy your confines, darlings. Don’t miss me too much~!”

                “We won’t.” Jacquelyn hissed quietly.

                The door shut tightly as the room was left with only them and the growing silence.

                “Jacquelyn.” Olivia finally spoke. Jacquelyn perked up and looked back.

                “What is it, love?”

                “Do you think we could move our way over to that box? Idiots left us alone.” She replied.

                Jacquelyn smirked.

                “Let’s get the hell out of here. The children need us.”

* * *

 

                Carmelita had come to them, a cloth over shoulder. She threw it at their feet.

                “Bowl’s in there.”

                “This is… wild.” Isadora spoke simply, “What do you think is _in_ it?”

                “We can figure that out later.” Brandon spoke, “For now, we need to find Violet.”

                Sunny looked like she was going to start wailing. Vernal flicked their tongue on her cheek, looking just as worried.

                “We need to think of _something._ She’s stuck with HIM. Who knows what he’s going to do to her? What he…” Klaus rambled, terrified, wringing his hands, pacing.

                “Klaus.” Isadora said. Quigley looked up at him.

                “I-I can’t bear to think of it. Oh, _God,_ we fucked up _so BAD-_ ”

                “Klaus?” Duncan attempted, “Hon-”

                Klaus continued to ramble incessantly, pacing, wringing his hands-

                “ **KLAUS.** ” Quigley’s voice came. Brandon looked from Klaus to him.

                The boy had uncurled himself from his fetal position.

                Klaus stopped and looked toward Quigley.

                His face looked cold. Determined.

                Angry.

                He drew one of his knives. Pointed it toward Klaus.

                The spectacled boy swallowed.

                “We’re going to get her back.” He said darkly.

                “...H-how..?” Klaus’s voice wavered. Carmelita stared at him.

                “We’re going to _take_ her _back_ because she’s _mine_ and I LOVE HER, AND I’LL **SLAUGHTER ANYONE IN MY WAY JUST TO PROTECT HER** . **”** Quigley’s voice raised into a roar, causing Isadora to step slightly backwards, pulling her face mask back up.

                Duncan raised his eyebrows in surprise. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again, at a loss for words. Carmelita gave a dubious grin.

                “...Lead the way.” Klaus spoke softly.

                Quigley pulled another blade from his person, and stalked off to the entrance of the finished portion of the hospital. The others exchanged some looks before following behind him. Brandon picked up the cloth again,

                “We need some sort of plan.” He called.

                “We decimate them.” Quigley responded, not slowing down.

                Duncan looked from the cloth to Quigley, “W-we could have a trade! Esmé really wants that sugar bowl, right?” He quickly stammered.

                Quigley halted.

                “...Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Klaus paused as well, looking toward Quigley, then turning to Duncan.

                “We tear the cloth, wrap both the film and the bowl, tie them shut. Brandon, you keep the bowl. I’ll take the film. We trick her.” Duncan explained, “If she asks if it’s really there, Brandon shakes the bowl. She’s a dumb blonde, it’ll be simple.”

                “Duncan I don’t think she’s _that_ dumb.” Quigley said, “She scared the shit out of us, but quite frankly I’m fucking _sick_ and _tired_ of being  _scared_ , let’s get the fuck out of here and find my girl. I’m going to get her back. She’s _MINE and not that DISGUSTING BASTARD’S-”_ He began to shout again.

                “D-dude.” Duncan said, holding a worried hand out.

                Quigley shook his head quickly, “Let’s just go.”

                Klaus swallowed. Brandon was currently tearing the cloth in half, following Duncan’s idea.

                He eventually handed the bundle containing the film to Klaus, who took it reluctantly.

                Brandon tied his bundle to the belt loop of his pants.

                “It’ll be hard to pull off, but we’ll do it, I’m sure.” Duncan said. Isadora sighed.

                “I found a metal bat in one of the storage rooms.” Brandon said, “I don’t know why it was there - I don’t really give a shit, honestly - but I know how to use it.”

                Carmelita beamed, “Isn’t my cousin the bestest?”

                Klaus coughed, clearing his throat nervously.

                “The more the merrier.” Isadora stated.

* * *

 

                Violet’s head was swimming with all sorts of thoughts. Some worse than others. She was fucking terrified, to say the least. Horrified. Sickened.

                The bald man had been staring at her.

                She sniffed, trying to avoid his gaze.

                Every minute that passed felt like a century. How long had it been? Too long. She heard some shouting outside the door.

                Her life was over. It was all _over._ All they’d worked for. They trained for.

                All gone.

                Just like that.

                And she was all alone.

                What did she have to show for it?

                Some scars, a few bruises, and a mountain of trauma.

 _What is_ **_wrong_ ** _with you?_

                She blinked.

 _You’re Violet_ **_fucking_ ** _Malina Baudelaire._

                She clenched her jaw in anger, glancing at the bald man from the corner of her eye.

 _Are you_ **_really_ ** _going to let some shitty_ **_perverts_ ** _try something? You’re stronger than them. You have power they only_ **_dream_ ** _of having. You’re a fucking force to be_ **_reckoned_ ** _with._

                She pulled harshly at the belts on her arms behind her, moving her mouth, trying to loosen her binds.

 _You don’t need weapons right now. You’re fast. It’s only him. You’re a dynamite_ **_bitch_ ** _._

                The bald headed man looked down at her, smirking,

                “Struggle all you want, little girl. The boss made sure that you won’t be able to escape.”

                She growled at him, her lips now curled around the medical tape, her arms still yanking at the belts.

                The bald headed man rolled his eyes,

                “Honestly, brat, knock it off.”

                There was a loud crash outside. The bald man whirled around to the door.

                There was silence.

                He stared at the door. Violet sat completely still, looking between he and the door.

                “B-boss?”

**_BANG_ **

                The door slammed open, and there stood Quigley and Carmelita, together, lowering their shoes.

                “You didn’t have to _kick_ the door down, guys-” Brandon said.

                Before he could say anything else, the two rushed towards the bald man, who screamed in fright.

                Quigley’s face was blank, but his eyes were filled with pure fury. Carmelita cackled loudly as she raised her bat, slamming it into his kneecaps, shattering them in a matter of seconds.

                The bald man screeched in agony before falling forwards, face down on the floor.

                Quigley stabbed both of his daggers into the man’s head, digging them into his skull, and he screamed out in agony.

                Isadora and Duncan quickly entered the room, weaving past the other two, over to a very shocked Violet.

                “Are you ok? Oh my God, Violet, _please_ tell me you’re- he-?” Duncan stammered quickly and he pulled off the medical tape.

                “I’m fine, _holy fucking shit?_ I’m ok, he didn’t do anything to me, I swear it. He just said gross things to me? _Fuck._ ” She swore, breathing fast. Isadora loosened the belts on her arms, and the eldest Baudelaire shook them off.

                She watched as Quigley stabbed over and over again at the bald man, blood splattering everywhere.

                “Shit.” Duncan whispered. He’d… never seen his brother this... upset before.

                Or this.. protective.

                Carmelita was laughing at the sight. Brandon merely… stared.

                Violet rubbed at her arms before sliding over to Quigley, trying to grab at him,

                “Quigley-”

_Shnk_

                “Quig, _listen_ to me, I’m _ok-”_

_Shlk, shk, shk shklk_

                “ **_BABY._ **”

                She quickly wrapped her arms around him, and he stopped suddenly.

                They stayed like this for a few moments, the others looking on. Carmelita slowly stopped laughing, breathing heavily.

                “ _Nobody else_ is allowed to touch you. Nobody who’s as _vile_ and as _disgusting_ as _they_ are.” Quigley spoke softly, looking at her from the corner of his eye.

                She nodded into his neck.

                Isadora took in a nervous breath.

                Klaus stood in the doorway, mouth agape.

                “I’m ok, baby. I promise.” She said, her voice muffled against him.

                He dropped his weapons before turning around to her, pulling her into a tight hug.

                Duncan got up and ran over to Klaus, holding onto him as well.

                “He’ll rue the fucking day he grabbed you like that.” Quigley said, grabbing her head and looking straight into her eyes. They burned into his like fire.

                “Promise me something.” Violet said softly.

                He nodded, pressing his forehead to hers.

                “Don’t ever leave me.”

                Quigley gazed at her lovingly.

                He captured her lips in his. The two melted into the kiss.

                Carmelita’s face fell into disgust, “ _Awwwwugghhh_ come _ON-”_

                Brandon raised his eyebrows before looking away awkwardly. Sunny started to gag dramatically.

                “This is weird. This is weird, right? This is definitely we-” Duncan said, looking around at the others, pointing at the kissing couple.

                “Our lives are already weird enough so this might as well just fucking happen.” Isadora said blandly from behind her mask, her face bored.

                “I mean, it’s nice and all-” Duncan said as the two finally broke, and Violet began to giggle.

                “DREADFUL!” Sunny exclaimed, covering her face in pure disgust. Vernal squinted at Quigley.

                “...It’s weird.” Klaus said, “And I don’t suppose you guys wanted your first kiss to be by a corpse and all… covered in blood.” He sucked in his breath as Quigley looked at him,

                “Seems fitting to our relationship.” The feral boy then cackled. Violet hugged his neck.

                Klaus glanced at Duncan, who was still clinging to him,

                “Hey, hon?”

                “...What.”

                “Don’t let our-”

                “Say no more.”

                Carmelita snorted before doubling over and laughing. Isadora stood up in a huff, walking past the two, smacking Quigley on the back of the head.

                “We uh, need to move.” Brandon said, slowly looking back.

                “Then let’s move.” Violet grinned darkly, “We need to pay a motherfucker a _visit._ ”

                “Guess we don’t need the plan, then.” Duncan said.

                “I suppose not.” Brandon noted.

                “...What plan?” Violet asked. Sunny pointed to the bundle on Brandon’s belt loop.

                “We found the sugar bowl.” Carmelita said, delighted.

* * *

 

                “YOU FOUND THE FUCKING SUGAR BOWL!?” Violet howled in excitement.

                Carmelita nodded wildly, “YOU BETCHA, BITCH!”

                “Originally, we were going to use a bait ‘n’ switch to get you back as a trade.” Duncan explained. Klaus nodded,

                “It was his idea.”

                Violet smirked, “Smart little shit, though Esmé would’ve seen right through it.”

                Quigley raised his eyebrows at him in a “Told you so!” sort of way.

                Duncan made an annoyed noise at his brother, releasing from his hug on Klaus to cross his arms.

                “Anyways,” Violet continued, “We need to get the hell out of here. We need to find the Dipshit Duo and tear their throats out.”

                Isadora nodded.

                During all this, Brandon was carefully glancing into the hallway, listening.

                Something didn’t smell right.

                “...I’m sorry to break this up, but, is something… _burning?”_ The bearded man asked.

                The teens stared at him. Sunny’s eyes lit up in fright.

                “He couldn’t have set the fucking hospital on fire.” Klaus nearly shouted, “There are patients here - what the _shit?”_

                “You forget who we’re dealing with, little brother.” Violet spat.

                “...Right.” He gulped.

                “We need to leave. Now. You have what you came for - damnit I hope the others are ok?” Brandon wondered.

                “What those _cakesniffers_ who blindly follow you and sing those weird songs?” Carmelita noted. Sunny nodded, a weirded out look on her face.

                “...Good point. I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

                Carmelita’s eyes lit up as everyone began to move out of the room, and alarms started to blare.

                “Does this mean you’re coming with us!?”

                Brandon looked frantically around at the now sudden chaos, then back to his young cousin,

                “Yes.”

                Carmelita squealed in delight as he grabbed her arm, rushing out of the room.

* * *

 

                The intercom screeched to life, crackling horribly,

                “Hello staff and patients of Heimlich Hospital - this will be the _very last_ broadcast of your dear little care unit… the hospital is currently experiencing a quickly spreading fire started by the murderous orphans. Good luck.” Olaf’s voice came over the loudspeakers as the cru ran through the halls, weaving through the various patients and staff, scrambling to collect things and move to the exits.

                There was a loud explosion from one direction, and a bright torrent of flame burst from behind some doors.

                “Damn, shit.” Quigley swore, staring at the flames as they turned a corner, nearly sliding into the wall.

                “We didn’t start this fire!” Duncan breathed, “ _Olaf_ did!”

                Isadora rolled her eyes.

                “ _We_ know that,” Klaus huffed, “But THEY don’t!”

                They quickly dashed down various hallways, Brandon leading the way. Thankfully, he knew the hospital like the back of his hand.

                “Makin’ our way downtown, runnin’ fast,” Carmelita joked between breaths.

                “ _Are those the murderous orphans!?”_ Someone shouted.

                “Runnin’ fASTER.” Duncan shouted.

                They picked up the pace, dashing into the hospital’s lobby, where a crowd of people had gathered, rushing about, many running through the exit doors.

                “GRAB HANDS, DON’T LOSE EACH OTHER. WE’LL GET TO THE VAN.” Brandon yelled.

                “WHAT ABOUT JACQUELYN AND OLIVIA?” Duncan shouted back.

                “I HAVE A FEELING THEY’RE ALRIGHT.” Violet called over the noise as they all latched hands, then flowing with the crowd.

                There was a tense moment as they went with the crowd, squeezing each other’s hands tightly, various shouts at them called.

                Eventually,

                They came out on the other side,

                And they kept running.

                As the van came into view, they saw two figures.

                One sat on top of the van with one leg crossed over the other, and another was sitting on the motorcycle.

                “JACQUELYN, OLIVIA!” Klaus screamed.

                Jacquelyn hopped down from the top of the van, “Pleasantries, everyone. I knew you’d be alright.”

                Olivia scoffed.

                Jacquelyn cleared her throat as they all stopped before her,

                “Pile in. We’re going to Caligari Carnival.”

                They didn’t waste any time.

                Their questions would have to wait.

                As the kids piled into the van, Brandon got into the driver’s seat.

                Jacquelyn slid into the cab, it still attached to the van.

                Engines started as they then quickly pulled away from the fiery hospital, a group of people running over to them, only to be left in the dust.

                Brandon looked at the rear-view mirror, seeing the bright light of the flames.

                Carmelita placed a hand on his shoulder. She wasn’t looking at him, but he knew.

                He knew this was the right thing to do.


	23. The Cataclysmic Carnival [1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cru's next steps will be hauntingly interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in time for Halloween season !
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                The cru had seen Olivia speed ahead on her motorcycle as they quickly rode down the dusty road toward a particularly mysterious fairground.

                The sun was rising now, and Brandon had stayed up the remainder of the night driving, not stopping, not wavering.

                Carmelita had fallen asleep in the passenger seat. Sunny slept in Isadora’s lap with Vernal, Mischief, and Mayhem snuggled around them.

                Duncan and Klaus had curled up on the floor together, and Violet and Quigley snuggled up on the backmost seat of the van.

                Violet blinked the sleep out of her eyes as the sun’s rays slipped through the blinds on the van’s windows.

                Last night felt like a horrible, horrible blur to her.

                Esmé. Olaf grabbing her. The deafening silence of her captivity. Being rendered defenseless and - _fuck, my pistols. My knives. I don’t have them any more_ \- and the way Quigley had reacted…

                She hoped for a moment that their sanity wouldn’t completely slip away from them after this was all said and done.

                With that thought, she looked up at him, her hands still balled up into fists against his chest.

                Her sleeping beauty.

                She smiled.

                He looked calm, cradling her. She snuggled her head into his neck, and he began to stir.

                “...Is it morning?” Quigley asked groggily.

                “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you-” She started, looking at him. His eyes were exhausted.

                “Nah, you’re good, babe.” He smiled.

                “...At least nobody is awake to be grossed out by us.” Violet giggled quietly. Quigley snickered,

                “They’ll have to learn to live with it, eventually.”

                She grinned.

                There was some happy silence before it started to fade,

                And the thought that came to her originally returned to her,

                “Quigley.”

                “Yeah, babe?”

                “...Are you… alright?”

                The boy simply stared at her,

                “...Mostly?”

                “...’ _Mostly’?_ ”

                “I don’t know what else to tell you.”

                Violet blinked at him, and sighed deeply,

                “I guess we’re all just going to be ‘mostly’ fine for now, huh?”

                Quigley could only nod, a worried smile on his face.

                “...Hopefully Jacquelyn is awake.” Violet changed the subject, uncurling from their cozy state (To which Quigley made an objecting noise.), and grabbing the walkie-talkie from her pocket.

                “Wh-? I’m guessing they weren’t smart enough to check your pockets?” Quigley squinted.

                “If my hands weren’t tied I would have called on it. I’m just as surprised as you are.” Violet replied, switching on the device,

                “Spy.”

                There was some silence on the other line before it crackled,

                “Violent Violet. ‘Morning.” A groggy voice came.

                “Did I wake you?”

                “Yes, but it doesn’t matter much. I’m assuming we’re almost there.”

                “Do you think he’ll find us again?”

                “Chances are, yes. It will be obvious to him, but he’s been easy enough to trick thus far.”

                Violet snickered, “Right.”

                Quigley growled.

                Violet glanced at him,

                “I’m guessing we’ll need disguises - my weapons are gone,”

                Jacquelyn cut her off,

                “Everything we need will be at the carnival grounds, and I’ve devised a plan. Only you, Olivia, Quigley, and the new recruits will be dealing with Olaf and the others.”

                Violet raised an eyebrow, “What about the rest of us?”

                “They’ll do some work behind the scenes. I’ll explain everything once we get there.” Jacquelyn replied.

                “Roger.” Violet said simply before cutting the communication.

                “We’re going to be a bunch of clowns?” Quigley hissed, “I want to fucking _kill_ this _son of a BITCH,_ not fuck around.”

                “I do, too, baby, but… as long as he has the Kitsune, he’s untouchable. He’ll keep hiding behind them. He’ll keep getting more every time we cut more down.” Violet rambled impatiently.

                Quigley rolled his eyes, “And that’s the shit I hate.”

                She stayed silent.

                The others had begun to stir as their conversation grew louder, and the curtain separating the driver and passenger’s seats was pushed aside,

                “Goooood morning, cru~! Another wonderful day of-” Carmelita sang loudly to a groggy group,

                “Running, murder, more running, being pissed…” Klaus groaned, rubbing his eyes.

                Carmelita stuck out her tongue. Brandon blinked the grogginess from his eyes,

                “We’re almost to our destination, brothers and sisters.” He yawned, “And once we get there… I’m going to need a very… _very_ long… nap.”

                Carmelita looked at him in worry, “Are you gonna be ok, Bran?”

                “I’ll be fine. I’ve done this plenty of times before, cuz.”

                “Well, hopefully we’ll have a moment of reprieve before the storm returns.” Isadora lowered her mask, Sunny slipping out of her lap and walking over to Violet.

                “More of a hurricane than a storm.” Duncan said tiredly.

                Klaus shuddered.

                “Carnaval?” Sunny asked, placing her hands on Violet’s knee.

                “Yep, we’re heading to Caligari Carnival. I hope it’s not too busy…” Violet replied.

                “It’s in the middle of nowhere, I’m sure we’ll be fine.” Quigley snorted,

                “Also, Jacky said something about new recruits?”

                “I have no idea. I’m sure we’ll meet them once we get there. If they know Jacquelyn, or at least know _of_ her, they might be alright.” Violet replied, though skeptical.

                Quigley gave her a suspicious look.

                “Look, I’m as sus as you are, babe.” She scoffed.

                “I’m sure it’ll all work out.” Duncan said to them anxiously, fiddling with his hands. Klaus grabbed onto them.

                “Vraiment méfiant.” Sunny announced, crossing her little arms.

* * *

 

                Olivia rode into the carnival grounds and stopped beside one of the larger show tents. As she was getting off, a door to a caravan swung open,

                “Madame Lulu? Are you back?” A female voice came.

                Olivia set her helmet down,

                “Madame Lulu was a codename. Kit Snicket is at Prufrock, now. I’m Olivia Caliban.”

                “...A codename..?”

                “Yes. From an organization so corrupt they’ve fallen into a schism, and now a group of children are chasing after a certain pedophile _from_ this organization, trying to put an end to his tyranny.” Olivia replied, walking quickly over to the caravan.

                A woman with red hair, filled with roses, stepped down the caravan’s steps,

                “Are you part of that organization?” She asked, confused and scared.

                “No. I’m part of… a new group. The same one those children are from. Kit is… _was_? Part of that organization as well.” Olivia answered, “I was told there were two others?”

                The woman merely blinked, “Y-yes? They’re inside…”

_This is a lot to take in._

                “We’re going to need your help. The children and my friends are on their way, now.” Olivia said sternly.

                “I heard the word pedophile and now I immediately want to slaughter someone, what’s up?” A tall, strong looking man appeared in the doorway.

                “Kevin, honestly.” A man with a humpback appeared beside him.

                “Don’t ‘ _Kevin, honestly’_ me, dude. You know damn well what I’m about.” Kevin snipped.

                Olivia raised an eyebrow.

                “I apologize for him - I’m Hugo, and that’s Colette. We’ll be happy to assist you if it means getting out of this dump.” Hugo said, gesturing to the woman before him.

                “I’m Kevin, nice to be of your acquaintance, ma’am. Now, who’re we killin’?” Kevin repeated.

                Olivia smiled at the three as they began to bicker amongst each other.

                A familiar van with a taxi attached to the back pulled around to the back of the carnival.

* * *

 

                “Why is it. That every place we go to. Is a _fucking dump?_ ” Klaus whined as they got out of the van. Jacquelyn stepped ahead of them, heading in Olivia’s direction.

                “Well, the shebitch’s place was pretty snazzy.” Violet reminded him.

                Klaus rolled his eyes, “Save for the murderers that showed up. Besides us.”

                “One of these days we’ll end up at a nicer place. Probably.” Duncan shrugged.

                “Don’t get your hopes up - and more than that - don’t get _my_ hopes up.” Quigley complained. Carmelita slid out of her seat and onto the dusty ground,

                “I wanted to dress up, too! Why can’t _I_ be in on the plan?”

                “You are, just in a different way.” Violet said, walking over to her.

                “But _I’m_ the _cutest girl in the whole wide WORLD_ and I shouldn’t be shoved backstage!” Carmelita wailed pathetically.

                Brandon patted her head as he passed her. The girl huffed and crossed her arms.

                “...Carmelita, I know how you get when you’re around Bastard Man. I’d rather you not be around him.” Violet cupped the girls face gently, “You don’t feel safe, and I don’t want you around him.”

                Carmelita felt a lump form in her throat. She stared at Violet’s face for a moment.

                “...I’m not scared of him.”

                Violet only smiled,

                “We’ll take care of him. One thing at a time.”

                The short red-head looked down silently.

                Olivia jogged over to them,

                “Oh, good! You’re all here!” The librarian breathed. Jacquelyn had exited the cab and was currently stretching,

                “Yes, and that was possibly the most uncomfortable sleep I’ve had in a while - well, save for the time I-”

                “Hugo, Colette, and Kevin are ready to aid us. The costume and weapon trunks are in the storage caravan. Larry also brought other supplies as well - let’s eat something, first.” Olivia informed them.

                Jacquelyn’s face looked tired. Not that her story was any more interesting than the current one, but it _was_ quite exciting, _she_ thought.

                The cru gathered around the main caravan as Kevin was setting up a table and seats,

                “You guys must be the group, right? Welcome to Caligari Carnival, though I definitely don’t want us to stay here long - it’s boring. And nobody ever comes here.” The man explained.

                Brandon was busy staring at Kevin, not knowing where to settle his hands (Crossed? Behind his back? What?). Kevin seemed to notice this and winked at him.

                Hugo came down the steps,

                “ _Unless_ they come to laugh at us - we’re _freaks,_ you see.” He pointed at his hump back.

                “I don’t see anything ‘freakish’ about you guys.” Violet said, plopping down in a chair and crossing one leg over another.

                “You sure? You ever seen someone have two equally strong hands?” Kevin said, holding up two cooking knives in his hands.

                Brandon sputtered, then cleared his throat. Carmelita looked at him knowingly.

                “...That’s just being ambidextrous.” Klaus commented.

                Kevin scoffed, “Exactly. Go ahead and _laugh_ it up.”

                “...Why would I? Being ambidextrous is an uncommon trait, and an amazing one at that.” Klaus continued, sitting beside Violet. Sunny walked up to Kevin,

                “Talented!” She said simply.

                Kevin looked down at Sunny, his face softening,

                “...Nobody has ever spoken to me this way.”

                Quigley leaned on the back of Violet’s chair, resting his head on hers,

                “Well, prepare to be showered with validity, because bitch, you are valid.”

                Kevin and Hugo looked at him. Colette hopped down the steps and made her way over to the other men,

                “Well, I’m sure you’d think it’s pretty gross that I can turn my arms like _this-_ ” She said, beginning to contort her limbs in an odd fashion. Kevin and Hugo quickly looked away from her.

                “Holy shit, you can do that?” Duncan called, seated right next to Klaus. Isadora lowered her mask in excitement,

                “Contortionists are quite cool. Any who think otherwise are quite the fool.”

                Colette looked touched.

                “You guys are being _way_ too nice - are you just going to use us to get what you want and then drop us like flies?” Hugo asked suspiciously.

                Violet looked at them,

                “I know trust and respect are earned, not given. All I can give you right now is my word,” She held her hand out,

                “And my word is that we don’t leave friends behind.”

                The three adults looked at the cru and smiled. Kevin looked perplexed,

                “But… why?”

                Duncan smiled,

                “Because. That’s what friends are for.”

                Colette walked up to Violet and gently placed her hand in hers,

                “ _Thank you._ ”

* * *

 

                Sunny and Kevin went into the caravan to cook some food as the others chatted loudly. The Quagmires and Carmelita were doing comedic bits while Klaus filled in Hugo and Colette about the situation. Olivia and Jacquelyn went to open the supply trunks in the storage caravan, and Brandon returned to the van to rest.

                Violet observed the soft chaos going on around her and smiled.

                They may have lost their parents, but they didn’t lose their family.

                And their family had grown.

_All problems have their place._

                Kevin walked out with a large pot,

                “Sunny is _really_ good at cooking - did you guys know that? Like, she’s only a toddler, but she rivals even _me,_ which is saying something.”

                He set the pot down on the table in the middle of the cru, Sunny coming down with some bowls.

                “We all have our own special little talents, so I wouldn’t be surprised.” Duncan laughed. Sunny smiled up at him, then turning back to the caravan to get more tableware.

                “I don’t think I’ve ever… thought about _killing_ someone before,” Hugo swallowed, “But this man sounds…”

                “Despicable.” Klaus offered.

                “ _DisGUSTing._ ” Carmelita spat.

                “Absolutely fucking abhorred?” Quigley and Violet said together.

                Hugo nodded, “Yes. That.”

                Colette shrugged, “Sounds fun. I’ve always wanted to _strangle_ a man with my aerial silks!” She said, making a strangling motion with her fists.

                Violet smiled darkly,

                “You’ll get that chance.”

                “Y’know,” Kevin said, setting out the bowls, “Hugo has a pretty good shot, doncha bud?”

                Hugo sputtered, embarrassed, “I, well, _no,_ that’s just-”

                “He’s right, Hugo.” Colette nodded, “The last Madame Lulu always let you show off your target shooting, which _always_ amazed the seven people that came to see us.”

                “More or less.” Hugo noted, “Usually we just had one or two people-”

                “‘Doesn’t matter how many people there were,” Kevin interrupted him, “What matters is you could probably take out a motherfucker from yards away which an eye like that.”

                Violet’s eyes glittered,

                “So you’re a sharpshooter?”

                Hugo snorted, “Well, I wouldn’t say _that,”_

                “He is.” Colette smiled.

                “Definitely is - soup’s on, by the way.” Kevin noted, “I’ll try to save a bowl for Bran - not that I like him or anything, just, he needs to eat-” The man stuttered quickly.

                “We get the message, Kev.” Colette grinned.

                Violet smiled as the others began to fill their bowls.


	24. The Cataclysmic Carnival [2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cru welcomes its newest members, along with unveiling some spooky disguises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You hear that?  
> That's the distant sound of GAY!  
> oh, and some thunder, too.  
> you'll figure that out l8r ig
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                Carmelita skipped around the supply trunks as Olivia lead the newest members to them.

                “I got a cool new outfit when I joined the group, so you guys get one, too!” The little red head said happily, “Even you, Bran!”

                Brandon smiled, “Aw, golly, you guys don’t have to do this for us!”

                “I haven’t had a decent change of clothes in _years._ ” Hugo said, “I don’t think we could  _ever_ thank you enough.”

                “No need to thank us.” Jacquelyn said, opening the trunks, “You’re part of the family, now. You deserve better.”

_You deserve better._

_The last Madame Lulu - Kit Snicket? - said that to them many times._

                “...Th-thank you.” Colette said, looking into the chests.

                “Grab whatever suits you, but you three, don’t change just yet. You’ll need to choose your costumes for our plan.” Olivia said.

                “We get to be part of a  _plan_ on our  _first day?_ Oh! Kevin, Colette, did you  _hear that?_ Our very first  _MISSION!_ ” Hugo exclaimed happily. Colette was already digging through the trunks, and Kevin raised his eyebrows,

                “We get to help you guys right off the bat?” He asked, surprised.

                “Of course. Everyone on this team has value, even the littlest of toddlers and the shortest of-” Jacquelyn said, before being cut off by Carmelita,

                “thE SHORTEST OF  _CUTEST_  GIRLS!” She proclaimed loudly, skidding to a stop next to Brandon and throwing her arms out in a flashy way. Brandon smiled down at her.

                “...Yes, of course.” Jacquelyn said, feeling like a tired mother.

                The new members dug through the trunks. Brandon then left for the van to change, and Olivia lead Hugo, Colette, and Kevin into the Madame Lulu tent.

                “Jacquelyn went to fetch Violet and Quigley; They’ll be helping us.” Olivia said, “I need to go and change into my disguise. Make yourselves comfortable!” She then disappeared behind a beaded curtain.

                Kevin shrugged and threw himself into one of the couches. Hugo rolled his eyes and sat in an armchair, Colette going to sit on the couch with Kevin.

                “Alright, gamers, what’s the haps with the craps on the slaps?” Quigley said as he and Violet entered the tent.

                Colette giggled.

                Kevin’s face brightened, “Quigley, my dude! And Violet, my precious new daughter.”

                Quigley threw some finger guns at the man while Violet snorted.

                “No, really, you’re my daughter, now. I’ll protect you with my life.” Kevin said sternly.

                “You and every other adult in this group, bud.” The feral teen giggled.

                “Where’s Olivia?” Quigley asked, looking around the room.

                “Oh, she went to disguise herself or whatever.” Colette shrugged.

                Violet looked at the beaded curtain, “She said  _we’ll_ need some disguises as well for this plan. Whatever it is.”

                “I, for one, can’t wait to hear what this plan is, and what stupidass disguise I’m gonna need for it.” Quigley said, rolling his eyes.

                Olivia then came out, adjusting a pair of dragon horns on her head,

                “I’m sure you’ll love the disguises  _and_ the plan, actually.”

                Quigley’s face dropped into shock as he stared at Olivia’s new ensemble.

                

                “Holy  _shit?_ Do we get cool outfits like that, too?” Violet gasped, clasping her hands together, elated.

                Hugo, Colette, and Kevin each gaped at her.

                Olivia smiled, “Why, as a matter of fact, yes! You do.”

                She then put her hands on her hips,

                “Here’s the deal. We’ll be playing a group of mysterious magicians. I am the great Madame Lulu, the Dragon Mistress of Mystery. Violet, you will be playing my daughter, the Wondrous Mage Wysteria. Quigley, you will be Wysteria’s loyal right hand, Cedric, the Feral Wolf Boy.”

                Violet grinned wildly.

                Quigley stood at attention, “OH, now  _THIS_ is  _ **EPIC.** ”_

                Olivia then looked at the carnival adults,

                “Hugo, you will be the Great Beast Tamer, Fowl. Colette, you will be Celeste, Whisperer to Winds. Finally, Kevin, you will be Master of Blades, Ayan.”

                Kevin’s eyes lit up, “Does that mean I get cool swords?”

                “From here on out, yes.”

                Kevin threw both of his equally strong arms into the air and gave a triumphant look to his friends.

                “A  _beast tamer_? Well, I don’t know if I’m cut out for that job-” Hugo said, unsure.

                “Not a literal one, you needn’t worry.” Olivia said, “We’ll be using Violet’s cobra, Vernal, and Isadora’s crows. Also, apparently there were some starving lions? Klaus is trying to take care of them - he’ll be fine, I’m sure.”

                Violet snorted.

                “What does a whisperer do?” Colette asked, “Is it fun?”

                “Magical things. Spooky things. Basically, we’re going to scare the living  _shit_ out of Olaf.” Olivia explained.

                Violet’s face then slowly grew into a wicked grin.

                “Tell me more,  _Dragon Mistress of Mystery_.”

* * *

 

                “So we’re going to be doing special effects with all this shit?” Duncan asked Jacquelyn, looking at all the odd equipment.

                The kids met in the main tent so Jacquelyn could explain the plan to them as the others changed. Klaus had finished feeding the lions, who then suddenly turned into giant, purring kittens to him.

                “Yes. I’m sure it won’t be a problem at all with your talents.” Jacquelyn replied, looking at the cru with a sneaky smile.

                Isadora nodded gleefully, Mischief and Mayhem cawing in agreement.

                “Your large murder of crows will come in handy, Isadora, and Violet’s cobra will definitely help.” Jacquelyn noted.

                “Vernal!” Sunny squeaked happily.

                “We’ll need to do some work on the place, however, make it look more mysterious, rather than…” Jacquelyn wondered out loud.

                “Clowny?” Carmelita offered.

                “...More or less.” Jacquelyn replied.

                They heard some shuffling and turned around - 

                “Bran!!! You look GREAT!!” Carmelita shouted happily while running over to him.

                

                He laughed, “It’s quite comfortable, too!”

                The others smiled at him as Jacquelyn looked at the back of the room with a finger on her chin.

                “We could build a small stage back there, still keeping the center stage here…” The auburn haired woman plotted, walking around somewhat aimlessly.

                “Violet could help! She’s a genius when it comes to this kind’ve shit.” Klaus recommended happily.

                Jacquelyn smiled, “Excellent idea, Klaus.”

                “Someone call for a genius?” His sister’s voice suddenly came from just outside.

                They all whipped around again, seeing Olivia enter,

                “Ladies, gentlemen, and all other esteemed beings, I am Madame Lulu, the Dragon Mistress of Mystery!” She spoke in a soft british accent.

                The woman gave a deep, elegant bow as the others clapped wildly. Jacquelyn gawked at the woman’s appearance, her face a deep red.

                Olivia stood up, “I would like to humbly introduce you to my mystical and mysterious family,  _The Magician’s Court!_ ”

                She then stepped ahead and made a presenting motion with her hands toward the entrance of the large tent,

                “A fae from deep within the forests of the Ire, Celeste, Whisperer to Winds!”

                Colette waltzed in gently, her silks and butterfly wing skirt flowing beautifully around her.

                

                “An elf hailing from the tallest of mountains in Eastern Asia, Ayan, the Master of Blades!”

                Kevin burst through the entrance, brandishing his two blades with extreme excitement.

                

                Brandon instantly froze, feeling his face grow hot.

                Carmelita snorted at him.

                “Finally, a man who has traveled the endless lands of the Earth for centuries, Fowl, the Great Beast Tamer!”

                Hugo strode confidently in with Vernal around his neck, holding a crow perched on each hand.

                

                The cru applauded furiously, cheering. 

                “Olivia, those disguises are fucking  _SICK!”_ Klaus shouted. Isadora gave Hugo a thumbs up, her eyes sparkling.

                Olivia giggled,

                “And now, last but certainly not least, my daughter and her faithful right hand- “

                Quigley ran through the closed flaps of the tent, growling and showing off his claws and sharp teeth. Violet followed, gracefully entering, a tall staff in her hand.

                “- The Wondrous Mage Wysteria, and Cedric the Feral Wolf Boy!”

                 

                Duncan and Klaus burst out laughing at Quigley, while Isadora and Carmelita looked in awe at Violet’s costume.

                “Olivia… darling y-you, well,” Jacquelyn attempted, clearing her throat, “You’ve certainly outdone yourself…”

                Olivia blushed and giggled, “Well, I do try.”

                “LOOK AT MY GORGEOUS GF, YOU LOSERS!” Quigley shouted, hugging onto Violet, who giggled.

                “Aren’t you just my precious lil pubby~.” Violet teased him, patting his head. He snorted, “I’ll bite ya, watch out.” Violet giggled even more, blushing.

                “If we’re all done flirting,” Duncan breathed between his laughter, “We should probably get to work.”

                Brandon had made his way over to Kevin,

                “You look amazing.” He let out. Kevin laughed, flustered, “Th-thanks? I mean, well,”

                “ _THERE’S A LOT OF GAY HAPPENING IN HERE.”_ Carmelita shouted suddenly, her eyes glued to Violet.

                “Save for Vi and Quig. I am going to. Throw. Up.” Klaus responded, twisting his face into disgust.

                Jacquelyn coughed,

                “Right, yes, let’s… let’s get to work.” She said, straightening herself out, as best she could.

                Pun intended.

* * *

 

                “How exactly is scaring the shit out of Olaf going to help us?” Klaus wondered as everyone worked diligently around him.

                “Well,” Olivia said, carrying a bundle of cords, “We’re trying to keep him from the V.F.D. Headquarters in the Mortmain Mountains - if one of your parents really  _did_ survive, then our best bet is that they’ll be there.”

                Klaus’s heart shot up into his throat,

                “Oh, fuck, I almost forgot about that.”

                Carmelita scoffed,

                “How can you forget that one of your parents  _survived the fire they apparently died in?”_

                Violet glanced at her from her hunched over position near the forming stage,

                “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’ve been going through some Real Shit as of late.”

                “Which can be pretty fuckin’ distracting.” Quigley called.

                Carmelita rolled her eyes.

                “Waitguyswhataboutthe  _sugar bowl??”_ Duncan said suddenly, rushing over to Violet, who’s attention snapped to him.

                “It’s in your bag, right, Vi?” The journalist asked her.

                “...Yeah.”

                “We need to see what the fuck is in there.”

                Violet cleared her throat,

                “We can do that later. We need to finish this as quickly as possible.”

                Duncan gave her an exasperated look as she turned back to her work.

                “Doncha wanna know what’s in that ‘ _porcelain-pain-in-my-ass’?”_ Carmelita asked sarcastically.

                Violet stopped for a moment, as if to think, before continuing.

                “Priorities. It’ll be there.”

                Klaus raised an eyebrow at her,

                “I guess you’re right, but aren’t you the  _least_ bit curious?”

                “Well, yeah.”

                “Then why not take a quick peak?”

                “Because I feel like it’s going to have some sort of huge affect on us.”

                The teens became quiet.

                “It’s just… it’s just best that we finish this up first before we look into it.” Violet croaked.

                Isadora shrugged, and Klaus sighed heavily. Duncan gave Klaus’s shoulder a squeeze before they all continued their work.

                Jacquelyn stood “backstage”, clicking on her walkie talkie, 

                “Waiter.”

                “Spy!”

                “Do you have Bastard Man’s location?”

                There was a sigh on the other end from Larry, “He’s not at the hospital’s ruins, so he could be somewhere on the road, possibly on his way to Caligari, now.”

                Jacquelyn grumbled.

                “Well, as long as we finish preparations on time, the plan should be good to go. If one of the Baudelaire parents really  _is_ still alive, we need to keep that ‘man’ away from the Headquarters at whatever cost.”

                “...Hopefully that cost isn’t a life on our side.” Larry spoke.

                Jacquelyn’s face hardened,

                “We’re not losing anyone else on this team.”

* * *

 

                Klaus and Duncan stood outside the main gate, looking up at the large poster. Violet tapped it with her staff,

                “So, whaddya think?”

                “ _Madame Lulu and the Mysterious Magician’s Court.”_ Klaus read aloud, “Charming.”

                “Definitely.” Violet grinned deviously.

                “Showy.” Duncan commented.

                “Overdramatic.” Isadora said, poking her head from inside the grounds.

                Violet stuck her tongue out at the poet.

                “Oh, Isa, you wouldn’t know showmanship if it  _hit_ you in the  _face!”_ Carmelita skipped over to them, then turning to face the poster, “This is the most  _gorgeous_ poster I’ve ever seen, in  _my_ opinion!”

                “You’re only saying that because you had a big hand in making it.” Klaus rolled his eyes.

                Carmelita cackled, “ _You bet your ass.”_

                “I’d rather not bet my ass. I need that, thank you.” Klaus joked. Duncan snickered.

                Violet went over to them, then lightly whacked her brother on the head with her staff, “No jokes, those are  _my_ thing.”

                Duncan crossed his arms,

                “You can’t have  _all_ the fun, Vi.”

                “Oh, wyrm?”

                “...Hilarious.” Duncan replied dryly.

                Violet grinned before turning and walking back into the carnival grounds.

                “Well, if this doesn’t trick Olaf, then I don’t know what will.” Duncan breathed. Isadora laughed,

                “As said before, he’s easily tricked. I’m  _very_ sure this plan is perfect.”

                Duncan raised his eyebrows,

                “If you’re so sure, Isa.”

                Isadora nodded slowly before going to follow Violet.

                “Where’s puppy boy? I wanna scratch his ears. Did you get him fleas, too?” Carmelita shouted after Violet, who began to laugh loudly.

                “Is my brother a furry? Cast your votes, now.” Duncan snorted. Klaus sputtered and began to laugh hard.

                The two boys laughed as they began to follow the others inside.

* * *

 

                Jacquelyn, Olivia, and Violet sat around the fortune telling table in the back of the Madame Lulu tent, staring down at a certain all-important object.

                The sugar bowl.

                “What do you think is in it?” Olivia asked.

                “Probably something stupid.” The corner of Violet’s mouth twitched.

                “It has to be something vitally important if both sides of the schism want it so badly.” Jacquelyn reminded them, “It can’t just be  _empty,_ that would be ridiculous.”

                “You never know.” Violet shrugged.

                “Should we get the others? Open it up?” Olivia asked quietly.

                “Not yet. We still have preparations to make.” Violet glanced at Jacquelyn. The auburn haired woman nodded,

                “Right. Let’s finish up planning before we… reveal any possibly unnerving truths.”

                Olivia blew part of her bangs out of her face before she and Violet left through the beaded curtain.

                Jacquelyn took the sugar bowl and slid it back into Violet’s bag, then placing it into the secret cabinet, locking it tightly.


	25. The Cataclysmic Carnival [3]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the show begin!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hold on there's a lot of shit going down- hEY WH-
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. ?  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                As the stage was finished and the equipment was set up, the players practiced their acts, and the special effects were tested. Violet was in utter confusion with how the lions reacted to Klaus, but he explained that they were probably just super thankful of him because _he_ was the one that fed them.

                Quigley was busy trying to explain to Duncan that he was _not_ a “furry” and that he just enjoyed being _feral_ and that the disguise was _Olivia’s idea_ so his brother should be looking at _her_ and not _him._

                Violet just enjoyed dragging him along with the chain on his neck, to which he objected loudly to. Carmelita and Isadora proceeded to make several jokes about this to which he then threatened to bite them, “I SWEAR I WILL.”

                Klaus introduced Hugo to the lions, who were very good listeners, and Isadora helped him with her crows as well. After all, a beast tamer needed tamed beasts.

                Violet helped fix up the fog machines and various other tech aspects for the show. Isadora and Carmelita helped Olivia write some dialogue and a number to perform.

                Kevin practiced with his new swords, though the rest of the cru could tell that he definitely knew how to handle them.

                Violet waltzed up to the man who was currently flipping his swords around in his two equally strong hands, “Yo, Kev. Quick Q.”

                “What’s up, little murder baby?”

                “Have you wielded swords before?”

                Kevin caught his swords suddenly, “Oh, yeah, of course! That was back when I was in the B-”

                The man’s face suddenly turned solemn,

                “The… Big Bad Brick Gang…”

                Violet’s eyebrows arched, “Shit, I’m sorry, did I-?”

                Kevin laughed it off, “No! No… No. You’re good”

                Violet placed a soft hand on Kevin’s arm,

                “If you need to talk, I’m here. We all are.”

                Kevin smiled down at her, “Thanks, Vi.”

                “Alriiiiight!” Quigley shouted, “That _should_ be everything, I think?” Sunny toddled up to his side and nodded, “All done!”

                “Nice, ok, so we’ll need to take our places once _he_ gets here. I know Esmé will be harder to trick-” Klaus began.

                Isadora grumbled as Violet began to speak,

                “We’ll make sure to make our performances _thoroughly convincing._ Not to mention we need to keep the fucking sugar bowl hidden. She’ll probably want to snoop.”

                Jacquelyn nodded, “Exactly. We’ll need to find a place to put it. Possibly in plain sight. Right under her nose.”

                “That sounds… dangerous.” Klaus said.

                “Why does she want it so bad?” Colette asked, sitting high on one of her silks.

                Klaus grumbled, “Remember I told you we don’t know exactly why, yet?”

                “Maybe we could get some information out of her.” Kevin shrugged.

                Violet paused for a moment,

                “That’s a fantastic idea, actually.”

                Olivia put a finger on her chin, “You know, I could try to do a little something.”

                “Jacquelyn, you were in V.F.D., do you know why Esmé wants it so badly?” Duncan asked.

                Kevin and Violet stared at her.

                The auburn haired woman sighed,

                “Sadly, I don’t. I came into the organization much later after the schism broke out fully. I was told very little.”

                Kevin sneered,

                “And that’s _exactly_ why V.F.D. is _fucking_ garbage.”

                Jacquelyn nodded toward him.

                “Maybe we can get her to tell us what happened, or, if we’re lucky enough, it’ll slip out.” Colette wondered aloud, hanging upside down.

                “Be sneaky!” Sunny proclaimed, looking up at Colette.

                Isadora sat down on the edge of the stage,

                “A Freudian slip is what we need. One step closer to making him bleed.”

                Violet sighed dreamily, “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

                Isadora’s eyes glimmered, her face pink, “You may have mentioned it once or twice. It would be better if I heard it thrice.”

                “Well, sweetie, I love you.”

                “And I, much more.”

                “Can you guys knock it off.” Klaus furrowed his brows. Duncan placed a quick kiss on the bookworm’s cheek, who then proceeded to blush and cover his face.

                Violet snorted, “Hypocrite.”

                “F-fuck off.” Klaus stuttered, his voice muffled from behind his hands. Duncan giggled.

* * *

 

                “Do _I_ have to have a british accent, _too?”_ Violet groaned at Olivia, who was putting some finishing touches on the Madame Lulu tent.

                “You’re my daughter. It would make sense.”

                “ _How’s this?”_ Violet attempted, which sounded pretty ok.

                Olivia giggled, “Convincing enough. Just keep practicing.”

                “Guess I’ll die.” Violet complained, still attempting the accent.

                “Not too strong, though, sweetheart.”

                “Gotchah.”

                Olivia laughed to herself, watching the girl walk away.

                The sun was now setting, there had been no sign of Olaf and his band of cronies all day. Perhaps he was taking a reprieve, or was waiting for an opportune time to strike. Maybe he gave up? Or, maybe they were heading somewhere else.

                Violet rested her head on Quigley’s lap on the couch in the Madame Lulu tent, Isadora sat with her commonplace book in an armchair, Duncan sat on the floor, leaning against it. Carmelita had lain her bat on the table, picking old pieces of flesh off of it, bored. Sunny had fallen asleep at Violet’s legs.

                Olivia and Jacquelyn were in the crystal ball room, making various hypotheses about various things.

                Klaus walked into the tent,

                “Hey, Quig, do you still have that film?”

                Quigley looked up from messing with Violet’s hair while she giggled,

                “Yeah, ‘s in my bag. Why’d’you need it?”

                “I just need to. See it again.”

                “Klaus,” Violet looked up at him, “I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be the same as it was the first time we saw it.”

                “I just need to double check if we heard it correctly.”

                “Dude,”

                “Where is your bag?”

                “In the van, my man.”

                “I’ll be right back, then.”

                Violet rolled her eyes and laid back down, Quigley grumbling.

                “Just let him do it. ‘Prob just needs to make himself feel better or somethin’.” Carmelita said, flicking a small piece of dried flesh onto the floor.

                “Carm, could you… not do that?” Duncan asked pathetically.

                Carmelita let out a raspberry, spitting.

                He bit his lip in frustration at the red head.

                Klaus walked from the tent to the van, which was hiding behind a pile of carnival junk. The light was on inside, and he snuck a peek through the window. Brandon and Kevin were laughing and talking, Brandon had his guitar out. Klaus felt some embarrassment.

_Maybe I should come back in the morning, or later, or-_

                No, he had to do this _now._ He needed to make sure. One of their parents could be alive. They survived the fire, right? He heard that right? Survived the _Baudelaire_ fire.

                He shook his head, rattling the doubts from his mind, and knocked on the van’s sliding door. There was some shuffling for a second before it slid to the side,

                “Hey, brother! D’you need something?”

                “Ah, well,” Klaus said nervously, “Usually brother is only for those related to another by blood-”

                Brandon laughed, “Well, not always, brother.”

                Klaus smiled slightly, “Well, I need the film from Quigley’s bag - do you mind if I-?”

                “Not at all! Kev and I were just talkin’.” Brandon replied happily.

                “Th-thanks.” The spectacled boy said as he climbed into the van, then looking for Quigley’s bag among the mess of the van.

                “Usually I keep the van cleaner than this, but a lot’s been happening - as you know.” Brandon said to nobody in particular.

                Kevin shrugged, “It’s fine. I like mess, anyhow. Gives a living space personality.” Brandon giggled.

                Quigley’s bag was lying on top of Violet’s satchel, and Klaus opened up the bag and dug through it-

                The Quagmire boy managed to find one of Violet’s pistols.

                Klaus smiled to himself. He don’t know _how_ Quigley did it, nor did he care, but he knew that Violet would certainly be happy to have one of her original purple matte pistols back.

                He dug some more, through knives, snacks, pieces of paper ( _Were all of these love notes? Holy shit._ ), and more knives, until he found the film. Klaus breathed a sigh of relief as he zipped up the bag, bid Brandon and Kevin farewell, and left the van.

                Back in the tent, Olivia was making Carmelita sweep up the flesh bits after Duncan “snitched” on her. Klaus returned, holding up the film canister,

                “Found it.”

                “Congrats.” Violet said sarcastically.

                He glared at his older sister, then turned to Olivia, “Do you have something that can play this?”

                “Of course, that’s how the crystal ball is used.” Olivia said slyly.

                “Epic.” Quigley said. Sunny sat up groggily. Violet looked at her little sister,

                “Oof, sorry sweetheart, did we wake you?”

                “No prob’m.” Sunny yawned, Quigley putting a loving hand on her little head.

                Violet sat up, and Quigley got up, following Klaus and Olivia through the beaded curtains. Violet plucked up Sunny and did the same.

                The room was dim, the crystal ball glowing faintly from the light of the projector under the cloth-covered table. Violet set Sunny down on a chair nearby, Klaus handing Olivia the film canister. Once everything was set up, the film began to play, and Olivia stepped back to Jacquelyn’s side as it did.

                “ _Jacques Snicket, glad to have you back. I know you and some other associates have been researching the case of the Baudelaire and Quagmire children, those who have been trying to hunt down Count Olaf.”_ An unfamiliar voice came from behind the camera.

                Olivia’s eyes looked hurt upon seeing Jacques again. Jacquelyn’s face fell into a soft anger.

                “ _That is correct. But, before I begin the complete description of the events that have transpired so far, I have received some news from a very reliable source.”_ Jacques said.

                “ _A reliable source?”_ The voice asked, confused.

                “ _Yes - I’ve been told there was a survivor of the Baudelaire mansion fire.”_ Jacques said carefully, “ _One of the parents is alive-”_

                Klaus knelt down to stop the film momentarily,

                “This is as far as we got before the shebitch interrupted us.” He said, looking up at the others.

                Quigley blinked at him, “Well, keep going, then.” Violet was squinting in suspicion at the orb.

                Klaus resumed the film.

                “ _-and is apparently heading to the Headquarters.”_ Jacques continued.

                “ _Who is it that told you this?”_

_“Kit, my sister. Kit Snicket. She had met with them, but was told not to specify which one of them it was.”_

_“Why do you think that is?”_

_“To protect their identity, I’m sure. We’ll need to head to the Headquarters in the Mortmain Mountains as soon as possible.”_ Jacques finished.

                The rest of the film was simply Jacques re-telling their trek from Olaf’s to Prufrock. Violet didn’t have any complaints on the facts, but it was bad that V.F.D. knew that they were out to murder Olaf.

                Not that it bothered her much, she just didn’t feel it was the _best_ that they knew this.

                They probably thought it was her fault that Jacques died.

                Hopefully not.

                The film finally ended a few minutes later, Klaus stood up, “Oh, and Quigley managed to find this somehow.” He handed Violet her pistol. The girls eyes glittered happily at the firearm, to which she held closely to her cheek. She then turned to Quigley, grabbed his face, and kissed him, then pulling away to look joyfully at the pistol again. Quigley staggered back slightly, his head buzzing,

                “Y-you’re welcome, babe?”

                “Why didn’t you tell me _sooner,_ baby?” Violet asked gleefully. Sunny was whining in the chair behind them. “W-well,” Quigley stuttered, “We kinda got sidetracked, and, well, y’know.”

                Klaus rolled his eyes,

                “There are some more important things here, guys.”

                Violet’s face fell as she looked up to her brother, then looking at a clearly disgruntled Jacquelyn and a shocked Olivia.

                Jacquelyn went over to the crystal ball and glared into it,

                “So Kit _knew,_ but didn’t think to… _tell_ me.”

                “M-maybe it was after you called her to Prufrock?” Olivia asked.

                “It doesn’t matter _when,”_ Jacquelyn gritted her teeth, “It’s the fact that she didn’t even bother to call me or- Just- _Anything.”_

                “She’s right.” Violet said blankly, “One of our parents survived, and could _still_ be alive, but she didn’t bother to tell us at all.”

                “Maybe- Maybe she didn’t want us to get our hopes up-” Klaus started.

                Sunny crossed her arms in a huff, “Imbécile!” which definitely meant, “ _The bitch should have TOLD us!”_

                Klaus flinched. Quigley glared at the crystal ball,

                “I know he said that she wanted to protect their identity, but she could have at LEAST told you guys that one of them survived.”

                “EXACTLY.” Violet sneered. She then threw her head back and clenched her fists, letting out an irate roar. Sunny growled.

                “I am so TIRED of all the SECRETS and the STUPIDITY of all of this!” Violet said, looking back at the ball, “We’re going straight to the Headquarters after all of this bullshit nonsense is said and done. We need to find our _parent_ , then we need to kill the Dipshit Duo. That should keep the Kitsune from crawling out of the woodwork for Bitchlaf.”

                “Excellent plan.” Jacquelyn agreed. Olivia gave a deep sigh,

                “We need to get some rest. We’ll worry about all of this tomorrow”

                Quigley snorted, “Unless he comes for us in the night.”

                “Stay on your toes, then, pretty boy.” Violet patted his cheek gently.


	26. The Cataclysmic Carnival [4]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan begins to roll as he inevitably arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMASH tthat like buttOn if u want Cedric to BITE Bitchlaf!
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. ?  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                The night passed with little issue, though some had a harder time sleeping than others, for obvious reasons.

                Jacquelyn and Olivia awoke first, waking everyone else up, and they began to prepare for the imminent arrival of “Bastard Man”. Kevin opened the gate entrance to the carnival, greeting the usual two or so tourists of the carnival, though in his new character this time.

                The tourists seemed to be intrigued with the idea of the “ _Mysterious Magician’s Court”,_ so Olivia decided that this was a time for them to do a small practice run of their set, but on a somewhat smaller scale.

                They’d save the more terrifying acts for when _he_ arrived.

                “Alrighty, people!” Hugo said happily, “Let’s give what these people came for - not _freaks,_ but _magic_ and _whimsy_!”

                “ _HELL_ yeah!” Kevin cried happily. Colette’s smile was so wide, one might have thought it would have broken her face.

                Jacquelyn leaned over to Olivia and whispered, “I don’t think they’ve ever been this happy before.”

                Olivia nodded, her heart soft as she looked upon the three.

                “Hey, once we’re done with this, what d’you guys wanna do?” Kevin asked.

                “We could get a farm!” Hugo recommended. 

                Kevin pointed to him, “Epic, what kind of crops would we grow?”

                “We could grow anything!” Hugo replied.

                “It’d be helpful to visualize something specific, though.” The ambidextrous man grumbled.

                Colette perked up, “We could grow… rutabagas.”

                Hugo nodded, “We could grow _literally_ anything! So, sure, rutabagas.”

                Kevin’s face fell, “I don’t _like_ rutabagas.”

                “foRGET about the _rutabagas,_ the POINT is… we can live happily together with our new family one this is all said and done!” Hugo explained, “And they won’t call us cruel names, like _freaks!”_

                “Good point.” Kevin smiled. Colette nodded.

                The farm sibs then continued to get ready for their first performance.

                Klaus and Isadora helped set up Vernal, the crows, and the two lions for Hugo. Olivia and Violet took to the effects machines and stage one more time to double check and look things over. Duncan helped Kevin sharpen and shine his swords (Kevin also taught Duncan how to properly do these things, one blade wielder to another.), and Sunny helped Quigley with his growls and snarls.

                The seats contained only five people, which was perfectly fine by the performers. For the farm sibs, it was the normal turnout. Though Jacquelyn was staring suspiciously into the crowd. Someone seemed familiar to her. Someone in a soft gray suit with a fedora concealing his face.

                Madame Lulu welcomed the “most esteemed guests” as the show started. The special effect machines and lights worked perfectly. The tourists were in awe of Celeste’s amazing aerial silk tricks, and how she could climb about them with amazing flexibility. They gawked in amazed terror at Fowl’s beasts; The slithering laced cobra, the preying murder of crows, and the hulking fanged lions. The small crowd stood on their feet for Ayan’s stupendous sword tricks as he flipped, swung, threw, and sliced. A hooded figure even came to the stage and engaged in a very frightening dual with him.

                Finally, Wysteria and her loyal companion Cedric took to the stage for their special tricks. Heavy amounts of effects, lighting, music, and more were used for her act to make it look as realistic as possible, and thankfully, the small crowd bought it, hook line and sinker.

                The “curtain call” was a final, fun musical number called “ _Dramaturgy”_ done with the entire Court, to which the five people in the seats were on their feet for.

                The show was a success, of course. Olivia didn’t have a doubt in her mind. The five people left the carnival in a flurry of conversation. Surely, this meant a bigger crowd would show.

                Surely, this meant Olaf would be on his way.

                “The faster Mister Bitch gets here, the better,” Violet breathed, checking her makeup in the backstage mirror, “And the sooner we can scare the living _shit_ out of him.”

                Quigley was hopping around in place, “That was FUN AS _FUCK!_ I CAN’T WAIT TO DO THAT AGAIN!” He growled triumphantly. Sunny clapped and babbled happily, running around him.

                “I’m _so_ proud of _all_ of you! You did such a magnificent job!” Olivia said, clasping her hands together. The farm sibs smiled at each other. “We couldn’t have done this without you guys, really!” Hugo said, grinning from ear to ear, “For once, nobody noticed my hump back! They were too focused on the animals!”

                “And your cool outfit.” Colette said, adjusting some silk on her own.

                “Y-yes, that too, of course.” Hugo chuckled.

                “I think mistew Owaf wuwd _wuv_ my swowd twicks.” Kevin said, sheathing his swords.

                Violet giggled, “The bettew to muwdew wif.”

                “The bwoodiew the bettew.” Quigley said sweetly.

                “Why the _fuck_ are you guys speaking that way.” Klaus piped up, confused as all hell.

                “Down’t wowwy about it.” Carmelita uwu’d.

                Klaus squinted at her,

                “What the shit, actually.”

                Jacquelyn walked in, “The tourists are gone, we can expect a large crowd, and hopefully, Olaf, the next time we have a show in two days time. If he gets here early, we’ve planned for that. In fact, for _any_ outcome, we’ve planned for it.”

                Violet smiled deviously.

                “Jack-aayyyy, ever-the-prepared for every-the-thing.” Quigley complimented.

                Klaus rubbed his temples, “You people drive me fucking nuts.”

                Jacquelyn made a disgruntled noise, agreeing with Klaus. Olivia giggled joyfully.

* * *

 

                The Baudelaires, the Quagmires, and Carmelita sat in the van that evening, generally clowning around. There was a lull in their comedic antics when Violet spoke up,

                “I swear, when I meet Kit, the first thing I’m going to do is _slap_ her.”

                Klaus blinked.

                “W-why?” Duncan asked.

                Violet rolled her eyes, “ _Because,_ she wouldn’t tell us that one of our parents is still alive?” She pointed her thumb between herself and her siblings. Sunny gave an agreeing nod.

                “I wouldn’t take such a sudden step, though, my Violet.” Isadora said carefully.

                “And why is that, Izzy?” Violet questioned her.

                “She probably did it for good reason.”

                “Bull _shit_. If anything this gives us more than one reason to go to the Headquarters.”

                Violet was right. Their original reason was to hunt down the Gruesome Twosome, and again, odds are, they would be there, ready to burn the place to the ground. Now, there was another reason they’d need to go there.

                Before, they didn’t care if the Headquarters burned. They only wanted to see the blood of their enemies. But now, with this knowledge, this made things a bit more… complicated.

                “We need to find whoever survived before they manage to burn the shit down.” Violet continued.

                Klaus sighed. Duncan put a hand on the side of his face. Quigley made an agreeing noise.

                Isadora cleared her throat,

                “If we ever meet Kit-”

                “We _will-”_ Violet interrupted.

                Isadora interrupted her,

                “ _If_ we ever meet Kit, we’ll try to have a _civil_ discussion with her.”

                Quigley laughed out loud,

                “US? _CIVIL?_ You’re fucking hilarious, sis.”

                Duncan looked from his brother to his sister and back. Klaus ran his hands through his curly hair, then crossing his arms,

                “Listen, we just need to take one day at a time right now. We need to distract Olaf, make sure he doesn’t head to the mountains.”

                Carmelita looked between them,

                “I just remembered something.”

                They all looked at her.

                “The Snow Scouts usually celebrate False Spring and crown a False Spring Queen at the top of the Mortmain Mountains around this time of year - _usually_ it was me, but because of my _untimely_ disappearance someone else is _unfortunately_ going to take my place.” Carmelita said, gritting her teeth in prissy anger near the end of her information.

                The other kids stared at her in silence.

                “Carmelita.” Violet started.

                “What?”

                “The Snow Scouts - those kids - they’re going to-”

                Carmelita interrupted her,

                “ _Duh.”_

                Klaus put his hands behind his head before leaning forward in fear, “Oooooh my God-”

                “This is bad.” Duncan said in a panic, then running out of the van.

                “Wh-why? What? What’s-?” Carmelita began.

                Violet looked at her,

                “The Gruesome Twosome no doubt know about this, and knowing them, they’re probably going to kill those kids or worse.”

                Carmelita suddenly felt sick.

                “We need to hurry this shit up. Bitchfuck better get here _real fuckin’ quick.”_ Violet said through clenched jaws.

                This only complicated things _even more._

                There was a lot more at stake than they thought.

* * *

 

                Jacquelyn paced the main room of the Madame Lulu tent, “This isn’t good.”

                Duncan nodded, clearly a mess of emotions.

                “We need to get to the Headquarters before they do. or at least stall them. Son of a _bitch.”_ Jacquelyn took out her walkie talkie and stared at it.

_Who am I supposed to call?_

                She then remembered a certain someone she saw in the seats at the show.

                “...I think I know someone who could help.” She said after some time.

                Olivia blinked at her love,

                “...Who?”

                “His name is Lemony Snicket.”

                Duncan blinked at her, “What kind of name is… _Lemony?”_

                “Exactly, I thought the same thing when I first met the man. Anyways, I saw him in the seats, he should be nearby. He’s here for a _reason_ . I thought he had died. _Obviously_ , he didn’t. Son of a bitch faked his death. Incredible.” Jacquelyn explained.

                “Faked his death? Why would he do _that??”_ Duncan asked, alarmed.

                “Clearly, he wanted out of V.F.D., so he took the most direct approach, instead of lying like Larry and I did. Technically, we’re still _in_ V.F.D., but they don’t know we’ve defected. Dumbasses.” The woman grumbled.

                “This is confusing.” Duncan croaked.

                Olivia blinked at her, wide eyed, “And utterly complicated.”

                “Duncan, go back to the van. Olivia, keep looking over our plans. I need to go find that man.” Jacquelyn ordered.

                The two nodded and watched as she exited the tent.

* * *

 

                Everyone was now staring at _Duncan_ this time. The nervous journalist had explained everything that had transpired, and now they were just as confused as he was.

                “Lemony Snicket?” Klaus asked.

                “What the fuck kind of name is _that?_ And why is he here? Has he been following us? If he has been, _why-?”_ Violet was throwing out questions into the air, for nobody in particular to answer, only to have Quigley interrupt her,

                “It doesn’t matter, the fact of the matter is that I think we can trust this doo. He fucking _faked his own death_ to get out of V.F.D.”

                “That’s impressively metal.” Isadora said from behind her mask, her eyebrows raised.

                “Are you _sure_ we can trust this guy, though?” Carmelita squinted at him.

                “I mean. Probably.”

                She rolled her eyes.

                Quigley huffed, “Look, I’m not a genius-”

                “Clearly.”

                “Fuck off.”

                “Can’t. Too cute.”

                Carmelita gave Quigley a shit-eating grin.

                Violet glanced at the red head, “She’s right. She’s too cute.”

                Carmelita clapped giddily and laughed at him.

                “Babe, who’s side are you on?” Quigley snapped.

                “Quit fighting, we’ve got more important shit to worry about.” Violet snapped right back at him. He furrowed his brows, annoyed. She was right, but he was still agitated.

                “Let’s just. Get some sleep. We can deal with all this shit tomorrow.” Klaus said slowly.

                “Whatever.” Carmelita snipped, throwing a blanket over herself.

* * *

 

                “Didn’t this place used to be a dump?” Olaf asked, pulling up to Caligari Carnival. Esmé sneered, “Who gives a shit, I just want to find those shitty little _brats_ and get the _sugar bowl._ ”

                The white faced women glanced at each other.

                “Well, now with three of my original henchpeople gone, I’ll be needing those Kitsune people more than ever. Madame Lulu apparently _knows all,_ so she’ll know where your sugar bowl is, and where my pretty little pet went. Should’ve leashed her down _sooner.”_ The vile man spat.

                Esmé felt her stomach churn. More out of anger than disgust, but disgust was in there.

                A couple of Kitsune came out of the black van that pulled up, and opened the doors of Olaf’s worn down car, letting them out. Esmé smiled pleasantly at the suit as they took her hand to help her out.

                “ _Thank_ you, darling. Olaf, flame, why can’t you be more like this one here?” Esmé complained.

                Olaf glanced at her, “What are you going on about, now, witch?”

                She snarled at him as he walked over to the tall poster that was tacked to the fence by the entrance,

                “‘ _Madame Lulu and the Mysterious Magician’s Court’?_ How enthralling. Come on, then. Let’s see what we can find in this backwoods haunted house.” Olaf ordered.

                The sun floated high in the sky, just past noon. Fowl was out with his lions, feeding and petting them. Celeste was dusting off her silks on a clothesline. Ayan juggled some daggers nearby. He caught them and bowed to Celeste, who clapped happily.

                “Are you the circus freaks?” Olaf rose one side of his brow at them.

                Ayan glared at him, and Celeste stepped in front of him, “We’re part of the Magician’s Court; We’re entertainers, not… _that.”_ She spoke carefully, sweeping back her long hair. Fowl had noticed their arrival and went off to find the others.

                Esmé laughed, “I don’t care _what_ you are, your outfits are _so_ ‘in’! Are those butterfly wings real?

                Celeste blinked at her as Ayan snickered.

                “Ah, tourists! Welcome, welcome to Caligari Carnival! I am Madame Lulu, Dragon Mistress of Mystery. I see you’ve already met Celeste and Ayan. Fowl, have you seen my daughter and her precious right hand?” Lulu spoke gently, looking from Olaf to Fowl.

                Fowl nodded, “She should be on her way. She said she was fairly eager to meet these tourists.”

                Olaf grinned, “Ah, Madame Lulu, I’ve heard tales of your power from across the Hinterlands - right, my sweet?” He looked to Esmé, who squinted at him,

                “Yes. Well. Anyways.”

                “That poster at the entrance - it’s extravagant, did you make it yourselves?” Olaf asked, “I saw you first, of course, but the particularly lovely little lady with the smaller horns, that must be your lovely little daughter, yes?”

                Madame Lulu’s eye twitched slightly, “Ah, yes, little Wysteria - where is she?”

                “Here, mother dearest.”

                A faint, gentle voice came from behind the members of the Court, and the two villains looked past them.

                A short girl with a tall, spiked staff and flowing, fluffy garbs came gracefully their direction, a snarling boy with a torn shirt walking carefully alongside her.

                Olaf snorted, “The darling girl has a little _freak_ of a guard dog, how sweet.” He laughed, looking back at some of the Kitsune and the white faced women. The Kitsune remained silent and the women laughed nervously. Esmé sneered.

                Lulu clapped her hands together and looked down at her dear daughter as she stopped at her side, Cedric glaring at Olaf from just behind the girl’s shoulder.

                “There you are, my darling little sweetheart! Where have you been?” Lulu asked sweetly.

                Wysteria blinked, “I’ve been mixing some potions. The pixies were helping with my noxious concoctions.” Cedric nodded, “Just in case someone _vile_ decided to infiltrate our home.” he growled.

                Olaf looked at Cedric’s sharp eyes and felt an uncomfortable shiver run up his spine.

                “Well,” Esmé said, “That sounds wonderful! Aren’t you two just darling? Now, Lulu, we heard you could see visions and generally just _everything,_ we need your help.”

                Madame Lulu blinked at her, her daughter’s face was as blank as a new slab of stone.

                “In order for me to aid you, you must provide me with pay. What, pray tell, do you have to give _me?”_ The draconic woman said, placing a sharp nail on her chin in wonder.

                Olaf cleared his throat, “Well, I know _very_ many ways that I could _repay_ you.” He waggled his brow at her. Lulu looked unimpressed,

                “I run a carnival, not a whore house, dearest… what is your name?” Madame Lulu replied in abject disgust.

                “ _Olaf,_ my Lulu,” He grabbed her hand in his and placed a chaste kiss upon it, to which she pulled away slowly, attempting to hide her disgust. Wysteria’s eyes darkened,

                “Don’t touch my mother without her permission, tainted dirt of the Earth.”

                Olaf laughed, “What an adorable young woman, aren’t you?”

                Cedric let out a deep, guttural growl, causing the wicked villain to let out a frightful noise.

                Esmé rolled her eyes, “I am Esmé Gigi Genevieve Squalor, pleasantries, and the little girl is right, Olaf. Don’t do that to a woman without her _permission._ She is a _lady.”_

                Olaf waved her off, “If payment is what you want, I could _easily_ help you with your show-”

                Madame Lulu cut him off, “We needn’t the help of someone not from the Court. The pixies help us enough. I _will,_ however, let you stay for the show that is tomorrow evening, since you seem to be a trained thespian, yes?”

                Olaf smirked, standing upright, “Well, as a matter of fact, I _am_ such! I'll gladly critique your show in exchange for what I need. Sounds like a fair proposition to me, doesn’t it, dearest?” He looked to Esmé, who waved her hands around in irritation, “Yes, yes, _yes, darling,_ that sounds perfectly fine by me. I just want to know where the DAMN _sugar bowl is.”_ The woman hissed.

                Madame Lulu smiled, “Of course, you shall know of what you need after the show. We _do_ hope you enjoy it.” The draconic woman then gave a sharp-toothed smile, causing the two villains to stare at her in sudden shock.

                Wysteria gave Olaf a piercing glare before turning to leave,

                “Vile man who walks the Earth, the dirt and cobble under your foot shall turn to fire, burning you up in your own thirst for revenge.”

                Esmé looked at Olaf, who was staring at the girl in silence. His face was cold with fear and anger.

                Cedric spat at the disgusting man’s feet before turning to catch up with Wysteria.


	27. The Cataclysmic Carnival [5]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are things falling apart or just being pieced together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey watch this- [shatters your spine]  
> >>>There are song links in this chapter within the text. hav fun :^)
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. ?  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                After Olaf and Esmé went back to their vehicles, Olivia called everyone to the main tent for a quick meeting,

                “Now, we’ve been preparing for this - we can’t mess this up. Isadora, Carmelita, do you still have that number ready?” Olivia asked them.

                Isadora gave her a thumbs up while Carmelita nodded, her eyes wild.

                “Excellent. You all acted _beautifully_ \- Violet? I could tell you frightened him. Wonderful work, sweetheart. You’re doing amazing, sweetie.” Olivia gushed over Violet, who giggled,

                “Thanks, mom.”

                “Yeah, I saw the color drain from his face. It was fucking _hilarious.”_ Kevin complimented between laughter.

                Olivia looked at the others, “I do apologize for calling the rest of you pixies?”

                Isadora shrugged, “I see nothing wrong with it. You already have one fae on your team.” She said nodding to Colette, who smiled.

                “Now that we’ve all complimented each other,” Klaus interrupted, “We need to prepare everything, and that includes the meeting with Olaf and Esmé _after_ the show.”

                Olivia nodded, “Exactly, I’m going to need to finish finding all the right films - Klaus, Duncan, you’re organizational boys, do you mind helping me?”

                “Of course!” Duncan said, chipper. Klaus smiled, “We’d be happy to help.”

                “Where’s Jacquelyn, by the by?” Isadora spoke up.

                Olivia squinted, thinking, “She said she’d be back by tonight - she’s still looking for the not-actually-dead Snicket.”

                Violet rolled her eyes. Carmelita raised an eyebrow.

                “Excellent timing on that question, by the way.” A sudden voice came, and all the others looked to the entrance,

                There stood Jacquelyn with a particularly tall, stocky man.

                “‘Found him sitting in a wooden crate just outside grounds of the carnival out back. Weird man.” She said, presenting him.

                He took off his hat as he entered,

                “My name is Lemony Snicket, but I’m sure you already knew that.”

                

                Olivia drew a sharp intake of breath.

_This is Kit and Jacques’s brother._

                Lemony looked dearly at Violet,

                “I’m so happy you’re safe.”

                The feral teen’s blue eyes looked into his, which happened to be the same color.

                “What is. Going on?” She asked plainly.

* * *

 

                “So you’re going to help us?” Quigley asked, leaning on the stage. Lemony nodded,

                “Beatrice would have wanted me to.”

                The Baudelaires looked at him.

                Violet was the first to speak,

                “Our mother?”

                “Yes.” The lonely looking man said.

                “Are you hoping she’s the one who survived?” Klaus asked.

                Lemony adjusted his tie,

                “In short, yes.”

                Klaus felt his jaw tighten. Sunny blinked slowly. Violet crossed her arms,

                “Are you wanting to help us because of our mother - because she might be alive - not because you care about us?”

                Lemony swallowed,

                “I honestly do care about you three. An inordinate amount.”

                “Inordinate?” Sunny asked, cocking her head to one side.

                Klaus glanced at her, “It means he… cares about us a lot.”

                “I’ll help you. I’ll make my way to the Headquarters tonight.” Lemony said quickly. Jacquelyn stared up at him,

                “Lemony, no. You’ll get killed. They’ll kill you. You’ll _actually_ die this time.”

                “I’ll be fine, Miss Scieszka. I’ll do whatever it takes to help these children.” Lemony argued, then looking at the Baudelaires,

                “They deserve better.”

                Violet’s brows arched upward, and Klaus drew in a shaky breath. Sunny whimpered.

                “I’ll be off, now. Stupendous performance, by the way. Olaf and Esmé will definitely fall for it.” Lemony said before turning to leave.

                Violet stepped forward, “W-wait!” She grabbed onto his sleeve.

                He turned to her.

                “...Thank you.”

                “Of course, Violet.”

                “...Please… Please be careful.”

                Lemony smiled down at her,

                “I’ll do my best.”

                She slowly let go of the man as he left the tent. Klaus and Sunny walked to her side. She felt like she knew this man somehow. He felt… so…

                Familiar.

                Somehow.

                But why?

* * *

 

                That afternoon, the fairgrounds were bustling with people; Tourists, The Court, and Olaf and his cronies. Madame Lulu stood at the entrance of the show tent, greeting people and keeping a lookout. Fowl was over by the animal pens, feeding and helping them practice for the show, to which onlookers happily clapped for. Ayan and Celeste entered the show tent with their supplies.

                Wysteria and Cedric were inside the Madame Lulu tent with two hooded figures - the “Pixies” - doing small magic tricks for a handful of people.

                “They’ve really cleaned this place up.” Olaf said, surprised. He didn’t expect such a turnout, “Which means it’ll be all the more fun to _burn it to the ground._ ”

                Esmé rolled her eyes, “We’re trying to find the _sugar bowl,_ not get distracted-”

                “It’s not a _distraction,_ pet, it’s _villainy._ It’s what we’re _supposed_ to do!” The irredeemable man spat, “Once we get what we need, I’ll be burning this place to the ground, along with all of those _freaks.”_

                Jacquelyn glared at them from the corner of her eye as she passed them in her own dark hood. She made her way over to Madame Lulu, who had just finished speaking to some tourists about that night’s show.

                “Madame Lulu.” Jacquelyn spoke in a low, grovely voice, “Vile deeds lurk in the flames beyond the final curtain.”

                Lulu’s eyes widened, “They wouldn’t-!?” She whispered harshly.

                Jacquelyn merely nodded.

                “Backup plan F, then.” Lulu whispered to her.

                The hooded woman nodded again before turning and quickly walking away.

                If he was going to make this hard, they would definitely have to make sure this show was _perfect._

* * *

 

                Lemony had taken the Snicket taxi from behind the large pile of junk and began to make his way from the Hinterlands to the Mortmain Mountains.

                He was hoping he wasn’t too late. If it was true - if one of the Baudelaire parents was still alive - then there was a chance these children could live a normal life again, instead of continuing to be on the lam.

                On the lam, like he was.

                He wished he hadn’t had done it. Hadn’t of helped. It was a foolish endeavor. Foolish, selfish, greedy and abhorred.

                It was every negative word in the books. He was sure Bertrand and Beatrice had felt the same way. 

                They’d have to move somewhere far from the city. Far, far from here. After this was all over.

                He’d help however he could, no matter who survived. Who died.

                Lemony felt like he owed it to her.

_You could only run from something like this for so long, Snicket._

                Should he call his sister at Prufrock? She had to have known about Jacques’s death at the Village of Fowl Devotees by now. Hopefully V.F.D. didn’t blame it on the children.

                But what good would calling her do? After everything, would she still be so blindly devoted to V.F.D.?

                What was the point of it all, now?

                Well, one point was to keep those children safe.

                And he’d do it, or die trying.

* * *

 

                That evening, Caligari Carnival’s show tent had a full house - every single seat was filled. A few familiar faces were seen, even. More or less.

                Perhaps some of these faces knew who The Court members really were, or perhaps they just needed a break from the chaos in favor for something a little more… whimsical and wild.

                Well, whimsical and wild was _just_ what they were going to get.

                The lights were dim, save for a few hanging globes that gave off a faint glow, and looked as if they were floating. The crowd was all abuzz, filled with excitement. If the few carnival goers from the last show were right, then they were surely in for a treat.

                The center stage was encircled by a few resting crows, who softly called and preened themselves in the dim light. The main stage had been filled with billowing white smoke. It seemed to glitter faintly. Several silks hung downward, some of the stage lights bouncing off them, shimmering like the waves of an ocean.

                Suddenly, the curtains at the back of the stage burst open, and two hooded figures came out, holding a shimmering cloth. They raised it, and the crowd quickly fell silent.

                All eyes were on the stage.

                The cloth was dropped, and some of the smoke cleared, a few crows flew forward and out, and out stepped Madame Lulu, who threw her arms up in greeting. The crowd cheered.

                “ _Welcome, welcome, beloved fairgoers!”_ Madame Lulu spoke excitedly, “ _We of the Magician’s Court are so humbled by your applause and love. You are in for a_ **_treat_ ** _of a show tonight. It will leave you absolutely breathless.”_

                Near the end of her dialogue, two billowing silks appeared in the smoke on either sides of the stage, revealing a poised Wysteria and a ruthless Cedric. The crowd “ _Oooh”_ ed as Madame Lulu continued to speak,

                “ _I am The Great Madame Lulu, Dragon Mistress of Mystery!”_ She then gestured to the left, “ _This wonderful little child is my daughter, The Wondrous Mage Wysteria!”_ Then to the right, “ _And her loyal right hand, Cedric, The Feral Wolf Boy!”_

                The crowd applauded for them before three more figures appeared around the center stage in a burst of glitter and white smoke. Madame Lulu then gestured forward,

                “ _Master of Blades, Ayan!”_ Ayan drew his two swords proudly.

                “ _Whisperer to Winds, Celeste!”_ Celeste bowed deeply, raising the butterfly wings on her outfit.

                “ _And The Great Beast Tamer, Fowl!”_ Fowl addressed the crows surrounding the center stage, who then flew up and around the area, causing the crowd to gasp in wonder.

                Madame Lulu stepped forward, outstretching her arms to either side,

                “ _And we… are the Mysterious Magician’s Court!”_ She said triumphantly, the silks hanging above billowing wildly, the smoke flowing down from the stage, and several glitter canons setting off. The crowd went wild, cheering and applauding.

                Esmé and the white face women clapped happily while the several Kitsune sat still and silent. Olaf gave a sarcastic look, rolling his eyes.

                The first act was Ayan, whose performance was accompanied by the piece “ _[FUJIN Rumble](https://youtu.be/-kqhhCswUcw)” _. He displayed various sword tricks and wowed the crowd, ending it with a frightening battle between two hooded figures, one who wielded two swords, Madame Lulu even joined in on the fight alongside Ayan with two blades of her own.

                Then came Fowl’s performance, showcasing his laced cobra, crows, and even the two ferocious lions with “ _[Wandering One](https://youtu.be/tdlPG95lwKE)”. _He was aided by a hooded figure who seemed to be extremely hyper. The audience went wild for the crows-coming-from-the-lions-mouths trick.

                Celeste’s performance was paired with “ _[DReamWorKer](https://youtu.be/42WnTg7lMLs)”. _She looped herself in and out of her aerial silks high above the ground, making the audience gasp and waver as she weaved through the glimmering material. During a particularly dangerous series of tricks, four hooded figures came out holding several sharp objects, causing the crowd to grow tense. At the end of her performance, the audience leapt to their feet in applause.

                Wysteria and Cedric’s performance was the most intriguing, being paired with the unsettling “ _[Marry me, Nightmare](https://youtu.be/Ucgm7t3I2s4)” _. Four hooded figures came out with the mage and her feral right hand. They continued on to do many mysterious tricks, all accompanied by a smattering of flashy and mysterious effects. As their bit went on, the air grew colder and colder, causing the audience to begin shivering, and the white smoke grew heavier and heavier within the show tent.

                Olaf suddenly felt… quite uncomfortable. The Kitsune shifted in their seats.

                As the mage and wolf boy faded into the darkness of the dimming light, a faint glow began at the center stage among the billowing smoke.

                Madame Lulu slowly rose, and slowly bowed.

                “ _And now, my dear friends, we’ve come to the star performance of the show…”_

                More faint glows began to show as each of the members of The Magician’s Court appeared in the same way, then the hooded figures as well.

                “ _We welcome you - and we thank you for coming - to our…[Club Majesty](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQxnStmGcTM).” _Lulu finished darkly.

 

 ** _Da-Da-Du-La-Da-Da-Du-La~!_** ** _  
_**                  ** _Cash is your best friend._**

 

                The scene burst out in a plethora of haunting colors, the music loud and rambunctious, the performers moving about in a wild, celebratory fashion.

                The crowd roared in amazement and excitement, Olaf feeling a sudden burst of fear.

 

 _This requires money, and that requires money, too,_ _  
_                  _so I have no business with heavy debtors like you pigs._ _  
_                  _If you want the heart up ahead, it’s gonna be_ ** _pricey_** _._ _  
_                  _I’m sorry, but you penniless zombies have no chance if all you have are empty words._ _  
_                  _Get ready for the exchange, my lady._ _  
_                  _With the fragrance of_ ** _noble death_** _wrapped around you,_ _  
_                  _if you’re offering your soul as payment,_ ** _please feel free to name your wish_** _,_ _  
_                  _and it will be fulfilled,_ ** _Your Majesty_**.

 

                It’s as if they were speaking directly to him, their motions and movements pointing to him, blaming him, singling him out,

 

_I’m here to take you to the magnificent “show.”_

 

                Wysteria and Cedric spoke that line alone, staring directly into Olaf’s eyes, he felt like. He gripped the edge of the old wooden bench beneath him.

 

 _(The transactions will be_ ** _completely fair_** _)_ _  
_                  _(We deal in both buying and selling_ ** _souls._** _)_ _  
_                  _(You can name your wishes, and they’ll_ ** _come true._** _)_ _  
_                  _(Taking from others,_ ** _to have more taken from yourself._** )

 

                The low beats kept the crowd wanting more, and Olaf wanting _much_ less.

 

_Everything you want (the way you want it)_

 

                Olaf gulped, the performers grinning deviously from ear to ear, the dark hooded figures drawing closer to the stands.

 

_Everything? (Everything!)_

_Everything? (Everything!)_

**_Come on!_ **

 

                The crowd roared, Esmé ignorantly clapping along.

 

_Welcome to――_

_Elaborate dresses, and elegant make-ups._ _  
_                  _This is your_ ** _hell_** _,_ _  
_                  ** _Club Majesty._** _  
_                  _I’ll welcome you with open arms, my_ ** _greedy_** _lady. Let me be your butler._ _  
_                  _Please go ahead and choose your victim, be they the fuhrer or Jesus._ _  
_                  _I shall skin them or hang them up, whichever you want._ _  
_                  ** _What is your command?_**

 ** _Da-Da-Du-La-Da-Da-Du-La~!_** ** _  
_**                  ** _Cash is your best friend._**

 

                The crowd applauded and cheered at the flashy performance so far, silks weaving in and out of the rapidly moving bodies, smoke and fog billowing around them, the lights flashing, sparkling-

                The Bastard Man felt cold. _Deathly_ cold. Chilled to the bone. The Kitsune shifted every once in a while, some clenching their fists.

                Meanwhile, Esmé and the white faced women were having the time of their lives.

 

 _Surrounded by as much money as they wanted,_ _  
_                  _like the number of stars in the sky,_

_her family lived happily ever after――_

_My, how you love to jest._

**_They’ve died, all of them._ **

 

                Olaf felt a pang of fear and guilt run through him like ice.

 

 _That’s money, but whose money?_ _  
_                  _Let me show you our “Grace Night Plan,” with compound interest and 100x rate._ _  
_                  _Any_ ** _honest and upright person_** _would return what they borrow,_ ** _right?_** _  
_                  _I hope you’ll employ our service again._ ** _Thank you!!_**

**_Oh!!_ **

 

                He felt a mixture of disgust, confusion, and fear,

 

**_Let’s shake hands!_ **

_Welcome, once again._

_Let me show you the way._

_(The transactions will be_ ** _completely fair_** _)_ _  
_                  _(We deal in both buying and selling_ ** _souls._** _)_ _  
_                  _(You can name your wishes, and they’ll_ ** _come true._** _)_ _  
_                  _(Taking from others,_ ** _to have more taken from yourself._** )

 _It’s unstoppable?_ **_(Unstoppable!)_ **

_You want more? (More!)_

_More?_ **_(More!)_ **

**_Come on!_ **

 

                A strong wave of cheers went through the crowd.

 

_Welcome to――_

_Let me pour some life into your glimmering glass._ _  
_                  _This place here is_ _  
_                  ** _Club Majesty,_** _  
_                  _in the_ ** _deepest realm of hell._** ** _  
_**                  _We have bottles of_ ** _“Envy,”_** **_“Disappointment,”_** _and_ ** _“Despair.”_** _  
_                  _Which shall I open first?_ _  
_                  _Please go ahead,_ ** _since you make the rules._** _If you have no idea,_ ** _then you’re a fool._** _  
_                  _It’s ok, you can be a_ ** _coward or a crybaby or whatnot;_** _I’ll cover up for you._ _  
_                  **** _So whisper your command in my ears?_

 

                Esmé let out a fit of laughter, slapping Olaf in the arm.

 

 ** _Da-Da-Du-La-Da-Da-Du-La~!_** ** _  
_**                  ** _Cash is your white knight._**

 

                The audience was on their feet as the performers moved kept moving quickly, wildly, frighteningly across the stages and the floor, smoke and glitter filling the air. The crows flew wildly, the lions roared, blades flew through the air with dark delight.

 

 _(The transactions will be_ ** _completely fair_** _)_ _  
_                  _(We deal in both buying and selling_ ** _souls._** _)_ _  
_                  _(You can name your wishes, and they’ll_ ** _come true._** _)_ _  
_                  _(Taking from others,_ ** _to have more taken from yourself._** )

 _It’s not enough?_ **_(Not enough!)_ **

_A little more?_ **_(A little more!)_ ** _A little more?_ **_(A little more!)_ **

 

                Wysteria grew closer and closer to where Olaf was sitting,

 

 _You want more?_ **_(More!)_ **

 

                Cedric did the same, growling,

 

 _More?_ **_(More!)_**

 

                A sword flew in the vile man’s direction before stopping short,

 

_You want all of it?_

**_(All of it!)_ **

 

                There it stayed as Wysteria glared at Olaf with wild eyes, Madame Lulu doing the same not far off.

 

_All of it?_

**_(All of it!)_ **

 

                The crowd screamed in wild excitement, the blade that nearly stabbed Olaf whizzing backwards to one of Ayan’s strong hands.

 

**_All right!_ **

_Please don’t tell me you believe_ _  
_                  _in those_ ** _pathetically made-up_** _notions of love and feelings and whatnot?_ _  
_                  _Out of everything in this universe, the only thing that’d_ ** _never_** betray you

_“is of course_

**_money, right?”_ **

**_Habitual liars_** _and_ ** _idle talkers_** _  
_                  _can only pray with their beaks_ ** _seamed shut._**

**_But to whom?_ **

_I shall bring along all of your_ ** _agony_** _and_ ** _loving-kindness_** _  
_                  _to_ _  
_                  ** _Club Majesty,_** _  
_                  _your personal_ ** _hell._** _  
_                  _Have some of this omnipotent ether, which refills itself the more you_ ** _consume._**

 _Cheers! Cheers!_ **_Cash!_ **

_Were you able to enjoy yourself to the_ ** _fullest?_** _  
_                  _Well then,_ ** _please hand over your payment._**

 

                With fervish applause, the crowd erupted into a frenzy, the performers laughing and singing all the while,

 

_Da-Da-Du-La-Da-Da-Du-La,_

_Da-Da-Du-La-Da-Da-Du-La,_

**_Da-Da-Du-La-Da-Da-Du-La~!_ **

_IT_

_IS_

**_SHOW TIIIIIME~!_ **

 

                Olaf’s breathing was nearly still as it felt like he was the center of this hellish attention.

 

**_Da-Da-Du-La-Da-Da-Du-La,_ **

 

                Mocking him.

 

**_Da-Da-Du-La-Da-Da-Du-La-AH~!_ **

 

                His skin was cold, damp with sweat, agony scratching at his psyche like a starving beast.

 

**_Da-Da-Du-La-Da-Da-Du-La~!_ **

 

                He felt like he was going to be sick.

 

**_Cash is your best friend._ **

 

                The music faded, several more glittering canons shot off, the performers posing, breathing heavily. The audience cheered turbulently, applauding and yelling, throwing out hats and loving compliments.

                As the applause and cheers went on, the performers took deep bows, waving and giving thankful gestures.

                “Oh, that was just _splendid,_ wasn’t it, darling? Just- Every _BIT_ of that was positively _divine!!”_ Esmé shouted over the noise to Olaf, who felt dizzy. Sick.

                Wysteria and Cedric gave each other wild, feral smiles.

                It had worked _beautifully._

* * *

 

                As the crowd filed out of the show tent, they were in a flurry of chatter. Some were even attempting to sing the little piece that was at the end of the show, others were talking about wanting cobras or crows of their own, _lions_ even.

                Olaf had to be carefully lead out by Esmé, “Honestly, dearest, I don’t know why you’re so shaken up. It’s not like that sword was _actually_ going to hit you!” She laughed loudly. The white faced women nodded, laughing along with her.

                He sneered,

                “Let’s just… get to Madame Lulu’s tent after this… _crowd_ has cleared.”

                Esmé gave an annoyed eye roll, “Fine, then - be a stick-in-the-mud, why don’t you?”

                Back in the show tent, Olivia ran up to Violet and Quigley, hugging them tightly,

                “You two did _so well!_ I’m _so_ proud of you!”

                Kevin howled with laughter, “We really had the motherfucker scared!”

                Sunny clapped her little hands together, cackling, “ _MORT!”_

                “Hell yes!! Did you see his _face_ when the sword effect happened? I thought he was going to _cry!”_ Colette grabbed onto Kevin’s arm. Hugo nodded quickly.

                Olivia turned to the farm sibs, grinning. Violet and Quigley giggled at each other.

                The hooded figures pulled back their hoods. Duncan and Klaus were grinning ear to ear. Isadora’s eyes seemed to be glowing. Brandon and Carmelita cheered loudly with each other, grabbing onto each other’s hands.  Jacquelyn was smirking triumphantly,

                “Now all that’s left is to scare the bastard away from the Headquarters.” The auburn haired woman spoke, “At least… enough to buy us and Lemony some time.”

                Everyone either nodded or made an agreeing noise, and went off to prepare for Madame Lulu’s meeting.

* * *

 

                Olaf and Esmé entered the dark tent alone.

                “Madame Lulu?” The blonde called out, “Are you there?”

                The beaded curtain shifted, and two hooded figures came out. The villains stopped cold.

                The figures pulled apart the beads, Madame Lulu coming into view, her face cold and blank,

                “Ah, Olaf and Esmé, splendid to see you.”

                Olaf smiled nervously, and Esmé gave a weak wave.

                “What did you think of The Court’s performance?”

                Esmé’s face lit up, “Oh, darling, it was _FANTASTIC!_ SO ‘in’! I can’t wait to tell everyone back in the city _all_ about it-!”

                Olaf cleared his throat. She stopped cold.

                The wicked, disgusting man smiled,

                “Yes, it was… substantial.”

                Madame Lulu stayed emotionless, but the hooded figures bowed to them.

                “Now, about your side of the agreement..?” Olaf said from the side of his mouth.

                The draconic woman’s eyes glittered in the darkness,

                “Of course. Please, do come into the crystal ball room. We have much to speak about.”

                The two villains followed Madame Lulu into the smaller room, the hooded figures letting the beaded curtain fall back into place behind them. Two more figures were waiting beside Madame Lulu’s chair before the crystal ball.

                She took her seat as the two villains took theirs,

                “Now,” She slowly placed two hands on the orb before her, “What you may see - what I may tell you - might cause you discomfort, fear, or unease. Does this bother you?”

                Olaf gave a forced laugh, “Of course not! Who do you think I am?”

                Lulu stared at him.

                He coughed, “Go on.”

                One of the hooded figures presented a small jar to her, which she took a dripping, glittering substance from, and threw it onto the orb.

                It began to glow. She returned her hand to it,

                “ _Past to present,_ _  
_                  _Future beyond,_ _  
_                  _Show us the path,_  
                 _Of those they have wronged.”_

                Olaf began to object to this, but the room began to shake around them, smoke billowing around their feet, the room growing horribly cold.

                The crystal ball showed a woman with dragonfly wings moving through a bunch of sheer curtains, then showed Monty, Josephine, Ike, and many more people…

                “ _Your greed and pride have brought a grim fate upon you. The path of revenge you walk will be your undoing. The item you seek is far beyond your reach. The place you have been called to has been compromised. Deep within this vast, empty, expanse, you must wander to find your true path…_ ”

                Olaf gulped, and Esmé gave an angry huff,

                “What, so those little BRATS _lost_ the sugar bowl somewhere in the Hinterlands? Darling, can you fucking _believe this?”_

                The vile man blinked, “We’ll have to find them somewhere here, then.”

                Madame Lulu looked up from the ball.

                Olaf looked at her, and felt another sharp rake of fear scrape up his spine,

                “L-let’s get out of here. No point in staying here any longer.”

                The two villains then quickly left the tent.

                Esmé turned back, “Thank you, Miss Lulu for all your help and hospitality! Tell those little darlings Wysteria and Cedric I said hi~!”

                Madame Lulu nodded, her hands behind her back, her face stone.

                The other members of The Court and the hooded figures watched as Olaf and his cronies got into their rides and sped off into the night.

                Wysteria gave a triumphant smile.

                “Caligari Carnival still stands, and we’ve got them convinced. Move on to the next step in plan A.” Jacquelyn said from under her hood.

                "Wait, we didn't get information about the-" Wysteria stopped.

                "We'll worry more about that, later. Right now, there are other things to take care of." Jacquelyn said simply.

                Klaus stepped over to her,

                "We need to see what's in the sugar bowl."


	28. An Impermissible Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to go either downhill or uphill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S ALL YEET FROM HERE, FOLKS.
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. ?  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. ?  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. ?  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                   

                "We need to see what's in the sugar bowl." Klaus looked at Jacquelyn, Olivia, and Violet.

                Violet blinked,

                “Well, I guess now’s a better time than ever.”

                Jacquelyn sighed, “If we see something that we aren’t supposed to, don’t blame me.”

                “Why would we blame you?” Duncan asked hesitantly.

                “I used to be _in_ V.F.D.-”

                “But they didn’t tell you everything.”

                “... I’d still feel guilty.”

                “Don’t.”

                The corner of Jacquelyn’s mouth twitched upward for a second at Duncan’s reassurance.

                Olivia looked around the group, “It’s in the crystal ball room.”

                “Wow. ‘Really _was_ under her nose, huh?” Carmelita cackled, “What a dumb bitch, I swear.”

                “Something like that.” Violet grumbled as they entered the tent.

                Jacquelyn and Violet went over to pull apart the beaded curtain as Olivia moved through it, pulling the bowl from under the clothed table.

                She then placed it on the table in the main room, and everyone gathered around it.

                “Now, what you may see _might_ shock, or disturb, or confuse. I don’t know which. We haven’t looked, either.” Jacquelyn said slowly.

                Quigley shrugged and Violet rose her brows. Duncan and Klaus both made a fearful face, Duncan supplying a worried noise.

                “Open it, already, holy shit.” Carmelita complained, Brandon then placing a patient hand on her shoulder.

                Hugo blinked, “It can’t be that bad, can it?”

                Kevin grinned, “I hope it’s a human organ.” Quigley nodded at him, chuckling.

                Colette gave him a perplexed look, “Which human organ would fit in a _sugar bowl?”_

                Klaus cleared his throat, “Well, there are a few, namely-”

                “Please. Do not.” Hugo threw his hands up.

                Isadora laughed, “You’re all really nervous about this bowl.”

                “And you’re not?” Quigley looked at his sister.

                “Perhaps.”

                “ _ANYWAYS,”_ Violet said suddenly, “If we’re all done fucking around, just get the fucking lid off that thing.”

                Olivia moved aside as Jacquelyn slowly moved her hand to the lid of the sugar bowl, and raised the piece of porcelain slowly upward...

* * *

 

                It was cold. It was unbelievably cold. It was cold and hot at the same time. How was that even possible? Ice shouldn’t be hot?

 _Touch your face._ It’s singed. It’s scarred. It still hurts. It hurts like it did that day. _I couldn’t. Told me to get out. Go to the. The Headquarters._ It’s fuzzy. Was it the trauma? The trauma from the experience?

                The dark figure stumbled around in the darkness of the tunnels, “F-fuck. The… the kids. I need. The Headquarters.”

                It was hard to stay on task. Things were fuzzy. Things felt unreal. Was this a dream?

_Was this a dream?_

_Am I really alive? Is this limbo?_

_Is this my punishment?_

_For what I’ve done?_

_For what I didn’t do?_

                The dark figure felt along the walls. Was it dark or had they been blinded? No, they saw the signs earlier. That wouldn’t make any sense -

                It burned. It was cold. It felt like fire. Ice.

                Was it worth it?

                “Hello? Who’s there?”

                That voice it was familiar. A voice from the past. Of course. Someone else from that damned organization had to be in here. But who’s voice? The one… oh… he was dear to them…

                “Larry?” _God, my voice hurts. It sounds like shit._

                “Oh- Oh my _God-?”_ Larry said, “Are you..?”

                “The- The Headquarters. ‘Need to get to the Headquarters.” _It fucking hurts to talk._

                Larry nodded quickly, “R-right. I’ll help you, I’ll help you- They’re going to be _so_ happy to see you- God, oh my God?”

                The dark figure took Larry’s hand.

* * *

 

                The sky was dark, the moon full and glowing, white clouds passing by lazily. Fernald sat on the upper deck of the SSHAB, reading a book on mushrooms. Hector poked his head out from the lower deck,

                “We’ll find her, don’t worry.”

                Fernald glanced up at him,

                “I know. Maybe. Probably.” He shook his head, “I’m just worried about what our step-father has shoved into her head."

                “You said she’s a bright girl.” The person of indeterminate gender said, “She’ll be fine. Fiona is smarter than that. She’s not ignorant enough to listen to someone who drones on about a cult like V.F.D. and just accepts it as base fact.”

                “Gimle’s right.” Hector said, pointing to them and looking to Fernald.

                Fernald gave a sigh, “I just don’t know how we’re going to find a submarine from the _air?”_

                Gimle shrugged,

                “Anything is possible if you put your mind to it.”

                “They’re right - just look at the kids! Violet and the others have definitely made some strides. They helped you guys out, in a way.” Hector explained.

                Fernald smiled faintly, “Yeah. I guess you’re right.” His face then fell into disgruntled confusion, “I _still_ don’t know how we’re going to do it, though.”

                “I know a few things - I might be able to help.” Gimle said plainly, “It should be simple enough.”

                “If you say so!” Hector said happily, then disappearing to the lower deck again.

* * *

 

                A villainous, trashy old car and a black van sped down the dusty road of the Hinterlands, the former being driven by a man so disgusting, so dastardly, so incomprehensible, one might think he would have been shot on sight when seen by an officer, but we all know how competent the police are in this world, and really in any world ever.

                “This is the most _irritating_ thing on the planet. I had the girl. I _had_ her. She, and the fortune that belongs to _me._ That bald son of a bitch. Incompetent fucking prick.” Olaf spat angrily, slapping at the wheel.

                Esmé gave a long roll of her eyes, then turning her attention to the road ahead. There was something in the distance.

                “Once I find that little _brat,_ I’ll be putting her on a collar and _leash,_ tie her little wrists and ankles. Drag her into the van-”

                “Darling.”

                “Give her a little _talking_ to is what I’ll _do,”_

                Esmé felt sick, “ _Darling-”_

                The something was coming closer - it sat still, blocking the road. The vile idiot was heading right towards it and not slowing down. Like an _idiot_.

                Olaf kept going on and on.

                “ **_DARLING._ **”

                “ **_WHAT, WHORE?_ **”

                She pointed furiously over the dashboard of the car, to which Olaf’s eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he quickly slammed his foot onto the brake pedal, skidding to a stop, throwing up dust. The van containing the Kitsune behind them slowed to a stop.

                The white faced women and Esmé ceased their screaming, and the area around them was surrounded by a thick cloud of pale brown dust. Olaf was gripping tightly to the steering wheel when two dark figures faintly moved toward them.

                “...Does anyone else feel that terrifying aura?” Said one of the white faced women. “Definitely so.” Said the other.

                Olaf scrambled from the car at looked at the two towering figures emerging from the cloud of dust,

                “Ah! Hello, hello, hello..! S- _so_ pleasant to see y-you-!”

                “Olaf, we send you aid and yet again you fail us.” The man with a beard and no hair said.

                “Yes, we give you everything you need and yet you _still_ can’t seem to get it done.” The woman with hair and no beard continued.

                Olaf grimaced. Esmé blinked at them,

                “Ah, the Gruesome Twosome! I was wondering when I’d see you two, again!” She said happily as she exited the car as well.

                The man raised his eyebrows at her,

                “Esmé. And what have you done?”

                The blonde stopped in her tracks,

                “Well, I-”

                “You’ve failed as well, so far.” The woman said. The man nodded, “And we had entrusted so much in you.”

                Esmé let out a nervous laugh, “Well, those children are quite the _irritation_ \- remarkable, annoying little shits, those lot-”

                The man held up a hand, causing Esmé to clamp her mouth shut.

                “We’ve come to inform you that we’ve received word of something positively infuriating.” The woman said simply.

                “Yes,” The man said, “One of the Baudelaire parents is still alive, and is heading to the Headquarters in the Mortmain Mountains.”

                Olaf and Esmé’s faces went on a journey; Shock, then disbelief, then disgust, then anger.

                “This certainly puts a wedge in our plans, but we’ll be sure to take care of this little kink.” The woman smiled.

                The man smiled as well, “No doubt those children are on their way there, now.”

                “You have another chance to prove yourselves - come with us and aid us in burning the Headquarters to the ground.” The woman continued.

                The man glared at Olaf, “And _kill_ the children; They’ve proven to be nothing but a nuisance.”

                Olaf sputtered, “But the Baudelaire fortune - and the _Quagmire_ fortune-!”

                “Those fortunes are small potatoes.” The woman snapped at him. Olaf swallowed,

                “I thought it was money-?”

                “ _Enough.”_ The Gruesome Twosome said together, causing the vile man to cower under them.

                The dust had nearly settled as the man pointed his cane to the large van behind them,

                “Get in.”

                “We’ll slaughter the Baudelaire and Quagmire lines and destroy the Headquarters all in one fell swoop.” The woman said, “It’s been said that revenge is a dish best served cold, is it not?”

                “And the peaks of the Mortmain Mountains are quite chilly indeed.” The man gave a horrible smile.

                Olaf and Esmé gave shaky nods before heading to the large vehicle. The white faced women looked between each other and then to the Gruesome Twosome before following the others.

_This just doesn’t feel right, sister._

_I know what you mean._

* * *

 

                “Is that-” Quigley started in disbelief.

                “That’s fuCKING-” Violet started, then snickered.

                Jacquelyn looked confusedly into the bowl. Sugar?

                “...Sugar.”

                “No. That can’t be sugar.” Olivia laughed awkwardly.

                Jacquelyn gave her a look as she licked her own pinky finger and then dipped it into the bowl,

                Gave it a taste,

                And her eyes widened at the sudden realization-

                “This is… that’s… this is cocaine.”

                Violet, Quigley, and Carmelita immediately bust out laughing. Duncan blinked slowly,

                “I understand now.”

                “Un-understa-a-and WhAt!?” Quigley said in between laughter.

                “Why Esmé is… _that way.”_ Duncan replied.

                Violet and Carmelita were clinging to each other on the floor, crying with laughter. Klaus stood beside Duncan, absolutely bewildered.

                “Bitch’s on crack.” Sunny said plainly. Isadora snorted loudly.

                “AAAHAHAAAA OOOH MY FUCKING _FUUUUUCK-”_ Kevin screeched out loudly as he too laughed, leaning onto Brandon’s shoulder, who was busy trying to fully understand what the _fuck_ was going on currently.

                Jacquelyn wiped her hand on her clothes, “Well, this is certainly something.”

                “You _did_ say it might confuse.” Olivia offered.

                Jacquelyn looked at her, then to the “sugar” bowl, and back,

                “I don’t think there is a lot of _confusion_ here, it’s just the fact of why Esmé would put… _coke_ in the _sugar_ bowl-”

                “I’m sure it was filled with sugar at _some_ point.” Hugo tried, gesturing to the bowl. Colette nodded helpfully.

                “Then why the hell do both sides of the schism want it so fucking bad?” Klaus asked, trying to be heard over the howling laughter.

                “I suppose now it’s just some useless trophy to be claimed and won.” Jacquelyn looked emotionlessly at the piece of porcelain.

                “fUCKing YIKES.” Violet let out, breathing heavily, “Are you fucking _kidding me?”_

                “No, I suppose I’m not.” Jacquelyn said simply.

                Violet looked at the auburn-haired woman with wild eyes,

                “I’m going to have a fucking _field day_ with that fucking shebitch holy FUCK.” Violet swore happily, staring at the bowl. Klaus gulped,

                “Listen, we just - we need to get to the Headquarters.”

                The others had begun to calm down when Olivia chuckled to Jacquelyn, “He’s right. We need to find the surviving Baudelaire parent and kill the Gruesome Twosome.”

                Jacquelyn placed the lid back onto the sugar bowl,

                “Finding the Baudelaire parent might not be _too_ hard… but slaying the Twosome… _that_ might prove to be… a challenge.”

                Violet stood up, smoothing out the skirts of her disguise,

                “Well then,” She giggled maniacally, “ _Good thing I love a challenge then, huh?_ ”

                Klaus and Duncan gave each other a worried look.


	29. The Scornful Slope [1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cru is on their way to something wicked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Be careful out there."
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. ?  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. ?  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                “These new clothes are so  _ comfy!”  _ Colette said, looking at her leggings. Hugo nodded, “I’m still a little self-conscious about my humpback - the hoodie really helps.”

                “Fashionable  _ and  _ functional, look at you, bro!” Kevin said, tying a bandana around his head. Brandon giggled.

                “If you’re done gaggling about, we need to keep packing things up.” Klaus said, “We need to get to the Headquarters ASAP.”

                “We heard that the first million times.” Quigley complained, “But he’s right. I’d like to thank the person who helped make the dynamite gal I so love and cherish dearly.” He cooed toward Violet, who giggled.

                “ _ Augh…” _ Sunny whined, carrying an armful of new pistols past them.

                Klaus double took her, “Who-  _ who is letting the baby handle firearms!?” _

                “Noooot a baby!” Sunny called back as she toddled onward toward the van.

                Various open and closed trunks, bags, and the like were littered around the van, various members moving various things into and on top of the van, Brandon strapping them down. Olivia, Violet, and Quigley had returned to their normal clothes.

                “You sure these’ll hold, babe?” Kevin looked at Brandon, who was currently pulling down some rope around a couple of supply trunks.

                “Violet just showed me the Devil’s Tongue Knot - she said it’d hold anything and everything.”

                Violet smirked, “It’ll hold.”

                Kevin shrugged, “Good enough for me.”

                Jacquelyn walked up to them, “And as good as it’s going to get - Lemony should nearly be at the Headquarters by now. Hopefully Larry’s spotted the survivor, and the Twosome haven’t gotten there yet.”

                Olivia nodded, “Time may not be on our side, but we’ll be sure to beat the odds.”

                Carmelita shivered, “I’m worried about the Snow Scouts.”

                Violet looked at her, dead in the eye,

                “We’ll make sure those kids get out alive.”

                Carmelita merely nodded before getting into the van.

                Kevin and Brandon hoisted up the last of the supply trunks onto the van, tying them down. The other members of the cru began to climb into the van.

                “That should be everything.” Brandon called, “I don’t know how we’ll fare on the drive upward - or the drive downward, for that matter - but we should be good to go, for now.”

                “Brandon?” Carmelita poked her head out.

                “Yeah, cuz?”

                “You never told me what the stain on here was.”

                “It’s blood.”

                Violet blinked,

                “ _ Blood!?”  _ She called out. Carmelita’s mouth turned upwards into a menacing grin.

                Brandon nodded, “My father was a pedophile. So I ran him over, really. Never thought to clean up the stain.”

                “Holy shit.” Violet whispered, “I  _ knew  _ I could trust this dude-! Carm, your cousin is a fucking  _ legend.” _

                Carmelita cackled, “ _ I know.” _

                “All aboard the Murder Express, y’all!” Quigley called as the rest of the members boarded the van. Violet and Isadora laughed.

                Brandon turned on the ignition and off they went, leaving Caligari Carnival behind.

                The farm sibs looked back at the shrinking carnival, feeling both wistful and thankful. This was a new chapter in their lives.

* * *

 

                The ride was a little long, and nerve wracking, but that didn’t stop the kids from having any fun. Violet, Quigley, Carmelita, Brandon, and Kevin sung along to “ _ Dirty Car”  _ while Klaus and Duncan talked on and on about their interests. Isadora scribbled away in her commonplace book while Olivia read “ _ A Tale of Two Cities _ ” beside her. Colette sat curled up in a corner knitting, Hugo looking out the window, trying to drown out the noise.

                Jacquelyn took out her walkie-talkie and turned it on,

                “...Waiter?”

                There was some silence before some noise came up, stayed for a few seconds, then faded,

                “S-spy-!”

                “Larry, what’s your status?”

                “I found - Please, don’t move too much,” Larry said distantly, then came back, “I found the Baudelaire survivor. You’re on your way, right?”

                Jacquelyn felt her nerves catch fire,

                “Yes. We’re making our way there as quickly as possible. Stay hidden. I’m sure the Gruesome Twosome are heading there as we speak to wreak havoc. Please be safe.”

                “We’ll try our best.” Larry responded. Jacquelyn heard a raspy voice after his.

                “Who is it?” She asked the waiter quickly.

                “They told me not to say a thing until you got here.” Larry replied sadly.

                Jacquelyn gave an irritated huff, “Of course. Right. Also, Lemony is on his way there, too. Tell me if you see any sight of him.”

                “L-Lemony? Lemony  _ Snicket?”  _ Larry’s voice was thick with disbelief.

                “He faked his death. He’s on his way to the Headquarters. Keep a lookout. He’s helping us.”

                “Holy  _ shit.  _ I- Alright, Roger.” Larry said before the line went silent.

                Jacquelyn leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes. Her mind was running wild.

                “Are you alright, love?” Olivia’s voice came. Jacquelyn’s eyes snapped open as she turned to the librarian,

                “I’m on edge, sweetheart.”

                Olivia placed a gentle hand on Jacquelyn’s, “Everything will be fine. We’ll get through this.”

                Jacquelyn swallowed,

                “Right.”

                As this happened, the kids in the van were causing comedic chaos as usual.

                “All in favor that Klaus is baby, say I.” Quigley called.

                There was a chorus of “I!”’s from all the kids but Kaus, of course. Klaus sputtered, “I am- Y-  _ hey!  _ I am  _ NOT  _ a  _ baby!” _

                Violet snickered, “Not  _ a  _ baby. Just. Baby.” She said simply, looking at her brother.

                “Fuck you. I’m not…  _ baby.”  _ The spectacled boy glared.

                “Oh yeah?” Violet said sarcastically.

                Klaus squinted at her, “If anything… y- _ you’re  _ baby!”

                Duncan sighed, “Babe, you and I are baby. Violet is  _ clearly  _ not baby.”

                Quigley grinned, “Exactly, Violet  _ can’t  _ be baby - she’s too feral.”

                Isadora didn’t look up from her commonplace book, “Sunny is feral, and  _ she’s  _ baby.”

                Sunny whined, “ _ Not baby!!” _

                “Too bad.” Isadora answered back. Sunny let out an irritated noise as Quigley and Duncan laughed.

                “I just can’t see Vi as  _ baby _ , y’know?” Quigley said, placing an arm around the girl, who nodded. Carmelita grabbed onto Klaus’s hair, “Yeah, bookworm!” Klaus let out a yelp.

                “I can.” Olivia smiled to herself as she said this. Violet squinted at her, leaning into Quigley’s shoulder, “Of  _ course  _ YOU’D see me as baby, Olivia.” She scoffed, “You’re like. One of my moms.”

                Olivia glanced up at her and nodded.

                “See? You’re baby.” Klaus said, crossing his arms. Duncan giggled.

                “You’re  _ all  _ ‘baby’ to me.” Olivia said sweetly.

                Carmelita huffed, “Ex- _ cuse  _ you! I’m no baby!”

                Quigley shrugged, “Guess am baby.” Violet cackled, “Oh, so you’re baby?”

                “Oh fuck. I’m baby.” Isadora said, causing Violet to screech with laughter.

                Brandon smiled to himself. Hopefully they wouldn’t lose their sense of humor.

* * *

 

                Lemony made his way up the icy mountain path quickly but carefully in the Snicket taxi. He wondered if Kit was doing alright. If Jacques was resting peacefully. If the Baudelaire kids would forgive their parents for the mistakes they had made.

                He thought of the fallout that would happen once they found out what went down during the night of the opera. How they would react to the parent that still lived, if they all lived to get to that point.

_                 And who was it that survived?  _ He thought.  _ How will they react to  _ **_me?_ **

                He couldn’t think about those things, now. He had to get to the Headquarters. He had to make sure that the Gruesome Twosome hadn’t made it there first.

                There was a lot on his shoulders. There was a lot on the other’s shoulders, as well.

                How anyone could try and remain positive in this situation was beyond him.

* * *

 

                Olaf sat uncomfortably between Esmé and a Kitsune. The white faced women squished somewhere near the back of the black van. The Twosome sat in front of them, both of them with one leg crossed over the other, holding their cane on their lap.

                “Once we arrive, don’t do or say anything unless we tell you to.” The man said.

                “We’ve got a plan of our own involving the Snow Scouts and a vindictive flame directive.” The woman said, grinning.

                “The Snow Scouts?” Esmé asked, “Why, I was a Snow Scout when I was young! At fourteen I was crowned False Spring Queen, you know-”

                “None of that matters at the moment, Mrs. Squalor.” The man interrupted.

                Olaf sneered, “I could have caught that little brat-”

                “You won’t be needing the girl, Olaf.” The woman sneered, “We know of your disgusting desires, and that ends here. Under our thumb, you won’t be doing what  _ you  _ want.”

                The man nodded, “We’ll be acquiring a mass amount of fortunes from across the city, then recruiting those children to the firestarting side of the schism. Two birds with one stone.”

                “We’ll let you in on the money if you behave yourself, Olaf.” The woman gave Olaf an icy stare so cold it caused the vile man to shiver with fear.

                He remained silent.  _ But that’s not what I want.  _ He thought defiantly.  _ I want to see that little girl SUFFER from under me. _

                Esmé put an elbow onto one of her knees and leaned her head onto her hand. This wasn’t what she was expecting, but as long as she got her revenge and got to see the Baudelaires burn, she could care less.

* * *

 

                “First, we’ll head for the Headquarters. Hopefully, if we get there first, it won’t be burnt to a crisp. If it is, hopefully they’ll be ok and we’ll avoid the Gruesome Twosome for now - are you even listening?” Jacquelyn said to the cru.

                The kids were currently either spacing out or nodding off. The auburn haired woman rolled her eyes and gave two loud claps, causing them to turn at attention.

                “Good, now, where was I?”

                “Getting to the Headquarters, finding who we need to find, and avoiding them for now.” Violet droned on, “Though I’d rather kill ‘em.”

                Jacquelyn rose an eyebrow, “So you  _ were  _ listening.” Violet shrugged.

                Jacquelyn blew a piece of hair from her face, “Anyways - Then we’ll make our way up to the top of the mountain to warn the Snow Scouts. Then we’ll slaughter Olaf.”

                “Sounds good enough to me.” Quigley grinned.

                “Sounds… tricky.” Duncan said nervously.

                “Who gives a shit - I want the fucker  _ dead.”  _ Violet growled, “I’ve waited this fucking long, and I’m tired of WAITING.”

                Olivia looked at her, “I know. We all are.”

                The van was now clambering up the snowy path toward the Headquarters, passing the fork.

                “Almost there, brothers and sisters! We’ll need to prepare ourselves for anything.”

                The next hour felt like an eternity. The entire crew sat silently, worriedly.

                “Can’t you go  _ any faster,  _ Bran?” Carmelita grumbled.

                “I’d rather us not go careening off the edge of the cliffs, cuz.” Brandon chuckled.

                Upward they went.

                Until they smelt something burning. 

                Or. 

                Burnt?

                “ _ No. _ ” Jacquelyn said slowly, getting up from her seat and running to the front of the van, looking out the front - 

                To see the smoldering remains of the Headquarters.


	30. The Scornful Slope [2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all downhill from here...
> 
>  
> 
> Or is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GET IN, NERDS, THE WATER'S JUST FINE.
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. ?  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. ?  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                The doors of the van slammed open as the cru scrambled out, running through what remained of the entrance, and into the destroyed Headquarters.

                “ _Son of a_ **_BITCH._ **” Jacquelyn screamed.

                “M-mom?” Klaus called out.

                Violet pushed past her brother, “DAD!?” She yelled into the smoke, then coughing.

                “MOMMA! DADDY!” Sunny called out, toddling between her elder siblings.

                “We’re… it’s…” Duncan said tearfully.

                “It’s too late. We’re too fucking late.” Quigley said through clenched teeth.

                Jacquelyn fell to her knees in the rubble, covering her face with her hands, gently sobbing. Olivia ran over to her and slid on her knees over to her, holding the woman tightly.

                “God.” Hugo said faintly, looking around, “If we’d only been… if only we’d been a little _earlier…_ ”

                “I don’t know - I think it suits the place.” Came a raspy voice.

                The cru’s heads shot up towards the direction of the voice.

                There, stepping through the rubble, was Bertrand Baudelaire, followed by Lemony Snicket and Larry Your-Waiter.

                

                Violet, Klaus, and Sunny stared at their scarred, tired looking father. He’d been supplied with a rifle and a heavy, spiked bat.

                “D- _dad-!”_ The Baudelaire children cried out, running over to their father. Bertrand gave a half smile as he knelt down to hug all of his children.

                Jacquelyn cried even harder, now, but for a different reason. A happier reason.

                Bertrand Baudelaire was alive, not fully well, but alive.

                “Took me long enough, huh?” Bertrand said gruffly. “No, no it’s-” Violet gave a muffled cry into his shoulder, “No you’re fine. You’re alive and it’s ok! We’re going to be ok. We’re not orphans. We-” Klaus nodded.

                Lemony smiled at them, and Larry made his way over to Jacquelyn,

                “You have _no idea_ how _happy_ I am to see you all again! Goodness gravy, I thought this was all going to fall apart! Once the Twosome set the place ablaze, we had to hide ourselves in the Vertical Flame Diversion - thankfully it still worked!” Larry rambled, crouching down to Jacquelyn and Olivia.

                Jacquelyn laughed weakly, “Hell, I’m surprised you all survived at all - their fires are known to be the most ruthless ones…”

                “How did you survive!?” Klaus looked at his dad in disbelief. Violet blinked at him, “Fuck, you’re scarred to hell and back… No offense.”

                “Scarred up…” Sunny said, touching his face.

                Bertrand laughed, “No worries, kids. However… your mom… I’m so sorry…” His jaw clenched.

                The Baudelaire kids each had a look of sorrow.

                “She told me to escape, find you. Get to the Headquarters to find help. But it… looks like _you_ found help.” Bertrand smiled, “I’m proud of you, kids. I knew you were smart... resourceful. I’d rather have V.F.D. be completely destroyed than you three end up in their clutches somehow.”

                “Amen to that.” Violet smirked.

                “H-how..?” Klaus repeated.

                Bertrand placed a loving hand on his son’s cheek, “Well, Kit found me. Kit Snicket. Then Larry lead me here. We’re lucky Lemony ended up being alive.”

                Klaus gave a laugh, “Oh my God - maybe our luck is finally turning, Violet!” Violet squinted at him, “Don’t jinx it, jackass. You should know better by now.”

                “Kill!! Kill!!” Sunny giggled up at her father, who looked at her,

                “You _what?”_ Bertrand asked simply.

                Violet swallowed, “Olaf is a pedophile. We’re hunting him down.”

                “He tried to kill us. And marry Violet. He kidnapped her, once. Kidnapped me, too.” Klaus explained.

                Bertrand’s eyes suddenly went cold and dark,

                “I see.”

                Violet blinked at him,

                “Y-you’re not _mad_ at us… are you?”

                Bertrand rose and lowered his brows, “It would be foolish of me to be angry with you for killing his cronies and hunting him down after what he’s done to you - revenge is never exactly the way to do things - “

                “B-but justice… justice is.” Klaus said quickly.

                Bertrand gave a small smile, “Of course. Where is that fucker?” He looked at Jacquelyn, who had gotten to her feet,

                “The bastard should be up on the peak, now. We need to move. Who knows what they’ll do to those Snow Scouts.”

                Carmelita swallowed.

                “Let’s get out of here, then.” Lemony said, “There’s nothing left for us here.”

* * *

 

                “That woman talked far too much.” Said the woman, kicking a body off the peak of the mountain. A terrified group of children in parkas huddled together in the corner on top of a tarp.

                Olaf shrugged, “I thought she could have come in handy.”

                “Don’t speak out of turn, Olaf.” The man snipped.

                The woman glowered, “No, she would not have. Useless.”

                Olaf cleared his throat. Beside him stood a very pissed off Esmé. The white faced women stood behind the two vile villains, looking between each other.

_We need to leave._

_And go where?_

_Anywhere but here. Sky’s the limit, sister._

_Perhaps you’re correct, dear sister._

_This is becoming far too much._

_Agreed._

                They nodded to each other and began to walk off, Olaf then turning around,

                “Where the _hell_ do you think _you two_ are going!?” He spat after them. Esmé rolled her eyes, “Just let the old wenches go. We don’t need them.”

                “Who else is going to do our dirty work, WITCH?” Olaf growled at her.

                “Mrs. Squalor is correct, Olaf.” Said the man. “Correct indeed. Let the useless ones scurry off.” Said the woman. The Gruesome Twosome then walked over to the group of shivering children.

                Olaf and Esmé stood frozen to their spots, more out of fear than of the chill of the mountain air.

                “Yes, they will do nicely. Are the Kitsune on the move?” The man looked from the children to the woman.

                “Yes. Soon a plethora of houses will burn, killing a plethora of parents, leaving us a plethora of orphans up for grabs - as well as a plethora of fortunes.” The woman said delightfully.

                “N-no-!” One of the children cried out.

                The Gruesome Twosome merely looked at the shaking children with horrible grins,

                “Now, now,” Said the man. “You’ll be honorary firestarters, soon!” Said the woman gleefully.

                The children began to cry pitifully, making the Twosome relish in their tears.

                “They have it easy.” Esmé rolled her eyes, “Their _years_ of experience and high status in our side of the schism gives them all the power they need to do this kind of shit. It’s ridiculous.”

                Olaf tightened is jaw, “We need to find a way to get on their good side.” He hissed through his teeth.

                “Oh, you could, Olaf.” Said the man suddenly, turning to the other two, who straightened suddenly.

                “Prove yourselves worthy, why don’t you?” The woman sneered.

                “There will be a meeting of volunteers at the Hotel Denouement in a few days - they’ll be discussing the latest… _issues_ and how to react to them.” The man informed them.

                “Yeah? So what?” Olaf grumbled like a defiant teenager.

                “We want you two to burn down the hotel, volunteers and all.” The woman smiled.

                The man nodded, “And with your luck, those plucky children will follow you all the way there.”

                “Two birds,” The woman began.

                “With one stone.” Finished the man.

                Esmé’s face twisted into a dastardly grin,

                “Oh, that will be quite a sight, won’t it, darling?”

                Olaf smiled, already forming a plot in his head, “Oh. Yes. Quite.”

                A gunshot was heard from not far behind them, whizzing between the heads of Olaf, Esmé, and the Twosome, then hitting the snowy rocks behind them, just above the group of crying children.

                Their crying then stopped as they looked past their captors,

                To a gruff looking man holding a shotgun at the ready.

                “Bertrand Baudelaire…” Olaf shook with anger. Esmé gave an angry screech, throwing her head back, “ _FUCK,_ why won’t you BaudeBITCHES _DIE ALREADY?”_

                “Good question, bitch.” Violet came, holding both her pistols. The others ran up and around her onto the peak, surrounding the villains, their weapons at the ready.

                The Gruesome Twosome smiled,

                “An excellent little party you’ve gathered, Miss Baudelaire.” The man commended her sarcastically.

                “Oh, yes, quite the band of heroes, aren’t you?” The woman smiled.

                “Too bad you’re much too late, isn’t it?” The man waved a hand to the children behind them, and the woman blew on a long whistle.

                “ _W-WAIT-!_ ” Lemony called out, recognizing the whistle as an eagle call.

                “We’ll need to be going, now.” The man said as two large eagles swooped down, screeching.

                “Yes, much to attend to, I’m sure you understand.” The woman agreed. The eagles plucked up the tarp, enveloping the now screaming children.

                The farm sibs attempted to jump for the Scouts, but a band of Kitsune jumped out from behind the rocks, knocking them backward into the snow below them, causing them to sliding back.

                “ _SON OF A BITCH-_ ” Quigley snarled, running towards Olaf and Esmé, who were now currently escaping along with the Gruesome Twosome.

                More Kitsune appeared, blocking them off from the villains.

                “WE NEED TO SPLIT UP, WE’LL COVER MORE GROUND THAT WAY-” Violet called.

                “ _WHAT?”_ Klaus yelled, trying to dodge the blows from two Kitsune.

                “VIOLET, THAT’S INSANE.” Jacquelyn screamed to her, “BUT I DON’T THINK WE HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MATTER.”

                Blood splattered onto the white snow, tainting it as the cru slaughtered masked suit after masked suit.

                “OLIVIA, LARRY, LEMONY - WE’LL GET BACK TO THE VEHICLES. THE REST OF YOU, TRY TO CUT THEM OFF DOWN THE SLOPE.” Jacquelyn ordered.

                “WE’LL COME WITH YOU!” Colette grabbed onto Hugo and Kevin.

                “COL, I NEED TO GO WITH THE KIDS.” Kevin said sternly, “VI AND QUIG NEED ME.”

                Colette looked at him a moment before letting go,

                “ _Be careful._ ”

                “ _I will.”_ Kevin reassured her before running off.

                Violet scooped up Sunny, Bertrand grabbing Violet and Klaus’s hands. The Quagmires sped over to the sloping part of the cliff, Isadora grabbing Carmelita’s hand. Brandon latched onto Kevin’s hand.

                “G-GO! JUST GO NOW, THERE ARE MORE COMING! WE DON’T HAVE TIME!” Violet called, then jumping down the slope, yanking down her father and Klaus down with her. Quigley gave a wild laugh before doing the same, dragging his siblings and Carmelita down with him. Kevin and Brandon looked at each other before slipping down with the rest.

                Duncan looked ahead at the scrawling tree branches, let go of Quigley and Isadora’s hands, and called back to Kevin. The boy pointed to his own sword.

Kevin nodded, and the two got steadily onto their feet as they all slid. They increased their speed until the two were at the front, and drew their blades.

                They then attempted to cut away any impending branches.

                “HOLY FUCK,” Violet called as she too steadied her sliding feet, crouching. Quigley, Brandon and Klaus continued to slide along the slope on their bottoms, Sunny in Klaus’s lap. The little toddler was screeching with laughter. Bertrand looked wildly about him, “I DON’T KNOW WHICH WAY THEY COULD HAVE GONE!?”

                “ _THIS FUCKING RULES!”_ Carmelita screamed, now in the same position as Violet, “ _IT’S LIKE WE’RE SKATEBOARDING BUT IT’S JUST OUR FEET ON ICE AND WE MIGHT DIE-”_

                “CARMELITA PLEASE-” Brandon called, “KEVIN, DUNCAN, BE CAREFUL-!”

                There was a fork.

                “FORK IN THE FUCKING ROAD, GAYMERS, LEAN, FUCK - UH - RIGHT. LEAN RIGHT!” Duncan screamed, “REMEMBER WHICH RIGHT _YOUR_ RIGHT IS.”

                Thankfully, they all turned right.

                “WAS THAT EVEN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!?” Klaus called.

                “PROBABLY?” Kevin yelled, unsure.

                Eventually, the slope began to even out, and the trees lessened. Kevin and Duncan lowered their blades.

                Beyond them was a wide expanse of frozen water.

                They all slid out, eventually slowing to a stop.

                Violet slowly stood up, wincing at her sore knees.

                “I don’t think we went the right way.” Klaus said hoarsely. Sunny got up from her elder brother’s lap, running over to her father, trying not to slip around on the ice too much.

                “Papa..?” Sunny asked, which meant, “ _Where are we going to go, now?”_

                Bertrand looked around at who was left,

                “...We need to get to the Hotel Denouement. Olaf will be there.”

                “And _how_ are we going to do _that?”_ Kevin squinted at the older man.

                “Well,” Quigley began, “We’re probably close enough to the-”

                The ice from under Violet began to crack, and with wide eyes, she stumbled backward. A scope burst up from the ice, and rose up, turning to her as it did so.

                Violet stepped backward, glaring at it.

                It had a V.F.D. symbol on it.

                “Who the _fuck-”_ She asked angrily. The others who had gotten to their feet stood very still. Isadora walked carefully over to Violet’s side,

                “Who..?”

                “I could ask ye the same thing! Aye!” An old voice echoed out.

                “What the fuck?” Violet mumbled, stepping carefully closer to the scope.

                The ice cracked even more from under she and Isadora, causing them both to stop cold. The top bit of a submarine burst up from the ice.

                “Shit just _keeps_ happening, huh?” Klaus groaned. Duncan and Kevin sheathed their blades.

                “It might as well happen.” Grumbled Carmelita, crossing her arms.

                “Who are ye! Aye!” The voice echoed again. 

                Bertrand glared at the scope, then walked carefully over to it, crossing his arms over the top of the sub, leaning forward,

                “Pleasantries, Widdershins.”

                “Bertrand!? Bertrand Baudelaire!? Aye! I thought ye was dead! Aye! What a wonder! Aye! Get on down here, good God this is a miracle! Aye! Fiona! Make yourself useful why don’t you!? Aye!” Widdershins rambled on as the hatch to the sub opened.

                “What the fuck is his issue?” Quigley cackled, “Aye! Aye! Aye! _AYE'm_  getting a fucking headache just listening to his dumbass!”

                “Who’s Fiona?” Violet looked at her father.

                “...His step-daughter. I think you’ll like her. She’s around your age now - two years older than you, I think?” Bertrand replied as the cru moved to enter the sub.

                “This is going to be fun.” Carmelita snipped sarcastically.


	31. The Gorey Grotto [1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cru finds themselves aboard a peculiar submarine that houses a particularly annoying man and his stubborn step-daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE  
> GIRLS  
> ARE  
> FIIIIGHTIIIIIIIIIIING~!
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. ?  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. Bertrand  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                The inside of the submarine was quite clean. It’s rustic look fit nicely against the darkness of the ocean’s waters.

                “Woah, this thing’s _huge.”_ Kevin said as he jumped down from the ladder. Klaus nodded, “I wonder who built this..?”

                “Someone of great importance to the organization! Aye! She’s been stationed at Prufrock Prep for now! Aye! She was the leader of the whole buildin’ operation! Aye!  I’ve been expecting to see her soon, however! Aye!” Widdershins said as he entered the entrance area,

                “You must be the murder lot! Aye! I’ve heard a lot about ye! Aye! Welcome to the Queequeg! Aye!”

                Violet winced each time the scruffy looking captain shouted “ _Aye!”_ and sneered, “Nice to meet you, too, Captain Widdershins, I’m assuming.”

                “Aye! Right on the money, lass! Aye! Fiona, where are ye!? Aye! Get down here ‘n’ welcome the guests! Aye!” Widdershins shouted.

                “I hate his ass already.” Carmelita muttered to Violet, who giggled.

                “Do you _really_ need to shout all the time.” A girl’s voice came, and down slid a figure on a nearby fire pole, wearing a red sailor suit and triangular glasses, “Hello. Pleasantries. I’m Fiona. Nice to finally meet the murder cru.”

                Violet’s eyes glinted, and Isadora lit up. Carmelita stared at them, “Wuh oh.”

                “Oh, you seem like a fantastic person, Fiona!” Brandon helped. Carmelita nodded, “I can tell there’ll be a lot of fun shit to watch with _you_ around.”

                Brandon nudged her.

                Widdershins laughed, “When she’s not bein’ a pain in my keister! Aye! Lemmie tell ya! Aye! Never listens to a word I say without me havin’ to near slap ‘er! Aye!”

                Violet felt anger shoot through her like a bullet,

                “I’m sorry, _what?”_

                “No time for questions! Aye! We’ve got a mission! Aye! We’ve got to retrieve those mushrooms! Aye!” Widdershins shouted as he then turned down the hallway, briskly walking off.

                Fiona rolled her eyes, “They’re not just _mushrooms,_ they’re called the _Medusoid Mycelium-”_ She gave an angry sigh, “You’ll have to excuse his dumbass. I’ve been dealing with him for years now, since my brother left and I was just a babe. Widdershits won’t even speak about him, now.”

                “Why are you guys looking for mushrooms?” Klaus asked.

                “Your brother?” Duncan squeaked.

                “Good name for the dipfuck - _Widdershits.”_ Violet said, then proceeded to cackle, Quigley doing the same.

                “AYE! What’re you fools doin’! Aye! Get your behinds in gear! Aye! We got some mushrooms to gather! Aye!” Widdershins called.

                Fiona rolled her eyes, “Again, they’re called the Medusoid Mycelium. They’re _the_ most dangerous strain of fungus ever developed by V.F.D., I’ve been dying to study them - and just my luck… apparently the _organization_ needs it for some reason.”

                Violet and Klaus looked at each other before looking to her,

                “What?” They said together

                “Like I said, V.F.D. needs us to gather the Mycelium. Widdershits won’t tell me why. I’ve been planning to get him to tell me why, and you lot could help me.” Fiona said.

                “Soooo force the bastard to talk? Sounds like my kinda game.” Violet cackled. Betrand blinked at her, “You’re more like your mother every day.”

                Violet grinned, “Thanks, pops.” She looked down the hallway that Widdershins disappeared down, “We’d better follow fuckface before he starts yelling even _louder.”_

                “If he gets any louder I’ll use one of your pistols to shoot myself, quite honestly,” Fiona grumbled as they began to enter the hallway, “I don’t know how long I’ve been living with this splitting headache.”

                “No worries, I’m sure we’ll take care of that headache real soon, sister!” Brandon smiled at her. Carmelita nodded, grinning.

                Fiona felt some comfort wash over her,

                “One can only hope.”

* * *

 

                “I can’t believe those fucking _fools_ left us all alone!” Olaf laughed loudly. Esmé looked happily at the octopus-like submarine the Gruesome Twosome had lent them,

                “Of course. Now, I _know_ they gave us this so we could get to the hotel quickly, but, we _do_ have a few days - and, well-”

                “We have a few days to hunt down those little BRATS and I can get my precious little _pet!”_ Olaf said happily.

                “ _And_ the sugar bowl, darling. Don’t forget the sugar bowl. They didn’t lose it. A band of bratty little snot-nosed children like them don’t just lose something like that-” Esmé rambled, the vile man then cutting her off,

                “Yes, yes, _yes,_ the fucking _sugah bowel_ I KNOW. Now, let’s get on this thing and get the hell out of here. Maybe we’ll find them along the shores of Briny Beach…”

                “There’s an entire ocean, chances are we’ll find them somehow, darling, if my name isn’t Gigi Gene-” Esmé began,

                “Shut it, bitch.” Olaf snarled as he began to climb into the sub. Esmé spat at him. If her saliva contained _any_ venom, surely that would have finally killed him.

* * *

 

                “Now! We’ll be needing to head to the ol lighthouse! Aye! The mushrooms are in an underground sea cave beneath it! Aye! We’ll gather some in a jar and then be off! Aye!” Widdershins shouted at them around the map table.

                Quigley was inspecting the map closely as Violet was close to nodding off. Fiona stood beside her step-father with a bored expression plastered to her face. The others either looked around the room or tried to keep up with Widdershins somehow.

                “Why’d’you need these, anyhow?” Duncan asked. Klaus nodded, “And what are they for?”

                “That’s basically the same question! Aye! They’re for a top secret reason! Aye! We need to get ‘em by the time Thursday gets here! Aye!” Widdershins rambled.

                Violet’s eyes grew wide. She then looked to her father, who’s brows had furrowed, and his face hardened,

                “The volunteers are gathering at the hotel - that means there will be firestarters as well-” He began.

                “Aye! Right on the money, Baudelaire! Aye! Just as quick witted as I remembered ye! Aye!” Widdershins interrupted.

                Bertrand clenched his jaw, shaking his head,

                “Don’t tell me you’ll be using the Mycelium on the firestarters..?”

                “Now why would I do that!? Aye!? That wouldn’t be very noble thing to do! Aye!” Widdershins looked at him in forced disbelief.

                The other members of the cru looked around confused. Fiona stepped back and gave a heavy glare toward her step-father,

                “ _You KNOW how dangerous that fucking specimen is-”_

                “MIND YOUR MOUTH, GIRL! AYE! DON’T MAKE ME SLAP YE TEN WAYS TA THURSDAY ‘GAIN! AYE!” Widdershins shouted at her. She flinched, shrinking backward. Violet gave him a cold, hard stare. Isadora quickly moved to Fiona’s side.

                “Wait, the mushrooms are _that_ dangerous?” Quigley asked. Kevin blinked quickly, “Oh, shit-?”

                "I thought I  _told_ you that." Fiona said softly. Quigley shrugged.

                Bertrand growled, “More than you understand - Widdershins, you can’t do something like this-”

                “Who said I’d be doing that!? Aye! Making an assumption makes a keister out of you ‘n’ me! Aye!” Widdershins interrupted once again.

                “It’s _ass_ actually.” Klaus said softly, causing Carmelita and Isadora to giggle.

                “If you’re not going to use it to kill people, _what then?_ ” Fiona asked, nearly bursting.

                “For research, my dear girl! Aye! I thought you might quite like that! Aye!” Widdershins replied suspiciously.

                Fiona glared at him.

                They got _some_ information, at least.

                “Whatever.” Fiona’s voice dripped with venom. She then stormed out of the room and down the hall.

                “Meeting adjourned then! Aye! It’s gettin’ late! Aye! Be ready ‘n’ early in the mornin’! Aye!” Widdershins shouted, shooing them away.

                Violet narrowed her eyes carefully at the old captain. Brandon shrugged, turning to leave.

                “Dinner?” Sunny asked. Kevin nodded, “We’d be happy to cook everyone dinner!”

                Widdershins didn’t say anything. His attention was on the map table.

                “Oooook.” The ambidextrous man mumbled. Klaus cleared his throat,

                “That’d be great, Kev! You and Sunny go to the kitchen, we’ll try and make ourselves at home.”

                “Radicool. We’ll let you guys know when it’s ready. Come on, Sunshine, let’s get to work!” Kevin smiled, picking up Sunny, who cheered.

                As the others made their way down the hallway, Violet kept her glare on the old, loud captain before turning around to follow them.

                This was all far too highly suspect for her liking.

                It was time to do some planning.

* * *

 

                Fiona stormed down the hallway to the first mate’s quarters, pulling open the door and then slamming it shut.

                Violet followed far behind, sliding down the wall quietly so the mycologist wouldn’t hear her. She heard some throwing of things, then looked through the porthole.

                A frustrated looking Fiona sat angrily on her bunk bed, flipping through what looked like a commonplace book.

                Violet opened the door,

                “We’ll need a better plan than whatever you’ve got.”

                Fiona jumped slightly at the girl’s appearance, but then gave her an irritated look,

                “Ever heard of _knocking,_ Baudelaire? And no, my current plan is _fine.”_

                Violet scoffed, smirking, “I think not, sweetheart. He’s leading you along like a worm on a string. Not to mention he’s treating you like _shit._ ”

                “I can take care of myself, _Violet,_ and - are you calling me an idiot?”

                “Maybe - and I’d rather _help_ you.”

                “Excuse _you_ bitch, but I’m no idiot.”

                “Who’s slaughtered dozens and made her way this far? Stubborn bitch.”

                “Who hasn’t killed the pedophile just yet?”

                Violet glared at her. Fiona smirked at her.

                “Now,” The mycologist looked back to her commonplace book, “If you don’t mind, I have some plotting to do.”

                Violet crossed her arms, “You’ll only get as far as you _have_. Which is fuck all nowhere.”

                “I _dare_ you to keep talking. It’s simply _the_ most entertaining thing on the _planet_ right now, love.” Fiona’s voice was mixed with vinegar and honey.

                “And I dare _you_ to keep being a _stubborn little_ **_bitch_ ** _.”_ Violet drew closer to the girl’s face.

                The girls felt a sharp spark between them.

                Fiona grit her teeth, staring into the feral inventor’s eyes,

                “I’m not _stubborn_ you _bitch,_ I’m merely doing the _safest option.”_

                “We of the murder fam know that with caution comes missed opportunities. Now - _do want to miss your’s?”_ Violet whispered. Their lips were nearly brushing each other’s.

                Fiona swallowed.

_Don’t show weakness._

                A knock on the hard, metal door came,

                “Uh… guys? Can I come in?”

                They leapt apart, seeing Quigley peeking through the porthole.

                “Y-yes.” Fiona called.

                Quigley pulled the door open, throwing a smirk in Violet’s direction,

                “The two alpha gals having a little tussle, eh?” Quigley joked, going to lean on Violet’s shoulder.

                The teens looked up at him and both replied with equal vigour,

                “ _No!!”_

                He snorted, “Mmmk, whatever you say!”

                Fiona smoothed out her uniform, “Why are you even here, map boy?”

                “His _name_ is _Quigley.”_ Violet hissed.

                “Girls, girls, _please._ The tension between you two is so thick I could cut it with one of my knives!” Quigley smiled at his own joke.

                Violet scowled at him.

                “Alriiight, _alriiiight,_ listen, I’m only here because your dad told me we need to keep a close eye on Widdershits and keep the jar away from him once we get it, kapeesh?” Quigley explained, “Your dad loves me, by the way. Fully approves of us. I told him about what I did at Heimlich. _Loved_ it. I can see where you get your tendencies from.”

                Violet blinked at him, “Of course he would approve of you, why wouldn’t he?”

                “Hello. Still here.” Fiona waved a hand between the two.

                Quigley chuckled, “Right, yeah, anyways, you heard me.”

                “Who died and made you lot the boss? This is _my_ ship, what _I_ say _goes.”_ Fiona growled.

                “I thought this was your step-dad’s sub?” Violet pushed. Fiona bit the inside of her cheek.

                “Quit with the cat fight, you two. We’ve got bigger fish to fry. Which reminds me - Kev and Sunny are makin’ chowder. And Violet, don’t come into the kitchen.” Quigley winked at his girlfriend before turning to leave.

                Violet watched him with confusion as he left. As soon as he was out of sight, Fiona grabbed ahold of the teen’s collar, pulling her back in,

                “ _We’ll be following MY plan - this is MY ship, regardless of what anyone thinks.”_ Fiona hissed.

                Violet felt her cheeks grow hot,

                “I’ve _always_ liked a challenge, sweetie.”

                Fiona glared at her before letting go of her collar, standing up, and storming out of her room.

                Violet smirked to herself while fixing her top.

* * *

 

                “So… don’t let her in here?” Klaus asked.

                “Don’t let her in here. This is a surprise for tomorrow night.” Kevin restated, “You told me that’s when her birthday is, right? tomorrow?”

                “Vrai!!” Sunny responded quickly, stirring the pot of bubbling chowder as she sat on the counter near the stove.

                “Careful, Sunshine.” Brandon helped.

                “Will be fine!” Sunny stated.

                Quigley burst into the kitchen with fervor, “The GIRLS are _FIIIGHTIIIINNG~_ ” He shouted with glee. Klaus and Brandon looked at him in confusion.

                “Huh?” The spectacled boy asked.

                “Fiona and Violet are fighting for dominance over who’s plan should be done. And clearly it’s gonna be our’s but Fiona is stubborn as _fuck,_ which is going to make for some _fantastic_ comedy, I’m sure.” Quigley explained quickly. Kevin snorted.

                Brandon looked worriedly at the boy,

                “Should we tell Bertrand?”

                “Hell no, this is more _fun.”_

                “But it could jeopardize the mission.” Klaus warned.

                “Fuck it. Whatever.” Sunny shrugged.

                Kevin made an agreeing noise.

                Quigley smiled, “The votes have been cast, my decision is more fun. Fuck you, plucky boy.”

                Klaus squinted at him, “I am not… _plucky…”_

* * *

 

                The cru, Fiona, and Widdershins stood around the map table, eating away at the chowder. Some of the cru members talked happily. Widdershins and Fiona sat silently, looking at their own plans. Violet eyed Fiona’s commonplace book and snickered quietly.

                “We should be gettin’ close to the lighthouse soon! Aye! The safest way to get into the grotto is the hatch found at the bottom of the stairs! Aye! Shouldn’t be a problem! Aye!” Widdershins said suddenly, causing Klaus and Duncan to jump.

                “We’ll need to be very, _very_ careful when gathering this specimen. It’s highly poisonous. It waxes and wanes every hour, so we’ll need to act quickly and wear protective gear on our hands and faces.” Fiona said, “If the fungus gets into your lungs, it will kill you within an hour.”

                Duncan swallowed,

                “What?”

                “You heard her! Aye! We’ll need to act quickly! Aye!” Widdershins shouted, “Now, who volunteers! Aye!”

                Klaus looked between Widdershins and Fiona,

                “Poisonous?”

                “That’s what I said, obviously.” Fiona deadpanned.

                “I could help. I’m… good with poisons.” He offered.

                “Aye! Just like yer mother! Aye!” Widdershins laughed.

                “W-wait, what?” Klaus asked, suddenly dumbfounded.

                Fiona rolled her eyes, “You’ll come with me, then.”

                “...I’m coming, too.” Violet piped up.

                Carmelita looked at her in fear, “N-no-!”

                “Carm, don’t worry.” Violet attempted to reassure the red head.

                “Fine, then. _Just don’t get in my way._ ” Fiona gave her a hard stare. Isadora blinked at her, blushing.

                Klaus was now looking between _these_ two, but for a different reason.

                Quigley leaned over to him,

                “ _Cat fiiiight~”_ He said quietly from the side of his mouth. Klaus scoffed and pushed the boy away by his face.


	32. The Gorey Grotto [2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something else lurks in the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gay shit. Widdershits is an asshole. Esmé goes off at Bitchlaf. What a chapter!
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. ?  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. Bertrand  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                “Do… you like Fiona?” Isadora asked Violet once they were in the crew’s sleeping area. They were sitting on Violet’s bunk.

                “Hell no. Hate her. ‘Irritates the shit out of me.” Violet denied, looking down at the pistol she was cleaning.

                Isadora leaned down to get a better look at her face - 

                “I can tell you’re lying to me. It’s not that hard to see.”

                Violet sputtered, “YOU like her, not _me!”_

                “And that’s true.” Isadora nodded, “See, I can admit to it, why can’t you?”

                Violet glanced at her,

                “She needs our help. Her step-father is a piece of shit.”

                Isadora sat up straight again, crossing her arms, “So you want us to kill him?”

                “Something like that. Then we won’t have to deal with his bullshit.” Violet replied, shoving a full magazine into her pistol.

                Isadora sighed,

                “I don’t feel safe with any of you going to get that specimen. I can’t lose you again.”

                “And you won’t.” Violet placed a loving hand on Isadora’s shoulder.

                “...I…” Isadora began, looking into the girl’s eyes.

                Violet leaned in and gave her a soft kiss, causing Isadora’s chest to flutter,

                “I’ll be fine. Like I’ve said… it’ll take a lot more than that to kill me, babe.”

                Isadora blinked, her cheeks pink. She nodded.

                “Isa, quit tryna steal my girl.” Quigley said, walking down the small hallway to get to his bunk above Violet’s.

                Isadora’s cheeks heated up even more in embarrassment, Violet giggling. “Don’t worry, baby, you’re my number one.” Violet looked at him.

                “Oh, _epic._ I hate sharing, though.” Quigley replied, squinting at his sister.

                “Y-you’ve _always_ hated sharing, Quigley.” Isadora said simply.

                “You’ll have to live with it.” Violet said, playfully.

                “Rule: I can take her away from you at any time. Because fuck you.” Quigley said, climbing up into his bunk.

                Isadora scoffed. Violet giggled, “I like that rule, honestly.”

                “You two are _insufferable.”_ Isadora grumbled. The two feral lovebirds giggled at her.

                “Can I share, too?” Carmelita called down from her bunk not far off.

                Violet chuckled. Quigley snorted, “Anyone else want a piece of Klaus and Sunny’s sister?”

                “KNOCK IT OFF, QUIG.” Klaus’s voice came.

                They all laughed.

* * *

 

                That night’s sleep was mostly restful. Possibly the most restful than they’ve been for quite a while. The cru and the crew (of two) got up and had a rambunctious morning routine, much to Widdershins dismay. He _hated_ disorganization, and these people were as disorganized as possible.

                “Aye! You lot need to clean up better! Aye! Quit leavin’ yer shit lyin everywhere! Aye!” The gruff captain shouted as Violet was putting her hair up. She rolled her eyes.

                Fiona cleared her throat,

                “They’re _fine -_ they’re existing like _normal humans do.”_

                Isadora giggled from beside her. Fiona glanced at her and smirked.

                “FIONA! Aye! MIND YER MOUTH! Aye!” Widdershins bellowed at her. The girl felt fear creeping up her back, but Isadora placed a careful hand around her wrist. Fiona smiled at her, feeling the fear slip away slightly.

                “Violet has a plan to take care of him.” Isadora whispered to her as the morning noise around them flew about.

                Fiona rolled her eyes, “I can _take care_ of him _myself.”_ Before pulling away from her grasp and storming to the captain’s room.

                Isadora grit her teeth in worry. Carmelita stuck her tongue out at Widdershins.

* * *

 

                “The engine on this thing is _massive_ \- those Kitsune sure know how to row, though. I swear they’re _robots_ or something.” Olaf said, entering the captain’s room later that afternoon.

                “Darling, don’t be ridiculous. _”_ Esmé said, staring at the sonar screen before her.

                “Is… that a captain’s hat?” Olaf squinted at the top of her head, then to her outfit, which was a very _glamorous_ looking captain’s uniform.

                He threw his head back in agitation.

                “I need to be fit for the part - you know this.” Esmé sneered. The vile man stepped to her side,

                “Who died and made _you_ captain, bitch?”

                “The Twosome - they think I’m more competent than you are, which quite frankly isn’t far from the truth, darling. Also you’re just **disgusting**.” Esmé replied, waving him off.

                Olaf glared at her, leaning down to her eye-level as she sat,

                “That girl is _mine-”_

                She gave a tired sigh, “Listen, you _deplorable_ **_bastard_ ** , I’ve heard that many a time. We’re after the _sugar bowl_ and we’re going to kill those little shits. _You’re_ not getting your hands on the girl. Leave your issues and _abhorred fetishes_ out of this you **filthy fuck** . Our goal is their death - our _revenge._ In _fire.”_

                Olaf felt rage engulf him,

                “ _You have NO control over-”_

                “I do, actually. I’m captain.” Esmé replied, deadpan. The disgusting bastard kept yelling obscenities at her, but she merely blocked him out, staring at the sonar, bored.

                An odd looking question mark icon came up on the screen - 

                “Wh-what is that…?” The woman said, cutting him short.

                A deafening roar was heard.

                “...The Great Unknown.” Olaf said fearfully, “Quick, turn everything off, and remain. Absolutely. Quiet.”

                Esmé did as such, and they both became deathly still.

                Something weaved around the submarine. Something huge. Long. With dark, glimmering scales covered in sea flora.

                A single, sharp, glowing yellow eye stared into one of the windows of the room.

                The two villains stared back.

                It blinked, then slowly moved away.

                Esmé glanced at the sonar - the question mark slid away, and another horribly loud roar was heard.

                “ _What the fuck was THAT!?”_ Esmé nearly screeched, flicking everything back on. Olaf put a hand to his ear, wincing,

                “Keep screaming like that, you blonde bimbo, and it’ll come _back.”_ He pointed out the window, “ _That,_ like I had SAID, _was the Great Unknown._ Nobody knows _what_ it is, where it came from, what it does or what it wants, but all we know is… it’s dangerous.”

                He glanced at the sonar,

                “And it looks like it’s gone!” He said jovially, “Now, keep looking for those brats. I know a certain someone that might have plucked them up. Every one of those _volunteers_ knew we’d all be at the Headquarters I’m sure - _but now they don’t have that shitty little place any more, now DO they?”_ He began to laugh, “ _HUH HUH, DESTRUCTION!”_

                Esmé simply stared at him for a second before turning her attention to the front again, continuing to stare at the sonar.

                “Come on, then, laugh with me!”

                “I’d rather not, dumbass.”

* * *

 

                “Aye! Didja know yer parents were some of THE most dedicated people in our organization! Aye!” Widdershins boasted beside Bertrand, who threw a glare his direction,

                “They brainwashed us into doing their bidding, and V.F.D. is nothing but a cult, and you know that well, Widdershins.” Bertrand glared, “I regret every little thing I _did_ for them.”

                The Baudelaire kids looked in confusion at their father.

                “But I don’t regret the friends I had met and made. Or the woman I had married. And I certainly don’t regret the kids I’ve gotten out of the deal.” He smiled at his children.

                Violet’s mouth twitched upward for a moment.

                “Aye! Bertrand, my boy! V.F.D. ain’t a _cult!_ Aye! It’s an organization that fights all the fires of the world, physical and metaphorical! Aye!” Widdershins said, “You had to do what was right! Aye! Who knows what that boy was going to do with that fortune if he got ahold of it! Aye!”

                “What?” Klaus asked, looking at them.

                Bertrand felt his body stiffen, “Widdershins-”

                “Ye didn’t tell ‘em, Bert!? Aye! Children, yer parents plunged Olaf into a financial pit! Aye! For the good of the world! Aye! A wicked thing, but a noble deed! Aye! It had tah happen! Aye!” Widdershins spilled.

                Fiona squinted at him, “What are you going on about!? V.F.D. has always been wicked! It’s a _cult!_ Even YOU’RE trying to brainwash _me_ to this very DAY!”

                Violet, Klaus, and Sunny stared at their father in utter confusion and surprise.

                “Dad? What did you do?” Violet asked slowly, “What did you and mom… do?”

                Widdershins grabbed Fiona by the wrist, raising her up slightly off the floor, “AYE! FIONA! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SPEAKIN’ ILL OF THE ORGANIZATION LIKE THAT!? AYE!”

                “ ** _ENOUGH-_** Widdershins, put the girl down, _Or so help me God._ Kids, I’m going to need to tell you the truth. A truth that should have been told to you before we sent you to Briny Beach in the first place, but we didn’t know how much time we had left.” Bertrand said quickly.

                Widdershins let go of Fiona, the girl backing away from him and stepping over to Violet’s side.

                “A truth?” Klaus asked.

                “Time left?” Sunny squeaked.

                “What the fuck are you talking about, dad?” Violet narrowed her eyes, “What did-”

                “We thought we were doing the right thing.” Bertrand said, his voice cracked, “Because we were kids, like you, and we were just doing what the _adults_ said was the right thing to do.”

                Klaus arched his brows in worry. Sunny touched her father’s hand gently.

                “But that will never excuse what we did. All because we _thought_ it was the right thing.” Bertrand breathed,

                “It wasn’t.”


	33. The Gorey Grotto [3]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the truth comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIONA'S IN THE CRU NOW AYYYY
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. ?  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. Bertrand  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                “Is the door closed?” Bertrand said, “Locked?”

                “Yeah. 'Should keep Widdershits out.” Violet said carefully.

                “W-why do- why am I here?” Fiona asked, flustered.

                “You need to know how V.F.D. actually worked - and, well, really,  _ still  _ works.” Bertrand sighed, “What your mother and I did was not necessary or noble, kids.” He looked to the three Baudelaires.

                “Stop beating around the fucking bush and just tell us what you  _ did.”  _ Klaus hissed.

                He clenched his jaw,

                “Do you remember the things you saw about the opera?”

                “Yeah, the poster, how you guys always said it was a remarkable opera, and that night changed everything for you,” Violet rambled, “...Oh.”

                Bertrand nodded, then took in a deep breath,

                “That night, after your mother had finished her performance… we killed Olaf’s parents. With poison darts. She then stole the sugar bowl from Esmé.”

                Violet felt something leave her. Her soul? Her emotions?

                Klaus’s hearing left him for a minute, only a faint ringing in his ears. Poison darts?  _ Killed? _

                Sunny sat on the map table, utterly confused.

                Fiona’s eyes widened, her heart felt like it was going to completely stop.

                “There’s no excusing this. No excusing your mother and I’s actions. V.F.D. told us that it was the only thing we could do to keep the organization from falling apart. We don’t know why they told us that, because it’s falling apart as we _speak_.” Bertrand continued after a minute or two.

                Violet swallowed, “The schism.”

                “Y-you… you guys killed his… his parents?” Klaus shivered, “With… poison… darts?”

                Bertrand held back tears, nodding.

                “Cult.” Sunny said softly, which meant, “ _ So they tricked you? Into thinking it was ok to do this? For the good of the world?” _

                Bertrand sighed, “Yes. We were all in our late teens. So much potential. All dashed when they started to shove stupid ideas into our heads.”

                Klaus felt hot tears roll down his face, “This isn’t true, that’s not - this can’t be true.”

                Violet threw her head back in frustration, “That’s why they hate us so much. That’s why they want revenge.” She then stared straight ahead, not looking at anything in particular, “But that doesn’t mean he had to resort to murder  _ himself!  _ Or trying to  _ rape  _ me!  _ OR TRY TO KILL MY SIBLINGS OR-” _

                Fiona placed a caring hand on the screaming girl’s shoulder, “Pedophiles and abusers don’t exactly know where to draw a line.”

                Bertrand placed his head in his hands, resting his elbows on the table, “I’m so,  _ so _ sorry for this. For  _ all  _ of this. It’s why we left V.F.D. in the first place. It’s why we wanted to protect you. Keep you away from the evils of the world.”

                “It ended up coming to find us.” Klaus muttered, “The dominoes fell, and our world came tumbling down.”

                “Passé.” Sunny said, looking at her father, which meant, “ _It’s all in the past, now. What’s done has been done._ ”

                “S-she’s right.” Klaus said, wiping away his tears, “Now there’s only one thing left to do.”

                “ **Fucking kill him.** ” Violet hissed through her teeth, “If he thinks we’re going to have a _‘change of heart’_ after hearing this he’s fucking  _ wrong.” _

                “He was probably planning to tell us when we’d finally cornered him or someshit.” Klaus growled, “Like some sort of fucking pansy. 'Thinking he has the high ground.”

                Bertrand looked at his children, perplexed, “You’re - you forgive us?”

                “Why wouldn’t we? Clearly, it was a bad thing, but you were brainwashed for one, and two, you’ve confessed to your sins.” Violet shrugged.

                Fiona nodded, “I’m sure you’re too far along to stop now, anyhow.”

                “No idea.” Sunny rolled her little eyes, which meant, “ _ You have no fuckin’ idea, sister.” _

                “Does that mean Olaf once had a fortune?” Klaus asked.

                “Yes. They… V.F.D. gave it… to us. They took some as well, but our… fortune isn’t ours.” Bertrand squeezed his eyes shut.

                “Well, fuckin’ shit.” Violet sighed, “He could’ve gone an entirely different route instead of becoming a pedophile, an abuser, and a bastard.”

                “Anything else?” Klaus asked his father, crossing his arms and laying them on the table.

                “Kit Snicket slipped us the box of poison darts.” Bertrand noted.

                “Does Lemony know this?” Violet asked.

                “Yes. He’s not proud of it, either.”

                Klaus smirked, “I can see why he faked his death, now. A little much, but if that doesn’t get V.F.D. and whoever else to leave you the fuck alone, then what the fuck else will?”

                “Good point.” Sunny chirped.

                “This is all. Like.  _ Super heavy.  _ But, well, I’m glad you told us.” Violet sighed, sinking into her seat.

                “I still feel terribly guilty, but I’ll probably feel that way until the day I die.” Bertrand grumbled.

                “Don’t worry about it, pops. I said what I said - we just need to deliver Bitchlaf to justice. Doesn’t matter what happened to him now that he’s been a disgusting son of a bitch.” Violet remarked.

                Sunny nodded, “Coulda done better.”

                Bertrand gave a deep sigh,

                “Of course.”

* * *

 

                “Aye! We’re nearin’ the lighthouse now, lot! Aye! Get ready to surface! Aye! Klaus, Violet, Fiona! Aye! Get yer keisters in gear! Aye!” Widdershins shouted over the noise of the rambunctious kids.

                “Do you… need to do this?” Bertrand asked, “I could go in your stead. I don’t want to risk losing any of you. Not again.”

                Violet and Klaus looked at each other,

                “We know what we’re about, dad.” Violet said. Klaus nodded, “I’ve found the irony in my weapons. I’m trying to come to terms with it by doing this. I think.” The boy swallowed.

                Fiona laughed, “Don’t worry about it, Mr. Baudelaire. I know all types of fungus like the back of my hand. Besides, nothing will go awry, don’t even worry about it.”

                “Please,” Bertrand said, putting his hand on her shoulder, “Call me Bertrand - I still feel… uneasy about this.”

                “‘Not goin’ back on this one, dad.” Violet said defiantly.

                Bertrand sighed, “Ever your mother, aren’t you Ed?”

                “Always will be as stubborn as a mule.” Violet grinned.

                Fiona smiled at them as Bertrand removed his hand to ruffle Violet’s hair.

                “I’ll be needing to change. I feel a bit out of place among you lot. I’ll be back.” Fiona said. Violet looked at her,

                “Anything would be better than that sailor suit. It looks ridiculous.”

                Fiona narrowed her eyes as she smiled,

                “My thoughts exactly, Baudelaire.”

                “Aye! Kevin! Quit messin’ with the wheel! Aye! Where’s Fiona gone! I need to talk with her! Aye! Somebody get me a jar! Aye! Any ol jar will do! Aye! Quick ‘n’ fast! Aye! Hurry up, now! Aye!” Widdershins shouted.

                Everyone else either rolled their eyes or flinched every time the man said “ _ Aye!”. _

                Fiona disappeared down one of the hallways.

                Duncan moved past them with a jar from the kitchen. Isadora came up to Violet and handed her three of her own face masks, telling them to be careful.

                “We’ll try.” Violet smiled at her. Quigley ran over to her and hugged her from behind, causing her to yelp, “IF YOU DIE I’LL KILL YOU.” He yelled, teasing.

                “Can’t kill what’s already dead.” Violet said, trying to break from his grasp, laughing.

                Quigley snorted, holding her tighter, “I’ll find your ghost and shoot you with the  _ Camera Obscura, _ bitch!” Violet giggled. Klaus rolled his eyes, and Sunny toddled away making barfing noises.

                “Don’t strangle my daughter now, Quagmire.” Bertrand chuckled.

                Quigley grinned at him, “'Wouldn’t do that for the world, Bert.”

                “I’ll end up strangling him FIRST!” Violet yelped, slipping out of her boyfriend’s grasp and then standing up by her father’s side, “Stinky little man!”

                “Hey, I stinky  _ good,  _ mind you.” Quigley glared at her, smiling.

                Carmelita walked carefully up to Violet,

                “Please… don’t go.”

                Violet sighed,

                “Little red, please. I’ll be  _ fine.  _ It’s going to be fine.” She said as she held Carmelita’s face tenderly. Carmelita made a stubborn face, “But-!”

                “No buts.”

                Carmelita pulled away from Violet’s hands and stalked away. Violet watched her as she left, chuckling.

* * *

 

                The closer their destination got, the more antsy the team became. Kevin paced back and forth in one of the hallways.

                “Kev, babe, listen, it’s going to be fine -  _ they’re _ going to be fine.” Brandon tried to reassure him.

                “Hugo is an absolute mess without me, you have no idea. And Colette can’t make as much chaos without me.”

                Brandon blinked at him. He didn’t think that was  _ entirely  _ untrue, but, hey. Whatever.

                “What if I go in Violet’s place? What if can convince her not to go?” Kevin rambled.

                “‘Sister is stubborn, sweetheart. She’ll be going no matter what  _ anyone  _ says.” Brandon reminded him. Or tried to, anyways.

                “I won’t forgive myself if something happens to her.” Kevin continued to pace. Brandon blew air between his lips in frustration.

                Meanwhile, in the captain’s room, Widdershins saw something very… peculiar.

                “Aye! That’s an octopus-shaped whatsit on the sonar! Aye! Definitely not good news! Aye!”

                “...Do you know what it is..?” Bertrand asked. Violet squinted at it.

                “Aye! One of the firestarters blasted subs! Aye! All hands on deck! Aye! Prepare for a bit of a bumpy ride! Aye! I’m gonna shake ‘em off our tail! Aye!” Widdershins shouted.

                Violet’s eyes widened as she immediately took off.

                “Violet, where are you going!?” Bertrand shouted.

                “ _ Be right back!”  _ Violet shouted.

                Bertrand turned to Widdershins,

                “We can easily meet them head on. We have the firepower.”

                “This ain’t a battleship, Bert! Aye! Ye nuts!? Aye!”

                “No, I meant on board. We’ll destroy them. Now.” Bertrand began to fume.

                “Aye! Not takin’ any chances! Aye!” Widdershins yelled, “Full speed ahead!! Aye!!”

                Bertrand grumbled.

                Fiona walked into the captain’s room adorned in her new garb, a sharp spear trident strapped to her back. Klaus stepped back slightly.

                “Of course. Full speed ahead.” Fiona agreed suspiciously.

                “Fiona, what-” Klaus began.

                “ _ Play along.”  _ The girl adjusted her triangular frames.

                Klaus merely nodded.

                “Aye! We’re almost there! Aye! At the lighthouse! Aye!” Widdershins shouted.

                The octopus icon on the sonar began to slide off.

                Bertrand’s breathing hitched.

                “Mmk I’m back. Not that Widdershits cares. Hot outfit, Fi. Welcome to the cru.” Violet said, walking in. She had her moon purse from her disguise on Dark Avenue with her. Vernal poked their head out. Fiona smiled at her.

                “Where were you keeping that? And why do you have it?” Klaus asked, confused as all hell. Fiona blinked, "Is that a fucking cobra?"

                “In my satchel. Clearly. ‘Sugar bowl’s in here. I wanna see the look on her face when I-” Violet began to cackle.

                Bertrand stopped,

                “The sugar bowl-!?” He said fearfully, “Why do you have it!?”

                Widdershins turned, “AYE! THE SUGAR BOWL! AYE! Violet, ye wee lass, ye gorgeous genius, you! Aye! Fiona, why don’t ye be more like precious Violet here!? Aye! And what are ye wearin’, lass!? Aye! Ye look ridiculous! Aye!”

                “We’ll be using it against her.” Violet grinned deviously to her father, ignoring Widdershins. Bertrand swallowed,

                “Violet, please. Just. Destroy that thing, now.”

                “Nah. It’ll help. ‘Promise.” She giggled. Bertrand shook his head at his daughter, then glared directly at Widdershins.

                “Shut up.” Fiona said to Widdershins, then stepping to Bertrand’s side.

                “Please don’t… call my daughter those things.” Bertrand stared the captain down, “You should treat your own daughter far better than what you have been.”

                “Aye! She’s  _ not  _ MY daughter! Aye! She’s simply a product of another! Aye!” Widdershins said matter-of-factly.

                Fiona felt as if she was going to cry.

                “WIDDERSHINS, THAT IS  _ QUITE ENOUGH.”  _ Bertrand bellowed. Violet looked between the two adults with wide eyes. Klaus swallowed hard. Fiona grabbed onto Bertrand’s sleeve.

                Widdershins huffed and looked back to the sonar, “Aye! Better note, then! Aye! We’re upon the lighthouse! Aye!”

                Fiona swallowed her sadness to prepare for what was to come. Just like every other day.

                Violet looked to her brother, slipping the bowl back into her purse.

                “You’ve got a plan, don’t you?” Klaus asked her, seeing Vernal pull the zipper shut.

                Violet smiled,

                “Don’t I always?”


	34. The Gorey Grotto [4]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some plans just don't end up going the way they should...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vi's all choked up.
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. Fiona  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. Bertrand  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                Violet, Klaus, and Fiona stood near the exit hatch of the submarine, wearing facemasks and gloves. The others stood nearby, awaiting their eventual departure.

                “Aye! Surfacin’ now! Aye! Get those mushrooms ‘n’ get back in here! Aye! Before them firestarters come up on our tails! Aye!” Widdershins shouted over the intercom.

                “Does he not care about us?” Klaus asked from behind his mask. Fiona shook her head,

                “He never cared about me, either.”

                Violet gave her a sorrowful look as the submarine began to rise out of the water.

                Bertrand knelt down to Fiona’s level,

                “Listen, you’re one of us, now. You can come with us. Leave this damned submarine and that bastard behind. How does that sound?” He smiled warmly.

                Fiona gave a small smile,

                “That sounds perfect, actually.”

                “Fuck yeah, more friends!!” Quigley shouted. Isadora stepped over to Fiona,

                “I hope my mask is of use to you, Fi.” She said shyly. Fiona smiled at her, “I bet it will be, Izzie.”

                “P-please… come back safe. To me.” Isadora said, then became flustered upon realizing what she had said, “Ah- I mean-! To us-!”

                Fiona laughed, pulled her own face mask down, and placed a kiss on Isadora’s forehead,

                “Don’t worry, little poet. I’ll be back for ya in no time. Mushrooms and all.”

                Isadora felt her face catch fire as Fiona replaced the mask. All the poet could do is nod, then quickly stepped back over by Quigley.

                “You havin’ fun, Isa?” The boy teased. She glared at him. If looks could kill.

                The submarine had completely surfaced by now, right next to the lighthouse.

                “AYE! Get yer asses movin’! Aye!” Widdershins called forcefully.

                “We’re GOING you ASSHOLE.” Violet shouted. Klaus rolled his eyes.

                Quigley went up to Violet,

                “Don’t be gone too long. And don’t die.” Quigley smiled.

                “I’ll try not to.” Violet giggled.

                Duncan ran up to Klaus, staring into his eyes,

                “Uhm- uh- uh-! For luck!” He yelped, before pulling down Klaus’s face mask and kissing the spectacled boy square on the lips.

                Klaus was dazed and flushed when the shy boy pulled back. Violet snorted. Bertrand blinked at them.

                “Oh, right, forgot to tell you. Bookworm’s a big gay bitch.” Violet said to their father.

                “That’s fine by me. I’m only disappointed that they both seem to be shaky little leaves.” Bertrand said jokingly.

                “Dad. If I was still a wimp I wouldn’t be doing this.” Klaus argued.

                “Now, I never said you were a wimp, son.” Bertrand smiled at him. Klaus rolled his eyes.

                “We should be going, now.” Fiona announced.

                Violet and Klaus looked at each other.

                “Right.”

                Quigley and Duncan stepped back as Fiona began to climb up the ladder. Klaus smiled at Duncan before replacing his mask. Duncan blushed at him and waved.

                Quigley snorted, “Ha.  _ Gay~!”  _ Duncan slugged his brother in the arm, “Shut up, asshole!” 

                Quigley cackled.

                “Careful.” Sunny called, worried.

                Carmelita stood there with her arms crossed, watching them go up the ladder. Brandon and Kevin watched on in worried silence.

* * *

 

                The air was humid, and to their surprise, some of Isadora’s crows had perched on the ruins of a burned town lighthouse.

                “What do you think happened here?” Violet asked as they climbed the rocks.

                “Clearly V.F.D. somehow, some way.” Klaus answered.

                “Apparently my brother tried to destroy the Mycelium by burning down the lighthouse - which also served as a place of research.” Fiona recalled reluctantly.

                “You never did tell us about your brother…” Klaus tried.

                “I never got the chance to.” Fiona answered.

                “Well then,” Violet said, getting to the lighthouse, “Since we’ve got the time… tell us about him.”

                Fiona sighed, clambering up to her, “His name was Fernald.”

                “Fernald?” Klaus asked.

                “Yes. He was… he helped Widdershins for a while. Here, actually.” Fiona said, looking around as Klaus finally caught up,

                “He… didn’t agree with what the organization wanted to do with the Mycelium.”

                “What did… they want to do with it?” Klaus asked, coming to Violet’s side.

                “The volunteers wanted to use it to ‘get rid of’ the firestarter side of the schism.” Fiona answered quickly.

                Violet and Klaus stood silently.

                “Yikes. Ok.” Violet finally said against the softly blowing winds.

                “Anyways,” Fiona said, “We’ll be needing to get to work quickly… before the fungus moves upwards.”

                They all moved to the remnants of the lighthouse, and as Widdershins had said, there was a large, round, metal trap door at the bottom of the iron stairs.

                Klaus and Violet moved over to it, opening it. A gust of salty, dank air blew upwards, causing them to make disgusted faces.

                “I didn’t say that it would smell nice.” Fiona chuckled. She then knelt down to descend into the grotto.

                However, a sudden, horribly wicked woman’s voice came from behind a dilapidated wall,

                “Hello,  _ orphans.” _

                The three kids whipped their heads around to the voice. Out stepped Esmé Squalor, to which Violet and Klaus responded with annoyed grumbles.

                “Let me guess? The _sugared bowel?_ Is that what you want?” Violet snarled, pulling her mask down.

                “YES you little SHIT,  _ NOW GIVE ME IT AND I **MIGHT** SPARE YOUR LIVES.” _

                Fiona’s eyebrows arched,

                “Y-you’re Esmé, right?”

                “In the flesh, darling. Let me guess, Widdershins tell you about me?” Esmé grinned, “I’m not surprised. Old fuckbag has always been jealous of my money.”

                Fiona swallowed.

                Violet grabbed Klaus’s shoulder, “I’m going down. I have the bowl. Chase her off, kill her, I don’t care what you do.”

                Klaus stared wide-eyed at her, “N-no!?”

                “ _ Shut up asshole, just do it. _ ” Violet hissed at him as she moved down the steps to the grotto. Fiona looked from Esmé (Who was now watching Violet move downward.) to Violet, “Violet,  _ no-!” _

                “YOU LITTLE SHIT-!” Esmé began to advance, but Fiona pulled her spear, and Klaus a couple of darts. They pointed their weapons at her.

                “Is that a fucking spear?” Esmé glared.

                “Spear trident, yes. I will not hesitate to  _ impale _ you if I must.” Fiona said, staring her down carefully. Klaus swallowed, looking from his darts to Esmé.

                The blonde’s eyes then moved to Klaus,

                And she gave a slow, wicked little laugh.

                “Klaus, darling, following in your mother’s footsteps, are we?”

                The boy didn’t move.

                “How ironic would it be if you killed Olaf with one of those?” She grinned, “Or  _ me  _ even?”

                He grit his teeth.

                “Eh, what? Go on then, I’ll even give you a chance right here. I won’t pull anything on you two, assuming I  _ did  _ bring a weapon - which I did, by the way. Just letting you know.”

                “ _ Who has the jar.”  _ Fiona whispered to Klaus.

                He didn’t reply; He was too busy with his moral confliction. She huffed.

                Down below, Violet looked at the trash-filled grotto from the steps while carefully listening to the above confrontation.

_                 Huh.  _ She thought.  _ ‘Must be where all people’s lost things go when they’re carried away by the currents. Interesting. _

                She spotted the Mycelium not far off.

_                 Ah, shit, Klaus has the jar. Hm. _

                She looked down at her purse,

_                 Should I just go back up and taunt her with it? _

                She bit her lip,

_                 No that would just. Give her a chance to nab it. Fuck that. _

                She snorted.

                For a second, she thought she saw the fungus begin to move.

_                 Uh? _

                Back on the surface, Esmé was still going on, Klaus staring at her. Fiona looked between them, not wanting to make any sudden moves, which could mean death if she did so.

                “Go on then, bookworm.  _ Throw it. _ ” The woman gestured to one of the darts in Klaus’s hand. He looked at it.

                “I-I’m not afraid of you.”

                Esmé laughed darkly,

                “Is it  _ me  _ you’re afraid of, or  _ yourself,  _ darling?

                Fiona squinted at her.

                “Don’t you want to know why I’m saying these things?” Esmé grinned at him.

                “Dad already told me. He told me everything.” Klaus said, “He told me how awful they felt about it.”

                Esmé rolled her eyes, “And here I was thinking I could taunt you with the information - ‘Course you’d get it out of him like that. He never was good at keeping secrets."

                “We also know what’s in the sugar bowl.” Klaus said.

                Esmé blinked,

                “You looked in it? Were you surprised? _Great._ Now give it  _ back.” _

                “No.” Fiona glared, “We’re ending this once and for all. This trophy doesn’t need to be in anyone’s hands. Wench.”

                Esmé laughed, “Like you even understand, triangle eyes.”

                Back in the grotto, the fungus was definitely moving, but Violet didn’t exactly know what to do.

                She felt fear overtake her as she fumbled for the walkie talkie in her dress pocket,

                “Esmé i-is here.”

                There was some crackling before Carmelita’s voice came through,

                “I’ll send Duncan and Isadora.” She said plainly.

                The fungus was definitely moving.

                And back to the surface-

                “Just give me the sugar bowl and surrender yourselves. We’ll make everything as  _ painless  _ as possible - captain’s word.” Esmé gave a toothy grin.

_                 She’s insane.  _ Fiona looked at the blonde.

                Then it hit her. The fungus was going to be on the move, now.

                “Oh my God, Klaus - the-the  _ fungus,  _ it’s-” Fiona stuttered at Klaus in fear.

                Klaus’s eyes widened, not wanting to take his gaze off of Esmé,

                “We need to do something. Now.”

                “What’s this about fungus? The Mycelium?” Esmé’s eyes raised, “Oh, don’t tell me you were getting some to use on  _ us,  _ Klaus?”

                “You really don’t  _ get  _ it, do you, bitch?” Klaus growled suddenly.

                Suddenly, a blade flew from behind Esmé, grazing her arm, slicing it, then stabbing into the ground before the kids. Esmé let out a screech of pain before grabbing her arm.

                Duncan and Isadora ran over, Duncan nabbing his blade. Isadora whipped her chains around the insane blonde, keeping her from escaping.

                “ **_YOU LITTLE FUCKING BRATS. FUCK - FUCK THAT HURTS.”_ **

                “TELL VIOLET TO GET OUT OF THERE,  _ NOW!!”  _ Isadora cried.

                Fiona was already lifting up the trap door, yelling Violet’s name. Klaus saw Violet’s hand weakly come up, and he quickly grabbed it, pulling her up, Fiona letting the door slam shut.

                Before it shut, she caught a glimpse of the fungus. It had moved fast, and almost made its way out of the grotto, climbing up the stairs.

                “Violet - oh my God,  _ Violet,  _ are you ok? Holy shit,” Klaus said, trying to examine her.

                Her skin was very, very pale. Her mask was down.

                “V-Violet?”

                She coughed, “G-get back to-” She wheezed, “Back- the… the ship-”

                A heavy wave of fear came crashing over the kids.

                Esmé stared at the sickly girl with the most demented grin anyone could ever imagine.


	35. The Gorey Grotto [5]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cru takes the meaning of "a watery grave" to a heightened level.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot happening, here.
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. Fiona  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. Bertrand  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                “GO, GO, GO! _NOW!_ **_FUCK!_ ** _”_ Fiona screamed, Isadora and Duncan looked at Esmé.

                “Take her.” Klaus said angrily, “Taker her as a hostage.”

                The Quagmires nodded.

                Fiona and Klaus helped Violet up and into the submarine, the poor girl hacking up a lung all the while.

                As they entered, various other members of the present cru began to panic. Bertrand grabbed her, scooping her up in his arms,

                “God -  _ what did I say?  _ What did I fucking  _ say!?”  _ He cried.

                “It would have gone well if that STUPID BITCH didn’t SHOW UP.” Klaus roared.

                “W-who? Isa and Dunc just left without telling us what was up-” Quigley asked.

                There was a loud thunk behind them. They all turned around, and there, lying at the bottom of the ladder, was a chained up and bloody-armed Esmé. Her eyes were wild, a huge grin plastered to her face. Her hair had fallen in a mess around her face,

                “ _ So pleasant to see you again,  _ **_Bertie._ ** ” The insane woman cackled.

                The others stared at her in abject horror.

                “ _Look what you’ve become._ ” Bertrand said softly. Isadora and Duncan climbed down the ladder, jumping down beside the woman. Widdershins came running down the hall,

                “AYE! Did ye get the fungus!? Aye! What’re ye all doin’, standin ‘round here!? AYE! You-” The captain stopped short, seeing an ill Violet and a very feral dame.

                “Take ‘er to the brig.” Widdershins said simply, motioning to Esmé. He then stalked off back to the captain’s room.

                Isadora and Duncan dragged the woman away, Fiona quickly giving them directions to the brig area. The mycologist then ran over to Bertrand and Violet. Quigley was in pieces, grabbing at Violet’s hands and sobbing. Klaus was in a mist of panic, confusion, and self-doubt. Sunny was a mess, hopping up and down around her father’s legs, trying to see her older sister.

                Brandon and Kevin were freaking out. Carmelita was screaming something about her being right, and this should have never happened, and it was this person’s fault and this person’s fault or even this person’s fault.

                Esmé relished in the chaos as she was dragged away by two of the Quagmire triplets.

* * *

 

                Fiona lead Bertrand down the hallway - 

                “We need to get to the kitchen - find some horseradish. That’s what cures this. I’m sure we have some - it’ll work right away,  _ I’m so fucking sorry, Bertrand -  _ D-don’t worry! It’ll -  _ Violet, please, don’t force yourself, love. _ ” The poor mycologist rambled in pained fear and panic. Bertrand repeated he knew. He knew, he knew, he knew.

                They ran into the kitchen, Quigley pushing off everything that sat on the counter, Bertrand placing Violet down. The ailing girl laid her head on Quigley’s shoulder as he held her up.

                It felt like something was trying to suffocate her. It was getting harder to breath. Her throat felt fuzzy. It felt tight. Her lungs were burning. Her lungs needed air. Her throat. Her throat itched. It itched and it hurt  _ so badly. _

                Quigley was whispering things to her through his tears. Something about it’s going to be ok or whatever. She looked around in a daze, her chest barely moving.

                The others were running about, yelling at each other. In pieces. Fiona and Bertrand quickly looking through the cabinets, shelves, counters.

                Fiona opened the fridge, shoving things around, getting hopeless - 

                The cake. The cake for Violet’s birthday.

_                 Today’s her birthday. _

                They’d forgotten in the midst of this mess.

                 _We- this can't- she can't die on her birthday._

                Sunny and Carmelita were worried the most about it.

                Fiona held back a sob, slamming the fridge door shut,

                “I can’t. I can’t find any horseradish.” She said.

                Bertrand put his head in his hands. The others began to panic even more.

_                 So this is how it’s going to end, huh?  _ Violet thought faintly, clenching her teeth at the pain, forcing coughs,  _ I didn’t even get to kill the fucker. _

                “Substitute.” Sunny said suddenly.

                Quigley looked down at her,

                “W-what?”

                “Substitute with wasabi.” Sunny explained.

                Bertrand slapped his forehead, “God, you’re right, Sunshine! I’d almost forgotten - Fiona, quickly-!”

                Fiona nodded before they ran to one of the cabinets.

                Fiona opened it up, and there sat several fresh jars of wasabi.

                “Thank GOD.” Klaus yelled. Quigley held Violet’s head carefully, “Don’t worry, baby, it’ll all be over, soon. You’re gonna be ok, ok?”

                Violet was very out of it.

                Bertrand took one of the jars, Fiona found a spoon. He took it and opened the jar quickly, shoving the spoon in,

                “Now, this will taste terrible, but bear with me, Ed.” He said before placing the spoon into Violet’s mouth.

                She made a face before swallowing the green substance, it burning her mouth and throat, but, suddenly, she was able to breathe just fine, again.

                She sputtered a bit before sitting up by herself.

                The cru stared at her.

                “Well that plan fucking sucked, huh?” Violet cleared her throat, “Shit’s spicy.”

                They all cheered, and piled onto the feral teen. Violet laughed, “You guys are gonna smother me - seriously! If it won’t be the Mycelium, it’ll be you guys!”

                After a few minutes of relief and thankfulness, Widdershins walked in,

                “If ye are all done, then, I’ll be needin’ those mushrooms, now.”

                They all turned to look at him.

                Fiona grit her teeth,

                “Violet. Almost.  _ Died.” _

                “Aye, and what of it?”

                The mycologist felt her blood boil,

                “We didn’t get the fucking Mycelium because of Esmé. And we won’t be getting it, now.”

                Widdershins glared at her,

                “Aye? The wench is in the brig now. Aye. We won’t be needin’ ta worry about her now. Aye. You lot go back up there ‘n’ get the mushrooms. Aye.”

                “No.” Fiona said, walking over to him.

                Widdershins’ face turned red,

 

                “AYE! FIONA, YOU USELESS LITTLE SHIT! AYE! JUST AS USELESS AS YOUR FUCKIN’ BROTHER! AYE! YE NEVER DO AS YER TOLD, AND WHEN YE ACTUALLY DO IT, IT’S HALFWAY ‘N’ HALF ASSED! AYE! I SHOULDA NEVER TOOK YE TWO IN AFTER YER MOTHER WENT ‘N’ GONE!! AYE! FUCKIN’ BITCH YE ARE, JUST AS YER DAMN MOTHER WAS-”

 

                While he screamed at her, the other members of the cru began to pull their weapons, glaring at him.

                But,

                In one swift motion,

                Fiona grabbed her spear from her back,

                And-

 

_                  **SHLK** _

 

                Widdershins stopped and looked down at his chest, seeing his step-daughter had impaled him.

 

                “You never did shut up.” Fiona sneered.

 

                He looked at her, his eyes filled with regret and anger. Fiona then pulled the spear from his chest, and he collapsed onto the floor. Dead.

                Blood began to pool around his body.

                Violet blinked at her,

                “Ding, dong, Widdershits is dead.”

                Quigley snorted. Isadora ran over to Fiona,

                “Are you… ok?”

                Fiona turned to her, pulled the poet’s mask down, and planted a kiss onto her lips. Violet raised an eyebrow, smirking. Sunny rolled her eyes, face planting into her father’s legs.

                The two teens pulled apart, Isadora’s face bright red. Fiona smiled and turned to the rest of the cru,

                “Look at me.  _ I  _ am the captain, now.”

                Violet and Quigley laughed out loud. Klaus blinked at her.

                Duncan shrugged, “Well, that’s one way to do it.”

                Bertrand let out a long sigh,

                “At least we won’t have to deal with his shit any more, yeah? Alright, let’s get this body off the ship and get to the hotel. We don’t have a lot of time.”

                “Agreed. Kevin, Brandon, you two go ahead and take care of that.” Fiona began, “Quigley, Isadora, come with me to the captain’s room so we can map out our course. Violet, Klaus, do you mind checking up on the blonde bimbo? Afterward we'll need to see if we can get a hold of the other members of the cru on someone's walkie talkie.”

                Isadora blinked, “Why do you need me with you..?”

                “Because I love you. Next question.” Fiona said simply, making the poet blush.

                “...I don’t know.” Klaus answered. Violet rolled her eyes, “Come on, then. Let’s go see how the bitch is holding up. Carm, come with me. We might need some backup.”

                Carmelita giggled delightfully before picking up her bat and following them out of the kitchen.

                “Welp, time to take care of Shitterbitch.” Kevin said, walking over to the body. Brandon grumbled, “What a  _ mess.  _ We could have at least chased him to a better area and  _ then  _ killed him - this is a _kitchen_ , not a morgue.”

                “Morgue shmorgue, dude was gonna die by Fi’s hands somehow - let’s dump his ass into the sea!” Kevin cheered. Brandon chuckled.

                “...Bertrand can you help me clean up the blood?” Duncan asked, staring at the couple dragging away Widdershins lifeless body, leaving a hefty trail of blood.

                Bertrand laughed, “Of course.”

* * *

 

                Violet, Klaus, and Carmelita made their way to the brig, which was oddly void of any crazed screaming.

                Honestly, they thought they would’ve heard something out of her, but she’d been silent.

                Violet explained that she managed to shove some of the Mycelium into the sugar bowl. Klaus was shocked and confused. Carmelita squealed at her in loving delight.

                They stopped in front of the heavy, tightly locked door that held the insane blonde. Violet and Klaus peeked into the porthole to see her still in chains, sitting on the floor, slouched over.

                “D’you think she’s… crying?” Klaus asked carefully.

                Violet scoffed, “Hell no. Not that bitch.”

                Carmelita gripped her bat, “Let’s just get this over with.”

                Violet hummed. 

                “Why haven’t you told anyone else what you did?” Klaus asked his sister.

                Violet turned to look at him, rolling her eyes, “I wasn’t going to have several people jump down my throat - I’ll let that happen after the deed is done.”

                Carmelita giggled. Klaus sighed.

                “She might’ve kept Bastard Man from touching me back at the hospital, but that doesn’t erase the fact that she wants me dead by her hands.” Violet said, handing them facemasks.

                “ _ What?”  _ Klaus asked, “ _ She _ kept him from doing anything?”

                “She has standards, Klaus. Still doesn’t erase the fact that she wants to kill me.”

                Klaus made a “Ooook I guess?” face.

                “Anyways, stop being a little shitbitch and open the door.” Violet ordered.

                Klaus rolled his eyes, unlocked the door, and pulled it open.

                “Esmé.” Violet said, her voice not wavering.

                The woman gazed up at the girl, a single, dark eye through dirty, curly strands of hair,

                “Here to carry out your  _ revenge,  _ darling?”

                Violet’s face remained stone, “We’re not after revenge.”

                “We’re after justice.” Klaus said, “Because nobody else will do it _but_ us.”

                Esmé grinned, “Is that the excuse you're willing to make? ”

                “Eh.” Carmelita shrugged. She was looking down at her bat before shifting her eyes upwards to the woman in front of them.

                “Carmelita, little darling, your parents died, by the way. Same fate as the Baudelaires and the Quagmires. You’re an orphan, now. _Isn’t that grand?_ You can blame the Gruesome Twosome for such-” Esmé rambled.

                “I figured as much.  _ They _ didn’t give a shit about me, anyhow. The cru  _ does.”  _ Carmelita interrupted matter-of-factly.

                Esmé stared at the red head.

                Violet stepped over to the woman, pulling out the sugar bowl,

                “Do you want this?”

                Esmé began to cackle loudly,

                “What are you going to do? Hm? Well?”

                Klaus stared at Violet. Carmelita looked from Esmé to Violet and back.

                Violet nodded her head backwards.

_                 You two. Get out and get the door ready to slam it shut. _

                Klaus squeezed his eyes shut, “Violet, there has to be some other-”

                “ _ Do it.” _

                Carmelita shrugged, then grabbing Klaus’s arm and dragging him out.

                Violet raised up the sugar bowl to the dim lamp light, looking at it pseudo-curiously.

                “Was there anything else in here before the cocaine?”

                Esmé grinned,

                “ _ Sugar,  _ darling.  _ Obviously.  _ It was part of my  _ tea set.” _

                “I’m sure it was.” Violet said, gripping it carefully.

                Carmelita and Klaus put on their facemasks.

                Violet pulled one from her dress pocket and slipped it on.

                Esmé’s grin began to falter,

                “What…  _ what are you on about, then?  _ What’s… what’s going on?”

                “People have died for this damned thing.” Violet said from behind the mask, “Why am I not surprised? ...An entire cult… falling to pieces over a… porcelain trophy…”

                Her eyes glittered upon seeing Esmé’s sudden realization.

                “You- y-you put-  _ you put-?”  _ She stuttered, “You wouldn’t, you wouldn’t..?” She began to laugh, nervous. Begging.

                “That bastard won’t miss you.” Violet said darkly. Esmé choked out a sob.

                Klaus looked at his sister, who had a sinister aura about her,

                “You sure about this?”

                The feral inventor looked slightly back at her brother, staring at him with a single, heavy lidded eye,

                “She lost her chance when she stayed by his side.”

                She looked back to Esmé, who was shaking, rambling on and on.

                “ _ Don’t choke on your pride, now, blondie. _ ”

                Violet then threw down the sugar bowl onto the hard, metal flooring of the submarine, shattering it into a plethora of pieces.

                As it shattered, she dashed out, Klaus and Carmelita slamming the door shut, locking it, sealing away Esmé and the Medusoid Mycelium into her own underwater metal casket.

                There was some screaming, then the coughing began.

                “She’ll be dead within the hour.” Violet spoke, “Fitting for her, isn’t it? To see a shattered sugar bowl while she slowly succumbs to death from what was inside it.”

                “Interesting stuff.” Klaus replied.

                “So _very_ **_‘IN’_** ** _!_** _”_ Carmelita cackled as they began to walk off.

* * *

 

                As the three walked into the captain’s room, they saw some new but familiar faces along with a confused Isadora and a doubtful Quigley.

                Well, one face they were quite happy to see, but the other two…

                “Vi, Klaus, Carm, good, you’re back-!” Fiona began, then her breath hitched.

                “Fiona… why are _they_ here?” Klaus asked, suspicious.

                Fernald and Gimle looked to the others.

                “Uh-! It’s ok!! They’re with us, now!” Hector said quickly, throwing his hands out in front of him, “They didn’t want to be involved with Olaf any more - it wasn’t right!”

                Violet narrowed her eyes, “And they’re smart to think that,” She put her hands on her holsters, “But why should I  _ trust _ them?”

                “Because this is Fernald - my brother.” Fiona said slowly, pointing to him. The man waved a single hook at her.

                Klaus stared in confusion, then shaking his head quickly, “Mmmmk, that- uh- that's. Wow.”

                “I kinda wish I was here to help you kill step-dad, though. Would’ve been fun!” Fernald said happily to Fiona, who laughed,

                “Right, uh, sorry about the surprise, guys. I… didn’t know you were trying to find me?” Fiona looked from her brother, to her friends, then back.

                “I’ve been trying to find you for years. I… had to flee and found myself in a dead end. I hope… Bertrand isn’t mad at me?” Fernald explained.

                “He isn’t, trust me. He didn’t agree with that idea, either.” Fiona said.

                Violet felt her cheeks burn, “What if I told ya’ll I shoved some of the Mycelium into the sugar bowl, then took it to an imprisoned Esmé, then shattered it and now she’s dying in there?”

                The others looked at her.

                “You used it on Esmé?” Fernald asked quietly.

                Violet nodded slowly. Fiona shrugged,

                “She was more than awful, anyhow.”

                Fernald sighed,

                “I mean, you’re right but-”

                “We are  _ so  _ beyond morals at this point. We’re involved in a hunt for a pedophile. Besides, I didn’t like the way she spoke to us. Acting all high ‘n’ mighty. Bitch.” Violet snorted.

                Gimle nodded, “She’s right. Esmé was a bitch.”

                Hector cleared his throat, “Well, we don’t want to get in the way of your mission. I suppose we’ll be heading back to the SSHAB, now?”

                Fernald looked at Hector, then to his younger sister,

                “I’ll be staying with them. Fiona needs my help.”

                Fiona blinked up at him, “You mean that?”

                “Of course, you’re my little sister! We’re all we have left!” Fernald said happily, “And I know you’ve got a found family, but I’d love to be a part of it with you.”

                Fiona grinned.

                Gimle shrugged, “Whatever you want, Fernald. I guess We’ll see you some other time, then.” Hector smiled, “We’ll watch the skies for you, no worries.”

                Violet cleared her throat,

                “Well, now that that’s done. Uhhh, Fi, is there a chance we could clean out that brig room, later?”

                Fiona laughed, “We’ll find a way, no worries.”

                Sunny toddled into the room suddenly holding Violet’s cake,

                “Birthday!”

                Violet blinked down at her, “I’d forgotten all about that shit… I…”

                She felt something catch in her throat (Thankfully this time it wasn't fungus), reminding her of how young she still was.

                “There should be enough for everyone here!” Kevin smiled, “Red velvet is your favorite, right Vi?”

                Violet laughed, becoming dewy eyed, “Yeah!” She grinned,

                “Yeah. It is.”


	36. An Elated Elevation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the final confrontation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What if I told you this is only the first arc?
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. Fiona  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. Bertrand  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                Olaf paced back and forth in the captain’s room - 

                Clearly Esmé had been offed by the group of murderous vigilantes.

                He threw his head back in frustration, sat down in the captain’s chair, and prepared to continue his course to the hotel.

                He wasn’t going to risk anything any more.

                He didn’t have the opportunity to do so.

                Olaf had to prove he was useful to the Gruesome Twosome, or they’d abandon him, again. Or kill him.

                Either way,

                He didn’t care what had happened to the blonde.

                He had places to be.

* * *

 

                “Well, I think we have enough people to form a pretty good, successful plan.” Violet said, looking around at the large cru.

                “I managed to finally get through to Jacquelyn and Olivia on your walkie talkie, Vi! They must be nearby!” Brandon said happily, “She said Kit Snicket was going to help us!”

                There were some mumbles and grumbles in the group.

                Violet rolled her eyes.

                “They said they'd meet as at Briny Beach!" Brandon continued.

                Violet nodded, "Alright, then. Sounds good enough to me. Can't wait to meet her." She grumbled,

                “Fiona, let’s go, full speed ahead. We need to stop that hotel from burning down, and finally kill that sick fucking son of a _bitch._ ” The feral teen said to the mycologist, who nodded, heading to the controls.

                “Ready yourselves. It’s time to be something powerful. For each other. For our family.” Violet finished.

                Everyone else in the room cheered, Bertrand smiling proudly at his eldest daughter.

* * *

 

                The missing half of the cru had hidden themselves away in an alleyway, waiting for any sort of sign that the other half was ok.

                “We're heading to Briny Beach - time to get our shit together.” Jacquelyn announced.

                Olivia stood up straight, clapping her hands, “Oh, thank _goodness!_ I can’t wait to see the kids, again! I’ve missed them _so_ much!!” She then sighed, “Such a shame, though, about Esmé.”

                Jacquelyn grit her teeth for a moment, breathing deeply,

                “It was only a matter of time before her decisions caught up to her.”

                “Just like Bitch Fuck’s will catch up to him!” Colette said.

                Kit looked carefully at her hands, not wanting to look up,

                "I wish I could have... done something different."

                Larry sighed, "Kit, what's done has been done. There's nothing more we can do, now. You know that."

                The pregnant woman held back a sob,

                "I kn-know but... I just..."

                Jacquelyn sighed.

                "I  _hate_ V.F.D." Kit whispered. Larry and Hugo held the distraught woman close to them.

                Lemony leaned against the taxi, crossing his arms. Olivia looked at him,

                “Are you alright, dear?”

                “Just… attempting to balance life and my sanity.” Lemony replied, his voice tired.

                “I know how that feels.” Olivia smiled.

* * *

 

                Within another day, the two groups finally reunited, becoming one big family. Kevin was overjoyed to see Hugo and Colette again, Hugo looking him over to make sure his found brother hadn’t gotten hurt in any way.

                Jacquelyn and Olivia were overjoyed to meet Fiona. Yet another daughter to dote on.

                Fernald’s story was explained, and though they had their doubts, if the others could trust him, they supposed it could be alright.

                “Now,” Violet interrupted, “Where’s this… _Kit Snicket?”_

                Some of the cru looked at her, each other, or down at the sand below their feet.

                There was some silence before the group parted, showing a very distraught, very pregnant woman making her way over to Bertrand, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny.

                “Hello, Baudelaires. Hello, Bert. It’s good to see you’re doing well. And alive. I missed you.”

                

                Bertrand smiled softly,

                “I've missed you too, Kit. I’m sure your happy to learn that Lemony is alive, yes?”

                She smiled slightly, but it quickly faltered,

                “I apologize that I couldn’t tell you sooner, kids.” She sighed, “I’ve been… caught up in Jacques’s death… needless to say I’m… distraught and pregnant.”

                Violet swallowed,

                “Olaf killed him.”

                “I know, Violet. I know.” Kit replied, her voice cracking,

                “And that’s yet another reason as to why he needs to be slain. I commend you for having the courage to go and do such a thing.”

                Violet nodded slowly.

                “The hotel,” Klaus began, “It’ll be filled with volunteers _and_ firestarters, right?”

                “Those on the firestarter side of the schism will disguise themselves among the volunteers. We’ll need to remain vigilant. Some may be on Olaf’s side.” Kit explained.

                “‘Makes sense.” Klaus said.

                “...Evacuate.” Sunny suggested, “ _What if we evacuate everyone before anything happens?”_

                Violet glanced down at Sunny, “What my sister means is… she’s suggestion an emergency evacuation.”

                “That would be too risky for various reasons.” Lemony explained, walking over to them, “Either highly suspicious, or something... someone would stop us.”

                “So we… don’t have a choice?” Klaus asked, “If the hotel burns… whoever doesn’t get out..?”

                Kit squeezed her eyes shut, “I’m sorry, Baudelaires. I wish there was a better way.”

                “Fine then.” Violet said suddenly, “Let’s get just started on the plan.”

* * *

 

                “Alright, Jacquelyn, Olivia, you two go ahead and stake out the Hotel Denouement. The other adults will be in the sub, get around to the back of the hotel where the ocean lies.” Violet said, pointing to a map that Larry provided them, “Me ‘n’ the other kids’ll go in and hunt his ass down. So, here’s the deal,”

                "We're not coming with you?" Kevin asked, surprised and slightly offended.

                Violet sighed, "No. No you're not. It's too risky. You know why."

                Kevin and Colette only nodded.

                Violet looked to Klaus, Sunny, the Quagmires, Carmelita, and Fiona, who looked at her attentively,

                “Odds are, there will be Kitsune. Just slaughter 'em as quickly as you can. There's literally zero time to waste.”

                “How are we going to find him? _”_ Duncan worried.

                “You should know, by now, bro - Lady Luck is on our side.” Quigley said, then winking at Violet. She smirked,

                 “Jacquelyn and Olivia will get to the sub as soon as the rest of us get there. Kapeesh?”

                “This plan has, like, _so_ many flaws.” Carmelita commented, “But whatever. Who cares. I wanna kill a fool.”

                Isadora looked at her, “Well said, little red.”

                Jacquelyn looked to Olivia, “Let's head out.” Olivia nodded to the spy as they got up.

                “Alright, team,” Violet said, looking at everyone else, “Let’s lock ‘n’ load.”

                Fernald looked at Fiona, “...Please be careful.” The mycologist smiled up at her brother,

                “I’ll try. We all will.”

                Bertrand rubbed his face worriedly, and Lemony rested a hand on his shoulder,

                “She’ll be fine. She’s like Beatrice. Hardy.”

                “And _stubborn._ ” Bertrand chuckled, trying to remain optimistic.

                “There’s no guarantee none of us are going to come out of this unscathed, but hell, we’ll try.” Lemony said. Bertrand nodded.

* * *

 

                Olaf walked up to the Hotel Denouement, a group of Kitsune following in tow. He was biting at his nails, tearing his cuticles, bloodying his already metaphorically bloodied hands, when a familiar female voice sent sharp shivers down his spine,

                “Dear Olaf, you made it in time. Excellent.”

                He stared at the Gruesome Twosome,

                “I thought I was going to do this myself?”

                “You lost your entire troupe.” The man said. “They either left or were murdered.” The woman sneered. “And now all that’s left is you and the help we’ve so generously given.” The man finished.

                Olaf swallowed harshly, looking between them,

                “I can still… destroy the hotel. And everyone in it.”

                They glared at him,

                “You will go to the roof at await our arrival.” The man growled.

                “We’ll take care of the rest.” The woman snarled.

                Olaf blinked at them,

                “Wh-”

                “ **_Go._ **” The Twosome glowered at him. He shivered, taking off. The Kitsune did not follow, instead, looking to their bosses.

                “Now… One thing at a time.” The man said mischievously.

                “And everything will fall into place.” The woman smiled darkly.

                Jacquelyn and Olivia hid nearby, and had watched the entire exchange. Jacquelyn brought the device to her lips and whispered,

                “ _The demon is here.”_


	37. The Pertinacious Peril [1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something dark hangs over the hotel, and it's not just Isadora's crows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all come down to this...  
> The question is...  
> Can they do it?
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. Fiona  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. Bertrand  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                

                It all came down to this.

                Months and months of worry,

                Running,

                Death,

                Sleepless nights,

                Acquired allies,

                Lost innocence,

                Miracles.

                The farm sibs, Lemony, Bertrand, and Larry bid the kids and Kit farewell. Many of the adults doted over the kids, telling them to be safe, be careful, have their wits about them.

                The kids piled into the Snicket cab.

                “No disguises this time,” Violet barked, “Either we go in as we are or we’re lying to ourselves.”

                Kit smiled slightly, looking at her in the rearview mirror.

                “Do we know how we’re even gonna approach this doo?” Quigley asked, looking to his glowering girlfriend beside him. She smirked,

                “Follow your gut, use your instincts. We should all know this by now. We’re a team. We work off of each other.”

                “Good enough for me.” Klaus said.

                Fiona cleared her throat,

                “I haven’t been… in a _fight_ , really.”

                “You’ll get the hang of it, sweetheart.” Violet said smugly, “Trust me.”

                Fiona raised an eyebrow, “Are you… sure?”

                “You’re going to be amazing. _Trust me._ ” Violet replied, “As much as I can’t stand you (sometimes), I know you’ll be _just_ fine.”

                Fiona’s eyes glimmered.

                “He’s being sent to the rooftop. So we’ll have to like, avoid any Kitsune _AND_ the Gruesome Twosome. ‘Shouldn’t be _too_ hard.” Carmelita said from the front seat.

                “Uh huh, yeah. Sure.” Duncan muttered.

                “Statut.” Sunny called from the front seat in Carmelita’s lap, “ _Enough flirting and bickering, let’s talk stats.”_

                “Stats?” Klaus asked.

                “Whaddya mean, lil bean?” Carmelita looked down at Sunny.

                “Aptitude.” Sunny stated simply, “ _Strengths, weaknesses, all that fun stuff.”_

                “Right,” Violet said, “Since Fiona doesn’t know, I suppose, and it would be good to remind each other.”

                “Well, Vi, you’re good with your pistols. And knives. And you’re pretty fast. Your aim is… pretty good.” Klaus said. Violet smiled, “And you’re pretty fast yourself, buddy. Your aim with those darts can be a little off. We’ll clean that up, I’m sure. Though in close-handed combat I think you’ll do better. I’m sure your syringes take care of things.”

                Klaus snorted, “Sure.”

                Sunny looked up at Carmelita, “Sauvage.” Which meant, “ _You like heavy handed combat with your nailed bat. You’re a little on the slower side, but that means your attacks pack more punch. You definitely like stomping, for sure.”_

                Carmelita giggled, “And you’ve got a nice set of teeth - I don’t think I’ve seen a toddler move as fast as you when angered, either! ‘Definitely a force to be reckoned with, lil gremlin!”

                Sunny cackled, clapping her little hands.

                Quigley nodded to Duncan, “I know Kev’s been teaching you to use those swords better, right?”

                Duncan cleared his throat, “Y-yeah!”

                “Well, he must’ve taught you some good shit, because you’ve gotten a hell of a lot better! I can’t wait to see you sever some heads, bro.” Quigley complimented.

                Duncan giggled, “Well, you’re… horrifyingly fast and brutal with those knives. You, uh, scare me actually.” He blinked at his brother.

                Quigley laughed darkly, “Thanks my dude.”

                Fiona looked at Isadora,

                “I saw how you used those chain whips. You have zero hesitation with your movements. It’s superb, really.”

                Isadora blushed.

                “She’s fucking incredible with her crows, by the way.” Violet complimented, “They listen to her without question. Also, it helps that her soulless stare terrifies people.”

                The others laughed.

                Fiona bit her lip, “Well, uhm, I’ve been trying to teach myself how to use my tridents in secret. I’m happy I’ll be able to use them, now!”

                Violet smirked, “Excellent. You may be a late entry in the party, but you’ll fit in _just_ fine. Besides, apparently there were some surprises packed in the trunk for us.”

                The kids looked at each other in excitement.

                “That’ll definitely help us!” Duncan cried happily.

* * *

 

                Kit’s driving was certainly… something.

                She wasted no time in getting to the hotel as quickly as possible, drifting around corners and running stop lights, no matter who told her what.

                Violet and Carmelita especially enjoyed it.

                The Snicket woman even rammed through a hedge wall as a shortcut, “Just in case we’re being followed.”

                When they finally arrived at the hotel, the area was crawling with cars and people of all different backgrounds. Kit had parked behind a nice wall of trees.

                They all got out, Kit giving them a solemn look,

                “I’m sorry I can’t provide you with a nice family picnic before you go off to settle all of this.”

                Violet blinked at her, confused.

                Klaus smiled, “It’s the thought that counts. Just stay out of harm’s way. Get to the submarine as quickly as you can.”

                Kit nodded. She then went to the wall of trees, peeking past them as if she was looking for someone.

                Duncan opened the trunk and let out a gasp,

                “Holy shit, _nice!”_

                “Wh-what!? What is it??” Carmelita said, running over to him, looking into the trunk. The others followed, and soon had the same feeling.

                A new assortment of weapons had been custom made and waiting for them.

                For Violet, two pistols with an iridescent paint job and built-in grappling hooks, a shotgun with the same paint, and two knives with floral designs.

                Klaus picked up one of the syringes from a pack that all held different types of poisons in them, all with intricate designs on the outside. There was also a new box of poison darts.

                Sunny stood on her tiptoes at the edge of the trunk, eyeing some small, gilded iron claw gloves.

                For Duncan, a new set of shining, sharpened swords. Both blades sparkled like the night sky, and had intricately designed hilts.

                Quigley grinned at a set of knives and daggers, all with a moon motif.

                Isadora held up two long chain whips with sharp, knife-like ends. They had an icey motif.

                Carmelita gawked at a heavy spiked, soft pink metal bat with a lavender bow at the handle.

                Finally, for Fiona, a gilded, five-pronged trident, and a dark axe with a solar motif.

                “W-wow.” Klaus said, feeling as if this was the only thing he _could_ muster. Violet giggled wildly,

                “Ok, bitches, now _THIS_ is **FUCKING** **_EPIC_ ** _.”_

                Quigley and Carmelita grabbed their weapons, cackling wildly.

                Duncan picked up his blades, “Talk about slaughtering in style, eh?”

                Isadora laughed.

                As the kids gazed in wonder at their new weapons, a mysterious man came through the trees,

                “Kit.”

                “Dewey! Oh, thank _God._ ” Kit replied, looking at the man.

                Violet turned and noticed the couple. She poked at the others.

                “He the baby daddy?” Quigley asked.

                “Probably.” Carmelita replied.

                “Soon, this will all be over. I hope.” Kit said, “Dewey, _please_ , come with us. They’re going to burn down the hotel-!”

                Dewey shook his head,

                “Kit. You know what I have to do.”

                Kit grit her teeth, tears threatening to spill from her eyes,

                “ _Fuck_ the orginization, Dewey! It’s done nothing but hurt us! _Tear us all apart!_ And what has it done for you and your brothers? _Nothing!_ It’s torn _you_ apart! It’s killed Jacques and forced my brother into hiding! It’s-!”

                Dewey grabbed onto Kit’s shoulders,

                “Kit. I’m sorry.”

                The distraught woman looked at her husband.

                “This is all I’ve known.”

                Kit sobbed, “But it _doesn’t have to be.”_

                The kids watched on in sorrow.

                “Fuck V.F.D., like, big actually.” Quigley muttered. Klaus nodded.

                “It’s all a bunch of confusing, stupid bullshit.” Duncan agreed.

                Dewey looked past Kit to the kids,

                “Are these the children?”

                She sighed and looked down, “Yes. They’ll take care of Olaf. The others… the others are gone.”

                “Esmé is..?” The man tightened his grip on his wife.

                “...She’s dead.” Kit answered, not looking up.

                Dewey stared at each of the kids,

                “I see.”

                He then relinquished his grip, looking at Kit,

                “I’ll be taking my leave, now. I’ll need to prepare the sub-library for the oncoming storm. Hopefully I’ll make it out via the tunnels. Stay safe.”

                “Leave V.F.D., Dewey. _It’s not worth it._ ” Kit begged.

                Dewey blinked at her,

                “...I’ll… I need to prepare. Kids, my brothers are Frank and Ernest. Frank is to be trusted, Ernest, not. You can remember this as follows: F is for ‘friendly’ and E is for ‘evil’. I’ve informed Frank of your imminent arrival.”

                Klaus blinked at him,

                “I- we- uh… ok?”

                With that, the man slipped back through the trees. Kit quickly turned to the kids, still looking down,

                “You need to act quickly.”

                Kit looked up at them, her face covered in tears,

                “Save us. _You’re all we have left._ ”

                The kids felt a drop in their stomachs.

                There was… a lot more riding on this than they thought.

* * *

 

                The kids slipped out from the trees, strapped down to the nines with their weapons. Various looks were thrown their direction, mostly in the realm of fear and confusion.

                They walked into the hotel through the revolving doors, and stepped quickly to the center of the busy lobby. They stopped to look carefully at their surroundings.

                Not a Kitsune in sight.

                Odd, certainly. Suspected? Perhaps.

                “Greetings, welcome to the Hotel Denouement. How may I be of service?” Frank or Ernest greeted them.

                Violet narrowed her eyes,

                “...Are you Frank or… Ernest?”

                “An excellent question. My dear brother has informed me that you’re here to stake out the hotel for Count Olaf. I saw him heading to the mid floors. Take your time, we wouldn’t want you to stumble.” Frank or Ernest replied.

                Klaus rose an eyebrow.

                “Uh… thanks.” Violet said slowly.

                The man smiled, nodded, and moved off.

                “Ok, I’m confused.” Carmelita said, dazed.

                “They’re triplets, for one, Carm.” Fiona whispered, rolling her eyes, “Dewey must be like the… secret third boy. The others were forced to either side of the schism, while Dewey was forced to stay in hiding no matter what.”

                “Well that fuckin’ blows.” Violet replied.

                Klaus looked around the lobby, “He couldn’t be heading to the mid-floors, he was ordered to head to the rooftop, right?”

                “He might be trying to help the Twosome set up some kindling.” Duncan helped.

                Quigley snorted.

                “You might be right. He seems to follow their every order blindly, or in fear of being pushed to the lions.” Klaus said, thinking.

                A familiar voice then started their direction,

                “B-Baudelaires?”

                Violet, Klaus, and Sunny turned to it’s direction faster than the others.

                A panicked Justice Strauss came running over to them,

                “Oh, my _goodness!_ Children, I’ve missed you _so much!_ I was so _worried!_ I went to place after place, and it seemed as if I just missed you! And now, here you are. Oh… I hope all those rumors in the paper weren’t true…”

                Violet winced,

                “We _did_ kill those masked suits, we _are_ after Olaf, but we _didn’t_ kill Jacques. Olaf did that.”

                Justice Strauss arched her brows in worry, “Oh, children, I’m so sorry you had to go through this - please, you don’t need to do _this-_! I can help you! I can clear your names and take you with me-!”

                Klaus squeezed his eyes shut,

                “No.”

                “Wh-what?” Justice Strauss stuttered sadly.

                “...We must finish what was started.” Isadora replied.

                “...Please. You need to understand that… the life we had… the life we thought… it’s over. This is what we need to do.” Klaus said.

                The woman looked pathetically at the kids,

                “There… has to be another way.”

                Sunny looked up at her,

                “ _There isn’t.”_

                “We’re sorry, Justice Strauss.” Klaus looked at the woman,

                “Maybe we’ll see each other again.”

                Justice Strauss glanced around at the group,

                “I… I see. Just…” She began to walk away, “Be… be careful, children.”

                “We’ll be fine.” Violet replied, sure.

                Justice Strauss merely nodded before turning to disappear amongst the crowd.

                Violet and Klaus gave heavy sighs.

                Sunny glanced around, then seeing what seemed to be the same man come toward them,

                “Heads up.” The toddler said loudly. The others looked in the man’s direction.

                “You seem to be having some trouble - how may I be of service? My brother informed me of the situation.” Frank or Ernest asked.

                “We’re here to take care of a pest.” Isadora said carefully, “Where do you think we can look that might be the best?

                Frank or Ernest smiled at them,

                “Well, Olaf was ordered to head upwards, I wouldn’t waste any time if I were you. The elevator should be vacant in quite a moment…”

                Frank or Ernest looked back, the kids doing the same,

_Ding!_

                The elevator doors opened.

                “Ahm… thank you..? F-Frank or Earnest?” Duncan attempted.

                “Of course, Duncan. Any time.”

                Violet blinked. Duncan shivered, “H-how did he know my name?”

                “Remember how the organization keeps tabs on _young persons of interest?_ ” Klaus muttered, “That’s us.”

                Isadora gave a low growl.

                Duncan looked at them, his face a mixture of panic and fear, “Who do we believe, then?”

                “They- I- _AUGH.”_ Carmelita groaned. Violet looked irritated, “...Who are we supposed to trust?”

                “... Each other.” Isadora spoke up.

                Fiona shrugged, “ _You’re_ ‘The Leader’, _Violet,_ you’ll figure it out.” She snipped. Klaus gave the mycologist a worried glance.

                "That doesn't mean I always know what's _right-!_ They're- they- they all look the _same!_ And they... they _spoke_ the same... I'm..." Violet stuttered, starting to panic. Quigley quickly placed a gentle hand on her shoulder,

                "What’s your gut tellin’ you, baby?"

                Everyone else glanced from Quigley to Violet, waiting for her to answer.

                She closed her eyes for a few moments. 

_Don't... think…_

**_Feel._ **

                The inventor took in a deep breath before opening her eyes,

                "...Just get into the elevator." Violet said, "We don't have time to fuck around."

                Carmelita shrugged and ran over to the lift, Violet following her. The rest of the kids ran after them, exchanging glances.

                The tiny teen bounced on her heels, watching everyone as they boarded. Isadora nodded toward her. The feral red head then jumped up, slapping the topmost button,

                And up they went.

 


	38. The Pertinacious Peril [2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This time,  
> The ways of the past we'll get over!  
> We'll climb,  
> Enlightened, a new state of mind!  
> And now,  
> I'll stand with you shoulder to shoulder!  
> Out of the ashes, a new flame ignites!  
> Rise up from shadows and into the light!  
> We'll stand undivided, our futures aligned!  
> A new brotherhood,  
> This time!"  
> -This Time, RWBY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAND NOWWWWW, THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALLL BEEN WAITING FOR!  
> KILL! THAT! PEDOPHIIIIIIIIILE!!!!
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. Fiona  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. Bertrand  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                As the floors whizzed past them, they felt a sudden realization come over them.

                This was possibly their final confrontation with the rat bastard.

                They stood in silence for a few minutes.

                “...Are you…” Violet’s voice cracked, “Are you guys ready?” Vernal slithered up from her small pack and settled onto her shoulders. The cobra nodded their head to her.

                Klaus sighed,

                “As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.”

                “It’s all come down to this,” Isadora said softly, “This is an opportunity we cannot miss.”

                “Isn’t it… weird though?” Carmelita chimed in.

                “What do you mean?” Fiona asked.

                Carmelita made a frustrated noise, “How we didn’t see any of those Kitsune people in the lobby, or the Gruesome Twosome, at all? Like, whatsoever?”

                Violet hummed in agreement. Quigley shrugged. Sunny sighed,

                “Who cares!”

                “Good point, Sunshine.” Duncan said.

                Carmelita grumbled, “Don’t you guys wanna kill more of those weirdos?”

                Quigey snorted,

                “Maybe. Vi _did_ nab a mask a while back.”

                “Wh-what?” Klaus looked at him in surprise, then stared at the eldest Baudelaire. Duncan only sighed.

                “ _Duh._ I gave it to Quiggles as a present, right, babe?” Violet giggled in reply, poking Quigley sweetly on the nose.

                Quigley chuckled, “Yep! Funny stuff, you shoulda seen it before I cleaned it off.”

                “...Bloody?” Sunny asked, intrigued.

                “Oh, _lots._ ” Violet grinned menacingly. Sunny laughed.

                “What _are_ we going to do with you two.” Fiona looked at the feral couple. Quigley and Violet cackled together.

                The elevator finally dinged, alerting that they’ve arrived at the destination of their final confrontation.

                “...Guess it’s time.” Fiona said as the doors slid open.

                And there, at the front of the pool, with his back turned, was Olaf. Still as dirty and grimy as ever, but he seemed… more pathetic than usual.

                The kids walked out of the elevator, it sliding closed behind them. The chilly wind blew around them gently. Mischief and Mayhem flitted quietly to Isadora's side.

                “I knew you little _shits_ would show up.” Olaf spoke, slowly turning,

                “Wolves _always_ find where their food is hiding.”

                Violet suddenly felt all doubts and fears slide from her,

                “I’m happy you’ve admitted to being the prey.”

                “Too bad the meat’s too disgusting to eat.” Quigley sneered, “ _So we’ll just be throwing it away as soon as we kill it._ ”

                “One less grody ass rat in the populace.” Carmelita growled.

                Olaf grinned,

                “Funny how you think I won’t go down without a fight.”

                He pulled two long machetes from his person.

                Violet smirked,

                “As _if_ those will help you.”

                Olaf smized, “I assure you, you have _no_ idea what I’m capable of, _my darling Violet._ ” Vernal hissed at the evil man, raising their head threateningly.

                Violet felt her blood boil, her face turning dark and angry,

                “This is where it _ENDS_ , you putrid fucking piece of _SHIT_ . I meant what I said _months and months ago,_ ” The feral teen snarled, baring her teeth,

                “ _VILE bastard, cursed man who walks this BITCH of an EARTH,_ **_I HAVEN’T SEEN REST._ ** _NOT UNTIL YOU ARE OBLITERATED, WIPED FROM THIS WORLD._ **_YOUR BLOOD WILL BE ON OUR BLADES._ ** _YOUR HEAD ON A PIKE._ **_WE WILL SLAUGHTER YOU.”_ **

                The others drew their weapons, Violet doing the same as she said this,

                “ **_ABHORRED, DISGRACEFUL, DISGUSTING FUCKING PEDOPHILE._ **”

                Olaf felt fear grip at him. And rightfully so. The vile man gazed at them, poker-faced,

                “Fantastic speech, my little pet.”

                “ **_AND DON’T CALL ME YOUR   P E T YOU VILE F U C K_ **.” Violet screamed at him, and Vernal bore their fangs. He gave a horrible, cold laugh.

                Quigley put a careful hand on her shoulder. Fiona crossed her arms, “I can see why the Twosome would want to _get rid_ of you. You’ve been nothing but _bothersome_ this entire time.”

                Olaf’s eye twitched, “ _They_ sent me here to take care of _YOU!_ ”

                “I wouldn’t be so sure.” Klaus said, flicking his syringe, “What could you possibly do to _us_ with… well…” He motioned at the disgusting man, “ _All that?”_

                “Like, just in general. Gross. Big Ew. I’m sure those big knife things aren’t even _sharp.”_ Carmelita scoffed, giggling.

                “They’re called _machetes,_ Carm.” Klaus nodded to her. Sunny giggled.

                “ _Poe-tay-toe, poe-tah-toe._ ” Carmelita mocked, “He’s _still_ ugly and useless.”

                Violet gave a wicked cackle.

                Olaf gave a deeply angry roar, then ran toward them. The kids readied their weapons.

                The battle had begun.

* * *

[[Music]](https://youtu.be/zdnWAsdOvuc)

_Welcome to the bloodbath jump into the tub_ _  
__Fist-fight, death-match come and join the club_ _  
__Kick-start your face with a metal-clad boot_ _  
__You should give up now,_ ** _your retaliation's moot_** _  
__Oh Yeah!_  
                 _Uh Huh!_

 

                Duncan and Quigley gave each other a nod before running off to either side of the bastard, Fiona spinning her trident around quickly, walking carefully over to Olaf. Klaus flicked his syringe again, checking it closely. The bookworm eyed the pedophile with an angry eye.

 

 _I'll run circles round ya, I can touch the sky_ _  
__I'm gonna make ya_ ** _hurt_** _and I'm gonna make you_ ** _cry_** _  
__You want to mess around? Well come on, let's go_ _  
_**_I got no time to waste, let's start the show_**

 

                The Quagmire brothers quickly converged onto Olaf, slamming their blades down, Olaf blocking them with his machetes Fiona stepped quickly over to him, then shoving the trident straight towards him, he quickly pushed off the boys, then ducking underneath the trident.

 

 _I'm the one that your mama said_ _  
__'Don't mess with them or_ ** _you'll end up dead_** _  
_**_That type they don't follow any rules'_** _  
__You're looking tall, you're looking tough_ _  
_**_I'm sorry dude, it's not enough_**  
                 _Your girlfriend's purse won't help you win this duel_

 

                Carmelita cackled loudly as she ran heavily over to the abhorred figure, readying a deathly blow to his head. Olaf jumped forward, the Quagmire boys moved around as Carmelita’s bat slammed onto the ground just behind Olaf.

 

 _The bigger they are then the more that they_ ** _bleed_** _  
__The deeper the scars that_ ** _won't heal_** _  
__Buckets of pain as they lie there in_ ** _shame_** _  
_**_Knowing how true defeat feels_**

 

                Klaus slid around them, then pricking Olaf in the neck with the syringe, quickly injecting the poison. Olaf growled, throwing an elbow against the teen and pushing him into the ground, but the boy casually landed on his feet, sliding backward. Olaf gripped the now empty syringe, yanking it out,

                “What’s this then, boy? After me like your parents were after _mine?_ ” Olaf cackled at the boy. Klaus sneered at him,

                “It’s a slow acting poison. Consider this a warning.”

 

 _I'm the one_ _  
__That was born in a nightmare_ ** _a murderer's son_** _  
__Got no gun_ _  
__But I gleam like a_ ** _blade_** _and_ ** _I'm harder than iron_**

 

                “Besiiiiides, Bitchlaf, we already know what happeeeened!” Carmelita cackled wildly, hunched over, pointing her bat at him. Olaf blinked at her,

                “ _What?”_

                Violet nodded, “Our father told us everything. He feels ashamed, yes, but it was no reason for YOUR STUPID ASS _TO TURN INTO THIS PILE OF_ **_FUCKING PUTRID GARBAGE._ ** _”_

 

 _I'm the one_ _  
__Who rose out of_ ** _filth_** _and was loved by_ ** _no-one_** _  
__Delusion_ _  
__I'll steal til you're blind and_ ** _defeat you from inside your mind_**

 

                The vile man stumbled, feeling a faint burning in his body. Isadora placed two fingers in her mouth and whistled. A large murder of crows rose from the sides of the hotel, perching quickly on the poolside chairs and umbrellas. She spun her chain whips around carefully, giving Olaf an emotionless, icy stare. Mischief and Mayhem cackled in birdy delight.

                Olaf quickly got up, moving backward, away from the other kids. Sunny lunged toward him, but he sidestepped the small child, causing her to fall into a somersault just behind him.

 

 _You're still standing up? Well let's go another round_ _  
_**_Singin' king of pain and you're gonna get crowned_** _  
__You like the way I dress? Yeah I know I'm fine_ _  
_**_The blood's gonna stain but it won't be mine_** _  
__Oh Yeah!_  
                 _Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!_

 

                Violet launched her grappling hook beside him, then flew in his direction, slamming her foot into his chest, knocking the breath out of him. The poison that was in his body started to make his muscles ache as he tried to get up.

                “Keep trying, _fuckface._ ” Violet sneered, standing tall.

                “At this point I’m already going to hell - no point in trying.” He laughed weakly, giving a sick grin.

                “Fantastic~! _I’ll be the one that will send you_ **_straight there_ ** _.”_ Violet hissed darkly.

                Olaf gulped.

 

 _Just chill here while I drop into the brush_ _  
__See you when I land and you're gonna feel the crush_ _  
__Lay right down and grab a little rest_ _  
_**_I guess you didn't know that you were dealing with the best_**

 

                Isadora ran over quickly, throwing one chain around his neck, yanking it tightly. He choked out in pain. The girl raised one armed hand carefully, a finger in the air,

                Then flicked it downward.

                A flurry of crows flew towards the foul man’s head, then proceeding to pluck out his eyes, flapping around wildly. He screamed out in agony. Isadora’s eyes glittered as Mischief and Mayhem settled onto their master's shoulders, watching their feathered brothers and sisters commit justice.

                Violet grinned.

 

 _You shoulda stayed at home today_ _  
__This fisticuffs won't go your way_ _  
__This confrontation isn't just for school_ _  
__It might be hard to hear me say_ _  
_**_Kicking your ass is child's play_**  
                 _I hope you're not crushed by this ridicule_

 

                The crows cleared, Quigley and Duncan then moving quickly with their blades.

                Quigley cackled loudly, wielding a dagger in both hands as he then severed Olaf’s right arm.

                Duncan roared as his own blade came down, chopping off Olaf’s left arm.

                The bastard wailed in abject horror and agony.

 

 _A slap on the wrist and a kick to the chin_ _  
__A hint of the flavor of steel_ _  
__No one to blame it's_ ** _the end of the game_** _  
_**_The humiliation is real_**

 

                Fiona walked over as this happened, taking the axe from the strap on her back. She then twirled it carefully in her hand,

                “Hate to _cut_ you off like this, but it’s what must be done.” She said before slamming down the blade of her weapon, severing both his legs, causing him to scream so loudly his voice left him.

                Violet stood, watching on in glee.

                Carmelita then skipped over, readying her bat,

                “Thiiiis is for people like _you_ and _Nero_ **_FUCKING UP MY LIFE!_ **” The red head screamed before throwing her bat into his chest, shattering his ribs.

                Sunny lunged once again, stabbing her claws into his shoulder, digging her fangs into his flesh. She held on for a good few seconds before releasing.

 

 _I'm the one_ _  
__That was_ ** _ripped_** _from the earth and_ ** _exposed_** _to the sun_ _  
__Overrun_ _  
__By the_ ** _hate_** _and the_ ** _beatings_** _defiled by_ ** _a father_**

 

                The teens and toddler now watched as Violet walked up to the slowly dying man, her cobra rested tauntingly on her shoulders, hissing gleefully.

                “Shame all that didn’t kill you on the spot, somehow.” Violet whispered.

                “Say hi to the others for me. _God have mercy on your pitiful soul._ ”

                With that, she raised one pistol, and delivered the final shot through his skull.

 

 _I'm the one_ _  
__I'll race with your eyes and_ ** _you'll never outrun_** _  
__Illusions_ _  
__Will_ ** _conquer your mind_** _and will make you_ **fulfill my design**

* * *

 

                “Something’s definitely burning.” Klaus interrupted the rejoicing team. It was finally over. All their running and readying. It was all worth it.

                Or was it?

                “W-what?” Violet said between gleeful breaths of laughter,

                “The Twosome must’ve set the hotel alight while we were killing the fucker.” Klaus said.

                Fiona looked around, “We need to move. _Now.”_

                “...Wh- _How!? Where!?_ We’re on the ROOFTOPS, Fi!!” Duncan yelled.

                Violet pulled out the walkie talkie,

                “Bastard Man is down, hotel is alight, be ready for us to board.” She said quickly.

                Jacquelyn’s urgent voice came over the device,

                “How are you going to get out!? We saw the fire start and feared the worst - “

                “We’re going to jump.” Violet said loudly.

                The others looked at her in horror.

                “ **_WHAT!?!?_ **”

                Jacquelyn’s angry, panicked voice blasted through the device as Violet shut it off,

                “Leap of faith. Either we take out chances and pray to _God_ it works, or we go down with our victory in flames.” Violet said quickly but carefully, “And quite frankly, I’d like for us to live just to rub it in those two fucker’s faces.”

                Klaus swallowed. Duncan looked at her, nearly crying. Carmelita rolled her eyes. Isadora and Fiona looked at each other.

                “Okiedokie.” Sunny said, “ _Let’s yeet out.”_

                Violet smiled down at her sister,

                “Well said, little sister.”

                She plucked up her youngest sibling, feeling the ground rumble from under them. It was going to collapse if they didn’t act fast. Hopefully at least _some_ people would get out alive. Who knew.

                As they all ran to the edge of the rooftop where the pool fell out and down as a waterfall, they saw the faint shape of the submarine far below.

                Violet looked around at the various resources she could use,

                Umbrellas, tarps, towels, awnings,

                Perhaps she could fashion some parachutes.

                She shoved Sunny to Klaus, telling them her plan. Klaus knitted his brows but only nodded to her. Quigley and Fiona ran with her, ripping down various fabrics, tying them together.

                Violet was worried this wouldn’t work. Would it work? _It had to._

                There was no other option. They couldn’t jump by themselves. Sunny couldn’t swim in deep water. They wouldn’t survive such a jump, either. They’d probably plunge to the depths and not have enough time to come back up. They may even land right on the partly submerged submarine and-

                It had to work. It _had_ to.

_Aim for the water!_

                They didn’t have a choice.

_Don’t let go!_

                They all had a parachute. They all met at the edge. They all prayed.

                They all…

                They all jumped.

* * *

 

                Out of all of them, Klaus was screaming the loudest. The parachutes weren’t opening. He was screaming for good reason.

                Fiona had her eyes squeezed shut, as tight as she could get them.

                Sunny was covering her eyes, strapped to Violet’s chest.

_Oh God. Oh fuck. Oh God no._

_OhGodOhfuckOhGodOhfuckOhGodOhfuck-_

**_Fwoomp_ **

**_Fmp_ **

                Their parachutes finally began to catch the air, just as they were nearing the water.

                Thankfully.

                They slowly descended down into the water, the sub’s hatch slamming open, Bertrand climbing out quickly, along with Fernald, Brandon, Kevin, and Hugo.

                They had succeeded. They’d done it. _He was dead._

                The adults helped up the kids from the water before any of them could even think about sinking.

                They’d done it. It was finally at an end.

                But... it wasn’t over.

_Not yet._

* * *

 

                “We need to get the hell out of here, but I don’t think there’s a place we could hide from them.” Violet muttered as everyone finally settled down inside the sub.

                “They’ll think we’re dead, Vi.” Klaus answered.

                “They’ll track us down!” Hugo shivered, his face plastered with fear, “They’ll find us and… and _kill_ us!”

                There were other various arguments, both optimistic and pessimistic.

                “They won’t find us.” Bertrand interrupted the flurry of panic.

                They all looked at him.

                “What… whaddya mean?” Carmelita stared up at him.

                “There’s an island far from here - far, far from here. We’ll be safe there. We can get there using the submarine.” Bertrand explained, “...Beatrice and I remained there for a year to… try and hide from the world…”

                “Until you realized you couldn’t hide forever.” Klaus finished.

                Bertrand nodded.

                “Well, it’s settled, then. Let’s hurry ‘n’ shove off then, yeah?” Fiona said, standing up.

                “I suppose we could use a vacation.” Lemony said carefully, “But _we_ can’t hide from the world, either.”

                “We just need a hideout we can return to when we gotta.” Violet said, looking up at him, “We’re not hiding from the _world,_ we’re hiding from… _them.”_

                “The Gruesome Twosome.” Larry shivered. Jacquelyn rolled her eyes,

                “You kids scared the shit out of me, y’know that?” The spy spat.

                Olivia nodded, “I- I thought _I_ was going to die! Because _you_ were going to die-! Oh..!” She groaned in worry, then grabbing onto Quigley and Carmelita, hugging them tightly. They objected loudly as some of the others laughed.

                Kit swallowed harshly,

                “I don’t know if Dewey got out alive.”

                Lemony gazed sadly at his sister.

                “... He’s a smart man. I’m sure he did.” Bertrand reassured her.

                “The tunnels are connected to the hotel, right?” Duncan asked, “He should be fine!”

                “The Gruesome Twosome, though.” Klaus poked at him. Duncan furrowed his brows in worry.

                Violet grumbled, “Cork it. He’ll be fine. Let’s just be happy Olaf is mcfuckin’ **DEAD**.”

                Everyone gave a hearty agreeing noise. All but Kit, who merely stared down at her belly in sorrow and… regret.

                “Alright, nerds, let’s yeet out.” Quigley announced.

                Before everyone began to move, Violet cleared her throat, reminding everyone not to disturb the brig room with… you know what. 

                They all agreed.

                Fiona left with Fernald, Quigley, and Violet, and Isadora to the captain’s room. Sunny, Kevin, Brandon and Carmelita went off to the kitchen. Lemony, Bertrand, Olivia, Klaus, and Duncan went to the library. Jacquelyn, Kit, Larry, Hugo, and Colette went off to the bunks to rest and fiddle with hobbies.

                Olaf was finally in the darkest, deepest depths of hell where he belonged.

                But it wasn’t over.

                Not by a long shot.

 


	39. The End? [1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though Olaf is dead, the Twosome are still at large.  
> However, many think the members of the cru are dead. Maybe.
> 
> Time to find a place to chill for a bit, yeah?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u like funky water dragons right  
> asking for a friend  
> the friend is me
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. Fiona  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. Bertrand  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                “Aaaand I’m bored again.” Quigley said, elbows on the table of the captain’s room. Bertrand had arrived to check on the route.

                “Don’t worry, the isle isn’t too far off. Hopefully it’s been all but abandoned by this point.” Bertrand said.

                “Abandoned?” Violet asked.

                “There were people there before?” Fiona looked up at him.

                Bertrand rolled his eyes,

                "Ishmael, the batshit old fuck, started a cult of his own, forcing people to drink some fermented coconut milk. It would make you forget things, so you’d listen to his every word. Thankfully, your mother and I left the island before anything could happen to us.”

                “That’s… wild as fuck. Ok.” Quigley said, “And what if it…  _ isn’t  _ abandoned?”

                Klaus felt a pang of disappointment, “...Well this fucking sucks. I  _ love  _ coconut…”

                “Then we’ll take care of the bastard.” Violet said, “I’m sure whoever he’s got wrapped up in his shit won’t mind at all.”

                Fiona sighed, “I suppose if we had to find a place to hide for a while of respite, a remote island would do the trick.” Isadora nodded frantically toward the mycologist, agreeing.

                Fernald smiled, “Larry and I can return to the mainland for supplies using the sub - it’ll be fun living on an island!”

                “It can be like our homebase!” Quigley offered, smiling.

                Violet grinned, “Ogh,  _ fuck yeah,  _ a base of operations for the murder cru.”

                There was some laughter and agreement until-

                “Wait,” Quigley said, staring at the sonar, “W-what is… that?” 

                He pointed to a large question mark coming toward the Queequeg. Fiona and Fernald’s eyes widened in horror as they watched the icon slide closer and closer to them,

                “Th… the Great Unknown.” Fiona stuttered in fear.

                “The… the Great Unknown?” Violet asked carefully, “What… is that?

                Suddenly, a loud roar was heard from not far off.

                “WE’RE GOING DARK, RED ALERT, EVERYONE STAY QUIET.” Fernald called over the intercom.

                Lemony looked around at the others who were scattering to find hiding places before getting up and making his way to the captain’s room.

                “ _ What the fuck is the Great Unkown?”  _ Violet repeated. Quigley latched onto her, holding her close.

                Fiona bit her lip, “It’s a huge, serpentine beast. Dark scales. It’s beautiful, really, but it’s terrifying. I’ve seen it once or twice through the portholes of the Queequeg. Widdershits always told me it was dangerous. I don’t doubt him, but, I don’t think it means ill.”

                “We aren’t going to take any chances right now, Fiona.” Fernald said sternly, “We need to stay quiet - hide.”

                Bertrand looked at him,

                “I agree with Fiona.”

                Violet blinked at the mycologist, “You’re saying the Great Unknown is like this… big ol snake? Like a  _ sea dragon?” _

                “Oh shit, Nessie’s here?” Quigley joked, “Ok, but honestly, if sea dragons are real, I’m going to lose my shit.”

                “She’s certainly something like that.” Lemony said, entering the room. The others looked to him.

                “Fernald, you’re right in wanting to go dark, but don’t fire up the red alert. We need to remain calm. She can feel fear, hatred… many other negative emotions - quite easily.” Lemony explained,

                “Clearly she’s come around us for a reason.”

                “It’s a  _ she?”  _ Fiona’s eyes glittered, “You  _ know  _ about her?”

                Lemony nodded as Fernald moved quickly,

                “Somewhat. Some associates of mine… something or other about a statue of the creature. I’ll tell you about it another time.”

                Violet stared at him in wonder,

                “Mr. Lemons,  _ tell me dragons are real.”  _ She said giddily, half joking. Lemony smiled at her.

_                 She really is like her mother. _

                “Something like that.” Lemony repeated.

                Violet quickly clapped her hands together in glee, looking at Quigley, who was still holding onto her tightly. He laughed, picking her up slightly.

                “Sunny’s right. That _is_ gross.” Fiona snorted. Quigley stuck his tongue out at her.

                The sub went dark moments later, and they all looked about at the portholes.

                Another roar came.

                Lemony went over to the intercom,

                “The creature isn’t  _ dangerous.  _ I’m advising you to remain calm. She will be calm as long as you are. Stow your fears.” He announced.

                He then lifted his finger from the button and looked back at them,

                “Stow - a word here in which means to place your fears away for another time.”

                “I didn’t miss you doing that.” Bertrand chuckled.

                Silence fell over the room as a shadow began to fall over them, the creature winding its way around the Queequeg.

                Glittering black scales littered with beautiful sea flora. Large, silvery claws and iridescent fins.

                She was beautiful.

                Fiona stared in awe as a single, golden, cat-like eye gazed into the porthole.

                Fiona slowly walked over, placing a careful hand onto the glass,

                “...Hello.”

                The eye blinked slowly, lazily at her. They heard a gentle chirping noise.

                Fiona smiled. Violet squeaked gleefully, “ _ She’s talking ! ! _   The giant snake is _talking!!!!!”_

                Lemony chuckled.

                The Great Unknown’s eye moved from the porthole, and then heard the sound of her claws gently grabbing onto the submarine’s metal.

                “Uuuuh?” Quigley said, a little nervous.

                “Don’t worry,” Fiona said, “I think she’s… she wants to help us.”

                “...What the fuck are we in a fantasy novel, now?” Quigley smarted off. Isadora giggled.

                The creature then gave a purr, looking into the front window of the submarine, Fiona walking over to it.

                “...You want to guide us safely to the island?” Fiona asked, looking at the beast.

                She blinked at her, touching its snout to the window. Fiona put her hand where the sea-serpent’s snout was, and giggled,

                “Excellent. Lead the way.”

                Bertrand and Lemony merely stared at her.

                “What the shit, actually.” Violet stared at her.

                Isadora gazed at Fiona in amazement,

                “You can… understand her..?”

                Fiona looked to her poet,

                “I could hear. Some kind of… faint voice. In my head.”

                Everyone else stared at her.

                She laughed nervously, “You probably think I’m crazy, right?”

                Lemony slowly shook his head,

                “No… no. I know what you’re talking about.”

                Fiona looked at him.

                “...What?”

                “But I can’t hear her any more. I don’t… I don’t know why. But she still knows who I am.” Lemony replied.

                Violet looked between them, “Hey, what the fuck?”

                Lemony looked at her,

                “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Violet.”

                The feral teen merely looked at him strangely. Bertrand swallowed.

                “Well, let’s follow… does she actually have a name?” Fiona began, then looking to Lemony and Bertrand.

                “Other than what you know and the Bombinating Beast… no.” Lemony answered.

                Fiona looked back at the creature,

                “How about… Adelaide?”

                The sea serpent made a soft, echoed purring noise, agreeing. Fiona smiled at her.

                “Lead the way, Adelaide.”

* * *

 

                When the all clear was announced, the cru was at first very confused, since the beast was still near the Queequeg. However, once they learned and met Adelaide, some of them…  _ somewhat  _ understood.

                Now, only the remaining Snickets, Bertrand, Fernald, and Fiona were left in the captain’s room.

                Kit watched as the large sea serpent swam beautifully ahead of the submarine. Fiona and Fernald kept an eye on the beast and the sonar, keeping the speed in check.

                Lemony and Bertrand were chatting about the island, “You never did tell us much about the isle.” Lemony had initiated the conversation.

                Kit looked back at her brother and dear friend. Perhaps things would be different, now. A good kind of different. Maybe. She felt another pang of regret.

                If she’d just help them finish the job. Maybe none of this would have happened.

                Maybe.

                Well, there was nothing left to do now but live. Live and let live. Live and learn. Live and let go.

                She went over to them,

                “Bertrand,” Kit said as she walked up, “What will you do if Ishmael is still there?”

                Bertrand looked straight into her eyes,

                “We kill him.”

                Kit opened her mouth to say  _ something,  _ but she couldn’t gather  _ what  _ she could say. She then remembered the kind of people this group contained - 

                People who kill unrighteous people for justice.

                Justice? Was that it?

_                 Was that their excuse? _

                “It’s a horrible thing.” Kit said simply under her breath.

                “It’s a horrible thing, but he’s a horrible person. Just as Olaf turned out to be.” Bertrand breathed, “Kit, what we did was a horrible thing, way back when. It wasn’t necessary. By a long shot. It wasn’t right.”

                Kit gave him a sorrowful look.

                “However,” Bertrand continued, “What we’re doing now - what Violet has been doing and what she’s done - _is_ necessary.”

                “But is it  _ right?”  _ Kit murmured.

                Lemony gave a sigh, “You’re the same woman who can’t obey traffic laws for the life of  _ anyone.  _ I don’t think you’re exactly in a place to ask what’s  _ right.”  _ He joked.

                Kit narrowed her eyes at her brother.

                “I’m merely stating facts, Kit.”

                Bertrand cleared his throat, “Perhaps it isn’t right. Perhaps it _is_ 'horrible'. Providing justice by death sentence is a tricky thing, but,”

                He looked at the both of them,

                “I’d rather do the ‘right’ thing than the ‘wrong’ thing.”

                Kit slowly nodded.

                Lemony smiled,

                “Then let’s be ‘horrible’ together.”

* * *

 

                “Ok, as I was saying, once we get to the island, I was thinking whatever place the Baudenerds’ parents made - we take over that place, expand on it,  _ our city, now.”  _ Carmelita explained to the other kids.

                They had gathered in the kitchen for some snacks. The only adult in the room was Kevin (He was helping Sunny make some sushi.),

                “Agreed. I bet they made a sick-ass place.” The ambidextrous man said.

                “What if that Ishmael dude is still there?” Quigley asked. Violet rolled her eyes.

                “The brainwashing, coconut fermenting guy?” Klaus asked.

                Quigley nodded, “What then?”

                Violet place a gentle hand on her boyfriend’s chin and turned his head her direction,

                “Simple, my sweet little Quiggleforth -  _ we kill him.” _

                Quigley grinned, “Now  _ that’s  _ an idea I can get behind.” Klaus groaned,

                “Can we just. Get through a problem  _ without  _ killing anyone?”

                “Your moral compass is like a roulette wheel.” Duncan looked at him, “Just accept it. This is the life we lead, now.”

                “That doesn’t mean I need to  _ like  _ it, though.” Klaus looked to his own boyfriend, “It’s horrible.”

                “ _ Which  _ is why we’re being horrible  _ together!”  _ Violet grinned, releasing Quigley’s chin and looking at her brother. Klaus squinted at her.

                “I, for one, love being  _ ‘horrible’!”  _ Carmelita giggled, “It’s fuckin’ FUN.”

                Fiona nodded, “If being ‘horrible’ means slaughtering pedophiles and abusers, then so be it.”

                Isadora clung to Fiona happily. Sunny was debating on whether or not to finally get over all the flirting happening or just keep making vomiting noises every time someone did it. For now, however, she was too enraptured with her sushi to care.

                “Fini.” Sunny said as Kevin brought over the platter to the island counter.

                “Oh  _ fuck  _ yeah!” Violet said, plucking up a piece of cod sushi. Klaus placed his chin in his hand, resting an elbow on the table, “Well, this is  _ one  _ way to use some of that wasabi.”

                “By itself? Eesh. With food? Flavorful. Slaps.” Violet said with her mouth full. Fiona glanced at her,

                “Violet, sweetheart, don’t speak with your mouth full.”

                “Shut up, bitch, you’re not my mom.”

                “Do you want me to slap you?”

                “Oh,  _ go ahead,  _ I  _ dare  _ you.”

                The two girls glared at each other. Quigley made a gleeful noise, staring between them giddily. Klaus and Duncan gave him a look.

                “Dude.” Duncan said to his brother, “You are  _ way  _ too excited about this.”

                “Yeah? So what?” Quigley dared.

                “Quigley? Sweetheart?” Violet asked, faking sweetness. Quigley looked at her, faking dreamy eyes,

                “Yes, my darling waterlily?”

                “Shut the  _ fuck  _ up~!”

                Quigley snorted at her.

                Sunny let out a very loud, very tired sigh.


	40. The End? [2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here on the isle... everything is just as you left it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bitchmaeeeelll
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. Fiona  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. Bertrand  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                On the surface of the ocean, a harsh storm raged on, causing their trip to become a tad bumpy. Thankfully, Fiona served to be a good sub captain, and Adelaide a patient guide.

                The cru eventually made it to the island, which was certainly beautiful. However, what it may contain was a different story.

                “We’ll be surfacing, soon. Whatever’s up there… I’m sure it’ll work out either way.” Fiona said from the front. Adelaide roared gently.

                “Again, this is _way_ too surreal and I think I’m - are you guys _sure_ I’m not having a stroke or something?” Klaus asked, checking his vitals. Duncan sighed.

                Violet snorted, “Buddy, I gave up on questioning reality a  _ long  _ time ago. You should, too. This world will never make sense. You might as well get over it.”

                Klaus blinked slowly at her, tired.

                The submarine began to surface at a coastal shelf, Fernald taking to the intercom,

                “We’ve arrived at the end of our journey, everyone! Be prepared to exit the submarine - be careful out there. Larry and I will stay down here and keep an eye on things.”

                Fiona looked to her brother as he went to her side, “Are… are you sure you want to stay on the sub?” Fernald smiled at her,

                “You don’t need my help. If you could survive Olaf, you can survive whatever is up there. Besides - you’ve got some good friends, now.”

                Fiona smiled gently.

                “Alright, losers, let’s see what bullshit we’ve gotta deal with now.” Violet announced, then making her way to the main hatch.

* * *

 

                Bertrand was the first to climb out of the submarine, squinting in the bright sunlight. Once his vision adjusted, he looked at his surroundings.

                Same coastal shelf. Same trees. Same waters. Same skies.

                But was the same person still here? The same  _ people _ , even? Did they have enough sense to leave? Did  _ he _ have enough sense to give it all up?

                Kevin climbed out, next, then Brandon and Jacquelyn. They then began to help others out, get their bearings.

                “See? This place is a lot nicer than the other places we’ve been.” Duncan said, “I  _ told  _ you we’d end up somewhere nice eventually!”

                “Shut the fuck up, Dunc.” Quigley snorted.

                “Oof, there’s a lot of washed up trash here, my dudes.” Violet said, walking over to a statue of a red herring, “I could use some of this stuff, though, like the scrap metal! ...Anyone have a welder? Wait, I think I found one over here-” She rambled on, sifting through the sandy junk.

                “Violet, honestly-” Klaus sighed.

                “Don’t you  _ honestly  _ me, plucky fuck, you know what I’m about.” Violet interrupted. Sunny nodded at her brother before toddling over to her sister, “Make a cool island home!”

                 Bertrand laughed, Lemony looking at them with soft eyes. The spectacled man turned to the solemn man, “I think we need to tell her, Lem.”

                Lemony double took Bertrand, “W-what? Why? That- it would ruin-” Bertrand shook his head,

                “She deserves to know the truth. It won’t change a thing. She’ll just have another family member.”

                “...Then I suppose the question  _ should  _ be…  _ when  _ should we tell her?” Lemony whispered.

                “The sooner the better.” Bertrand replied, looking at Violet, “Though, she’s a smart girl. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had figured it out with all the poking around she liked to do.”

                Lemony sighed.

                As the others began to look around the coastal shelf, stretching their legs and taking in their surroundings, a little voice came from not far off,

                “Oh!!  _ Oh!!!  _ Castaways!!”

                Some heads turned the direction of the voice, and there stood a little girl, around nine years old. She wore a long, white and pink ombre robe, a rope belt tied around it. A peculiar looking bottle was tied to the belt.

                Fiona giggled, “We’re not castaways, sweetheart, we came from the mainlands in our submarine - see?” She said gently, pointing to the Queequeg.

                The girl’s eyes widened in sparkling wonder at the mechanical sea-vehicle, “ _ That’s  _ a submarine!? That’s  _ amazing!  _ I’m apparently not supposed to get near those kinds of things - that’s what my mother says, anyways. I’m Friday, by the way. Who’re you guys?”

                Fiona blinked at her, “It’s… nice to meet you, Friday. I’m Fiona. You’ll learn everyone else’s names soon enough. There’s… quite a lot of us.” Friday nodded in agreement.

                Bertrand was watching the exchange, then walked over to them,

                “Is… Ishmael here, by any chance?”

                The small girl looked up at him, “Oh, yeah! Did you guys come all the way from the mainlands to see him? Why for?  _ Who’re you guys? _ ” Friday repeated. Fiona looked at the girl gently,

                “We’re here to take care of someone nasty. You might know him.”

                Friday’s abundant excitement quickly faded, “Wh-who?”

                Bertrand looked back at the others. Brandon and Kevin suddenly looked horribly stiff. Kit looked nervous. Lemony stared off into the distance.

                “I suppose we have our last mission for now, yes?” Bertrand grit his teeth.

                Friday looked up at him, confused, worried, “What do you mean?”

                Klaus sighed,

                “I’m guessing Ishmael lets you wander out here?”

                Friday nodded slowly, “He says we can go to the coastal shelf after each storm to find things, but he won’t force us to keep it.” Bertrand muttered the last several words under his breath along with her.

                Klaus looked up at his father, then back to Friday,

                “Friday, what’s in that bottle?”

                “...Coconut cordial.” She answered, “Ish said the water is too salty to drink, so we drink this. Someone else wanted to make a water  _ fill tray shun _ system once? But Ish said it probably wouldn’t be a... good idea...”

                The spectacled boy squinted, “Well, this is worse than I thought.”

                Brandon and Kevin had walked to Bertrand’s side. Brandon knelt down to the girl,

                “Does Ish ever mention things about his past?”

                “No. He says the past can be a dangerous thing. It’s best to... ignore it.”

                “...Is that so?” Brandon replied. Kevin felt his jaw tighten.

                Friday felt an odd feeling deep within her.  _ Why are they acting this way..? Did Ishmael do something… wrong? _

                Something cold brushed past Klaus - his sister. She knelt down carefully to Friday, 

                “Take us to Ishmael.” She stated simply. 

                Friday’s breathing hitched, looking at Violet for a few seconds before nodding, grabbing onto Bertrand’s coat, and leading them to the shore.

* * *

 

                As our group made their way through the village, they received strange and scared looks - possibly due to their weapons and blood stains.

                “Now, now, I  _ know  _ books always sound like such a  _ pleasant  _ little idea, but what if you decide that the ideas you read are better than the ones you have now? Change can be a  _ very  _ scary thing to deal with. But - I won’t force you!” Ishmael said to a villager as the Baudelaires and Friday walked into his hut.

                Ishmael was an older looking man confined to a chair, his messy, long, white hair and beard tangled into braids. He and the other residents had the same robes as Friday on. The huts around the village bore the same colors as the robes, due to the sheep that were bred and slaughtered - white with hints of pink from the shrimp they consumed.

                “Now, has anyone else found anything of interest?” The old crook asked.

                Friday nervously made her way to him,

                “I found some people who arrived from the mainland… they said they need to… meet with you.” Friday lied carefully. Bertrand and Violet eyed Ishmael dangerously.

                There was a sudden hush as Ishmael stared at them for a few minutes. The man waved off the other villagers, and they quickly filed out. Friday stayed at the Baudelaire’s side, clutching onto Bertrand's leg. Something definitely didn’t feel right.

                “I would be speechless as well, Ishmael.” Bertrand spoke, his voice low.

                Ishmael gripped the arms of his chair,

                “Bertrand Baudelaire…”

                Violet stepped in front of her dad,

                “Finding joy in the manipulation of innocent people is a twisted thing,  _ Ish. _ ”

                Friday’s eyes widened.  _ Manipulation? W-what? _

                Ishmael smiled wickedly,

                “So is murder.”

                Friday looked quickly between her found friends and Ishmael in a panic.  _ Murder!? _

                Violet felt her blood boil.

                “How ignorant of you to assume the papers of the mainlands wouldn’t wash up on my shores, hm? For your sake, I’ve kept your little story a secret from my people, and yet - here you’ve turned up.” Ishmael continued.

                Bertrand clenched his jaw tightly.

                “Why is that?” Ishmael grinned deviously.

                Klaus huffed,

                “We’ll cut to the chase,” He said, crossing his arms, “Dad said you’re an asshole, so we’re here to free the people you’ve brainwashed.”

                “V.F.D.” Sunny growled, which meant,  _ “Your organization truly is all the same, isn’t it? Brainwashing... manipulation...” _

                Ishmael laughed, “I’m merely protecting these castaways from the evils of the outside world, you must understand, right, Bertrand?” He looked at the spectacled man in front of him.

                Bertrand glared, “You banished my wife and I to the far reaches of the island after we refused your poison. Ignorance of the outside world is unwise - you  _ know _ this.”

                Violet gripped one of her pistols, “We’d rather you come quietly-” Bertrand placed a hand on his daughter’s shoulder,

                “Your mind won’t be easily swayed - I know this, Ishmael. We’ll give you a chance to think on this.” He glared, “We have all the proof we need of your teachery, Ishmael. Trying to convince your blind, drugged followers would only worsen the situation.”

                Ishmael drummed his fingers on his chair. He glanced down at Friday, who was currently clinging closely to Bertrand,

                “You have  _ no  _ power here,  _ boy. _ ”

                “ _ We  _ have more power than you’ll ever realize.” The Baudelaire father snarled. Ishmael grit his teeth,

                “Leave my presence.”

                “Your funeral.” Violet muttered, turning to leave.

                The others followed in tow, Friday staying by Bertrand’s side. As they made their way back to the submarine, she could hear her mother calling for her, but she ignored it.

                Something was fishy. Far more fishy than the raw salmon, cod, and shrimp they usually consumed.

                She was going to find out.

                Brandon and Kevin whispered angrily with Lemony and Bertrand on the way back to their temporary base - the Queequeg. Violet didn’t mind the young girl tagging along.

                After all, it was the inventor’s job to protect girls like her, now.

* * *

 

                That evening, there was a tense meeting in the captain’s room over some stew. Harsh whispers and loud outbursts were abundant. Worried glances and fearful noises were exchanged. The hatch to the submarine was closely guarded by Fernald and Jacquelyn.

                Friday sat in the corner of the captain’s room, poking at her fishy stew. She was taken aback by the abundant flavors - it was definitely a change of pace. The good kind.

                Fiona approached the young girl carefully,

                “...Are you… alright?”

                Friday glanced up at the captain.

                “I’m… trying to be.” She said before dropping the spoon into the bowl,

                “The way Ishmael looked… we’d…  _ I’d  _ never seen him that way before. Why did he say those things? What did he  _ do?” _

                “He’s apparently done many vile things - I don’t know if a child of your age and innocence should know such things, however.” Fiona explained.

                “A little late for that, Fi.” Violet walked over to her, “We’ll need to call a meeting. Figure some things out.”

                Fiona rolled her eyes, “I know you’re ‘ _ The Leader’  _ or somesuch, but-” Violet grabbed the girl by the collar, pulling her closer to her face,

                “You’re right. I  _ am  _ the leader. And what  _ I  _ say.  _ Goes.” _

                She then let go. Fiona felt a warm shiver slide down her spine.

                “Apologies, but there people out on that island who are in  _ danger.  _ They’ve lost their sense of self, no doubt, and are following the every whim of that manipulative son of a bitch. We’re not going to waste time like we did with Olaf.” Violet spat.

                Fiona swallowed,

                “They who hesitate are lost.”

                Violet smiled at her,

                “ _ Exactly, sweetheart.” _

                Fiona looked confusedly between them, “Ishmael has been manipulating us? What’s going o-?”

                Violet knelt down to her, “Everything will be explained once an orderly meeting is called - well,” She looked back at the currently arguing cru, “As orderly as we can get.”

                Friday, once again, only nodded.

* * *

 

                Violet finally got everyone to settle down once she raised her voice to an octave that would cause one to flinch ten times over. 

                As the cru settled, Violet stood at the front of the room with Bertrand and Lemony, Brandon and Kevin seated nearby,

                “Here’s the plan - we get the villagers to revolt.”

                “How the  _ fuck  _ are we going to do  _ that?”  _ Klaus squinted at her. Quigley threw a crumpled napkin at him. The bookworm quickly batted it away without looking in his direction.

                “We could lead them to the tree. Show them everything Bitchmael has been hiding from them. Tell them what he’s done… to others… to us… to  _ them.”  _ Bertrand replied. Klaus let out a sigh.

                “What did he do.” Friday spoke up sternly.

                Violet glanced in the girl’s direction. Bertrand cleared his throat,

                “Allow us to explain.”

* * *

 

                Bertrand explained that Ishmael was a man of many crimes and lies.

                Ishmael had done the following:

  * Claimed he had started V.F.D.
  * Worked closely with the Gruesome Twosome.
  * Got Brandon and Carmelita’s older cousin, Amelia, killed in a very horrible way.
  * Had a hand in Kevin’s dearest friend Florence’s death, who was mainly offed by the Gruesome Twosome.
  * Brainwashed and manipulated the islanders through fermented coconut milk, aka the “Coconut cordial”. (Which Klaus was still incredibly disappointed in, due to his love for coconut. “How could such a lovely food be used for evil? Shit.”)



                This was certainly an abundant amount of information for everyone to take in.

                Especially for little Friday.

                However, it was as if everything started to make sense to her. The sudden shocked looks she would get when she would offer ideas. The angry looks Ishmael would give her when she asked why. THe way she felt sometimes after drinking the cordial…

                It was like… the world opened up to her.

                Brandon was nearly shaking with anger when remembering Amelia. Carmelita was grabbing onto his arm. What they had to go through. The pain. He hadn’t forgotten. He couldn’t.

                Kevin was nearly in tears - Hugo and Colette had to console him after he took his time to tell his story. The Twosome were relentless. The Big Bad Brick Gang had refused to work with V.F.D. any longer. Something just… didn’t feel right. They had gotten separated somewhere along the way. Running. He could remember seeing Drumstick running. Far, far away.

                And Florence…

                She couldn’t... 

                She couldn’t make it out.

                Kevin’s tears were angry and vengeful. He wanted revenge. He wanted the Twosome dead. He didn’t want these repressed memories to come back - but they had to.

                The others had to know.

                Violet looked to the others, her heart heavy,

                “This isn’t about getting revenge.” She spoke softly,

                “This is about bringing  _ justice.  _ Justice… that’s what the cru is all about.”

                There were some agreeing noises.

                Friday nodded,

                “I’ll help. I’ll do anything and everything.”

                Some of them looked to her, surprised. Worried.

                “Anything to free my momma.”


	41. The End? [3]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As one life ends, another begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A mercy killing and a mercy ending.
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. Fiona  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. Bertrand  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/

                

                The next morning proved to be very productive. The cru chose those who Ishmael would definitely accept into the village; Klaus, Duncan, and Carmelita.

                Friday was able to get them some extra robes, and once they were outfitted, the small girl lead them back to Ishmael’s large hut.

                “Ishmael! I was able to convince some of those… people to join us!” Friday said psuedo-happily, presenting the three teens to him.

                Ishmael grinned, “ _ Excellent _ work, Friday!” He cooed to her, then looking to the others, “Welcome, welcome to our humble little village! I trust you’ve had enough of that  _ life on the lam,  _ hmm? Come now, drink some cordial, let’s have a toast to our newest members!” He chuckled heartily.

                Carmelita nudged Klaus, “Remember the plan, nerd.” She whispered under her breath. Klaus rolled his eyes, “ _ Duh.” _

                The three were given three coconuts full of the cordial, and Friday uncorked her bottle.

                As they began to raise their drinks to their mouths, a loud crash came from behind Ishmael, along with several unsettled sheep noises. The now disgruntled man turned back to see what the noise was about, calling out.

                The teens dumped the drink onto the sand below them, covering up the wetness with dry sand. Friday’s bottle had been emptied beforehand.

                As Ishmael turned back, they acted as if they were still drinking. Friday corked her bottle,

                “Did someone knock over the sheep pen gate, again?”

                “Yes, yes - happens almost every other day, now. We  _ really  _ need to fix up that gate better, yes?” Ishmael sighed, “If only that little inventor girl would have changed her awful little mind - but, well, you know, Klaus, those types can be  _ sneaky,  _ right?”

                Klaus merely nodded as he pulled the coconut away from his mouth,

                “Oh, yes, of course. She tried to… convince me not to come here. But I knew better.” He explained. Ishmael gave a disturbing grin,

                “ _ The more the merrier!” _

                Friday felt her stomach turn.

* * *

 

                That afternoon, they had met with the other villagers. Ishmael was a fool and kept to his hut, as per usual. This made it easy for the teens and Friday to explain to them that a fun gathering for their arrival was going to be held at the far end of the island past the odd wall of flora.

                Of course, the islanders were overjoyed at the notion, and suspected nothing of it.

                This much easier than they thought it would be.

                ...Far too easy.

                Eventually, they’d met with all the villagers, and by nightfall, the rest of the cru was ready. Bertrand lead the others to the tree, Violet’s eyes glittering at all of the amazing inventions he and Beatrice had made to make it a more comfortable place of living.

                “This… this is  _ spectacular.”  _ Violet breathed as Bertrand started the contraption that powered the electricity in the tree house. Sunny clapped her little hands, running over to the couch and clambering up onto it.

                Fiona spied a very thick book lying on the coffee table nearby,

                “Bert, what’s this about, then?”

                Bertrand turned around, seeing the book, and gave a soft, longing smile,

                “...It’s a journal. A journal Beatrice and I kept… during our time on this cursed island…”

                He walked over, picked it up, and opened it, turning it’s somewhat endless pages in his hands, his jaw tightening, trying to hold back tears,

                “She was  _ so  _ excited about you, Violet.”

                Violet blinked, “She… was?”

                “Your mother talked about our future all the time. With me. With  _ you.  _ We already had your name picked out…  _ Violet  _ for a girl…” Bertrand said, then looking to a curious Lemony, who was looking at an odd stack of books nearby,

                “And  _ Lemony  _ for a boy.”

                Lemony’s gaze quickly shot up to Bertrand,

                “She… I…” He began, “Beatrice was… was going to name her first child after…  _ me?” _

                Bertrand smiled to the Snicket man,

                “Of course, Lemony. She loved you.  _ We  _ loved you.” He chuckled, going to take his hand,

                “ _ I still do.” _

                Lemony’s cheeks became rosey as he smiled,

                “Bertrand…  _ honestly…”  _ The man chuckled. Violet’s eyes widened,

                “Yo, what?”

                Quigley snorted,

                “Your dad’s a bi disaster, babe! Imagine that!”

                Bertrand laughed, “We’ll need to get the place ready for the islanders. Come on, then.” Lemony nodded.

                Violet shook off her confusion. She wasn’t surprised, but it definitely perplexed her there for a second.

                “The two bookgays, little red, and the new baby I’d absolutely die for should arrive with the islanders, soon. Be prepared. They could freak out, or worse, raise some sort of hell.” The feral teen said, then blowing her bangs upward.

                “We’ve been through worse.” Quigley stated.

                “Mort.” Sunny agreed.

                There was some noise just outside. Bertrand and Fiona moved to either side of the entry way to greet the kids.

                Friday ran through the doorway with an excited look on her face, then came Klaus, Duncan, and Carmelita. They looked more tired than anything else.

                “Today you’ll be free of your uncertainties! You’ve got nothing to lose but your chains!” Friday called happily as the villagers entered the tree, staring around in wonder.

                Violet blinked. Isadora started to laugh.

                “Hey, Fri? What did you tell them-?” Violet began, but Klaus cut her off,

                “Legit - these drugged up nutfucks are on board for almost anything.”

                Duncan sighed, “Thankfully, this is the  _ right  _ thing… mostly.”

                The cru once again went through their explanations, as painful as it was. The islanders were shocked and dismayed. Bertrand said it would take a couple of weeks for the effects of the cordial to fully wear off - Fernald would be taking them to the mainlands via the submarine.

                Friday told her mother she’d be staying with the cru to help them, to which she clearly objected to at first. The girl explained to her mother that there would be no changing her mind. She wasn’t going with her. Friday wanted to stay with the band of rowdy vigilantes.

                Her mother begrudgingly gave in.

                In the dead of night, the islanders moved their belongings to the Queequeg, then after some tearful good byes and some be carefuls, Fernald and Larry left with the islanders for the mainlands.

                Violet was wary what had become of the city now that the Gruesome Twosome had succeeded in burning down the hotel, along with several dozen homes and the like.

                However, at this point, quite frankly,

                She didn’t give to shits.

                Not right now, anyway.

* * *

 

                Ishmael was sound asleep in his hut as this all happened. Klaus had slipped a heavy sleeping supplement into his food. The poor bastard was knocked out and completely unaware of the silent revolt.

                Quigley thought it would have been cooler to see all the villagers beat the bastard to death. Violet disagreed.

                “That would end with some complications. Besides, we have some of our own that would much rather take care of him.”

                Quigley shrugged.

                Isadora looked at the four who were clearly up for the job - 

                Bertrand, Lemony, Brandon, and Kevin.

                “Got a plan?” The sapphic poet said simply.

                Brandon nodded silently, his face hard. Kevin laughed, “We tear the bastard to shreds and feed his body to the beast.”

                “Burn him!” Sunny called.

                “Sunny, what the fuck.” Klaus rose an eyebrow at his tiny sister.

                “Force him to watch you guys chop off his limbs.” Carmelita offered with a sickening grin.

                “The beast?” Friday piped up.

                Lemony nodded, “The Bombinating Beast.”

                “The Great Unknown.” Colette said.

                “Adelaide.” Fiona corrected the both of them. Friday’s eyes glittered,

                “You gave her a name?”

                Suddenly, the rest of the cru stopped and looked at Friday.

                “You know about her?” Jacquelyn whispered.

                Friday blinked, “Well, yeah. She would come to the island to see me. I’d have to see her in secret, though. Ishmael hated her. A lot. He tried to kill her once, with a harpoon gun.”

                “A  _ harpoon gun?”  _ Olivia cried, her eyebrows arching upwards. Friday only nodded,

                “He told me ever to tell anyone he had it, but that’s definitely off the table, now, huh?” She giggled.

                Lemony looked worriedly at Bertrand.

                “‘Harpoon gun’s pussy shit.” Violet called, crossing her arms, “The weapons we wield are ten times stronger than a shitty little thing like  _ that.” _

                Duncan cleared his throat, “She’s right.”

                “Regardless, it’s still dangerous.” Hugo said, worried.

                “Bullshit.” Kevin scoffed.

                “Everyone..?” Kit called weakly through the arguing.

                Friday made a worried noise, “You guys should still plan accordingly!”

                “For what?” Quigley snorted.

                “ _ Everyone, please,”  _ Kit cried again.

                As others bickered, Lemony glanced at his sister, only to see her clutching at her stomach on the couch nearby. He ran over to her. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut,

                “ _ The baby-!” _

                “T-the  _ bABY IS  _ **_COMING-_ ** ” Lemony managed to get out before other members quickly began to move without further issue.

* * *

 

                Jacquelyn and Olivia helped Kit with the birth. Thankfully, there weren’t any complications, and the baby was born healthy and safe.

                “It… it’s a girl..!” Olivia cried happily, handing the little bundle to Kit. The Snicket woman took her newborn into her arms and began to cry,

                “...My little miracle…”

                Violet choked back a sob, clinging to Quigley, who was currently grinning from ear to ear. Klaus and Duncan cried happily together nearby. Carmelita gave a happy wail as Isadora patted her head. Fiona held onto Friday as the young girl looked on in wonder. Lemony and Bertrand congratulated Kit several times over. The farm sibs cheered, Brandon smiling wildly.

                “What’re you gonna name her?” Quigley asked.

                Kit gave a soft, tired smile,

                “...Beatrice.”

                Everyone each gave their own happy agreement, Lemony and Bertrand now crying.

                The sun was slowly rising. The dawn of a new day.

* * *

 

                Ishmael woke up in a confused daze. What time was it? What happened? Why was it so… oddly quiet? The last thing he remembered was eating with the newcomers from-

_                 Ah. _

_                 I see. _

                The old bastard slowly got to his feet and went to the flaps of his hut. He pulled them apart,

                And there, in the bright sunlight,

                Stood Lemony Snicket, Bertrand Baudelaire, Brandon Spats, and Kevin Old. Each holding a weapon of their choice. Each looking their own variety of Fucking Pissed.

                Ishmael laughed,

                “My dear boys, is it really right to end this in blood?”

                “Shut the  _ fuck  _ up you piece of shit. Nobody cares for your hypocrisy -  _ we  _ certainly don’t.” Kevin snarled.

                “I’ve been waiting for this moment  _ far  _ longer than you could fucking imagine,  _ bastard.”  _ Brandon spat harshly.

                “Consider this a mercy killing.” Bertrand said plainly.

                “This will be a _perfunctory_ slaughter - a word here which means with very little effort or forethought.” Lemony spoke smoothly.

                Ishmael’s smile faintly faltered,

                “I suppose this is where our story ends, hm?”

                “For you, yes.” Bertrand spoke.

                “For us, there’s still much to be done.” Lemony explained.

                Brandon quickly grabbed the old bastard by the neck, yanking him out from the hut, holding him up in the air, then throwing him into the sand behind them.

                Ishmael coughed violently, then looking to his surroundings,

                The other members of the cru stood with their own weapons aimed at him, circling him.

                “How fitting.” Ishmael spoke weakly, grinning.

                Brandon kicked Ishmael in the side of his head as he spun his bat in his hand, than giving a swift blow to the old bastard’s ribs. Ishmael let out a distressed scream, then began to cough up blood.

                Bertrand rose his rifle as Brandon then lifted Ishmael up by his hair.

                The others watched in silence as Bertrand fired off a shot into both of the man’s shoulders, blood splattering onto the white sand below. Ishmael could only grit his teeth in pain.

                Not far off, down the shore, Friday stood. She held a large shell in her hands. She turned it over a couple of times before blowing into it like a horn.

                Seconds later, Adelaide lifted her head from the waters at the coastal shelf, her bright eyes glinting.

                Friday waved to her silently.

                Adelaide then leapt over the shelf, landing in the shallow waters on the other side, the water splashing beautifully around her.

                “... You know the guy who was trying to kill you a while ago?” Friday said as Adelaide splashed up to the girl.

_                 Yes. _

                “With the harpoon gun?” Friday continued.

_                 Yes, child. _

                “He’s being prepped as a snack for you right now. Down the shore. If you’d like.” Friday finished.

                Adelaide’s forked tongue flicked in hunger, her head then turning to where the slaughter was taking place.

_                 Stay here. _

                Friday nodded to the large sea serpent as she began to smoothly splash her way down the shoreline.

                Back to the main event, Lemony looked at his single clawed hand, then to the hurting Ishmael.

                He lunged forward, digging the claws into the man’s chest, gripping around a certain still beating organ,

                And ripping it out, blood splattering.

                Violet and Carmelita screamed in delight.

                Ishmael’s life left his eyes.

                Brandon, still holding the man by his head, looked to Kevin, who walked carefully over,

                Raised a single blade,

                And severed the old bastard’s head.

                The body flopped into the sand.

                They all heard some loud splashing. Fiona turned to see Adelaide, the towering sea serpent, her scales glittering in the sunlight. There were some soft gasps of amazement.

                Those near the shore quickly moved to make way for the serpent’s large head as she leaned down to the bloody bits.

                “I know it’s not as.  _ Delectable  _ as you’d like, Ad, but… we thought it was a fitting end for him.” Fiona said.

_                 Indeed. _

                Fiona nodded.

                Brandon then threw the head upwards, Adelaide clamping her jaws down tightly.

                The men quickly moved aside as the serpent then chomped down onto the bloody sand, devouring the rest.

_                 Good enough. _

                The mycologist chuckled.

                As the rest of the cru cheered, Bertrand fell to his knees in the sand. The Baudelaire children ran to their father,

                “Are you- are you alright?”

                “Papa..!”

                “It’s over, it’s over, dad! It’s all over, now, it’s gonna be ok, yeah?”

                Lemony walked to Bertrand and knelt down, placing a hand on his shoulder, “I wouldn’t say it's over just yet.”

                Violet looked to him, “...Right.”

                “This is just the beginning!” Duncan proclaimed.

                “...A new brotherhood. This time.” Isadora spoke carefully.

                Carmelita looked around as the cru began to calm,

                “ _ Our city now! _ ”

                Jacquelyn sighed, “I suppose the island could serve as a new home for us, yes?”

                “We’re all a family, now, after all!” Colette giggled. Hugo nodded happily.

                Fiona went up to Adelaide and placed a gentle hand on the serpent’s snout,

                “This is the best future I could have ever hoped for.”

                Lemony smiled.

                The sun had risen on a new era.


	42. An Elegant Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know you've been lookin' lowly,  
> They all left you feelin' lonely,  
> Close those eyes and don't you worry,  
> Sunday's comin'.  
> A mind that always stresses,  
> Can't forget about your messes,  
> Close them eyes and don't you worry,  
> Sunday's comin'."  
> -Sunday, Forrest & Biskwiq

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end of arc one !  
> time to work on other fics for now 😵
> 
> AU Playlist (For Violet+B&V Vibes):  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3MZbbhlzgNI8WvWDYP7WK2)
> 
> AU Playlist of team character themes:  
> 1\. Violet  
> 2\. Klaus  
> 3\. Sunny  
> 4\. Isadora  
> 5\. Quigley  
> 6\. Duncan  
> 7\. Fiona  
> 8\. Carmelita  
> 9\. Colette  
> 10\. Kevin  
> 11\. Hugo  
> 12\. Jacquelyn  
> 13\. Olivia  
> 14\. Brandon  
> 15\. Bertrand  
> 16\. Larry  
> 17\. Lemony  
> (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3psmMlcQRPiksMtOmp9JEb)
> 
> Remember to read the Way of Xia AU:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948612/chapters/42387860)
> 
> Read the Dreamscape AU!:  
> (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862623/chapters/47038708)
> 
> vi*laf shippers die by my hands challenge. :^)
> 
> Contact me: https://hongmoondescendant.tumblr.com/  
> bg in header by Christina Vidal/@jetsetchristina via insta  
> art of vi in header by me !

                

                As the months drew onward, the cru began to settle into their new island surroundings. Fernald and Larry would bring in supplies and news from the mainlands. The city was certainly scarred, but things were mostly quiet, oddly enough.

                This wasn’t exactly reassuring, but they all needed some time to rest, build, and perhaps train for the coming time.

                Violet, Fiona, and Kevin began to create plans for sweet little sea-side houses. The feral inventor also began some inventive plans on a large generator that was both hydro and solar powered.

                It was nice to wake up to the sounds of sea-faring birds and crashing waves, rather than to worries and anxiety.

                Jacquelyn and Oliva enjoyed exploring the island’s jungle, bringing back all sorts of gorgeous flora and interesting fauna. Brandon began to teach Klaus all sorts of first aid practices. Sunny and Kevin would cook delicious meals, Olivia or Duncan occasionally helping (Violet and Quigley were banned from the kitchen for various reasons. Including exploding spaghetti. Don’t ask.).

                Bertrand showed the curative apples of the tree to the others. Not only were they deliciously sour, but they also cured the ailments of the Medusoid Mycelium… as well as stomach aches and sore throats.

* * *

 

                Violet stood on the pale sand one evening, the ocean air gently whipping at her hair. She’d let it down, now, every once in a while. It was a freeing feeling.

                She was humming something. Something new.

                Gazing off far beyond the coastal shelf, the glittering waves, she heard a deep voice from behind her,

                “Care to chat?”

                She smiled, turning around, “Lemony, sure, of course.”

                The man smiled, “I have… something to tell you.” He took a deep breath.

                “S’that so?” Violet wondered, “Is it about me, by any chance?”

                Lemony only blinked at her.

                “About how you’re really my birth father, and Bertrand isn’t?” She continued.

                A bewildered Lemony opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it again. Well, she was indeed a bright girl.

                “Bold of you to assume Klaus and Duncan didn’t do some extensive reading and research. It’d been a while since they’d done that. I wasn’t surprised when they told me.” Violet chuckled,

                “Guess I’ll have to add ‘Snicket’ to my name, huh?”

                Lemony walked over to her, “You’re not… upset?”

                “Why would I be? _Violet Snicket Baudelaire._ That sounds pretty good.” She said.

                “I thought you would have been-”

                “It doesn’t change a thing. If anything, it just makes this situation all the more better. Now we’ve got two dads! Two… really amazing dads.” Violet smiled up at him.

                Lemony began to tear up as he took his daughter into a tight hug. She laughed and hugged him back,

                “Thank you.”

* * *

 

                The sun filtered through the sheer curtains of the tree one morning, Violet and Quigley snuggled together on a soft, makeshift bed.

                The girl’s eyes opened slowly, blinking in the light. She looked up at Quigley, who muttered something stupid in his sleep. She softly giggled at him.

                Duncan and Klaus sat at the coffee table, shoulder to shoulder. Klaus flipped another page in the large book as Duncan finished taking another page of cliff notes for it. Each time the bookworm turned a page, he gave a peck on the journalist’s cheek and they laughed. Sunny sat nearby, grumbling all the while.

                Fiona stared lovingly at Isadora as she recited poetry from memory to the mycologist. Really, Fiona had no idea what the sapphic poet was saying a majority of the time, but honestly? She didn’t really give two shits. Was this what love was? It had to be. If _this_ was what love actually was, then she liked it. Fiona _loved_ love.

                Kit played happily with her daughter, Beatrice II. The little infant giggled as she held onto her mother’s fingers. Her tiny hands. Her chubby cheeks. She was _so small._ So _precious._ And Kit was so _happy._ Finally, _finally_ happy.

                Carmelita, Brandon, and the farm sibs sat on the shores near the tree. Brandon plucked at the strings on his guitar, Kevin leaning on his shoulder, dozing. Colette was attempting to teach Carmelita cross-stitching. Hugo was staring at the morning horizon. Their lives had finally found peace. A found family. A found happiness.

                Bertrand and Lemony walked through what was left of Ishmael’s village. They had taken down the majority of the huts for the fabric, lead the sheep to their side of the isle, and salvaged whatever else they could find. They had lit the rest of the cordial on fire on the coastal shelf, letting it burn off. The Snicket man walked tiredly to a deep leaning palm tree and rested his arms onto it, burying his head in them. Bertrand looked back from his work to see this. The man walked over to the other, and wrapped reassuring arms around the Snicket man’s waste. Lemony smiled.

                They didn’t know how long they’d be on the island. But… that didn’t matter to them.

                What mattered now was that they’d all found peace. Happiness. Placing a foot forward and leaving the past behind.

                A tale of blood and vengeance…

                A tale of growth and acceptance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit has this been a journey the last few months. I've learned a fucking LOT while writing this and made some amazing friends, it was all thanks to the VFDiscord server. I love every single person I've grown close to and all of those who supported me.
> 
> I started writing this a little while after I joined the server. I was still stuck in an unfortunate situation of my own, so writing this was a form of escape for me, that and the other fics I was writing as well. The support I received made my cold heart start to feel warm again. I became a stronger person during all of this. It's damn incredible what a small fandom and some friends you earn from it can do to and for you.
> 
> So, with that, this is the end of the first arc of Blood & Vengeance.
> 
> What, you thought it was over?
> 
> Naaaaah. I've got things planned. BIG things.
> 
> For now, though, I'll be working on some other fics. I hope everyone will stay around a little while longer.
> 
> And again, from the deepest depths of my heart,
> 
> ~Arisa "Bunni" Artisan :3c


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